A/N: In an attempt to actually get this book finished, I'm forcing myself to write at set times during the days, so chapters may be coming out quicker, but I feel like the quality is dropping. Sorry about that :/ and a big thanks to anyone who is still with me!
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"Dude, I need pickles."
I glanced over at the sandwich Matt was making - if anyone could even call it that. It was a mess of marshmallow goo, potato chips, lettuce, cheese, and something else that looked like it didn't belong. "You definitely do not need pickles."
"Mm." Matt stared harder and then nodded to himself. "I need pickles."
"Oh my god," I whispered. "How high are you?"
"How high are you?" he shot back, pushing away from the kitchen counter to head for the fridge. I shook my head at him and returned my attention to my phone. Lakyn hadn't texted in awhile, but I'd learned he just did that sometimes.
"Do you think I'm a bad person?" I asked.
Matt looked confused but he shrugged as he dropped pickles onto his monstrosity. "I mean, dude, you're letting me do this, so..."
"Shut up," I said, and watched Matt cut it in half. He slid part of it my way and I hated how my stomach responded. People put jalapenos on nachos. It was basically the same thing. Just with bread.
"I'm serious." I took a bite. It was delicious. What the hell.
"You need to lay off the pot, dude," Matt said between a mouthful. "If you're going to start questioning the universe and shit, then you're too far gone."
"Lakyn doesn't think we'll be friends when we go back to school. Says my status is too important or something like that." I found an unhelpful teacher meme in my camera roll that I hadn't used on him and sent it.
"That's dumb," Matt said. "You're not that kind of guy."
"I know right?" I tapped my phone against the counter, waiting for him to reply. He didn't. I took another bite of my sandwich instead. It tasted like crap, but I kind of loved it. "I should invite him to my party."
Matt nodded along. He'd finished his half of the sandwich and was licking nutella off his fingers. "Lakyn hates parties."
"Not if they have alcohol," I pointed out.
"Dude, Lakyn hates you," Matt said.
I waved him off and grinned as my phone buzzed, expecting it to be Lakyn. The fact that it kept buzzing meant it was a phone call.
"Yikes," Matt said.
It was my father. I sighed and answered, but before I could even open my mouth, he demanded, "Where are you?"
"Matt's," I said.
"Well come home," My father demanded. He sounded like I'd asked him a stupid question and he was supplying the obvious answer. "Now."
I thought about fighting, but I'd been crashing at Matt's all week. I was sure his mother was ready for a break from me, and that my own mother was getting anxious. I sighed and shut my phone.
"Back to jail?" Matt asked, when I nodded he said, "Dude, that sucks."
"You say 'dude' a lot when you're high," I told him.
He shrugged. "I know, dude."
***
"Your junior year is coming up," Dad said. "You're growing up. Becoming a man. These next few years are very important."
"Yeah?" I said. I didn't mean for it to be a question, but it was. Mostly because I wasn't sure what he was getting at. He walked to the couch with two opened beers and handed one out to me.
"Go on," he said. "It's good for you. It'll put hair on your chest."
I side eyed him but took it. I waited until he took a drink first, and then took my own, making sure to wince at the taste like I'd never had a sip before - much less chugged enough vodka to pass out.
Dad chuckled and nodded. "That'll do it, boy. Little liquid help to get you through. It ain't gonna be easy from now on."
I waited for him to go on, but he didn't say anything else, so I took another drink of my beer. He made an encouraging motion so I took another one, then licked my lips and asked, "What are you trying to tell me, dad?"
"How to be a man, Scott! It's about time you learn how to step up! You've gotta keep your grades high to get into a good college, make good money, marry a good woman. I bet you haven't put any thought into it, have you?"
I rolled the can between my hands and didn't answer. Because I hadn't. My grades had always been what I needed them to be to stay on the football team, whatever money I had came from my allowance, and marrying a good woman. Well.
My father stood up and clapped my shoulder. "You been with a girl yet, Scott?"
"Uh," I faltered, I could feel sweat starting to gather around my hairline. I took another drink of my beer to buy time, and stared at the cross my mother had hanging on the wall above the tv.
Cross.
"The bible says to wait until marriage," I said. It wasn't an answer, so it wasn't a lie.
My father chuckled again. "You're right. But you should think about getting a move on, Scott. A little practice before your wedding night won't hurt."
He patted my shoulder before walking away from me. He already needed another beer, and I felt like I could use twenty.
"Oh, and son." He stopped just before the hallway, looking back at me with an utterly displeased expression. "Stop spending so much time at that beaners house, alright? You're not a kid anymore, people are going to start thinking you're queers."
My fist clenched around the can I was holding but I kept my mouth shut. It wouldn't do any good to start a fight. If I did, I'd be there all night.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. When I pulled it out, I had a text from Lakyn waiting.
Wanna go for a run?
***
Lakyn always ran like he was running away from something. I always wanted to jog, maybe talk, maybe flirt. Something about the way he glared at me for doing that always got my pulse racing.
But he never wanted to. He wanted to go, to run like the world was ending, to push himself until he literally collapsed onto the ground.
He stopped at the end of the block, breathing harshly, and unscrewed the lid on his water bottle so he could dump it over his head. I slowed to a stop next to him, hating the fact that I had to lean down and grip my knees. The unhealthy little bastard was faster than me.
"Why can't you just want to lift weights and show off like everyone else?"
Lakyn chuckled. "If you wanted someone like everyone else then you're barking up the wrong tree, bro."
I dipped my head and took in long breaths. "Maybe I just wanted to thirst watch you lifting something heavy."
Completely monotone, he replied, "But I have spaghetti noodle arms."
I peeked up at him, and blanked faced, he was wiggling his arms as if to make a point. I hit the ground laughing, rolling to sit on my ass and run my fingers through my sweaty hair a few times.
"I hate you," Lakyn said, but he was smiling. "You're ridiculous. That wasn't even funny."
"That was hilarious," I replied, and took the water bottle when he made to sit down next to me. He let it go without a fight.
He didn't look well. I had a feeling he wasn't sleeping, if the bags under his eyes had anything to say. I let the silence sit around us for awhile, took a few gulps of water, before asking, "What's new with you?"
Lakyn shrugged. "Got my name changed, finally."
"Oh yeah?" I asked. He hadn't mentioned it before, though he had said offhandedly that his uncle was adopting him. "But you were already a James, right?"
Lakyn nodded. "Yeah. But my first name was a hand-me-down from my father. So I took it out, and spelled Lakyn the way I like it. It used to be with an 'e'."
"Jeremy," I remembered, some long lost recollection of early school years. Lakyn's nose screwed up, but he nodded.
"That's good," I told him. "I'm happy for you."
"Thanks," he said. He plucked a blade of grass free and dropped it in front of an ant that was making it's way across the sidewalk. I watched him as he did it a few more times, creating a maze. The ant kept trying, even when Lakyn blocked his path.
"You?"
I thought about not answering at first, but insights into Lakyn's world were few and far between. What he had told me wasn't anything to take for granted. So I said, "My father decided to talk to me about being a man."
Lakyn snorted and put on a deep voice, "Now, here's what you got to do, son. Get a job, make a lot of money, keep that woman of yours barefoot and in the kitchen. She's gonna make you a sandwich every night and you're going to down it with beer while you watch questionable porn."
"That was uncomfortably accurate," I said. "I don't think I like you right now."
"Good," Lakyn answered. He let the ant go free, watched it scramble off, then pushed himself up. "Maybe you'll stop looking at me like I hung the moon or some shit like that."
"I don't look at you like that," I said.
Lakyn shot me an unimpressed look and I rolled my eyes while I stood with him. We took a moment to stretch and Lakyn said, "Race you back."
"What do I get if I win?" I asked.
"I'll hold your hand for five minutes," Lakyn said.
I gave him the middle finger and he grinned at me before taking off. He was running slower this time, though. Like whatever was chasing him had finally given up.