A/n: hello, you gorgey huns. You know I adore all of you and enjoy reading your comments. Seeing people's reactions to the chapters is one of my favorite parts of writing this story. But, tbh, some comments have been making me feel a bit uncomfortable recently. Think twice before you hit send. If you were expecting a book full of nothing but fluff, then this isn't the story for you.
I suggest we all chill out. I know people get attached to stories they like, including me with some other stories on this app, and it's easy to get carried away. But please, you are choosing to read this story. If you don't like it, don't read it. As simple as that. Like I said, I love your comments. They're literally what motivates me to write. Feel welcome to spam the shit out of this fanfic. But just don't be mean (@LMandDemiTrash has promised to personally take care of you if you will. I'd be scared if I were you). Thank you♡
December 13, 2015
Perrie was never this nervous about talking to her mother before. She is sitting on the couch in Debbie's living room, and next to her feet are a few boxes she forgot to bring to her house when she moved a month ago. Perrie bought her mother an early Christmas present, a hoverboard, because she will be spending the holiday with her father. She is planning to give it to Debbie when her cousin Ellie comes, which is not supposed to be long now, so Ellie can enjoy it as well.
Debbie enters the living room from the kitchen with two cups of tea in her hands. She hands one to Perrie, then sits next to her daughter on the couch.
"How are you doing, pet?" Debbie asks in warm tone. They have always been close, but Perrie has been avoiding her since telling her about Jade.
"I'm okay," Perrie replies. She does not have a lot of time alone with her mother before Ellie comes, so she would rather not waste it on talking about anything other than what she needs to talk about - her relationship with Jade. "I'm sorry about that day, mum, when I got out of the car before you had the chance to say anything. I was just panicking, because this is very personal, and I wasn't really planning on telling you that day, but it just happened... And yeah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran away like that. If you want to talk about it now, that's okay. I want to know how you feel about this."
Both women knew this conversation was coming, but they still struggle to find the right words to say. Debbie has spent the last month wondering when did her relationship with her daughter turn so distant that Perrie did not feel like she could tell her about something so big.
"Honey, I understand that it was something that was hard for you to deal with. I don't blame you for leaving the car like that, but... it's been a whole month since then, and you haven't shared anything with me yet," Debbie says after a long pause. Perrie takes a sip from her drink in order to earn some time before answering.
"What do you want to know?" She asks. Every word is choking her, and she hopes that she does not appear as stressed as she feels. She is embarrassed, even though she knows she has no reason to be. Perrie used to share with her mother a lot about her past relationships, and would consult with her, but this feels different. What she has with Jade is so fragile, she is afraid that saying too much about it will break it.
"Well, I..." Debbie begins with a quiet voice. She decides to start with a neutral question, one that involves facts and not feelings, so that Perrie will be able to answer it easily. "When did it start?" Perrie's cheeks are painted a faint shade of pink, and she takes a deep breath and holds it in before she speaks.
"Almost three months ago," she simply replies. She does not want to share any more than that, especially not about how Jade and her were all over each other only a few days after Perrie's break up with Zayn. This is the kind of information she would discuss with her friends, but not with her mother. Debbie would be shocked to hear that Perrie moved on so fast.
Debbie asks more questions Perrie is not too excited to answer but does so anyway. It is not as bad as Perrie initially thought it would be, but it is definitely not a pleasant conversation. More than everything, Debbie seems hurt about the fact that Perrie did not share everything with her up until now.
"You worried me that day when you told me, because of how nervous you were, and the way you acted," Debbie says when she feels like enough of her questions were answered for now. "So I hope you don't mind, but I called Norma to ask her what she knows about this, and-"
"You called Jade's mum?" Perrie asks in disbelief. She corrects herself now; this conversation is worse than she thought it would be. She knows that if Jade and Norma would have talked about Perrie, Jade would have told Perrie that. So that means Jade does not know that her mother is aware of her and Perrie's relationship. "Do you understand how bad that is? Jade should have told her mum herself! You don't have the right to do that for her!" Perrie is trying very hard to remain calm, but it is impossible because of how afraid she is that Jade is going to lose it when she finds out.
"I'm sorry, petal. I didn't know it was a secret, I-" Debbie tries explaining, but Perrie cuts her off again.
"Well, it is! You can't just tell people about this!" Perrie exclaims, though she feels bad for her tone once she sees the apologizing look in her mother's eyes. "It's different than it was with Zayn, or with Adam, or with anyone else, mum. Jade and I can't have people knowing about this. Who we choose to tell - that's supposed to be our choice. Jade would have told her mum eventually, but she should have been the one to do it. And I'm only this angry because I'm scared that Jade's going to freak out. So I'm going to call her now, and I'm going to break the news to her. I hope she doesn't get too upset about this."
"Tell her that I'm sorry," Debbie says as Perrie stands up with her phone in her hand. "I used to do this with Jonnie and you all the time in the past. You wouldn't always tell me what's going on with you, or where you were going, so I'd speak to your friends' parents, and most of the time, they were just as worried as I was."
"I'm an adult now, mum. I don't need you to worry about me this much anymore," Perrie says, although she feels bad. Her mother had only good intentions, yet she managed to screw things up. "But thank you for trying to help, I guess. I'll tell her that you didn't mean to do anything to hurt her, but she probably already knows that." Perrie sends her mother a small smile before she goes up the stairs to her old bedroom. She sits on the bed and calls Jade.
"Hi," Perrie says after Jade picks up.
"Hi," Jade replies. Perrie can tell that she is happy just by the way she said this one word. It makes a smile appear on her face.
"How's your day?" Perrie softly asks. Every bit of anger has disappeared from her body. When she is talking to Jade, all she can think of is Jade and how much she adores her.
"It's good. I'm just home with Danielle. she's got a day off and we're catching up," Jade replies. "How about you?"
"I'm in South Shields, at my mum's. We finally talked about everything, and... yeah. It was okay, until she told me that she, um... She talked to your mum and told her about us." There is a long silence on the other end of the phone, and Perrie gets more worried with every second that passes.
"Then I guess I should call my mum now," Jade finally says. She definitely sounds upset, but not as sad as Perrie imagined she would be. Jade does not break down in tears, nor does she ask for an explanation. All she knows is that what happened is already done, and there is nothing she can do right now except for trying to fix the situation as much as she can.
"My mum says she's sorry," Perrie tells Jade, since she does not know what else to say.
"Tell her it's okay," Jade quickly answers. "I have to call my mum now. But I'll let you know how it went," Jade continues.
"Okay. I'll talk to you later," Perrie says with a sad smile.
"Bye," Jade says and hangs up the phone. Perrie drops her back on the bed and lets her thoughts wander. She falls asleep without knowing it, and wakes up when her phone vibrates with an incoming text message. She sees that it is from Jade and immediately opens it.
Talked to me mam. Everything's alright. You're invited to dinner next week (me dad invited you too btw). Miss you. Xxx
×××
"I actually think I'm in love with this house," Perrie says as she walks into the second bedroom. She did not expect to be moving again so soon, but a potential buyer for her house came along and this is already the third property she is viewing this week. Perrie spent last night with her cousin Ellie, and Ellie came along with her to look at this house in Surrey. It is located in a quiet area, quite far from London, and is exactly what Perrie is looking for. Sometimes the city is suffocating and this location allows her to be far enough in order to avoid it.
What caught Perrie’s eye is the bathtub inside the bedroom, next to the bed. She has never seen a house that has this, and wonders what nights with Jade in here would look like.
"Pez, you got to see the bathroom. It's so cool," Ellie calls from another room. Perrie glances at the bathtub one more time before she goes to search for Ellie. Perrie is unfamiliar with the house, but finds Ellie quickly. This house is much smaller than the one she currently lives in, and she sees this as an advantage. She does not need as much space to herself as she has now, and it can get lonely when she is on her own. Perrie walks into the bathroom, and her eyes lay on Ellie, then on the toilet. It is silver and has glitter on it, and Perrie has never seen anything like it.
"This place is literally perfect. Have you seen the back yard? It's huge! And the sunroom too. Plus, the chairs in the cinema room are really comfortable," Perrie enthusiastically says. "I can actually see myself living here. I'm going to text the house agent now and tell him we should put in an offer on this house." Perrie takes out her phone and quickly types a short text message. When she is done, she finds Ellie looking at her with a slightly disappointed expression. Perrie sends her a questioning look, and Ellie explains.
"So you're going home now, right? We had so much fun together. We never get to do this stuff. Could you maybe stay another night?" Ellie pleads. A candid smile spreads on Perrie's face and she pulls her cousin in for a hug. She enjoyed last night a lot too, but unfortunately, is busy tonight.
"I'd love to, but I can't stay," Perrie replies as they let go. "I have plans for tonight, and it's too late to change them now."
"What plans?" Ellie asks. She is still hoping she could somehow manage to convince Perrie to cancel whatever she is doing tonight.
"I have a date," Perrie quietly replies. She avoids Ellie's gaze, which could be taken as a sign of shyness but is actually due to the fact that Perrie does not really want to go on this date. She had tried to convince Jade multiple times that this is not a good idea, but Jade keeps insisting that Perrie has to go out with Leon at least once, and only then she could choose between him and Jade.
"Oh my gosh," Ellie excitedly says, her voice now high and her mouth open. "Who is it with? You got to tell me everything." Perrie is not too sure she wants to answer, but knows she has to if she wants Ellie to stop talking about it.
"His name is Leon, and we met at the Tape in London a few nights ago. He gave me his number and we've been texting and he seems really nice. He said he'll pick me up, and that we're going somewhere in London," Perrie explains. She makes sure to include as many details as she can remember, because that is the safest way to make sure Ellie will not ask any more questions about the subject. She succeeds, and Ellie has nothing to say back but to wish her good luck. Perrie nods with a small smile as a way of thanking her, and then suggests they would take another look at the house before they leave.
Ellie and Perrie walk around, and somehow grow to like the house even more this time. They point out the things they love the most about each room, and when they get to the bathroom again, Ellie begins laughing. Perrie cannot help but join in, and wishes that she could spend more time with Ellie today. Growing up, the two were very close, and she would have liked to have that again.
"I have an idea," Perrie suddenly says and turns to look in Ellie's eyes. "We can live here together, as roommates! You like this house as much as I do, and if we move in together, we'll always be able to see each other and we're going to have lots of time for more sleepovers." There is a short moment of silence as Ellie lets the offer sink in.
"I'll think about it," Ellie finally replies with a shy smile. The two women head out of the house, and two cabs they have called earlier are waiting for them. They say goodbye with a warm hug and a promise to try and see each other more often, then part ways. Perrie enters the backseat of the first car, and after telling the driver her address, she takes out her phone and calls Sam.
"Hi," Perrie says into the phone when Sam picks up. She turns nervous and her heartbeat increases. Sam had tried her best to figure out how to handle Jade and Perrie's relationship ever since they told her about it, and did not come up with a clear strategy yet. All she told Jade and Perrie meanwhile was to keep a low profile and stop making this a joke to their fans, and so they did. Whenever they knew they were being filmed, they did not interact with each other. That made the BBC Music Awards much less enjoyable and so did performing at the X Factor Finale, but it is what they had to do.
"Hey," Sam replies. "You're calling for an update, right? I'm sorry, but I don't have anything yet. You're going to have to give me some time to figure this out. But you're doing a great job so far keeping things down. I really appreciate it."
"I understand," Perrie simply answers. She definitely does not think it is fair, but so far, things are going okay, and that is all she can hope for at this point. "Sam, I think there's something that might, um, help you and everyone else, I guess. With building a PR strategy and all."
"What is it?" Sam asks, clearly interested.
"I'll tell you only if you promise to not ask any questions," Perrie replies. She hopes that her idea will lead to Jade and her being able to interact more freely with each other in the public eye, like they used to.
"Okay," Sam agrees. Perrie sighs before she lets the words leave her mouth.
"Nothing has changed from what Jade and I told you, but I'm kind of going on a date tonight. With a guy," Perrie shares. She is indirectly asking Sam to call the paparazzi agency and let them know that Perrie will be in London tonight. Calling the paparazzi is not something Perrie likes to do, but sometimes it just needs to be done. Usually under very different circumstances, like a single that needs to be promoted, but this will work. Photos of Perrie on a date with man are supposed to remind the public that she likes men, which will eventually lead to less rumors about Jade and her.
"No questions asked," Sam repeats. "But I definitely like your thinking. So, when exactly is it? And where?"
"We'll get there around nine PM, I think. It's somewhere in London but I'm not sure where. It's supposed to be a surprise, I guess," Perrie says.
"So, text me when you get there?" Sam asks.
"I will," Perrie replies. They exchange goodbyes before ending the call. Perrie places her phone back inside her purse, then looks out of the car window. Only the thought of going on that date makes her feel slightly uncomfortable, but she finds comfort in the fact that this is just a few hours, nothing more.
Delicate raindrops land on the glass of the window, and Perrie cannot help but crack a smile. She thinks about Jade all the time now, and her mind currently wanders to her marvelous brown eyes. Perrie was disappointed in the past over how she was not completely invested in Jade, and did not think about her whenever she felt lonely like she does right now. So much can change in so little time.
×××
"Did you like the house you were viewing today?" Jade asks Perrie. They are sitting in Perrie's porch on the second floor, and the rain drips onto the roof above them in a quiet sound. They have moved their chairs as close to each other as possible, and Jade's head rests on Perrie's shoulder as they both share a blanket. Empty mugs of cocoa lie at their feet, and their bodies warm one another beneath the fabric.
"I did. A lot, actually," Perrie replies with a small smile. She would much rather talk about this morning than what she has planned for tonight. "It has a glittery toilet seat and a bathtub inside one of the bedrooms. What more can you ask you for?" Jade lightly laughs in reply, and a wide smile spreads on her face. She cannot think about anything else but how greatful she is to have Perrie and how she wishes things are not going to change anytime soon; that Perrie is going to choose her over Leon, and that Sam will figure out a way for them to keep hiding but remin this close.
"It's cold in here, and it's getting pretty late. I think we should go in," Jade suggests. Perrie agrees and takes the blanket inside, back to her bedroom, while Jade carries the mugs. "Are you nervous for tonight?" She asks as she lays the mugs on the nightstand.
"Nope," Perrie quickly answers without any hesitation. Jade sits on the edge of the bed, and Perrie walks over to the door of her closet. It truly is getting late, and she needs to get ready for her date, but does not want to do so until she proves to Jade that tonight means nothing to her.
"Can you at least pretend to be?" Jade asks with a smile as she rolls her eyes. Perrie shakes her head with a matching grin. "Just a little?" Perrie enters her closet and picks out the first two tops she sees.
"Oh my gosh, Jade. Which one do I choose?" She asks in an American accent as she holds up the two pieces of clothing for Jade to see. Jade laughs in response, and Perrie smiles as she shakes her head and puts the clothes back in the closet. She then puts on a heavy coat and a furry hat, and studies herself in the mirror for no more than just a few seconds, since she does not really care that much about how she looks. All she wants is to look decent in the photos the paparazzi will be taking of her. Perrie's phone vibrates, and she sees a text from Leon, saying that his car is outside of the gate to her house. Perrie does not want to open the gate and let him enter the driveway so he will not expect for her to bring him inside the house as well. She just texts back saying that she will be down in a minute.
Jade stands up and walks over to Perrie. She wraps her arms around Perrie and slowly kisses her lips. She makes sure that the contact lasts as long as possible, because this might be her last opportunity ever to touch Perrie that way.
"I got to go, baby. But I'll be back before you know it," Perrie tells Jade and connects their lips again.
"You've got security with you, right?" Jade asks as Perrie picks up her purse. She looks at Jade, and her brown eyes are almost shouting with worry. Perrie sends her an assuring, calm smile as she nods.
"Yeah, they're going to be with me the whole time. You don't have to worry, I promise. I'm much more worried about you and Jed in Paris, to be honest. He's going to have you for a whole weekend, and I'll sit at home and wait for your calls," Perrie says and adds a little laugh.
"You should a plan a vacation somewhere exotic, like you wanted to. So you'll keep busy while I'm in Paris," Jade suggests. She takes her Parka coat and puts it on, getting to ready to leave as well.
"Maybe I will," Perrie replies and grins at Jade. Seeing Jade wearing her coat makes automatically makes Perrie search a reason for Jade to stay. She does not ever want to say goodbye to her, no matter how much time they spend together. "Hey, do you want to stay here? You can watch a movie in the cinema room or sleep or do whatever you want. I'd like to have you here when I come back, if you want to stay."
"Yeah, sure," Jade answers without hesitation. She take her coat off as Perrie opens one of the drawers in the the nightstand. A moment later, Perrie finds what she was searching for. She holds a key in her hand and hands it over to Jade.
"I have a spare one, and it's just laying here. You should have it," Perrie says. A wide smile spreads on Jade's face as she accepts the key and firmly holds it in her hand. "I'll see you later," Perrie assures her and leans in for a quick peck on the lips.
"Okay," Jade softly replies. "I hope he treats you well, and that you have fun. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything. Don't go anywhere without security with you. Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. And don't forget you're mine." Perrie blows her a kiss and exits the room. She walks downstairs, then leaves the house and finds two cars outside of her gate. She is familiar with the first one, and walks over to the driver's window to say hi to the bodyguard inside. Then, she recognizes Leon in the second car and enters the vehicle.
"Hi," she says with a small smile as she puts her seat belt on.
"How's it going?" Leon asks and starts the engine.
"Good," Perrie simply replies. Leon begins driving and Perrie looks at the side view mirror and is pleased to see that the bodyguard's car is following them.
"How was your day?" Leon asks.
"It was great. I went to see a property in Surrey, because I'm moving soon, and I really liked it," Perrie answers. She leaves out the part where her girlfriend came over and they had hot cocoa on the porch in the rain together. "How was yours?"
"I was working all day, so I'm a bit tired," Leon shares. He sneaks glances at Perrie as he speaks, and she would much rather if he would just focus on the road.
"What do you do for a living?" Perrie asks. She remembers how different it is to be on a date with someone you have not known for years. There is so much basic information about Leon that she does not know yet, and this thought is somewhat scary.
"I'm an actor, but I also model a lot. And I'm an events and nightclub promoter. I was in the Tape the night we met because this place is one of the projects I'm invested in. I also play football, and I do radio and TV jobs when I get the chance," Leon says. Perrie presses her lips together and quietly sighs. She did not expect this detailed answer at all. If anyone would have asked Jade what she does for a living, she would only say that she is a singer, even though she has countless other talents. Perrie is not sure if this is specifically Leon, or just men in general, whose ego is so big they do not care about anything but impressing others.
"Wow," Perrie replies. She would have had interesting questions to ask if she could remember everything Leon just told her.
"Yeah," Leon says with a proud smile. "You?"
"I'm a singer," Perrie replies.
"Really?" Leon asks, and once again glances at her. She keeps her gaze on the road, and shortly after he does the same.
"Yeah, I'm in a group. We're called Little Mix," Perrie explains.
"That sounds familiar. I'm sure I've heard some of your stuff on the radio before," Leon says and leads them both into an awkward silence. "So, what does a typical day at work look for you?" He finally asks.
"There are no typical days, that's the best part. Every day looks different. I had a few days off this week so I went home to visit my family, but tomorrow and on Thursday we're shooting a video and then there's this charity event we're performing at," Perrie says. She loves talking about her job since she is so passionate about it, so she feels comfortable now. "But this is only this week. Next week looks completely different. So there's never a dull day."
"That sounds great," Leon replies. "So you're shooting a video, right? Is it for a song?"
"Yeah, it is," Perrie explains. "It's going to be a long shoot. On Thursday we're only going to begin filming around eleven PM, and we're going to go until one in the morning at least. It will be really beautiful, because the set is at London Bridge, and I'm really looking forward to that."
"We're here," Leon says as he parks the car after giving Perrie a quick nod as a sign he was listening. Perrie recognizes the place right away - they are in Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. This is a festival that is done annually in London, but Perrie has only been here once. It was during the X Factor, and Jade, Jesy Leigh-Anne and her came here with Tulisa. The proudocers called plenty of paparazzi agencies ahead of the visit, and the result was countless photographs following the five women. They were even filmed during rides, and it made everyone feel extremely uncomfortable. So Perrie is not too excited to go in there right now and experience this all over again, but does not want to come off as rude, so she does not say anything. All she does is text Sam to let her know where she is, and then exits the car after Leon.
Perrie does not want to go on any rides but the ones where the cameras cannot see her, in order to not repeat her experience from twenty eleven. There is a long queue for the ride Leon and her chose, and they stand and wait. There is a lighthearted conversation between them, and even though Perrie does not like him that much, she does not mind spending time with him. The bodyguard stands behind the two, and even though Perrie is used to having people follow her, like security and sometimes even fans, she can tell that Leon is slightly uncomfortable due to the bodyguard's presence.
As they wait to come in, Perrie spots a few cameras looking at them from afar. After four years in the industry, she has developed somewhat of a sensitivity to paparazzi. It was a matter of survival, after how the paparazzi got photos of her in LA in the summer without her engagement ring and exposed the break up. Perrie pretends to not notice them, in order to not make Leon look at the cameras. Perrie knows that a straight glance at them could potentially hurt the photos' credibility when they will be sold to tabloids.
After Perrie and Leon finally get to the front of the queue and exit the ride, they stroll around the park. Leon tells some jokes, and Perrie laughs. She makes a few funny remarks as well, and keeps the conversation light, as she does not want it to go to a flirty direction as it usually does on first dates.
Perrie's mind is not completely present in this chat. The longer they are there, the more she realizes what Jade meant that day she told her to go out with Leon. It is not anything specific about him, but the atmosphere. She is on a date, and there are cameras surrounding her, but instead of wanting to be hidden, she wants to be seen. She purposely stands close to Leon so the paparazzi will take the needed photos. If she would have wanted to, she could kiss Leon right now, and there will not be any consequences to this action. Sam would praise her. Her mother would be on cloud nine, and Katherine will not panic; she will only be happy for her. Jade was right. Everything could be much easier.
After about an hour or so in the park, they walk back to where Leon's car is parked. He opens the door for her, and they both enter the vehicle. Perrie sends a quick text to Jade, saying that she is on her way home, then keeps chatting to Leon. The drive feels long and tiring, because Perrie cannot wait to come home to Jade. Perrie’s house finally comes into sight, and Leon stops the car at the side of the road.
"I had fun tonight," Leon says and leans in just a bit closer, almost unnoticeably.
"Me too," Perrie replies with a friendly smile. It is not a complete lie, because tonight had its fun moments, but it is also not the complete truth. Leon looks into her blue eyes, then leans in towards her. Perrie has no intention of kissing him, so she leans back and gently puts her hand on his chest in order to stop him from coming any closer.
"I don't really do this on first dates," she says and forces a smile. It is true that she has a rule of not kissing on first dates, but it is definitely not the only reason why she rejected the contact.
"I respect that," Leon replies and fakes a smile. He is sitting confidently in his previous position at the driver's seat, but Perrie can tell his ego took a hit. "I'd like to take you out again sometime, if you're up for it," he continues. "I feel like we have a really great connection."
"I'm kind of busy right now with work, so I don't think I have the time,"
Perrie replies. She unfastens her seat belt and opens the car door. "But thanks for tonight," she says, then quickly gets out of the car and softly shuts the door behind her. She walks over to the bodyguard's car and thanks him for accompanying her, then enters the house even though she feels a little bad for abandoning Leon like that.
The house is dark, and Perrie turns on the lights as she walks in. She hears noise from the cinema room, and finds a movie playing on the screen there. Jade is peacefully sleeping on one of the chairs, and Perrie cannot think of another word but angelic to describe this sight. Jade is her little angel, who will do anything to protect her and make her happy. Even if that means convincing her to go on dates with guys. Perrie sits next to Jade and puts a hand on Jade's thigh.
"Babe, come up to bed," Perrie softly whispers. "You're going to hurt your neck if you sleep like that." Jade opens her eyes, and adjusts her sight to the light coming from the screen. It takes a few seconds for her to remember where she is at.
"How did it go?" Jade asks in a voice hoarse of sleep.
"It was okay. He asked me if I want to go out with him again, and I said I'm too busy," Perrie explains. A small smile spreads on Jade's face and she moves in her seat. She closes her eyes again. Now she will be able to sleep without any worries. "Come up to bed, angel," Perrie tells her again. She takes Jade's hand and helps her stand up, then slowly leads them both up the stairs and into the master bedroom. After Jade is safely tucked in, Perrie goes back downstairs, pauses the movie and turns off the projector. She shuts the screen of her laptop and switches off the lights in the first floor, then joins Jade upstairs.
Jade feels Perrie's warm touch as she cuddles into her under the thick blanket. She is not completely awake nor completely asleep, but she had noticed how softly Perrie took care of her, and how she arranged the house for the night. Jade has never had anyone who was this considerate and caring. All these years, she could not truly see what she had. Perrie was meant for her all along. She realizes she loves Perrie.
Jade smiles and allows herself to drift back to sleep.
×××
"So, it is ten past one in the morning, I've just finished," Jade says to the camera that films the behind the scenes for the Secret Love Song music video. "Perrie and Jesy haven't even started yet. But it's been a really nice shoot. I'm relaxed and we only did a few takes and now I'm going home to bed! So yeah, it was nice. It's a bit emotional, this one. We are looking forward to see it when it's out."
The video really did turn into something Jade was somewhat proud of. The girls and her have managed to put enough pressure on the label for them to agree to include a homosexual couple, a heterosexual couple and an interracial one. It is far from the original vision of the video, but it is something. As the camera man thanks Jade and walks over to Leigh-Anne, Jade hears her name being called and sees Perrie rushing towards her with a smile.
"I'm about to go film my part! But I just wanted to tell you that I was watching you when you did your part and that you did great and that you look really beautiful," Perrie says and pulls Jade into a loving embrace. Jade takes in her smell and enjoys her touch before Perrie is called to set. As Perrie walks away to where she is needed, Jade decides to watch Perrie's part as well, even though she is not obligated to stay any longer. Perrie sees her as the cameras are being set up and they exchange glances and giggle when their eyes meet. However, this changes when Jade hears some chatter behind her, someone asking to be let into the set. She turns around to see what is going on, and sees a familiar man holding a flower bouquet. She is not sure who he is until he claims to know Perrie and again asks the security person to let him in.
Jesy, who has just finished getting her hair and makeup done, hears the argument too. She walks over there in attempt to calm everyone down, because she knows that usually the directors hate it when the set is noisy when it does not have to be.
"What's your name again?" The security guard asks the man.
"Leon King," he replies with his arms crossed. The security guard looks over to Jesy, silently asking her for her opinion on the matter. "Perrie's here, right? I already told you I know her." The name clicks in, and Jesy remembers Perrie told her about this guy yesterday during first part of the video shoot. Jesy thought Perrie and him decided that things between them are not going to work, but him showing up here shows otherwise. She assumes that Perrie did not update her on a change that happened.
"Yeah, he can come in," Jesy says and sends him a friendly smile.
"Thank you," Leon tells her in response as the security guard lets him in. He walks over to the first person he recognizes, which is Jade. She is not at all satisfied to see him, and hopes that Perrie did not lie to her about what happened on that date. "You're Perrie's friend, right?" He asks Jade, and she nods even though she would have liked to correct him to the appropriate title, girlfriend. "Where is she? And Would you mind leaving this where she can find it? There's a note on it, I just got to go home soon and I'm not sure I can give it to her myself," he asks and hands the bouquet over to Jade. He then sees Perrie, surrounded by cameras, and does not wait for an answer from Jade before leaving her with the bouquet and walking towards Perrie.
Jade is left a bit shocked, and even a little bit hurt, from the lack of respect he was showing. If Leon only knew who he was actually talking to, this conversation would have looked very different. She leaves the bouquet on the closest chair she can find, and goes back to watch Perrie.
Jade feels like she is in the midst of a battle. She is watching from afar, although close enough for Perrie to see her, because unlike Leon, she knows not to interrupt the filming. She cannot stand the way Leon is watching Perrie. Her Perrie, not his. He awkwardly stands there, hands in his pockets, while Jade's gaze moves back and forth between Perrie and him. Perrie, luckily, cannot choose sides by looking at either Jade or Leon, because she needs to keep her gaze on the camera in front of her.
"I think we got everything we needed. Thank you," the director tells Perrie and the team gets ready to film Jesy's part. As soon as the cameras are off, Perrie locks gazes with Jade and smiles at her, but is interrupted by Leon, who is approaching Perrie. He opens his arms for a hug, and Perrie wraps her arms around him, too, although only for a short amount of time. She saw him at the at the corner of her eye while she was filming, so she already had her moment of shock over his presence.
"You're here," Perrie says, almost as a question. She cannot ignore the fact that Jade is right there, watching them. She would much rather be with her right now.
"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you," Leon replies with a small smile. "I really got to go home now, but I was wondering if you could take some time off and I will take you out again sometime."
"Leon, it's... very nice of you, but it's about more than just me being busy," Perrie says, and feels worse with every word that comes out of her mouth. "I mean, I really am working all the time, but I'm also not really looking for a relationship right now. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."
"It's just a date," Leon replies and shrugs his shoulders.
"Sorry," Perrie says with a sad smile. "Thanks for coming. Goodnight," she says and walks away. She looks for Jade, but does not seem to find her anywhere near. She is sure Jade has not gone home yet, because she did not say goodbye, so she searches around the set as well. Eventually, Perrie finds Jade sitting on a bench on her own, far from the cameras.
"Hey," Jade says with a quiet voice as Perrie sits down next to her. It takes no time at all for Perrie to notice how upset Jade is. She wants to comfort Jade with a soft touch, but there is not much she can do, since they are in public.
"Babe, what happened?" Perrie asks, even though she is pretty sure she already knows the answer to this question. "Is it because Leon showed up?"
"Did you lie to me about what happened on that date?" Jade ignores Perrie's question and asks. "How did he even know that you're here?"
"When we went out, he asked me about work and I told him that I have a video shoot. I didn't think he would cone here. That wasn't my intention, not at all. But why would I lie to you? What reason do I have to lie?"
"Maybe because you didn't want to tell me that your date was actually good," Jade quietly says.
"I told you how it went. It was okay, and when he asked me about a second date, I said no. That's it. There was nothing significant about it," Perrie replies.
"You never even told me what happened there," Jade argues. She feels terrible for accusing Perrie of hiding information from her, but cannot stop herself from getting angry and jealous. Her old insecurities are finding their way back to her, and she does not have the energy to fight them right now.
"He drove us to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, and we went on a ride and then walked around and just talked. It was nothing special, really. Then we drove back and when we arrived he tried to kiss me, but obviously I didn't let that happen, and that's it. I swear I'm not keeping anything from you. You were exhausted when I came home, you fell asleep during the movie. I wasn't hiding anything by not telling you all about my night in that moment, I just wanted you to get some sleep."
"Okay," Jade replies in a small voice. She feels fragile and just wants a warm hug. She reaches for Perrie's hand and holds it while telling herself that they can hold hands in public, that it is not too suspicious, and that it does not seem like anyone is watching them anyway. "Did you think about how easy it was? To be out on a date and have no problem with the whole world knowing that you're on a date?"
"I did, if I'm honest," Perrie replies and Jade takes a deep breath. There are tears in her eyes, and Perrie hates knowing that she is the one who caused them. "Jade, you're feeling insecure, right? I can tell. But I promise you that there's no reason for you to feel that way. I choose you, okay? I choose you over anyone else, right here and right now. You already know how I feel about you, and that's not going to change."
Jade takes a deep breath and tries to relax. She knows Perrie is being candid right now, she is not just saying what she thinks will please Jade. Jade wants to tell her that she loves her, since that would be the only way to properly thank Perrie for her words, but she feels too vulnerable at this moment. It is not the right time.
"Okay," is all she says. Jade wears a small smile and Perrie wraps her arm around Jade and pulls her towards her. She is willing to handle another wave of rumors in order to comfort Jade now.