I have never been this nervous since the day of my wedding. My hands were drenched in sweat. Anticipation crept up inside as I paced back and forth. I knew I had this feeling since the day after we stepped off of the cruise ship two weeks ago. Finally it was time to check the lookalike thermometer sitting on my sink. I walked over to the counter, then picked up the stick. Negative. Huh, strange. I have all the symptoms, yet there's a clear as day minus sign stretched across the small window. I abruptly snatched the pregnancy test off the counter, then threw it angrily in the trash. In a way I was disappointed, however I was somewhat relieved. We just celebrated our one year of marital bliss two weeks ago. Although Jeddie and I want a family, we should spend some alone time together before we start building. I sighed at my conflicted feelings, then left out the bathroom to start dinner.
I began to study for my upcoming finals, when that over queasiness started up again. This was a very important exam, and I needed to ace it if I was going to grab my bachelors in Atmospheric Science. As I buried my head inside my book, an overly tired sensation overcame me. I'm not pregnant, so why am I so tired? Why am I so nauseous? The realization finally hit that I was nervous about graduating college, and this has got to be the reason I'm feeling the way I have. Yeah, that's it. I got up to head to the kitchen, and turn the crockpot on low, so I can go to bed. I'm really not feeling up to do anything today, and I just need to relax and sleep.
In four weeks time, me and Jeddie's graduation day has finally come, yet I became more and more sick by the day. He decided to follow in his father's footsteps by earning his bachelors in engineering, whilst I follow my dream as a meteorologist. Usually, waking up in the morning would be absolute bliss, however today, not so much. Today I'm really struggling to get out of bed, until a familiar sensation pressed against the back of my neck encouraged me to get my head in gear. He pulled me close to his abs, then proceeded to kiss my spot until I jumped out of bed, racing to the bathroom. That didn't stop him from following me in. As I began to wash my face, he crept up behind me and spun me around to face him. My face was full of soap, however he still decided to spread my legs apart and give me morning delight. With the toothbrush in one hand and toothpaste in the other, he continued on giving me pleasure while I'm trying to brush my teeth. "Come on Jeddie, we gotta get ready for graduation," I moaned. He ignored my plea, and continued on assaulting my zone. My nervousness came creeping around the corner, causing me to release our red beans and rice dinner from last night all over his freshly cut hair. But do you think that stopped him? He got up from off his knees, then unbuttoned my nightshirt that I was wearing, and pulled it down. He then picked me up and wrapped my legs around him causing our socket to extension cord connection, and carried me to the shower. The flow of the water caused the food chunks to flow completely out of his hair. With my body pressed firmly against the walls of the shower, I grabbed his shampoo from the caddy and proceeded to lather his head. While he's drilling my kitty, I continue to scrub his hair to get the smell of spew out of his waves. This man had pure talent; every girl's husband should possess this gift. I held on for dear life as he made one final powerful thrust, signaling the end of our mind blowing powerful session. However, after he pulled out, I became weaker than I was before. I'm sorry, but now, I definitely can't make it to graduation.
I tumbled against him, after he put me down, causing us both to lose balance. "Baby, are you ok?" he asked. "You don't look well Lina." I placed my hand over my forehead and shook my head. "Jeddie, I was really trying hard to make it, but I'm honestly too sick to walk across a stage," I said. "Look at what happened earlier. Imagine if that happened while I'm grabbing my diploma." He gave a sorrowful sigh, then proceeded to wash me up, then carried me to our bed, tucked me in, then headed back to the bathroom.
What a disappointment. I had family and friends coming down for this event, including Libby and Junior. I'm definitely gonna have to go to the doctor's now. I've been sick like this for a whole four weeks. I've been ruled out pregnancy six weeks ago when I had a negative result on the test. So what could it be? I can't be bothered to go today; I got a graduation party to take care of later in the day. He stepped out of the bathroom, all glistening and oiled up. Just looking at the water drops all over his back did absolutely nothing to help my overly raging hormones. As I watched him putting on his boxers and undershirt, I became more heated with hornitude, however I'm too sick to even think about taking care of my sexual needs. He then proceeded to climb back in bed and wrap his arms around me, burying his head into the side of my neck. "Um, what do think you're doing Sir?" I said in a sassy manner. I held my hand up toward his face in a halting stance, holding my head up with my eyebrow arched up. He perched himself upward onto his elbow, and peered into my eyes. "I'm staying home, and taking care of my wife," he replied with his arms folded. I returned the gesture, mirroring his expressions, then gave off a authoritative glare. "No in the Flaming Hot Cheetos you ain't!" I retorted. "It doesn't make sense for both of us to miss graduation, especially since you got a job already lined up," I reminded him. "Man, bump that," he cross-examined. "I need to be here and take care of you." I pulled him close to my lips, then hungrily kissed him. "You go to graduation, and later on, when I'm feeling better, I'll take good care of you," I whispered against his lips. Defeated, he got up from underneath the covers, then proceeded to get dressed. I buried my head underneath the covers, so I didn't have to look at him. I overheard him talking on the phone with someone, telling them my situation, and asking them to look after me. Must be my mommy. "Baby, I just told your mom what's going on with you, and she said she'll check on you later on," he said. He then walked over to me, kissed me on my forehead, then placed his hand on my belly. "See you later, Love." Huh. Weird. After he left the room, I got under the covers after the strange encounter and went straight to sleep.
Here I am, alone and miserable. My body temperature was raising to the equivalency of a sauna. Mommy said her, Tee Audrey, and Tee Nivey will be over soon to check on me. I absolutely hate this feeling of codependency. I'm an adult; I'm not supposed to rely on Mommy and Daddy anymore. I dragged myself to the living room with my Snuggie and one of my favorite novels, Love Lost by K. M, Brown, and plopped right on the couch. About halfway into the latest chapter, I felt a sense of urgency battling its way full force, begging me to let him out. My body was too weak to run, but I managed to get up. But soon as I got up from the sofa, my doorbell rang. Great. I gotta pee, plus someone's at the door. I know it's not my mom, cause she has a key to get in. I quickly realized who it was and dragged myself to the door. She stood at the door with an unrecognizable stature, a stature that Junior couldn't even repair. "Hello?" Junior said, waving his hand rapidly in my face. "You lost or something?"
"My bad, come in," I motioned for them to come in. Junior grabbed Libby's hand almost guiding her in, as if she was a baby learning to walk. I dragged myself to the middle of my living room, welcoming them into my home because I still had to pee. "Make yourself at home," I said as I started walking off. "Um, I thought we were all leaving together," he shrugged. "Where's Jed?" She leaned her head against his chest, with an, I don't care about anything vibe. "And more importantly, why aren't you dressed?" Libby added. I shut my eyes, bringing my hand to my head and sighed. "I gotta pee," I said, practically begging them to let me go. "Go pee, Yang," she said waving her hand off. I walked off, leaving them dumbfounded.
As I was washing my hands, I noticed Libby standing in the doorway of my bathroom. "Is everything okay?" she asked. "You were so excited about graduating college, and now you're acting like you're over it."
"I should ask the same about you, Yin," I replied. "I know you're still grieving over Aunt Meg, but I know you. Eventually, you would've snapped back to your normal self, not your normal self, but you get what I'm saying." She brought her chestnut eyes to the ceiling, almost filling up with water, then collected herself as she dusted herself off. "So, did you oversleep?" she completely ignored me.
"Abigail Denise Williams, Soon To Be Evans!"I boomed. "We're not leaving this room until you tell me what's up!"
"My mom just died, what do you expect?!" she snapped.
I got in her face, tossing my hands in the air. "Yeah, but I keep telling you it wasn't your fault!"
"It doesn't matter how many times you say it, I'm never gonna forgive myself," she said with her head hung low. I glanced at her and studied her demeanor. Na, something else is up with her, but if she doesn't wanna open up, I'm not gonna pry. I have my own issues to deal with, mainly the fact I may be dying.
"She was so sweet, although dramatic, but she suffered so much," she cried. "All she wanted what was best for me, but all I did was add on to her suffering."
"Yin, I know you're hurting, but there's something else that's bothering you, and your grief is covering it up," I challenged. "But, if you don't want to tell me it's cool. You know me. I'm not gonna keep trying to get it out you, until you decide to fess up."
"I told you, that's all it is," she said. Yeah right. I gave a defeated sigh, then proceeded to walk out to the living room, but my mission came to a halt when I once again threw up. My sister quickly came to my regurgitation, and grabbed my hair holding it up. "So what's this?" she said, waving her hand in circles.
"I think I caught a mysterious disease when I was away for my anniversary, and now I'm gonna die," I said while the last of my throw up left my body.
"Yeah, and you're gonna meet it in seven months too," she chuckled, lightly. "Talkin bout you dying. You sound just like my mom."
"I thought that what it was, but the test was negative," I confessed.
"When did you take it?" she shrugged.
"Almost three weeks after we got back," I explained. "I missed my scheduled period and so I took one at home. I got the one that can tell right away, verses the one that you have to wait for a month."
"It may have been too early," she replied. "You might need to get another one, or call your grandmother."
"No, I'm leaving this world," I sighed.
"Take me with you," she mumbled. "But seriously, you need to take another test to be sure."
I threw a tantrum, stomping my feet and bringing my arms down violently. "I don't wanna go anywhere!" I said as I folded my arms mimicking a small child.
"That's how the baby's gonna do you when it gets here," she said in a singsong manner. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out my bedroom as I whined about. When we got to the living room, Junior was occupying his time playing Madden. "We're going to the store to get some lady stuff,"she informed him. "Want anything?"
"Na, I'm good. What happened to graduation?" he asked.
"Guess it's up to Yang," she said. "Are you still going, or are we coming back here to see what's up?"
"I just wanna lay in my bed," I sang, quoting Bruno Mars.
"So, are you staying here until we get back, or do you want us to drop you off at Zay's house?" she asked.
"I'll go back to Zay's," he answered frowning. "I don't need to be around that stuff no way."
"Alright, let's go," she said dragging me behind her. I continued on whining as we made our way to the elevators. "Lemme lone!" I cried.
"Ugh, I gotta deal with this for seven months," she said rolling her eyes.
"I keep telling you, I'm not pregnant, I'm dying!" I exclaimed, jerking my hand out of her grip but to no avail. Junior's just standing there, with his goofy looking self just laughing it up at my soon to be demise. And here, I thought he loved me.
Here I am, in this very same situation six weeks ago, anticipation flooding my veins. Libby is convinced that I'm pregnant, however I'm not sold. It was however peculiar that Jed touched my stomach this morning, but I'm not telling her about that. She'll have a field day with it. "Um, are you ready to take a peek?" she said, pointing to the counter with her head. "I told you, I'm not pregnant," I said, as I reluctantly walked to my sink. I picked up the digital stick, then almost passed out. An invisible body must've been right behind me, or else I would've fell right on my butt. "Told you so, told you so," she teased, while tilting her head side to side. She continued on taunting me, rocking her hips from side to side, as I stared blankly at the test. Wow. I'm gonna be a mom. Jed and I are about to be parents. Next year there will be a permanent resident moving in with us. "So now since we ruled out death, again, what are we doing about graduation?" she questioned while twirling her hair. "We still have thirty minutes before the ceremony." I was still in a trance staring at the stick, quiet as a mouse, still processing this little life inside of me. "Yang, uh, you need to sit down? Do you wanna go?" she asked in a concerning manner. "Uh, yeah yeah, just bring me my dress, shoes, and cap and gown," I said dryly, still in a daze at the test. Libby brought my clothes to me, along with my cap and gown, and some crackers and a ginger ale she had already. Weird. Why would she have crackers and ginger ale just conveniently on her? Then it hit me. Libby's pregnant too! It must be hard on her given the fact that Aunt Meg is not with us anymore, which is why she's so distraught. I won't dare bring it up though, unless she mentions it to me first. I'm so excited for her and Junior, and I'm ecstatic that I get to share this experience with my best friend. I placed my hair in a neat messy bun, because I didn't have time to flatiron my hair, put on some mascara and a little bit of lip gloss, then put on my diamond earrings Jeddie bought me as a graduation present. I gargled my mouth with some Listerine, then headed out the bathroom.
I grabbed my dress Daddy bought me, and hurriedly put it on, along with my heels. Giving up heels will be a breeze for me, because I'm not so much a fashionista like my mom and sister. I only dress up for the occasion. Give me some baggy shorts and oversized tee, and I'm good. This pregnancy's gonna be breezy. Libby walked in, while staring at her phone, not paying attention to where she was going. "You ready, Mama?" she said looking up from her phone. "Did you call everyone and told them I'm coming?" I asked. "Yeah I did, and Aunt Lania and Lexy said they already knew," she chuckled. My mom and sister and their instincts, I tell ya. I placed my motarboard onto my head, then left my bedroom, heading to part one of my new life.
When we arrived at the auditorium, the guest speaker, our forty-forth president of the United States, had just finished his public address. I texted Jeddie earlier in Libby's car telling him to save me a seat. I successfully pulled off a power walk down the aisle, making sure not to trip and fall and injure my child. As I scooted in front of Brenda Hutchinson, a trick whose been giving me trouble since the day I stepped foot on these university grounds, Jeddie stood up, reaching over to help me to my seat. Darrell Hayes, a guy who has the same major as me, assisted me to my waiting husband. I finally made it to my seat, still kinda weak and queasy, but that's normal, ain't it, Norman? Finally the college president, Dean Nancy Parker, announced that the handing out diplomas, was about to begin. "Students majoring in Mechanical Engineering, please stand."she announced. The Graduate Marshall instructed Jeddie and the rest of the graduates to stand and make their way to the stage. The dean proceeded to call out the names of everyone in that field. It seemed like forever waiting on Jeddie's name to come up. "Jedediah Johnson," the dean finally called. I yelled as loud as I can. "I love you, Jeddie!" I screamed. Jeddie blew a kiss at me as he walked up to the stage to receive his diploma. After he received his certificate, he whispered something to the dean, then she handed him the microphone. "Uh, I'm not giving a speech," he began. " It's just that my wife handed me an envelope, and she wanted me to open it on stage." As Jed opened the envelope, the dean's expression beamed with joy. The other students were giving him congratulations and patting his back. He looked like he was about to break down, so the dean grabbed the mike. "Patrons, students," she announced, "Mister Johnson has just gotten some wonderful news that will keep him motivated in his new career! Ladies and gentlemen, Jedediah and his wife, Delani Johnson who is majoring in Atmospheric Science, are expecting a new addition to their family!" The crowd went wild as she announced our bundle of joy. I can just imagine my family and his family's faces now. Daddy making bets with Uncle Q, and Mama and Tee Meli, giving high fives. I walked up to the end of the stage, waiting for him at the end. He met me at the bottom of the stage, greeting me with an emotional and mind blowing lip-lock. Our celebratory lip exchange ended with him whispering these words against my lips, "I already had a feeling, but wasn't sure." I guess it's true; dad is always the first to know.