This is me

Rant

Hey guys, I have been so stressed again and so busy it is hard to keep up with wattpad... I'm debating leaving the site for good... just cause I never seem to have time for it and well... My hand pain doesn't seem to be going away any time soon so it's just growing increasingly harder to write anything out like this. I also had to go to the ER on Saturday because of crippling side pain. I sat there in and out of the waiting room while they ran several tests, just to tell me they couldn't fully determine the cause... They say I have a small kidney stone in my kidney and think I may have just passed another smaller one. And even though I am now in a relationship with this really amazing guy... I can't stop thinking about my ex and it's making me think I am just using him as a rebound thing and I really don't want to do that. I have talked with him about it, he says he understands because he knows just what exactly I went through with her and would be surprised if I felt otherwise... I don't know what to do... How do I move on?!! I want to forget her, I want to be with someone who actually loves and cares about me and doesn't think I need to change anything!!! I'm just so frustrated with my whole life rn... It's getting harder and harder to keep pushing myself to do things because my body is in constant pain... It's going further than my hands and arms. There is constant pain throughout my body every single fucking day but the worst pain is still in my hands and sometimes travels to my arms... I just want this pain to subside or go away. I wish the doctors could figure out what the hell to do about this. My body has virtually become immune to any sort of pain killers, none of them work anymore!!!