Allyson
"An MRI confirmed he suffered a triple ligament tear— anterior cruciate ligament, medial collateral ligament, and medial meniscus, in his right knee. He's in surgery now. They'll do a graft from his hamstring to reconstruct the ACL and repair the meniscus at the same time." I sighed into the phone and leaned forward in my chair to place my head in my free hand, focusing my eyes leave the gray-tiled floor.
Despite the chaos going on around me, I found it extremely easy to block out the hustle and bustle of the hospital waiting room. It probably had something to do with the fact that my mind was racing a mile-a-minute. All I could think about was my last conversation with Daxson. It was definitely a disaster.
I wanted nothing more than to see him again, to be by his side like he had always been for me. It was important for him to know that I loved him, I'll always love him, and so will the millions of fans who've watched him turn into the man he is today. He didn't need football to still be Daxson.
"Uh, can we do normal people terms? Some people aren't in medical school," Madison's reply broke my chain of thought and pulled me back into reality.
I fanned air toward my eyes in an effort to dry the tears welling along my eye lashes. "He hurt his knee in three different places. He's having surgery to repair it."
"Why aren't you with him?" Madison's voice was inquisitive as it echoed through the phone.
I tucked my loose hair behind my ears and managed a weak shrug even though I knew she couldn't see it. "He didn't want me to be there."
It sounded like she stopped whatever she was doing. "Excuse me? Daxson Winters, the man who is head-over-heels in love with you, the man who risked his life to save you... doesn't want you with him during something serious like this? Did he hit his head too?"
Another exasperated sigh left my lips. I knew it sounded odd, but unfortunately, it was the truth. Daxson seemed to be pushing me away instead of pulling me closer. I couldn't quite figure out why, and honestly, it bothered me the whole ride to the hospital. The reason that made the most sense in my head was that he needed a little more time to process his emotions. I mean, getting injured, and not being able to play the sport that got him so far in life, that was a lot for him to take in. Then, if you add on the fact he thought it was his last link left to his father, it must've been mentally devastating.
"I think it's just a lot to take in. I'm here to support him, not make things more difficult. I know Dax, and I know how strong he is. He'll be okay with time. I'm just giving him some space," I uttered.
Madison was quiet for a minute. "I'm proud of the woman you've become, Ally. You're so much stronger than you were when I first met you. He's really lucky to have you on his side."
I nodded and leaned back in my chair, trying not to let anymore tears leave my eyes. "Dammit, Madison. Why're you trying to make me cry?"
"Sometimes a cry is good for you," she whispered, and even though I couldn't see her, I could feel that she was smiling.
I remained quiet as I blinked the tears away.
My silence gave her permission to continue talking. "Please remember Keith and I are sending prayers your way, and if either of you need anything, we're always here."
"Thanks, girl. No matter how many miles apart we are, you're my bestie for life." I cleared my throat and glanced down at the sparkling ring on my finger. "So, are you ready for your wedding?"
"No! I'm not ready at all. The closer it gets, the more stressed I am. I just have so much to do..." It sounded like Madison slammed something down on a table on the other end of the line. "It'd be a lot easier if my Maid of Honor was here."
Madison asked me to be her Maid of Honor almost immediately after she got engaged, but the distance between us made things difficult. She was still in Alabama finishing up her double major in communications and fashion design while I was struggling through medical school at Harvard. I tried to help the best I could from far away, but I knew it wasn't enough to lessen her stress levels.
I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I know. Your bachelorette party is coming up soon though. You'll have me all to yourself, so maybe we can get stuff done that weekend."
"As long as we can still fit some party time in there," she replied with a laugh. "And I'm talking the works— blackout drunk, strippers, lingerie, everything."
"Mmhm. Trust me, Camila and I got this. Your last night as a single lady will be one to remember—" I paused and smiled at the thought of us all being together again. "—or not remember."
I couldn't even put into words how much I missed my girls since Daxson and I moved to Massachusetts. During my freshman year at Alabama, Madison and Camila had been my rocks. They saved me in more ways than one.
"Good." There was a static ruffling one the other end of the phone. "Cause as much as I love Keith, he can be a bit of a square. I need a little excitement before I settle."
I chuckled. "I understand."
"No, no you don't. You're engaged to a superstar athlete. Your life is only excitement." She chatted away with someone else before turning her attention back to the phone. "Alright, Ally. I've got to get back to work, but keep me updated if anything else happens."
"Will do," I whispered, ending the call and setting my phone down in the seat next to me.
I stared at my engagement ring that glittered beneath the bright lights of the waiting room. Madison was right. My life was full of excitement, but I'd give anything for it to be normal. I didn't fall in love with Daxson because of his fame or the opportunity for fortune, but because my life was better with him in it.
When I met him, I admired the fact that he wanted something more than the NFL. He wanted to help his family, influence the next generation of teens through coaching, and be the dad to his children that his father didn't get the chance to be. I was still waiting for those pieces of Daxson to emerge despite the adversity he was facing, but they seemed to be buried pretty deep.
I looked away from my ring when a nurse in bright blue scrubs ran past me, rolling an emergency cart in front of her. "We have a code! Level one trauma. Child is actively seizing. ST waiting room. STAT."
A few other hospital employees rushed past me as the waiting room suddenly became chaotic and crowded. Amid the mayhem, Jasmine burst through the waiting room doors with a frantic look on her face. Her dark braids whipped against her cheeks as she rushed to the receptionist at the check-in desk completely oblivious to the situation going on around her.
"I'm looking for my son, Daxson Winters. They transferred him here for surgery," she pleaded desperately.
The receptionist ignored her because she was busy handing out directions to other employees assisting with the emergency in the waiting room. Jasmine's face was shrouded in anger at the lack of attention to her question.
"Excuse me!" Jasmine slammed her hand down onto the desk.
The receptionist's head snapped in her direction. "I will help you in a minute, Miss. We have an emergency to handle first."
Jasmine leaned across the desk. "I have an emergency going on, too. My son was brought here for surgery, and I demand to know what's going on. Do you understand?"
I could only imagine how Jasmine was feeling, but I also understood that the receptionist was trying to help save a child's life. Unfortunately, it's easy to forget that your problems aren't the only problems occurring in the world.
"Hey Momma J!" I called, standing from my chair and hurrying over to her.
"Oh, Ally!" She threw her arms around me and squeezed tightly. "I'm so glad you're here. I wasn't going to get any help from anyone here." Her eyes cut to the receptionist.
"Of course I'm here. They would have gladly helped you, but they were dealing with an emergency concerning a child," I mumbled against her shoulder, giving the receptionist an apologetic look.
"I tried to get here as fast as I could." Jasmine gave me one last breath-taking squeeze. "Where is he?"
"He's still in surgery. They should be finishing up soon." I took a step away from her to give us both a little space.
"Was the injury bad? They never showed a replay on the T.V., so I didn't get to see exactly what happened." She situated her large purse on her arm as she studied my face.
I managed a stiff nod. "He suffered what they call an 'unhappy triad'."
"So, football..."
I shook my head before she could finish her sentence. "At first, I thought there was still a chance, but once the doctor showed me the MRI results, it was clear the damage was too severe. Sadly, he'll never be able to play at the professional level again. This risk of further injury is just too great."
"Does he know that?" She asked softly unable to hide the glint of sadness in her eyes.
I tucked my hair behind my ear. "Yes. The surgeon told me they made it pretty clear to him."
"Is he taking everything okay?" Her brown eyes searched my face for a positive answer.
Her question was like a double-edged sword. As a medical student, I knew Daxson's body would heal after the surgery. It would take some long months of physical therapy, but physically he'd be okay; however, as his fiancé, I knew he would struggle mentally. I'd already witnessed it.
"Can I be honest?"
Jasmine's dark eyes were filled with deep concern. "Always."
"It'll take time and lots of painful physical therapy, but he'll physically heal. What concerns me is his mental state. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he's taking this injury pretty hard." I sighed and glanced at my shoes. "I think it shattered all his plans. It took away a piece of him, and I feel like I'm seeing flashes of who he told me he used to be, you know, the Daxson right after he lost his father."
Jasmine's purse dropped to the floor after the words left my mouth, leaving her to scramble and pick it up.
"Are you okay?" I questioned, reaching my hand out to her.
She shook her head as she gathered her purse and moved to sit down in a nearby chair. "I-I... I can't lose him again, Allyson. I just got him back."
My heart broke seeing her fall apart. I didn't want to lose Daxson, and I definitely didn't want to see her lose him, either. I sat beside her and took her hand, forcing her eyes to flicker to mine. She was such a strong woman, having survived everything God had thrown at her, but for the first time I could see the weakness in her eyes. The fear of losing another person she loved was real. She couldn't hide it anymore.
"I promise it'll be okay." I ran my thumb back and forth across the top of her hand in a soothing motion. "You won't lose him again."
She took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm herself down. "Losing his father... It really broke him. It left him with an unimaginable amount of guilt and anger. I wanted to take that away, but I couldn't do it. Nobody could."
"He knows that," I whispered, tilting my head to study her features. "He knows it was something you couldn't control."
"As a parent, I wanted nothing more than to protect my children, but I can't protect them from the hatred of other people. There's nothing I can do to protect them from the racial injustice that they will have to deal with their entire life." She hung her head to stare at our hands between us.
"You've done an amazing job with your children, Momma J. Don't sell yourself short," I whispered, wishing I could take away all of her negative feelings.
"It was hard to do it alone, without their father. He was the strength of the household. I used to compare him to the gears on a clock because he's what kept us all going." She glanced at me with a soft smile at the sweet memory of her husband.
"He was a good man. I can tell by the way your family talks about him, especially Daxson. He was his idol."
I wished that my father was even half the man that her husband used to be. It's unfair to see God take away a life that meant so much to so many people yet let cruel people like my father live on. I think the only thing that would justify my feelings is to see my father put behind bars next month.
"Apart from me, I feel like Daxson suffered the most from the whole ordeal. Football was his escape from a painful reality. It was the one thing his father gave him that he thought no one could take away, and to hear that it's being ripped away from him, too..." Her shoulders heaved as she lowered her head and burst into silent tears. "He doesn't deserve this. No one deserves to have so many things taken from them."
I couldn't disagree with her because she was speaking the truth. No one deserved to lose the people and things they loved, but the truth of the matter was, it happens. It happened everyday to people all over the world. It was something they had to learn to deal with. I was always taught that God wouldn't put you through something hard in life unless he thought you were strong enough to get through it.
"He still has so much though," I whispered, rubbing my hand across her back. "He has you and me, and Demarcus and Alexis and Malik. He has a teaching degree so he can take the knowledge his father gave him and pass it down to a new generation. He still has the opportunity to be an amazing father and role model."
Jasmine wiped away a few tears trailing down her cheeks. "You're right. His journey isn't over, this is just a new road he has to travel. I just hope he will take the new road instead of going back down the old one."
"That's why he has us, and I know you raised him in a Baptist home, so—" I offered her a warm smile. "— we all need to remember if He brought you to it, then He will bring you through it."
With a deep breath, she regained her composure and brushed her braids over her shoulders. She turned her body toward me until our knees touched and took both my hands in hers. I focused on her eyes that were much darker than Daxson's golden ones. Jasmine's eyes were a deep brown - the color of the earth after torrential rains. But there was something else in them, something glistening. It was like they held an unknown resolve.
"Allyson, I can't put into words how much you mean to me, to my family, and most importantly, how much you mean to my son. You're a beautiful soul who has willingly opened her heart to love despite the way you were raised. I admire you for that."
I glanced down at our hands. "Thanks, Momma J. You know Daxson, and well all of you, mean everything to me. You've become my family."
"And as family, we have to stick together. I already know Daxson won't listen to me as he goes through this adjustment... He'll push me away just like he did when he lost his father. He didn't have Jacie to help him either, but he has you now." She lifted her finger to force my chin up and my eyes to meet hers. "You have to stick by his side. It's up to you to pick up all these pieces that have shattered and stick them back together all over again."
"I promise I will," I whispered.
She squeezed my hands one last time before releasing them. I lifted my eyes in time to see Dr. Naguski enter the waiting room in green scrubs, his black hair sticking out from beneath a sterile hair net. He removed green gloves and tossed them into a trash can before picking up a folder and studying it. His large brown eyes scanned the contents of the folder for a few minutes before setting it back down. He had the lithe movement of an athlete as he approached us and the easy smile of one visiting a dear friend.
"Allyson, and Ms. Winters, I assume?" He asked, sticking out his hand to Jasmine.
Jasmine shook his hand firmly. "Yes, sir. Are you the surgeon who operated on my son?"
He chuckled and nodded. "Yes ma'am, I am. I wanted to inform you that Daxson's surgery went very well. He's still out from the anesthesia, but should be waking up soon."
He went on to explain what they did during the surgery and with each word, his fingers would spread into the stagnant hospital air and then settle back at his side. Despite Dr. Naguski's young age, it didn't bother me that he had been Daxson's surgeon because his hands were beautiful, precise, and elegant.
"Thank you so much for taking care of my son," Jasmine replied, shaking his hand.
I rose from my feet and shook his hand as well. Once he left us, we gathered our things to move to Daxson's hospital room. It'd been about four hours since Daxson's injury occurred and the news had spread quickly. Despite him leaving the game, the Patriots had still won by one point, but now everyone's attention would turn to the injured superstar. I wasn't surprised to be greeted by the media on Daxson's floor as we stepped off the elevator. We fought off the swarms of reporters who had managed to discover where he had been transferred to.
"Allyson! You and Daxson recently announced your engagement. How does his injury affect your future?" One reported shouted.
I rolled my eyes. I hated when the media tried to intervene in our personal lives. I mean, I knew he was a superstar, but he's also a human being.
"It doesn't. No more questions. We need time as a family," I barked back, grabbing Jasmine's arm and pulling her further down the hallway.
Hospital security blocked the flickering of cameras and yells from the media, forcing them down the hallway and toward the elevator. We stepped into Daxson's room at the end of the hallway and I almost burst into tears at the sight of him laying in the bed. He appeared to be awake, but still a little groggy.
"Hey, Dax." I dropped my bag by an empty chair and hurried over to the side of his bed.
"Hey," he mumbled, adjusting his body in the bed to sit up more. He winced with the movement of his leg and sighed. "Can you let the nurse know I need more pain meds?"
I tilted my head to study his face. "Are you sure? They probably just gave you some after surgery."
"Just do it, Ally," his tone was sharp with annoyance and his eyes darkened. He looked away from me to acknowledge his mother. "I'm surprised you got here this fast."
"I was on the first flight from Mississippi as soon as I heard, baby. I was worried about you," she said, walking over to the other side of his bed. "But it's good to know that you're okay."
He mumbled a response to her, but I wasn't listening because I left his bed to step out into the hallway. A nurse in blue scrubs stopped to check on me.
"Hey, can I help you with something?" She asked, peering around me to check the number of the room I had exited.
"Yeah, my fiancé, Daxson Winters, just had surgery to repair a triple ligament tear. He's saying he's in pain and would like something remedy that." I studied her beaming white smile and blue eyes outlined in black eyeliner.
The nurse nodded. "I'll talk to Dr. Naguski. It shouldn't be a problem to get him some more even if he has had some. He's fresh out of surgery so I'm sure his pain level is high."
"But please don't overdo it. I know he's in pain, but too many narcotics won't be beneficial for him," I said, tucking my hair behind my ears.
"Of course not. We know how to do our job, Miss." She patted my shoulder and continued down the hallway, leaving me standing alone.
I sighed and glanced over my shoulder to watch Daxson and his mother deep in conversation. His body language was a clear give away to his mood. His shoulders were tense, he avoided eye contact, and he was shifted away from her to the furthest side of his bed.
I knew this would be a long process, and whether Daxson believed it or not, he would need me by his side. But it was hard for me to adjust to this new side of him. He had poured so much warmth into our relationship but then, without hesitation he turned on the cold to shut me out. I knew he loved me, but every time he pushed away, it hurt. It was emotionally draining, and I was at the point to where I was too weak to even whip a gnat. But I had promised his mother to put the pieces back together, and that's exactly what I planned to do.