Another week passed, and it was the worst one yet. Hansol could barely bring himself to look Seungkwan in the eyes, let alone hang out with him.
No movie nights, no cuddles, no nothing. Hansol was pretty much icing out everybody, but Seungkwan was certainly getting the brunt of the impact.
Seungkwan was upset, obviously. He tried to get Hansol to hang out with him at first, but eventually gave up.
He hated not getting attention from his best friend.
The rest of the group certainly picked up on their problem. The whole group vibe just hadn't been right; it was exactly what Hansol was afraid of.
By the end of the week, Seungcheol had enough of the ridiculousness. He called a meeting with Jeonghan, Jisoo, Jihoon, and Soonyoung. They all went into his bedroom, waiting expectantly for Seungcheol to tell them something.
"What going on, Cheolie?" Jisoo asked, picking up on Seungcheol's uneasy demeanor.
"Seungkwan and Hansol aren't speaking to each other after the...incident last week. We've got to fix it," he said simply, sitting on the edge of his bed, jiggling his leg impatiently.
Soonyoung sighed, rubbing his forehead, "Anyone got any ideas?"
"And..just so we're all up to speed here, we all know about 'the situation', right?" Seungcheol added, raising an eyebrow as he eyed up the guys.
Jisoo cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair, "Is 'the situation' the thing about Hansol and Seungkwan have a ton of romantic tension but they don't know it yet, and we all know about it, but they don't that we know that they don't know about what they probably don't want us to know, but we know that they know that we know-"
"-Yes, Jisoo, that..is right," Seungkwan cut him off, "Anyway, what are we gonna do about this?"
"Guys guys guys.." Jeonghan said confidently, taking a step forward, "Leave this to the romance expert."
Jihoon raised an eyebrow in confusion, "who?"
"Me!" Jeonghan stamped his foot on the ground, pouting, "I'm the romance exp-ugh never fucking mind, just let me handle this," he huffed, leaving the bedroom and coming downstairs to the living room, where the rest of the members were.
Jihoon, Soonyoung, Seungcheol, and Jisoo followed him down there.
"Seungkwan, Hansol," the vocalist commanded briskly, snapping his fingers, "Come here."
The two hesitantly approached from opposite sides of the room, avoiding eye contact with each other.
"Can you two go to the grocery store for me, we're out of..Soju and...rice noodles" he explained, a polite smile on his face.
He could see that they were ready to give him some kind of excuse, so he continued, "Please, for your hyungie?"
They both sighed, nodding. They walked to the door, putting on their shoes and quickly leaving the dorm.
-
The ride to the store was painfully awkward. Seungkwan drove, thankfully; he's a pretty good driver.
Hansol kept his head down and his mouth shut. He hadn't been alone with him in over a week, it felt almost weird. He missed it, yes, but he was also wildly uncomfortable.
Before he knew it, they were pulling into the parking lot. Seungkwan parked and shut off the Pledis van, unbuckling his seatbelt, "I don't have any pockets, can you hold onto these?" He mumbled, tossing the keys at Hansol and getting out of the van.
Hansol was surprised by Seungkwan even speaking to him. He scrambled to get his wallet and phone and shove them in his pockets before exiting the car.
The entered the store, Hansol grabbing a basket, and they headed down the noodle isle.
Seungkwan grabbed a pack of rice noodles off the shelf and tossed them into the basket, "Kobe," he said, chuckling to himself, stopping when Hansol didn't laugh or even look up from the floor.
They went to the next isle, getting a bottle of soju and putting it in the basket.
They continued to walk through the store, in the general direction of the check out.
"Do you want any Melona while we're here? Or some microwave Tteokbokki?" Seungkwan asked, putting a hand on Hansol's shoulder.
Hansol immediately tensed up, stepping away from him, "I-I'm good, thanks." He managed to mumble through a half-closed mouth.
He sighed, "Ok, let's just go then.."
They went through self check out, scanning the items and paying.
While they were in the store, it apparently started pouring rain outside, not to mention the wind was strong enough to blow a tree over, "Jesus, where did that come from?" Seungkwan mumbled as they exited the grocery store with their bags. Of course, no response from Hansol.
They got to the Pledis van, Hansol put the bags on the roof of it while he went to get the keys to unlock it.
He checked the front pockets. No keys.
Back pockets? No keys.
"Hansol, what's the hold up? We're getting soaked out here!" Seungkwan had to raise his voice over the storm. He walked around to the passenger side of the van where Hansol was, "I gave you the keys didn't I?!"
Hansol instinctively took a step back from him, looking into the passenger window of the van...where the keys were.
He locked them inside.
The two apparently realized it at the same time, "Seungkwan, I'm so sorry.." Hansol slowly said, looking up at him. His hair was now wet, hanging in front of his face like a mop. He took another step away, "I'm sorry.."
Seungkwan brushed his hair out of his face, taking a step toward him, "Hansol, what the fuck his wrong?!" He yelled, startling Hansol. Seungkwan almost NEVER got angry.
"I-I didn't realize I left the keys-"
"-That's not what I fucking mean!" He continued, bracing Hansol by the shoulders so he couldn't back away, "You haven't spoken to me in a week!"
Hansol's heart dropped into his chest, a lump forming in his throat. His brain was firing on all cylinders trying to think of an escape plan from this conversation, but he was coming up short on all fronts. He just stood there, too shocked to say anything. He wanted to cry, or run away, or something.
He felt like a bomb about to explode.
"You've been acting weird around me for MONTHS. Ever since..ever since the MAMAs! What the fuck is going on?!" He took a step closer, his fists clenching. They were both now soaked because of the rain.
The fuse was lit, and getting closer to the bomb by the second. Hansol couldn't take it any more. He was shaking, his hair slicked to his forehead, falling into his eyes and partially obscuring his vision.
"I need answers! Give me answers! I need to know why you've been acting this way, Hansol!" Seungkwan demanded, an exasperated rasp to his voice as he yelled over a loud boom of thunder.
He took a step closer to Hansol, poking an angry finger at him. They were standing right in front of each other now, "Please, just tell me!"
The bomb exploded.
Hansol grabbed him by the wet collar, he roughly smashed his lips onto Seungkwan's, squeezing his eyes shut. Their teeth clashed, their mouths didn't move together naturally.
It wasn't the cute, romantic picture he'd painted in his mind of their first real kiss.
It was ugly, anger-fueled, and borderline sexual assault.
He didn't know why he did it, he regretted it as soon as it happened.
He pulled away, shoving Seungkwan away and dramatically wiping his mouth on his sleeve, letting out a ragged breath, "That's Why! I'm in love with you, Seungkwan, fucking sue me!" He shouted, his voice cracking badly. He briefly covered his hand with his mouth, taking a step toward him again, "I'm fucking in love with you," he whispered, his vision started to blur from both tears and rain, he swallowed down a strangled sob, "I'm-I-I'm in love with you..Seungkwan," it was so quiet that time, he didn't even know if he said it outloud.
Hansol didn't care anymore. Everything was out in the open so he had nothing to lose. He let out a sob, his gaze falling back down to the ground. He cried, shamelessly. His chest ached, his stomach was in knots, and his whole body was shivering and wet. He wanted to disappear.
Seungkwan was frozen on the spot for several seconds, unsure of what to say or do. He was in shock, for obvious reasons.
Another beat of painful silence passed.
He lurched foward, wrapping his arms around Hansol, pulling him close.
He gripped the boy as tight as he could, stroking the back of his head gently.
Hansol relaxed into the hug, weakly wrapping his arms around Seungkwan's torso, gripping his now-soaked tshirt for some purchase. He sobbed into Seungkwan's shoulder, his legs buckling underneath him slightly.
They both slowly lowered down to the ground, sitting up against the side of the van, still hugging tightly.
"Shh, it's ok, Solie.." Seungkwan cooed gently, also shivering since the rain had soaked through all of his clothes, "It's ok..."
Hansol didn't have the energy or mental capacity at that moment to have any sort of logical thought. All he could do was cling on to Seungkwan like a drunken koala until he'd calmed down.
It took several minutes, but officially he let go of Seungkwan, pulling away slightly and looking him in the eyes, "Seungkwan..I love you so much," he sniffled, wiping his eyes, "I'm so sorry."
Seungkwan scooted a bit closer, placing a comforting hand on Hansol's shoulder , "Don't be," he said, "Don't apologize for the way you feel...Ok well for future reference, the non-consentual kiss might garner an apology...but in this case, it's all good. We can move past it."
Hansol nodded in reply, wiping some rain off of his face as he chuckled politely. He slowly let go of Seungkwan's hand, standing up, "I'm gonna go ask the store manager if they've got a lock picking kit or something because we can't stay in the rain forever," he yelled over a rumble of thunder.
-
After a dreadful 15 minutes, Hansol was able to open the car door with a wire hanger. Upon retrieving the keys, they piled inside the car, sighing. They were both completely soaked, though they didn't think much about whether or not they were dirtying the interior of the car.
Seungkwan started the car and they drove off, headed home.
"I'm sorry again, about the keys," Hansol mumbled as they pulled out onto the road. He bit his lip, glancing at Seungkwan.
He smirked, leaning back in the driver's seat, "Water under the bridge. Of course, I'll definitely clown you for it for at least another week," he chuckled, nudging Hansol on the shoulder.
The two continued their usual banter during the rest of the drive. It was just like old times; no awkwardness, no weirdness. Seungkwan acted as if their little conversation never even happened, and even though he wanted to be happy about it, Hansol was still upset.
Of course he was, he'd just gotten rejected.
Seungkwan moved past Hansol's confession so swiftly and without any follow up questions; the only explanation was that he was rejecting Hansol but didn't want their friendship to be messed up, so he just bulldozed right through the whole situation.
'Oh well, I guess I've just got to get over him now lol.'
They returned home to the dorms, trudging into the living room with exhausted looks on their faces, "Jeonghan-hyung, we've got your precious soju!" Seungkwan loudly announced, holding up the grocery bags triumphantly.
Most of the members were in their own rooms, except for Jeonghan and Seungcheol, who were in the kitchen and living room respectively.
"Ooh thank you so much got going to the store!" Jeonghan came rushing into the living room, "Oh my god! You boys are soaked, aren't you!? How did this happen?"
"I accidentally locked us out the car for 20 minutes.." Hansol mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing up at Jeonghan.
Seungcheol got up from the couch, approaching the three, nonverbally joining the conversation.
He rubbed his forehead, letting out a small sigh, "Did..did anything else eventful happen?"
Hansol blanched, half-expecting him to spill the beans about what Hansol did. His gaze wavered between Seungkwan and Jeonghan anxiously.
Seungkwan hesitated for a moment before answering, "No. That was it. Here's the groceries," he said shortly, handing him the bags, "I'm gonna go shower and go to bed. Goodnight," he said speed walking to the bathroom.
Hansol stood there for a moment, frozen, recalling the events of earlier. What he said, how Seungkwan reacted. Suppose it was simply a delayed reaction, but it didn't hit him until then, "It's over..It's all over," he whispered hoarsely, the moment Seungkwan was out of earshot; he could practically feel his heart breaking into a hundred pieces. He walked over to Seungcheol, wrapping his arms around him and burying his head in his shoulder, "It's all over," his face felt hot, a lump forming in his throat again, "I'm so stupid.."
Seungcheol wrapped his arms around the poor boy, Jeonghan approached them and did the same. Hansol didn't have to explicitly say what happened for them to understand.
"Aw, it's ok, baby," Jeonghan cooed, rubbing Hansol's back and giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Unrequited love is just a part of life. I'm sorry you had to go through it this way."
"I-I told him-I t-told him I love him.." He mumbled into Seungcheol's shoulder, "I kissed him. Why did I kiss him?!"
Seungcheol sighed, running his fingers through Hansol's hair, "Sometimes our feelings are so strong that we don't know how to properly express them..and it makes us do stupid things," he gently explained, wiping a stray tear off Hansol's cheek, "I know it doesn't feel like it, but you'll move on. You and Seungkwan's friendship doesn't have to be ruined."
Hansol pulled away from his hyungs, sniffling, "Y-you're right..I'll b-be fine," he said, trying as hard as he could to not burst out into tears, "I'm gonna go ahead and g-go to bed.."
"Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it or anything?" Jeonghan asked.
He shook his head as he walked away, "No th-thank you. Goodnight, hyungs," he mumbled, disappearing from their field of vision as he walked down the hall, toward his bedroom.