PRESENT DAY
Minho's knees were curled up to his chest, his cheeks sticky with dried tears. Felix was only getting worse, and moving him too much had proven to be... unsafe. Nobody knew what to do anymore – Seungmin was too tired to teleport anyone anywhere, now.
They spoke in hushed voices so he couldn't hear – he didn't know what there was to hide at this point, but he was glad for it because even without the words, he knew that their ideas were running thin, desperation sinking in on all their faces.
He turned his head slightly to look at Felix, whose face was placid, pale, clammy... Changbin didn't look much better, clutching his hand tightly, muttering words Minho could not hear, either, though from the sad look in his eyes he could only guess.
He quickly tore his eyes away, a lump already re-forming in his throat as his vision blurred with the impending need to cry. He wished he could do something to help, but he was just a human – completely useless.
He shouldn't even be here.
And yet Felix was like that because Chan had been after him. Minho bit down on his bottom lip hard. He ignored the pain that flashed through him; he knew he deserved it. It was only a small fraction of what Felix felt then and there. His fists clenched in the dirt and he turned his teary eyes towards the sky, staring up at the full moon that loomed heavily amongst its bed of stars.
Minho felt resentment as he stared up at it, despite its beauty; he'd often heard them mutter the Moon Goddess moves in mysterious ways. As he stared at his dying friend, he wondered what possible reason she could ever have to do this. It wasn't fair.
He almost chuckled; he was nothing but a human, and yet he still found himself praying to a goddess he hadn't even known existed until then, though he did not doubt that she was up there, somewhere, watching their stories unfold in the way she had arranged.
He couldn't bear to look at it anymore.
"I can do it." He looked up at the sound of Jeongin's voice, who had finally spoken up for the first time since they all huddled together. Seungmin still eyed him warily, and Minho bit the inside of his cheek; he didn't understand why everyone seemed so afraid of the boy.
"I'm not all that tired, and... I don't have to worry about... limitations..." His voice grew fainter with each passing second, and those gathered all shot one another worried looks. "I couldn't take all of you, of course, but... a handful, maybe..." Minho could hear the insecurity building in his voice, and Jisung seemed to pick up on it as well since he smiled reassuringly.
"Alright, let's try that. How many do you think you can carry?"
Jeongin eyed the camp, biting his lip. "Five, maybe six. The more people I carry, the slower I'll get, though." Jisung frowned contemplatively.
"Okay, Hyunjin, you'll lead the rest back to the pack?" Hyunjin nodded determinedly. "Minho, Changbin, Felix and I will go with you. The lighter, the better, right?" Jeongin nodded as well. Jisung exhaled softly, eyes sweeping the camp. He nodded again, as though to reassure himself. "The rest, I'll see you back home."
All the wolves nodded; Minho was momentarily stunned by their loyalty, but then again, werewolves had always been loyal, hadn't they? As his eyes zeroed in on Jisung, he noticed a tightness in the set of his lips, a tenseness of his shoulders. Something was bothering him, but he didn't know what.
He slowly pushed himself to his feet, dusting off his pants as he came up to join them. Some of the wolves shot him dirty looks and growled under their breaths, though they quickly piped down once Jisung fixed them with his stare.
Minho came to stand beside the wolf, and in moments Jeongin was Shifted.
Changbin slowly, gently scooped Felix up in his arms despite the light groan that escaped his lips, careful not to injure the bandaged wound on his stomach. Or any other wound he had suffered. If they didn't move him too much, he'd be fine – he hoped.
Jeongin's white wolf padded up to them, and the two others followed. Changbin carefully adjusted his Mate to hold him in one arm with a tenderness that made Minho's heart ache; he couldn't watch this, not when...
He shook his head and turned his stare towards the ground. He set his hand on Jeongin, as did Jisung. And then they were gone.
~#~#~#~#~#~
It had taken two, perhaps three leaps for them to reach the Sun pack again, and Jeongin quickly Shifted, pulling on some of the clothes Jisung still had in his backpack. It wouldn't be good if more people than necessary saw that he was a hybrid; Minho still didn't understand why it was such a bad thing, but he chose not to question it.
"Take him to the infirmary." Jisung nodded to the wolves that rushed out with a stretcher. Changbin gently laid his Mate down and rushed after them as they disappeared within the packhouse.
Minho trailed behind Jisung almost aimlessly as they began to walk – to where, he did not know. His concern for Jisung mingled with his concern for Felix, and he bit his lip as his eyes surveyed the crowd that had gathered to greet them, though no one said a word.
They all regarded them with judgement, and Minho bowed his head to avoid having them stare at him; it made him uncomfortable and self-conscious. He could see the loathing in their eyes, the blame they all placed on him.
He knew because it festered in his own heart, too.
Their party broke off until it was only the two of them opening the door to his study. Jisung collapsed in the chair, almost as though he hadn't yet noticed that Minho was still there. He breathed deeply, exhaling almost as heavily as he let his head drop in his hands.
"Are you... are you alright?" he asked, though his own voice broke. Jisung startled slightly, though he did not move his head. He nodded, but Minho knew that wasn't true. It was easy to tell with the way his shoulders tensed at the question.
He took hesitant steps forward – he still didn't know where he stood with the wolf in front of him, and he didn't want to overstep any boundaries. "I..." He swallowed thickly. "I don't think you... are..." His voice quietened, but still, Jisung did not look up; not until Minho was at his side, gently tugging at his wrists.
Minho had only ever seen Jisung cry once in all the time he'd known him, and it was still a shock to see the tears welling in his eyes despite his best efforts to hold them back. Minho didn't have to ask any questions; it was easy enough to convey what he would have asked.
"I failed, Minho. Everything I set out to do, I failed." Despite his whispering, his voice still cracked, and Minho's heart reached for him, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. So he took a seat on the desk in front of him, keeping silent.
"I went to kill the King, and I failed. I promised I'd kill that traitor if I ever saw him again, and I failed. I went to save Felix..." His voice cracked again. "And I failed." He buried his face in his hands again as he desperately tried to even his breathing. "My father left me in charge, but all I do is fail." He was back to whispering.
Minho swallowed back the lump that formed in his throat. His hands shook as he reached for the wolf again, tugging on his wrists, though when they fell he didn't let them go. "You didn't fail." He tried to smile. "You... the King was stronger than we thought, and the... traitor... didn't give you a chance to fight him. And Felix..." He cleared his throat despite the tears that welled up in his own eyes. "He's not dead yet, we can still save him."
Jisung's eyes lowered as tears slipped from them. Minho leaned forward and cupped his face, thumbs wiping away the tears that slid down his cheeks. Jisung's eyes snapped up to his, questioning, yet not resisting. "We'll figure it out together, yeah?"
The wolf slowly pulled away, leaning back in his seat as he wiped his eyes with his arm, though it did little to ease his tears. Minho knew there was more to it than what he'd expressed, but he understood easily enough. Jisung desperately blinked, trying to harden his expression, though it didn't really work with the quivering of his lips.
"You don't always have to be strong," he finally whispered, and Jisung slumped in his seat, giving up the fight he'd been putting up. He cried in a way he'd never cried before, Minho wagered, and he slowly slid off the desk to kneel at his side, pulling him into a hug.
They stayed like that for what felt like hours and yet seconds when the door burst open and a wolf thundered in. Jisung snapped up, quickly wiping his eyes, face schooled into one of strength and severity again.
"Alpha, a... a vampire has been spotted on our land. He wants to... speak with you." Minho and Jisung exchanged glances before they both hurried out the study's doors after the wolf.
A/N: So, since you asked ohohoho (seriously, I love that you played along with me on this one), I am currently in the mood to write *ahem* a fairy tale retelling, a time travel story, a zombie apocalypse story, a demon-hell-type ya, a mystery novel, even more fantasy novels, an assassin novel, a sci-fi au, a handful of more supernatural aus... yeah no I can't write all of these things yet but I need to pick one fo nANO AND I'M LOSING MY SHIT- I thought I knew what I wanted to write but alas I do nOT
Q: What type character do you this is the most difficult to write, which type is the easiest? (courtesy of 441NINE, I love you so much ugh you're saving my ass here XD)
A: If I'm completely honest, I'd say the hardest are those who are dealing with recent emotional trauma. For example, in this story, when Dongwook died, I had a really hard time figuring out how Jisung should feel, act, behave, etc. It's even harder to keep those feelings continuous as they would be in a real person -- I've had to question every single line of dialogue and action of his, and decide whether or not his emotions should surface now, or not (I'm still struggling with this, guys), especially because grief hits everyone differently and there's no clear-cut mold on how to write it, and I needed to figure out what Jisung's character needed to behave like (it was a real mess).
But parallel to this, the characters I find easiest to write are those dealing with long-term trauma and emotional distress. For example, in my novel, one of my characters' parents were killed by *blah blah blAH BLAH BLAH*, and since then their mission has been to get revenge no matter the cost. I find those easiest to write because they have a clear mission, and they have already changed as a result of their grief, while with recent emotional trauma I have to actually write the development.
Lots of love,
~Junnie