Chapter I : Reminisce.
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G W E N
"Can you turn that off?" I hiss at my roommate, blasting Boy With Luv on her Bluetooth speaker. She gave you an odd look and only lowered the volume by one bar. "Did you not hear me the first time? I said turn that thing o-"
"I did," she cut me off and bore her sharp eyes onto mine. God, I keep forgetting how dangerous fangirls can be. "I respect your opinion to not like BTS but to keep me from dancing my heart out to them? Unbelievable!"
And there she goes again being dramatic, she went on and on about her love for the boy group as she dance to the stupid song and I had to sit through 2 minutes of it until I remember I have headphones. Rather expensive ones at that.
They should help block out the rapping voice of him. I lazily made my way to my room, gathering my textbooks and dumping them on my study table where my headphones conveniently sat.
I was about to put it on when Eunji made an appearance at my bedroom door, she looked really disturbed. "Got more to preach about your undying love for BTS?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes," she answered and I roll my eyes. "But that's not why I came here. I just wanna ask, why do you hate them so much?"
I don't hate them, I don't really hate anyone. Except maybe, him, but other than him? I don't do hate. Hate is such a strong word. I have nothing against the other members of the group who are innocent but him? I loathe him.
"I don't, they are just not my cup of tea when it comes to music," I shrug, and she left my room with a deeper frown. She seemed to buy my pathetic excuse and I'm hoping someday I will too. It's not easy fooling everyone around you with lies you can't make yourself believe.
After that, I wore my headphones and blasted away whatever music came up on my daily Spotify playlist. While I destroyed my eardrums, I began doing my homework at the same time. But even my difficult Calculus homework can't distract me.
It's been 5 years. 5 full years since he left me to go after his dreams, I could never resent him for deciding to do what he loves, he deserve every success he has now. But was it right to discard me? To throw me to the sides because he wasn't ready to try if he could have both?
I deserved better than that. He knew that. Yet he went ahead and broke my heart to pursue his passion. And that, I could never forgive.
~
South Korea is smaller than most people think, I can't believe I've ran into people I knew from grade school who happens to live in the other side of the country countless of times.
I walked down the narrow sidewalk with my hands inside my coat, it was a fairly cold August. The air was cold enough that it would prick any exposed skin lightly, like nibbling on a piece of candy yet not wanting to break it. Yet you could feel the warmth of the sun on your face, like standing close to the microwave but only enough to threaten to make you sweat.
It was perfect in my own opinion. A few more steps away is the cafe I always loved going to, the old woman who owns it was very nice and the staffs are lovely. They already know my order by heart but today, I feel like something great is gonna happen.
Something amazing is bound to happen and that pleasant feeling had me giddy, almost bouncing on my steps. But my smile quickly faded into nothing once I saw BTS displayed proudly on the large screen displayed for bystanders to see.
I bite the inside of my cheeks. How is it that he looks even more handsome than before? I shook my head to try and get rid of these absurd thoughts and went on my merry way to said cafe.
I went inside and fell in line to order, as much as I love special treatment for being a regular, I'm planning to order something different today. The two girls in front of me were being obnoxious, chattering too loudly. Destroying the calm and serene vibe of the cafe.
Involuntarily, I overheard everything they were saying. I sure wish I didn't.
"BTS is staying at a hotel somewhere, rumors has it,"
"Really? Should we go and check in?"
"There are like 14 luxurious hotels around,"
"Would be worth it if we run into them,"
Are they serious? Wasting money on staying over hotels just to run into some people who will probably forget about them the moment they walk away with a picture. I huff in annoyance and almost cheered when they ordered to-go coffees.
I didn't want them in this cafe any longer, the following conversations they had about someone name Jimin's abs had me gagging on the inside. The cafe had two registers, which meant two lines and as I waited for a cafe employee to return to the register to take my order, I noticed someone staring at me.
I turned and met eyes with cat-like ones, the rest of his face were hidden under a face mask and his hair is tucked inside a black cap. I tilt my head to the side, I feel like I know this person. I tried to scan his eyes, desperate to grasp any form of familiarity and maybe remember where I met him.
But Jihyoo finally came to get my order. "The usual, Gwen?" she asked and I shook my head. Her eyes widened at that but a smile still graced her ruby lips.
"I'll try something different today, how about a Vanilla Latte?" she nodded at me and went to prepare the drink. Having nothing else to do, I looked up and scanned the menu, maybe I should treat myself to a slice of raspberry cheesecake?
But all rational thoughts left my mind when I heard the person beside me in line spoke. It was quick and no one else would probably catch on but not me, I've heard that voice every single day 5 years ago. It would soothe me, calm me and even anger me.
"Americano, to-go," that was all he said to Eunha who left the register for a moment to prepare his drink. I felt my knees go weak.
5 years, and I finally get to see him again. But I knew I wasn't ready. I hated him for 5 years but even 5 years of resenting someone did not prepare me for when I would see him again. I said it myself, South Korea is smaller than most people think.
And maybe so is the world.
Because after 5 years of being apart, with the universe tormenting me because I wasn't his first choice, I was lead right back to him. Thankfully, Jihyoo came back with my order and I have never snatched a drink away so fast.
She did not mind though, even chuckling at my hurry. I payed her and waved goodbye, even spotting Grandma sitting in one of the tables in the cafe. I am hurrying to get out but I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye to grandma.
"Halmoni," I greeted her and bowed, she gave me a kind smile in return. "I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry. Have a lovely day!"
With that, I dashed out of there and I felt safe. I could breathe again, I could feel the cold air fill my lungs and as much as they hurt, seeing him again back there hurt more. I knew I was in the safe, he probably wouldn't recognize me anymore but I still hurried in my steps to enter the nearest convenience store.
I ended up in one, once I turned a left 2 blocks away from the cafe. I grabbed cookies in packets and payed for them, I sat inside on one of the high schools with a perfect view outside.
Why did I even leave my house?
As I gulp down my hot drink, I felt someone's presence beside me. I didn't bother to greet them, I'm not one to be a social butterfly and so when the person shifted in their seat, only then did I turn.
I'm starting to regret a lot of decisions today.
"Gwen, how have you been?" He greeted, pulling at his mask to take it off and smiled at me.
"Yoongi," I mumbled, his name leaving a bitter taste to my mouth.
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