Part 2 of: That's mean.
You: I didnt really like the Last Jedi.
Peter: What why?!
You: Lea could've had a beautiful death, but nooo, she can use the FORCE now!
It's just random and unnecessary.
Peter: I liked it.
You: Well good for you. This ice cream's really good by the way.
" Sup, dickwad"
Peter: jesus christ.
Flash: Who's this, another one of your loser friends?
You: Your hair is ugly.
Flash: What?
You: I said your hair is ugly, asshole.
Flash: Do you know who you're messing with?
You: A high schooler with daddy issues?
Peter: Just leave us alone, Flash.
Flash: What'd you say, Penis Parker.
You: Oh, were coming up with hurtful nicknames now, uhh, you can be Rash.
Peter: Flash, leave us alone please.
Flash: And what If I don't, your boyfriend's gonna beat me?
You: That would be a fun activity.
Flash: Shut up, you fag.
Peter punched Flash in the face, wait WHAT?!
He finally taught him a lesson.
Peter: Don't insult Y/N ever again, or I won't hesitate to hospitalise you, got it?
Then Rash, sorry Flash, ran away.
You: I am so turned on right now.
Time skip
You: Wait, aren't you 17?
Peter: My birthday's in 3 weeks.
You: I have to wait that long?
Peter: To do what?
You: I could still kiss your cheek, I guess.
And so you did.
You: I love it when you blush. See you soon, Pete. This was nice.
Peter: b-Bye!
At the avengers tower:
Tony: Where were you?
You: I was just walking around with Peter.
Clint: I hope you enjoyed your "walk".
Thor: I've never needed to walk, I can fly.
Tony: Wait, did you go on a date, with Pete? He's 17!
You: I didn't do anything, I'm waiting until he turns 18.
Tony: Are you gonna wait 4 months to kiss him?
You: His birthday's in 3 weeks, you're like a father figure to him, he would be hurt if he knew.
Tony: I still can't let you date him, you're a bad influence.
You: How so?
Tony: 2 months ago you were making out with a random dude on the street.
You: That was my boyfriend!
Tony: So now you're cheating on him and lying to Peter.
You: Allow me to clarify, my EX-boyfriend.
Tony: I wont let him date... a guy.
You: Says the playboy.
Tony: I'm the reason you live here, dont be disrespectful. Stay. Away. From. Peter.
Later that night:
Steve: Tony?
Tony: Yes, Steve?
Steve: Why would you do that?
Tony: Do what?
Steve: Peter and Y/N can date whoever they want, I can't believe you.
Tony: You're from the 40s and you're not homophobic?
Clint: How dare you?
Natasha: You're a slut, and you dare insult the LGBTQ.
Clint: I'm bisexual.
Natasha: I'm a lesbian.
Steve: I'm...pansexual.
Bruce: And I'm asexual.
Thor: I'm Ponysexual.
Clint: Excuse me what?
Thor: I am attracted to multiple genders.
Bruce: Do you mean polysexual?
Thor: That makes more sense, I was wondering what baby pandas had to do with my hormones.
Clint: Ponies are...
Natasha: Let's just focus on the task at hand.
Tony: Come on Banner, you understand science, it doesn't make sense, how could you possibly be attracted to nothing? You have hormones, what are they for?
You: They probably transferred to your body, you literally have a boner for no reason.
Peter: Hi, Mr. Stark.
Tony: It's 11pm, what are you doing here?
Peter: I just finished patrolling the city, sir. I...wanted to say goodni...
Tony: Also why are you dating a male teammate?
Steve: Oh... so that's also an issue apparently.
Peter: Mr. Stark, i don't understand, what are you...
Tony: He's (adult age) , you're 17! He's part of the team, and he's a He. You can't date him.
Peter: Y/N, did you rape me?
You: Oh, I see where this is going. Do you consent to a romantic relationship by the time you're 18? Because I do.
Peter: I do too, and since we're in New York, this is completely legal, so get off my back you homophobic WHORE!
You just started laughing.
You: This is proof, you were such a dick PETER shouted at you, and he called you a WHORE!!!
Tony: Give me your suit, you date him, you're both off the team.
You: For me it's worth it, but I dont know about...
Peter: Ok, you could use it as a jiz rag for all I care.
You: I'm starting to think I AM a bad influence.
Peter: Wait, where are you gonna live?
You: Oh, here, Tony doesn't actually have the authority to kick me out, this building is S.H.I.E.L.D property now, and I signed a contract.
Tony: What? But it still belongs to me.
You: Tony, I read the fineprint, as boring as it may be, it does help. Remember that kids.
Peter: What was that?
You: Foreshadowing.
823 words
Part 3?
At some point in time?