Maya PoV
I took a deep breath "No I don't feel anything for you" I slid out from under his arm "Goodnight Lucas"
I grabbed the door handle "Maya!" Lucas said quickly
"Don't leave things between us like this" Lucas spoke softly and I felt extremely bad I did love him, but I can't be with Lucas ever and it breaks my heart knowing this
"I'm sorry Lucas I just don't feel anything for you, not anymore" I lied,
I'm not sure if he bought it though since I was just getting nervous standing close to him and I do whenever we are alone but I needed him to believe it and move on.
I needed him to be happy
I opened the door "Goodnight" I said to him before I walked inside and shut the door behind me
Everyone except for Cory, Topanaga, Auggie and Lucas, we're all still here
"Thank you all for coming" I said forcing a fake smile "But the party is over, sorry to cut it short"
My mom and Shawn were the first to say goodbye to me, "Everything will work itself out sweetie" my mom said trying to comfort me, but as much as she wanted to make me see things would work out I couldn't help but be upset about this whole situation.
Why did I have to care so much? Why did I have to care if Riley was okay with us?
I don't know why I care so much but I do, I'd rather have everyone else happy over myself and I think that's how I'll always be
"Bye, I'll see you soon" I waved goodbye to them and when I opened the door again I noticed Lucas had left I'm not sure what I was expecting, of course he left
"I'll go and get Hope ready for bed" Josh said offering to help me out, I thanked him and he took Hopes hand and they went into her room
I went and slouched down on the couch, Zay, Smackle and Farkle came over to me
"You okay?" Farkle asked sitting next to me
"Just peachy" I said sarcastically
I looked at Zay and Smackle "Sorry if we ruined your special night" I said referring to the proposal
Because of me and Lucas the attention was taken away from them and I ruined what should be a happy night for them with our drama
"It's okay Maya, it's kinda my fault anyway" Zay said looking guilty
"No-no- no it's not your fault at all" I spoke quickly making sure Zay knew it wasn't his fault that this all started tonight "Me and Lucas should of talked about this earlier but I kept putting it off"
"So what is this between you two?" Smackle asked curiously
"We are just friends, that's all we are" I lied again, I had been lying so much lately it had just become the normal thing for me to do
"We can all see the way you both look at each other" Smackle starting talking more about it and I just wanted them all to believe that we are just friends and that's it, I'm tired of talking about it
"Honestly we aren't anything more than friends" I said pushing the lie, maybe if I kept saying it, it would actually be true
"Maya-" Farkle started to say something but I cut him off
"I'm going to go and say goodnight to my daughter" I stood up from the couch
"I'm done talking about this you can all leave now..... thanks for coming Merry Christmas and congratulations" I said quickly before I walked away from them all and into Hopes room
"Long night?" Josh joked as he was rooting through Hopes drawers to find her pyjamas
I slightly laughed "Nah not really" I sarcastically said as I went over to a different set of drawers and took out Hopes pyjamas
"So has everyone gone?" He asked standing up and walking over to me
"I think so yeah" I turned around to face him
"Thanks for everything Josh, you've always been there for me" I softly smiled
"And I always will be" he smiled back
I then went back into reality and went over to Hope who was just playing with her dolls, I got her into her pyjamas and tucked her into bed giving her a kiss goodnight, she soon started to fall asleep so once she started drifting off I stood up and turned off her light leaving the door open and going into my room
I turned around and Josh was stood there "I'm surprised you haven't left yet"
"I don't really want to be home right now, is it okay if I stay for a little longer?" He asked moving more into my room and looking down at the floor
"Why what's going on?" I asked curiously
"Me and Ellie broke up, it's why I moved back over here" Ellie was his girlfriend who I met back in Florida, he loved her so much I remember Josh talking about proposing when I was over there so he must be taking this hard
"Josh I'm so sorry, you can stay here tonight if you want" I offered feeling sorry for him, he looked so hurt I could see the pain in his eyes when he talked about her
"Thanks" He gave me a small smile I could tell he was forcing himself to smile
"Why did you break up, if you don't mind me asking?" I asked, maybe if he talked about it he would feel better. Also I was curious.
"You" He said like it was that simple
I forced a laugh because I felt so awkward "W-What?" I was not expecting him to say that
"She was always paranoid and jealous of you" I relaxed a little but I felt bad I was the reason they broke up
"Oh, for a minute there I thought you broke up because you had feelings for me, which would be crazy ... right?" He took a step closer,
I hoped that he didn't it would be weird Josh is my friend, one of my best friends, he can't possibly like me. Can he?
"Would that be so crazy?" I didn't know what to think I hadn't thought about Josh in this way in years
Before I could say anything else Josh kissed me, I quickly reacted and pushed him away "What the hell are you doing!" I said raising my voice,
Josh was my friend and I loved Lucas but now I was confused I hadn't thought about Josh in this way for years
"Sorry" He said stepping away
"I'm not some rebound Josh, you're one of my best friends" I said a little calmer, but still thinking over some things in my head
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me" he said turning away from me
I grabbed his hand and made him face me "It's okay" I could tell he felt embarrassed, this wasn't like him at all.
"You're just hurting, I get it but don't go around kissing your existing friends" I said a joking tone lightening the mood
He slightly laughed "I know, I really am sorry it won't happen again" he apologised again
"You don't have feelings for me though do you?" I asked just making sure I didn't want things to be weird between us
"No don't worry, I just wasn't thinking" he forced a smile, some part of me felt a little upset that he didn't have feelings for me but that's probably just because I'm upset about everything with Lucas
I thought about this for a while and it was probably a mistake... I let go of Josh's hand and kissed him "What was that for"
"I'm not sure, you confused me" I admitted
"I think we're both upset from not being with the people we love" I tried to rationalise this situation, I think I'm just a magnet for drama and trouble.
"Probably" he agreed "So this would be a mistake right?"
"Totally a huge mistake" I nodded in agreement but I still felt weird maybe I should just let things with Josh happen, who knows maybe we could be each other's rebounds
"Okay I know that look on your face, what are you thinking?" Josh made an observation, I guess I wasn't hiding my emotions as well as I thought
I didn't say anything I just looked at him and leaned in closer but then we both heard a knock on the door, so I moved away and took a step back
I ignored the door it was late and all our friends had gone home so it probably wasn't anything important and now I had just kissed Josh and I don't know what to do, but we needed to figure it out