J
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Weeks.
Two weeks since we left Paris.
One week since the last time Chaeyoung contacted me. She has been dodging my calls and my messages and it’s frustrating me so much I can no longer contain it.
Jisoo tried to reason out saying that everything is fine. She may have already provided me a thousand reasons and excuses but no, I can’t bring myself to believe that everything is okay.
I have no patience left in my body and I badly needed to see Lisa.
336 hours without her feels like years of agony to me.
An idea slowly creeps into my mind but I tried to push it away.
What if she did remember me from three years ago?
Maybe she figured it out and felt disgusted.
A tear escaped my eye which I quickly wiped using the back of my hand but I fear that my hunch is correct.
Please let it be a mistake.
“Jennie?” Jisoo calls out snapping me out from my misery.
“You okay?” she asks and I nod at her.
“Unnie, what if she remembers? Maybe she actually did so she decided to stay away. What if she didn’t remember me again? What will happen now?”
Series of questions came out of my mouth and Jisoo remained calm while trying her best to calm me down.
We decided to eat out today – no let me rephrase that, Jisoo dragged me out of my apartment to eat outside because I have been locking myself in my bedroom.
“You need to eat Jendeuk. Lisa will be back, stop thinking too much. You’ve been stressed lately”
I didn’t answer and tried to bring the fork in my mouth.
The food that Jisoo ordered is great, it was actually my favorite but I really wasn’t in the mood to eat. My mind is shifting back to Lisa and the possibilities of her remembering me three years ago or her forgetting all about me again. My stomach churns at the thought and I feel my heart dropping.
“Have you tried visiting her in the office?” Jisoo asks and I tilt my head to one side.
The idea crossed my mind three days ago, but I was scared.
Scared that she might push me away or maybe embarrass myself because she no longer recognizes me.
I lied and shake my head to Jisoo. She puts her finger to her chin and nods slowly.
“Then let’s go there!” She says happily, as if she just solved my problem.
But little did she know, I was nervous. I was scared.
“We don’t even know if they’re already here in Seoul” I mumble to myself, trying to think of an excuse which may actually be true but Jisoo’s response made me upset and downhearted.
“No, they arrived yesterday! I messaged Chaeyoung and she replied back” Jisoo shrugs her shoulder innocently.
I was baffled, I felt betrayed but it wasn’t Jisoo’s fault.
I never mentioned to her that Chaeyoung stopped messaging me and dodged all my attempts to contact her.
“Earth to Jennie” Jisoo snaps her fingers in front of me. I didn’t know how long I was staring blankly into space.
“Do you want to go or not?” she raises her perfectly trimmed eyebrow with a chicken in her mouth.
I bite my lower lip and cast my head down.
But Jisoo being my bestfriend for years, she already memorized everything about me –
and that includes my reactions.
“I will go with you Jendeuk, I’ll be there” She says making me heave a sigh.
She searched the answer in my eyes and I nod at her.
“Great!” She cheerfully says but shifts into a scolding mother in a nanosecond. “Now eat Jendeuk or I will shove that chicken in your mouth”
~
Frozen, I stood in the spacious lobby of Manoban Group while Jisoo speaks with the lady at the front desk.
“Hi, I’m here to see Chaeyoung” Jisoo says but the lady in the front desk stared at her with a questioning look.
“I’m sorry but what department does she work in?” the lady asks.
“She’s the CEO’s secretary” Jisoo smiles but the lady frowns.
“I’m sorry but that’s not the name of her secretary. I think you’re in the wrong building ma’am. This is Manoban Group, maybe you’re supposed to be in that building? “ the lady points to the building in the other side of the street.
“No no! I’m sure that we are on the right building” Jisoo points out but the lady only narrowed her eyes. Jisoo gave her a sharp look and pouted her lips as if challenging the lady in the front desk.
The two began a staring contest and I roll my eyes at Jisoo’s childishness.
“Roseanne Park, we’re here for Roseanne Park” I intervened and the lady smiled.
“Yes, Ms. Park”
Jisoo shoots me a look and I raise an eyebrow.
“May I know your name please?” the lady asks while holding the phone to her ear.
“Jisoo, please tell her Jisoo is here to see her” I answer and she started dialing on the phone.
She speaks over the phone for a few seconds and ended the call with a smile plastered on her lips.
“Ms. Park said you may go directly to her office.”
My heart raced and my mind went crazy.
I wanted to run, I wanted to escape.
I miss Lisa so bad that I’m hurting on the inside.
But I’m scared –
I’m scared to know the reason why she hasn’t contacted me when she’s already here in Seoul.
“Jendeuk let’s go” Jisoo looks at me in the eye and I’m pretty sure that she sees through me.
“Relax, everything will be okay.” She holds my hand and gently pulls me to the elevator.
Stop being such a weakling Jennie and face the truth.
I scold myself.
With a sharp intake of breath, I prepared myself for the worst.
I need to be.
I know I’m stronger than this.
I managed to get back up and live a better life despite Lisa breaking her promise three years ago.
But she had faced depression and accidentally forgotten about you!
My heart tried to justify her disappearance making me fall back to the beginning –
Weak and vulnerable Jennie.
Ting!
The elevator door swings open revealing a happy Chaeyoung waiting by the hallway.
She wasn’t aware of my presence because as soon as her eyes landed on mine, her smile falls down and her head hangs low.
“Hey Chaeng!” Jisoo waves at her, clueless of what’s happening.
“H-Hi” Chaeyoung smiles awkwardly at her and averts her eyes from mine.
“We’re here to visit Lisa. Is she back?” Jisoo asks, still clueless of the tension building around us.
Chaeyoung glances back at me nervously.
“She, uhm – “ she starts to stutter.
“Can we talk Chaeyoung?” I cut her off.
She bites her lower lip and stares at the floor while fidgeting over the hem of her blouse.
I rolled my eyes and started to walk past her. Marching towards Lisa’s office, Chaeyoung trails behind me in a hurry.
“Unnie stop!” She shouts as she reaches and grabs my wrist.
“Yah! What the hell is happening?” Jisoo asks and I yank my wrists from Chaeyoung’s grip.
I pushed the heavy doors open only to be welcomed by an empty space.
“Lisa’s not here” Chaeyoung whispers making me snap at her.
“Then where the hell is she?!”
Chaeyoung didn’t answer and kept her mouth shut.
“Why Chaeng?! Why did you stop sending me updates?! Why won’t you answer my calls?!”
Jisoo’s eyes widen at the revelation and I see tears brimming from the corner of Chaeyoungs eyes.
“Answer me Chaeng! I need to know – “ my voice cracked at the end.
“Please” I say, almost inaudible.
Tears threatening to fall, I swallowed the lump in my throat. The office was empty.
I glance at the desk and an image of Lisa sitting at her swivel chair with that loft-sided smirk that I love appears. My heart ached as the image slowly blurs and fades away after a few seconds.
The couch caught my eye and I saw us, me straddling her lap as we make out with her hands tied above her head. But just like the first image, it disappeared in a fraction of a second.
“Unnie, please.” Chaeyoung reaches for my hands, she was trembling and a tear started to fall down her angelic face.
“Did she forget about me?” I ask but Chaeyoung didn’t answer.
“Did she remember everything?”
“Please, I need to know” the words came out as a whisper and I immediately felt Jisoo’s hands pulling me away from Chaeyoung whose at a loss for words.
She dragged me out of the building but I was too numb to feel anything at that moment.
Thoughts clouded my mind and I had no idea how to control them.
I feel like exploding.
My emotions are flying into pieces, and I feel like detonating.
“Jendeuk, snap out of it” Jisoo says but right there and then, I broke down.
I melted into Jisoo’s arms and let the tears that I held run down endlessly.
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AN: sorry to keep you waiting guys! I was busy at work but here you go!