Eddie's Pov:
I am. So. Fucking. Gay. It's not even funny.
I. Like. Richie. Trashmouth. Tozier.
Who wouldn't?
Actually, lots of people wouldn't........ but that's not even the point!
The point is, is that I fucking like him a lot!
Just a few days ago I told myself that I was just going through a phase, that I like Myra still, I'm just really.... Really confused.
But nope.
That fucking ran. Me. Over. Like a train!
Not only do I not feel anything for Myra, I've never ever liked any other girl before.
Or guy (OBVIOUSLY besides Richie)
Maybe I didn't even like Myra. I just thought she was a good person.
I dont know? Okay? Im a new gay into this world.
I don't know what to do.
I just came out of the closet I didn't even know I have been trapped inside of for 15 years!
Ever since the night I spent with Richie, I've been up all night thinking. Just thinking
What if he asked me to be his boyfriend? Would I say yes?
Does he even want to be in a relationship?
Would he want me to ask him to be his boyfriend?
Is he a good kisser? (Only ask this because Stan keeps interrupting us) (plus the very first kiss doesn't count)
I was thinking of asking him.. ya know. To be my boyfriend and all that good stuff.
Where would I even start?
Obviously by telling him my feelings and everything, but what's the first thing I would say?
Should I just be straight with him? (Ahahaha)
I MEAN, should I just ask him, "hey, do you wanna be my boyfriend?"
No.. I gotta plan something.
Maybe we could meet at the park or somewhere nice.
Maybe I'm worrying too much...
If HE asked me, I would most likely say yes..
But I'm not sure he will.
He's probably nervous just like me.
Awww he's so cute when he's embarrassed or nervous.
He starts blushing, then constantly re adjust his glasses.
I find that adorable. It's probably and hopefully just me.
Anyways, I was just sitting here on my chair right? Bored as fuck. I didn't know what to do, when I randomly thought of the kissing bridge.
What if I carved our initials?
So that's what I'm doing right now.
Pocket knife in one hand and my other hand gripping on my bike handle as I ride through the morning.
I know that it was weird for me to write E+R since Richie already wrote R+E, but that was before we started, liking eachother.
He liked me then, but I didn't.
So me writing this is EXTRA special.
-
Once I finally get to the bridge, I see a familiar someone already sitting there.
He was just sitting there, leaning against the wood and reading a book.
"I didn't know you could read." I smirk.
I throw my bike onto the ground (because thats what every kid in Derry does apparently) and walk and sit down next to him.
"Obviously I can read." He chuckles
"No... really?" I roll my eyes playfully.
"Why are you here anyways?" I ask.
"Uhh, I have to finish this book before Thursday and my house isn't very quiet right now so I can't focus." He shrugs.
"Im sorry."
"It's not your fault Eds."
"I know, but I feel bad. You shouldn't have to live with your parents if they treat you like this."
"Then where else would I live? I would be homeless Eds."
"Nooo. You could live with me." I smile.
"I'll pass." He laughs.
I scoff.
"Owie. That hurt my feelings Richie."
"Im sowwy Eddie-boo. Would a kwissy make it bettwer?" He laughs.
"Maybe." I say.
Richie looks up from his book and kisses my cheek, causing my entire face to turn into a tomato.
"Aw. You're blushing." Richie teases.
I cross my arms and rest my head on the wood fencing behind me.
"Eddie?"
"What."
"Why are you here?"
"Rude."
"Just answer the question you baby."
"Did you just call me baby, or did you call me A baby?"
"Yes?" Richie smirks.
"Anyways, I uh, came here to.." I pause trying to think of a good excuse that doesnt sound embarrassing.
"Came here to what? Annoy me?"
"I didn't even know you would be here." I roll my eyes.
"I was joking dipshit."
"I know.."
"Why did you come?" Richie squints his eyes.
"To carve something into the bridge.." I mumble.
"Oh... carve what?" Richie sits up and kneels next to me.
"Um. Something? Stop antagonizing me." I frown.
"No." He says firmly.
I roll my eyes at his stupidity.
"You're being an ass."
"Um what's new? You tell me that everyday." Richie laughs.
"Not EVERY day."
"Ugh. That's such a lie." Richie continues to his book.
"Whatever. I'm gonna go do my thing." I mumble and pick up my pocket knife that fell out of my shorts' pocket.
"Breath, Eddie." I take a few steps away from where the R+E is and start to carve out the initials.
Once I finish the last line of the R, I feel two hands on my shoulders, which causes me to flinch.
"Richie. I fucking hate you." I sigh disappointedly.
"Obviously you don't." He points to what I'm writing.
"Shut up." I warn.
"Hell no! Don't steal my moment like that." He scoffs.
"What moment?"
"Sorry— I'm having a mini panic attack right now." Richie laughs.
"Holy shit. Do you need my inhaler? I also have some pills for anxiety-"
"Eddie! I'm okay, really." He grins.
"Oh okay. Good." I sigh.
"I'm just really happy. That's all."
"Happy? What are you happy about??" I ask.
"Ugh. You're lucky you're cute. You would just be a dumbass if you weren't."
"Ouchie." I place a hand over my heart.
Richie points at the carved letters and grins widely.
"THIS makes me happy." He admits.
That was saying alot.
Richie was never happy. Obviously which is terrible and sad, but he would also never say when he was happy.
Why? I have no clue.
Richie has ALWAYS been one to hide his feelings from everyone.
Me and and Stan are pretty much the only people he trusts, but sometimes he doesn't even tell us things, let alone, tell us that he's happy.
"You're happy?" I grin widely.
"Yeah.." he trails off.
"What's wrong?"
"Um nothing? I just said that I was happy." Richie says.
"You sounded sad for a second."
"Eddie, Eds, I'm always sad. Nothing can really help with that." He laughs.
But I didn't think it was funny.
Once Richie noticed that I wasnt laughing at his joke, he awkwardly squirmed around on the ground.
Richie deserves much more than just happiness at this point.
What's another word for happy, but happier? Is that even a thing?
Richie should always been happy, not always sad.
"I wish you were happy more often." I caution.
"Me too." He sighs.
"You deserve lots of happiness Rich." I express.
I reach for one of his hands.
He gladly took my hand into his as he listed.
"Richie, you're an amazing person. I know you hide everything by making jokes, but the times you showed your true self, were the times that I enjoyed the most with you.. it's not fair that you have to be sad and depressed all of the time because of your dad. Im really really sorry."
He squeezes my hand and gives me a small smile.
"Thank you Eds." He sniffles.
I notice him trying to blink away the tears in his eyes.
"Richie, you can cry. It's okay."
I let go of his hand and hold out my arms. He immediately wraps his arms around my small figure.
I can feel tears running down my shirt and the sound of heavy breathing.
"It's okay.." I whisper. I rub the side of my thumb on his back and hold my other hand on top of his mop of hair.
We sit there for around 5 minutes before Richie says that he has to go or else his dad will be mad.
I understood and let him go, telling him to be careful.