*Nanny Crowley and Warlock listening to Andrew Bird*
Nanny Crowley: Is this Queen attempting country?
*Warlock switches the music to Pink Floyd*
Warlock *Mocking nanny Crowley*: Is this Cardi B attempting bluegrass?
Nanny Crowley: *Gasps* I swear to Satan--
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Warlock: Is it against school policy to start a casino?
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Anathema: PMA, not PMS.
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Newton: It says something about me as a person when I have to resist the urge to google, "What is wrong with Matt Smith's face?"
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Crowley (to Aziraphale): I was going to let you use me as a meat shield anyways, all you had to do was ask.
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Aziraphale: Is that a cat hair or your drawing?
Crowley: My drawing.
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Shadwell: It sounds like you're throwing squash at ants.
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Brian: I think I have the Force!
Adam: I think you're waving around a leaf.
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*Crossing the street*
Crowley: I think I'ma wait for the cars.
Aziraphale: Really? I thought you would just charge out there.
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Aziraphale: How do you spell "phone"?
Crowley: 'F'! Wait...
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Newton: I memorized You'll Be Back from Hamilton and then mouthed it to my cat while dancing until she ran away. Now I'm bored.
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Shadwell: I'm going to stand really close to a swordfight to avoid getting hit with a carriage.
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Crowley: The circle of stupidity is complete.
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Aziraphale: Curiosity killed the Crowley...
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Aziraphale: I plead the fifth amendment!
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Brian: Well, I don't squish that much.
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Aziraphale: Crowley is Crowley's Crowley. Crowley is no one's Crowley but his own.
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Adam: Erase that eye from your vision.
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Aziraphale to Crowley because he touched holy water: I'm going to wash my hands because I don't feel like killing you today.
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Anathema: Humans invented language to satisfy the need to complain.
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Crowley to The Them: Let's not go selling our organs, kids.
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Hastur: I don't think there are different levels of dead.
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Crowley (trying to think of a good comeback): Your face is an object.
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Aziraphale: You dumb-dumb!
Gabriel: What did you call me?
Aziraphale: ... A piece of candy!
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Shadwell: I have you-debt and bank-debt.
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Beelzebub: I'm going to rip you off of your body.
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Aziraphale: If I hugged a warm puppy, I would feel warmer.
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Crowley: Sleep deprivation has made me smarter!
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*Crowley's phone chiming with messages of The Them's conversation while Aziraphale and Crowley are having drinks at Aziraphale's bookshop*
Crowley: Hush, children. *Looks at Aziraphale* That's what they don't realize. They're all my children.
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Brian: I hope that fish found ketchup before dying.
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Crowley: Quick, say something in response!
Crowley: Isn't this already a reply?
Crowley: But... That's not weird at all...
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Warlock: If you hit a tree, you'll get three million apples. Try it sometime.
Crowley: If you hit a tree, you'll get bloody knuckles and weird looks from people. Don't try it.
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Warlock: Oops, I have Nutella in my nail.
Crowley: Oops, they have death paste in their nail.