-ellen-
"I am so fucking done with you," I spat at Noah. He crossed his arms and sighed at me.
Hours earlier, in the pool, Noah had done something really strange. We were listening to an Echosmith song when he said something that I thought was "I love you." But I couldn't hear it over the music, and even if he did like me, it would ruin everything. He was here to be my best friend, not my boyfriend. I told myself that if he asked me out, I would say no.
After that strange encounter, we didn't speak for awhile. But then he started a fight with me, and that is crossing a line, because nobody fights with Ellen Grace Wilson.
It all started when he said that he didn't want to make any stops tomorrow. Indignant and a little exasperated, I had replied with my standard "it's to make memories" response.
Apparently, Noah was not in the mood to hear that. He rolled his eyes and said, "Make memories on your own time. I'm tired and the world does not revolve around you, princess."
Maybe he was right, but at the time I was incredibly offended. I had called him an asshole and told him to go suck a certain sexual organ, but we won't go into detail about that.
Then, Noah had said, "I can see why your parents wanted to get rid of you." He didn't even look regretful about it either.
So now here we were, staring at each other and wondering where things had gone so wrong.
After telling him that I was "so fucking done" with him, I angrily stomped out of the living room and into my back bedroom, drawing a little curtain in the doorway closed. I needed some solitude.
I violently ripped my notebook open and clicked a mechanical pencil a few times. After a moment of thinking, I scrawled:
It's like a button in my brain is broken, I'm always sassy and irritable and annoyed with the entire world. It's affecting my relationships and I'm not a fun person to be around- and this time, it's not PMS. I don't like this person that I can't unbecome.
Then I drew a messy raindrop covering the left half of the words.
After a moment to myself, I had calmed down a bit. I didn't need food, or water, or anything like that- at the moment, I craved human affection. And I sure as hell wasn't going to get it from Noah.
I checked the time and, upon discovering that it was 8 PM, I stomped into the main room, flung open Jamie's door, and left without so much as a glance in Noah's direction. I wasn't sure where I was going, but anywhere would be good enough.
Noah had parked Jamie at some all-night pharmacy of some sort. I looked to the left- there was a McDonald's, an Old Navy, and some other stores, and to the right there was a highway. After a second of thought, I decided on the McDonald's.
It was a pretty cold night, and I had begun to doubt my light sweater and skinny jeans. I almost went back to the RV. Almost.
But then I gathered my pride, held my head high, and continued walking down the street to where my fast food was.
As soon as I entered, the overwhelming aroma of grease almost overpowered me. It wasn't necessarily a bad smell to me- it's not as if I was one of those health nuts totally against a burger now and then- but it still took a moment to get used to.
I stuck my hands inside my front sweatshirt pocket as I waited in line, trying to find my wallet. I felt my phone, a couple mints, and then I pulled it out.
"I can help who's next?" The man at one of the registers offered. He had spiky black hair and an ear gauge, which I liked.
"Hi, I'll have a McChicken and some fries please?" I asked tentatively. One time I had read online that a lady found a chicken head in her food, and won something like 100,000 dollars when she sued them.
"Sure thing," replied ear-gauge guy. He keyed in my order and I forked over the cash, praying that I wouldn't find any chicken heads today.
Once I received my food, I glanced around the restaurant, looking for somewhere to eat. In one of the corners, there was a scraggly old man eating by himself, slurping food off of his fingers and glancing nervously around the restaurant.
"Jesus," I muttered, looking in the other direction.
To the left there was a woman with two kids who were playing with their happy meal toys. By the looks of things, neither of them had even touched their food.
Occupying a table all by themselves, there were two boys who were talking and laughing now and then, pounding their fists on the table and using wild hand motions.
A final sweep of the place revealed that there were no other people. I didn't want to sit alone in fear that the scary old guy would come get me, so I grabbed my food and hustled to the two boys.
I grinned at them. "Hi, I'm Ellen," I said confidently. "Mind if I join you?"
As to be expected, they looked a little wary of me at first. I mean, if some random girl with tear-stained cheeks and an oversized baggy sweatshirt came up to you, it's not like you would welcome her with open arms.
The boys exchanged some glances and the one on the left- a blonde- nodded.
"Sure, take a seat."
I plopped myself into a chair and opened up my food. "So do you guys live around here?"
The other one, a curly-headed brown haired guy, swallowed a bite of food. "Yeah, we live on the outskirts of town," he said. "We just stopped here before the party."
My ears perked up. "Party?"
"Yeah, there's this sick house party at our friend Amelia's house tonight," said the blondie. "And Logan here doesn't have a date." He nudged Curly.
Logan's eyes lit up. "Yeah dude, you should come!"
I bit my lip, hesitating. "I don't know..."
The blond rolled his eyes and gave me an empathetic glance. "Sorry that Logan's being a sexual predator," he said apologetically. "He's only a little bit drunk."
I laughed and bit into a fry. "Well, it's not like I have a lot of other things to do tonight."
"You can come if you want," he offered. "I promise we're not creeps who're going to tie you up and throw you in the back of a truck or something."
"Thanks for the reassurance," I said uncertainly.
Alas, I found myself sitting in the backseat of a spanking-new corvette- this must have been a rich kid- and on my way to a party with two strangers.
I wondered if I was only doing it to rub it in Noah's face, and I think the answer was yes. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he saw me with these guys.
I glanced down at what I was wearing- I had taken off my sweatshirt, revealing a white t-shirt with a feather on it. I had black skinny jeans and black converse, as well as two black braided bracelets that wrapped around my wrist. For once, I had left my hair down naturally. It was curly and frizzy and getting everywhere, but I tried not to care.
It was hardly party attire, but I was excited anyway.
"So, what kind of people will be at this party?" I asked, leaning forward a bit.
The blonde guy, whose name I learned was Dan, shrugged. "Hard to say. We just invite friends, and they take friends, and those friends tell other friends, and evenutally you've got a nice mix of people. Sometimes people just show up, though, and that's not always fun."
I nodded at him and slumped back in my seat. My phone buzzed and I checked it for the first time since I left Jamie- I had eight missed messages from Noah.
Ellen where'd you go?
Hello?
Srsly where are you?
You don't have to come home but will you at least tell me where you are?
You don't even have to say where just text me
Ellen this isn't funny.
I'm getting worried now.
Ellen I'm sorry. Please come home.
I shot him a text back:
Jesus Noah, chill. I've only been gone for like an hour. I'm going out and I'll be back late tonight or early tomorrow.
Almost instantly, he replied with:
I'm sorry.
I didn't bother responding as I locked my phone and slid it snug into my pocket.
The rest of the right there was nice, actually, there was nothing awkward about it. Both Logan and Dan were really easy to talk to, and we laughed about stupid stuff like puns and knock-knock jokes for most of the way there.
We pulled up in front of a huge house with glass windows covering most of the front. You could see blinking strobe lights inside and feel the bass pound in your chest from the driveway. It was exhilarating, and I was eager to get in and meet some new people.
"Okay, you're my date," Logan said firmly. "Which means we stick together so my friends don't laugh at me."
I grinned and linked my arm through his. "Sure thing, buddy."
Dan was trying to suppress a grin. "We sort of dared Logan to get a girlfriend before Halloween, and it looks like he's trying to pass this off as a relationship."
Logan blushed again, but I just laughed. "Well, we'll see how it works out."
I winked at both of them and headed into the house, pulling Logan along with me.
I entered the house and the bass instantly got deeper. It hurt my head for a minute, but I quickly adjusted. There was a strong scent of sweat and beer- neither were things that I particularly liked.
"So, do you want to meet some people?" Logan called over the music. I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, prompting him to lead me over to some people that he recognized.
First I met Lucy and Kelsey, two girls who were best friends. Not the cute type of best friends- no, these girls were the obnoxious kind of best friends who had friendship bracelets and a billion inside jokes and said things in unison. It quickly got annoying.
"Lucy, Kelsey, this is Ellen," Logan said to them with a sigh. "My date."
I waved gingerly and they exchanged glances.
"Hi," Lucy said shortly. Kelsey remained silent. After a moment of staring at me, they looked at each other and began speaking in low voices, casting glances at me now and then.
Logan led me away from them and next to the staircase, where he put a hand on my shoulder and sighed. "Don't mind them," he sighed. "They've been besties, and bitches, since the first grade."
I rolled my eyes. "So, why did you choose to start with them?"
Logan laughed. "To get them out of the way."
Everyone else turned out to be super nice, actually. I met a boy named Jake who rode motorcycles, a girl named Hayden who had long blonde hair that went past her waist, and some kids who were too busy giving each other tattoos to notice me. I decided not to ask about that one.
"So, that's basically everyone," Logan sighed, glancing around the room.
I raised an eyebrow. "Everyone?" There were still tons of people that I had yet to meet.
"Well, not everyone," Logan said slowly. "But I have a better idea. Can we go upstairs?"
I took a few steps back. "Logan, I don't know your middle or last names, but if I did I would use them. I am not having sex with you, or anyone, not tonight at least."
Logan raised his arms up in defense. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. We're going to play Confessions."
"Confessions?"
"Confessions."
I gulped nervously, not liking the sound of that. I was in the mood to get out on the dance floor and forget about everything, but "Confessions" sounded like the exact opposite. It was probably like Truth or Dare, but without the dare.
Once we got upstairs, Logan led me into a back room. "This is my friend Amelia's house. I've been here plenty of times- this is the biggest guest bedroom."
I nodded and started tying my hair up into a ponytail. It was a nervous habit of mine- whenever I was uncomfortable, I started playing with my hair.
"Here's how it works," Logan said softly. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, so you can pass. I just ask you a question and you answer, then you do the same to me. Okay?"
"Okay," I replied a little unsteadily.
"Let's see. What's your name?"
I got a little of my confidence back. "Ellen Grace Wilson. Do you live here?"
"No, I live in a town about ten minutes away with Dan," Logan replied, rolling his eyes. "He's not the best roommate. But where are you from?"
"I'm from Oregon, but I'm headed to Maine. I'll probably leave tomorrow, actually."
Logan frowned. "Oh. That sort of... sucks."
I locked eyes with him.
"Have you ever had a boyfriend? Ever?" Logan asked carefully. He seemed to know that this could be sensitive grounds for some ladies, and for me as well.
"Once," I said quietly. "But I don't think it really counts. This guy was named Jacob, and he just used me. He used me. He never really liked me, no one has, actually. And I always wondered why- am I not pretty? Not smart? Not athletic? Maybe I'm not friendly, maybe I'm too short or too tall, maybe they don't like my hair color. No boy has ever shown interest in me for real. Not ever."
I stopped and took a shuddering breath. I was about to cry, but I continued. "And I get so angry with myself, because I'm so shitty and I don't try hard enough."
"That's not true," Logan replied. "None of it. You're as close to perfect as someone could get, I think. And as for boys never liking you- I think that you just can't see it. You know? I haven't even known you a day, and I like you well enough."
I dropped my gaze. "I like you, too," I mumbled. "But we just met."
"So?" Logan whispered.
And suddenly, my phone rang.
I rolled my eyes. It was Noah calling me- I pressed ignore, but he was persistent. When he called back the second time, less than a minute later, I answered.
"What, Noah? What is so goddamn important?"
A pause. "It's Kate," he replied. "She's here."
(A/N) Edited in a somewhat mediocre fashion.
Thanks for reading!