Luna Livingston
"Clear out your desk and don't worry about coming in tomorrow. We appreciate your hard work over the years here at Penguin Publishing, but we think it's best if we move on."
I stared up at Mrs. Winston with big, shocked eyes. I came into her office with the idea I was going to be getting promoted, not fired!
"There's got to be some sort of mistake, right?" I asked, desperately. I'd given my best years to Penguin Publishing, I'd given them some of my best work and I just couldn't believe my ears. I never thought this day would come, at least not so soon.
Mrs. Winston sighed and dropped her head. "Luna, dear.." She started. "When you first started here, your stories were full of life. So happy and cheerful. I don't know what happened these last couple of months." She held up my latest piece of work. "What is this? This dark mess? No one wants to read that!"
"Mrs. Winston, those stories were all false. I want to write something true. Something I felt. That 'dark mess' you're referring to is my life. I want to share my depression with others who may understand what I'm going through." She shook her head.
"So you mean to tell me your mother really has Stage four cancer of the pancreas? And that your father really hung himself?"
I dropped my gaze from her to the floor. "Yes."
About a year ago, straight out of college, I accepted a job at Penguin Publishing and I thought I was on top of the world. I was never one to believe that a string of good luck meant bad things were coming, but life proved me wrong. My mother, who was the healthiest one of the family had been diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer out of nowhere.
My dad and I prayed for a miracle as mother went through her chemo. Endless prayers each and everyday, but none seemed to reach God's ears. Her next appointment showed the cancer had not only gotten stronger, but spread and she was now at stage four. Not being able to take it, I came home the next day to Dad hanging from a noose in the living room. I hadn't been the same since.
"It's just not possible. There's no way you're going through all this and still coming to work." She laughed and waved me away with her hand. "Please clear out your desk, Ms. Livingston. I'd be more than happy to write you a letter of recommendation to anywhere you want. But please leave. Don't make this hard." I nodded slowly and grabbed my book from her desk and stood up.
"Thanks for the opportunity." I said lowly, hopefully so she wouldn't hear my voice cracking. I turned on my heel and led myself out of her office.
What was I going to do now?
As I opened my desk, I found myself just raking things carelessly into a crate. I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. Writing had been my passion for so long. For as long as I could remember, and now what? I felt like I was too old to start over, and I felt like I was too invested in writing to take up another trade. So what now?
As I reached the bottom of my desk I saw something that caught my eye. It was a picture of me, I'm guessing around the time I first started work. I remember my hair was blond then, so it must've been. I noticed my small baby bump and immediately felt on my empty stomach now. I had on a casual white collar shirt and a blue khaki skirt, with my curls tied back in a fishtail braid. Why didn't I remember this? I turned the photo on its back.
Luna,
I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your first day party, but just know I'm rooting for you even when you don't see me in the stands. You looked so cute this morning in your church skirt, so I had to snap a pic. Yes, I hid this, so when you find it, you feel motivated? I guess? Anyways, this is the moment you waited your whole life for, so make it count. Me and the baby love you forever and even after that.
-Chris.
I immediately ripped the picture in half and stuffed it in the crate with the rest of my stuff. What a horrible way to end an even more horrible day.
"So, now what? You'll probably have to move now, huh?" My best friend, Kate said to me. After sending her a text letting her know I'd been fired, she offered to take me to dinner to talk. Since I no longer had steady income, I decided to take all the free stuff I could get.
"I'm not sure, Kate." I sipped my lemonade slowly. "I've wrote my whole life and now that I've been told basically I'm no good at it, I'm re-evaluating everything." She nodded her head as if she understood, but I just know she didn't. Kate and my cousin Kendall had opened a salon together not too long after high school. They offered me a share of the business, but no. I just had to go to college.
And look where that got me.
"I don't feel like you necessarily have to just stop writing. Forget Mrs. Winston and what she thinks. Just go to another writing job."
"It's not that easy. Penguin Publishing is that writing place. It's like Jay-Z telling you, you can't rap, or Adele saying you can't sing."
Her eyes got large and she reached across the table and touched my hand. "This is just one bad thing, Luna. There'll be other jobs, I'm sure. Worse things have happened to other people." She dropped her hand continued to eat her broccoli soup.
"Worse things like your mom having cancer?" I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Was Mrs. Winston right? Was I becoming too dark?
Kate didn't look up at me. "I know you're juggling a lot right now and I don't want you to worry. You can stay with me until you're feeling better, or at least until you find another job.
I gave her a sympathetic smile. "Thanks, but no thanks. I may go move back in with Mom to help her out a little."
Kate nodded again. "Okay, well, the offer is still on the table, girl. Just keep your head up and know I'm always here to vent if you need me." I didn't respond to her because the last person that said that to me killed themselves. And the person before that, that'd said that to me left me when I needed them the most.
"Hey, Ma. How we feeling today?" I walked into my Mom's house and took off my shoes at the door. My mom always hated when I walked around her house with my shoes on.
She looked up from her laptop and smiled at me. "Hey, baby. I'm doing okay. I feel weak, but other than that, fine. How are you doing? Did you find a job?" She talked slowly and quietly. She looked so feeble, but yet she was so strong.
I chuckled softly. "Nobody is hiring in my field."
"So try another field."
I stayed quiet. She always seemed to know just the thing to say, and she always seemed to be correct. Whether I wanted her to be or not.
"So, I've been doing a lot of thinking on what I'm gonna do with Tumbling Tots once I make my departure and I think I wanna leave it to you and Kendall." I gulped. Although, we all knew it was gonna happen, I hated talking about Ma's departure from this world. It just made it seem real.
As long as I could physically see her in front of me, I chose not to believe it. I chose to be oblivious, and while that was a sucky thing for me to do, I had to do it. I just could not fathom being in this world without my mother.
Everyone I'd ever said I didn't want to live without eventually left though, so I knew it was coming. I just couldn't deal with that now.
Tumbling Tots was my mom's daycare business she started from the ground up. She always adored kids and it was one of the only things that she prided herself in doing. Hearing that she wanted to leave it to Kendall and I warmed my heart and it did make me feel good to know I'd still have a piece of her, had her departure come earlier than I'd hoped.
Hi, Everyone! This was just a filler-type chapter to introduce the characters (somewhat). Please comment and tell me what you guys think, as I am trying to better my writing. Thank you to those that are reading my work, I sincerely appreciate it! (Luna in the multimedia)
-Alexis