The next morning I woke up around noon. The sun welcomed it's self in my room, making everything shine brightly, causing a squint a little due to the large brighteness. I smiled into my white soft blanket that draped over my body, snuggling my body around in it.
I streched over and reached for my phone that layed still on the little coffee table beside my bed. Millions of messages from twitter and regular messages appeared on the screen. I slowly scrolled by each of them.
Unknown number•Good morning Jasey Rae (: x
Unknown number• Jasey Rae please get your arse up I am terribly bored.
Unknown number• JASEY. Your killing me here.
Maria• hi love big. I miss you grately.
Twitter
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You have 768 new followers.
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@LukisinmyBed__
Saw you last night and threw up in my own mouth..
@5sosbaesss
Your oh so cute ^~^ love hearing you voice last night!!!
@jazabellaa4567
Lol. Your ugly bro. Your hairs nice though..
@secondsofsummeeeercx
LUKES MINE. SO IS ASH. FUCK OFF YOUR DUMB CUNT.
oh so at least their was one nice message. I decided to reply to Luke and my long last friend Maria.
Me• oops sorry hi (:
Me- Aw Maria I miss you much x
I continued to scroll down the hate from my twitter and drowned deeper in my sorrow. Stop it Jasey. Stop it. My eyes didn't want to stop reading, they were thriving to read every message. I couldn't controle them. It was like they want me to be hurt. After reading the last tweet that seemed to hit the boiling point, I let a little tear glide down my cheek slowly before wipeing it away. I don't deserve it. I keep telling myself. I don't desvere the hate. I continued to tell myself that it's okay but I do guess that it didn't help because all I wanted to do was slice the scars and fresh skin that was on my wrist and I did as so.
My feet hit the cold ground of the bathroom. I pulled a little blade from a eyeliner sharper, and held it in my hand for awhile. Asking myself if I really wanted to do this. But I did. I wanted to feel the pain. I wanted to feel everything and just let all I was hearing all I was seeing out and onto my wrist. I took that terrorizing silver blade and placed it to my wrist. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. 10 more were added. And I sat with nothing in my eyes and watched the blood slowly slip down pale my wrist onto the ground. Watching the blood pour out of my cuts. Every comment people said hurt. Hurt like pouring salts in a fresh wound. Hurt like stabbing yourself mutiple times untill you couldn't feel anything but numbness and death.
"Jasey? Jasey you here." A voice shouted from inside. A voice I recognized.
"Shit." I whispered to myself panicking around the small tight bathroom.
"Uh. Just a minute." I called. I grabbed a rag and cleaned up the access blood on the floor and on my wrist. I threw the rag under the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair stood up and all places like I just woke up. My eyes were stained red from tears. I look like shit.
I opened the door to seeing Ashton.
"Hi love." He smiled and embraced me into a warm filling hug.
"Hi ash."
"You okay?" He asked looking into my eyes. I nodded slightly and looked away from his eyes before he saw them tearing up.
"Nice outfit." He smiled cheekily. I looked down at the overly large shirt I was just wearing. I blushed and apologized.
He headed over to the bed and sat down, flipping threw his phone, while I walked over to the kitchen.
"Anything you want to drink?" He looked up for a minute and shook his head slightly before returning to his phone.
I grabbed myself a cup of ice and water and chugged it down as if I haven't drank in years. And that's exactly what it felt like.
"You want to go out tonight? With the mates and I?" He asked getting up from the bed and heading towards me.
"Sure, where too?" I asked.
"Mmmmmm mall? " he suggested.
"I'll get ready than." I walked over to the closet were I placed my belongs and pulled out a nirvana shirt and blue skinny jeans and my black vans. I went over to the bathroom but turned around to see Ashton still here.
"Ashton you can go.." I suggested.
"I'll wait for you." He laughed. I rolled my eyes playfully and quickly changed, did my make and hair as I aways do every morning.
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We walked back to the boys room, talking a small talk about little things.
I noticed more about Ashton. Much more before I met him. I noticed the kindness in his voice, the gental ness and his beautiful features of his face. He seem to care much. And that made me brighten inside.
When we walked into the house, we walked into the boys jumping on the bed screaming,
"OHHHHHHH" and tackling Luke on the bed. I stared at Ashton with a questioning look but it seemed he didn't know either what was going on exactly.
"MATE LOOK AT THIS." Michael shouted, snatching Luke phone from his hand and rushing towards Ashton, pushing the phone into his face. I watched Ashton's eyes, swing left to right, right to left, left to right, like he was reading something. A smile slowly glided across his face and when he finished and yelled over to Luke,
"NOW THATS HOW PICK UP A GIRL." And so I soon catched on Luke must have said something to a girl? A girl he liked. Something inside me made me feel a bit angry. What am I saying? I barely know him. Yes as a idol and a memeber of 5sos, but as a individual, as just Luke Hemmings, I really didn't know much.
"What's her name?" Ashton asked.
"Marilyn." He blushed.
"Invite her to come!!" Calum suggested.
And so I stood their for countless minutes, unnoticed by the rest of the boys, due to the fact that they were to busy drowning their faces in Luke's new 'girlfriend' or so that's what they say. I leanded against the kitchen counter and played with my fingers, and suddenly noticed my cuts were in the open for everyone to see. I panicked inside thinking of what to do. The only think I could do was kindly ask Ash if he had any long sleeved shirts or smiply a sweat shirt I could use.
"Ash." I said, pulling him out of a conversation he was indulged in, and asked
"May I borrow a sweat shirt ? It a little cold." My voice spoke softly and quietly.
He gave off a tiny smile and walked to his closet pullin out a dark gray sweat shirt. I gentally grabbed the sweatshirt from his hands and thanked him.
"It's a little big" I giggled twirling around.
"Looks better on you than it does on me. "
"Bullshit Irwin!!" He laughed and brought himself closer towards me. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer towards him. I hestanily backed away from his grip, but he kept me tight. His eyes looked at me left and right, I felt his warm breath on my skin and couldn't help to not take my eyes off of him.
"You know Your perfect." He whispered. I looked down and shook my head.
"Ash. Their nothing perfect about me. I'm filled with flaws inside and out. No question about it." He didn't seem to take his eyes off me. His eyes seemed curiouse like they were asking for a reason for what my flaws all were.
"I don't see any." He asks.
"And if you did see flaws I'm disappointed in causing than you'd think of me completely different and wouldn't dare to call me perfect." He looked down finally releasing his eyes off of me and pulled his hands away. The warmness dissapeared quickly. And I craved for it back.
"Jasey..." His voice trailed off looking around the room and than back at me,
"What are your flaws. I mean what flaws did you cause yourself?" I think he knew what I was talking about. Maybe what I said was a bit too much of a hint.
"Ashton.. It's..it's not anything important." I sighed shaking my head.
"Jasey Rae. Tell me now." I bit my lip hard, waiting for a cut to appear and trace the inside of my mouth with blood. But nothing happened. I slowly pulled the sleeve up, and closed my eyes not wanting to see his expression. I heard a heavy breath and felt a finger trace the cuts that embordered my skin.
"Jasey.." He sighed. I opened my eyes and looked into his concerning ones. Than down at the marks on my wrist. They were gross looking. Deep and red. As if it was a wound from a knife. He pulled my sleeve down and shook his head,
"Why." My throat clogged up and I shook. Why?. Their are so many reasons why. Ashton I'm a fucking flaw running around looking for a better life. Ashton I'm a fucking mess living a world of regret and mistakes.
His thumb caressed my cheek and whipped away the running tears, and pulled me into a hug. Not no 5 second hug. But a hug that was longer than 3 minutes. And so I stood their like a mess, crying into his shoulder.
"Jasey... I still think your perfect. Nothing can change my mind. Not even the marks on your skin."
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We walked out of the room and all the boys attention turned toward us. I guess they finally notice I was here.
"Ashton and Jasey? In a room for more than 30 mins? " Ashton's eyes widened and repeated "no,no,no, no , no, no, NO" millions of times and the everyone laughed. Everyone but Luke. I sat their starring at me. Like.. Like he was mad at me or something. Why would he be mad? Mad at me for being with Ashton for a while? Because if so than I don't understand. It's not like he has feelings for me. He has his so call 'girlfriend'.
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authors note:
Hi darlings c:
Sososoososoos this was okay I guess cx
But later on in the story Ash and Jasey do end up dating0.o buuuuut later later on Jasey and Luke possibly may turn into something (: and that's all I'm going to say just to clear the air so you know what will be going on later in on the story