I never thought it would be like this. The lies pierced my mind as I sat in front of that giant old screen absorbing all that I saw. It was supposed to be the best time of my life. Four years full of petty fights, long-forgotten nights, and party lights. Friends that you find and the ones who are there during your future.
It was supposed to be stressful nights, studying for exams. Pushing off assignments and still getting that A. Learning things that I never knew. Information that was useless but perfect for awkward situations. It was supposed to be finding yourself as you discover who you are. Trying out for new clubs that you never thought you would enjoy. Making friends with people you never thought you would be friends with.
Nobody told me that I would find myself sitting in a crowd of people and feeling so alone. It was never shared that I would be the one making sure people were okay but at the end of the day, I would be forgotten. Late nights with friends are instead late nights at work, praying for the shift to end. Instead of petty fights, it's a war inside your mind. It's laying on the floor of your bedroom staring at the chipped paint on your ceiling wondering why they hurt you. Why me? They tell you it's your fault. It's your fault he raped you. It's your fault you are failing. It's your fault you can't keep friends.
It's all your fault
It's all your fault
It's all my fault