"Hey, buddy, you're looking better!" Skywalker exclaimed, dropping a hand onto R2-D2's freshly scrubbed dome. The white and blue astromech beeped happily. His ocular sensor twitched back and forth at the sight of his master.
Despite being cleaned and having a shiny coating of wax, the droid was still covered in dents and darkened blast marks. Shan smiled at the two. Maybe she would get a droid one day. Less maintenance than a pet, yet still affectionate, and functional too.
She had accompanied Anakin to retrieve Artoo from the maintenance bay while Kenobi briefed the council on what had happened on Iveria and Krytenwulf.
Maul had gotten away, disappearing to who knows where. The Falleen they had captured was of no help. He knew nothing about Maul's plans. Heck, she wasn't even sure if he could have spelled Maul's name right if asked to. He was definitely a muscle lackey rather than a brain one.
Sahrea was happy to have gotten out of that meeting though, thank you four hours in the medbay. Debriefing sessions took forever because you were bombarded with seven different questions after each sentence. She was also glad to get a moment alone with Skywalker. She had a question for him and could sense he also had one for her.
"He's almost done, General Skywalker." the clone mechanic said. "Just need to repair two plates of his exterior armor." Shan leaned to her left. On a table, she could see two large punctures in the plating from the droid's cylindrical body. Whatever made that had some serious teeth.
"Thank you trooper." the general said before turning towards the door. Sahrea followed him out into the hallway. They chatted about trivial things as they walked, but fell quiet as they stepped into a nearby elevator.
"We can sit in one of the garden while we wait. I have a question for you." Shan said as the elevator began to descend.
"Good, cause I have two for you too." he replied. She smirked smugly at her own observation skills.
"Two questions?" she asked with feign surprise. Skywalker flashed her an attractive smile.
"You first." the knight replied as they came to a stop. The door slid open, blinding them both temporarily with sunlight.
As Shan blinked, her vision revealed a long stone walkway that disappeared into a descending staircase. The sun was shining high above in the bright cyan sky. There wasn't a cloud to be seen.
Shan wasn't overly fond of the Coruscanti Temple. There was too much going on: billions of lifeforms packed into one area, speeders zooming by, gigantic metal buildings blocking out all nature. It made it hard for her to concentrate. She grew up on Iveria, where it was all lakes and forest, not industrial. But she had to admit, despite these things, it was certainly beautiful.
"How does Satine Kryze fit into the whole Maul-Kenobi equation?" she asked as they passed between two tall, rounded light posts. Qui-Gon was an obvious piece, but Kenobi never mentioned Satine to her. At all. Not even in passing. Skywalker rubbed his jaw.
"How much do you know about her?" he asked. Shan looked out to the vibrant green of the gardens as she responded.
"She was the Queen of Mandalore and was a prominent member of the New Mandalorians. She was a pacifist who tried to erase Mandalore's warrior history." she replied bluntly. Skywalker eyed her as they descended down the steps.
"You sound like you don't approve." he said. Sahrea huffed out her nose.
"That's because I don't." she answered flatly. "My mother grew up as close to an ancient Mandalorian as one could get. A warrior in her own right, even without a saber and the Force." Shan explained as they turned into a garden. A large statue of a Jedi foreign to her stood in the center surrounded by bushes.
"I'm not a pacifist. I'm not going to lie down and let someone stomp all over me just to prolong a moment of peace." she said bitterly. Skywalker seemed to agree with her. Her voice must have been louder than she thought, because a Jedi padawan across the way looked up at them. Realizing who he was staring at, he scuttled away into the temple.
"That being said I'm not going to start a fight. But in the end, conflict always comes, no matter how hard you prevent it. Sometimes it comes because you try to prevent it. For example, Deathwatch." she crinkled up her nose at the name.
"What's your opinion on them?" Anakin asked as they sat down on a nearby bench. A large statue of an unknown female Jedi stood before them, her proud statue dark against the sun. Her expression became sour.
"Deathwatch are cowards." she spat. "They are worse than the New Mandalorians. At least I respect Satine. Disagree with her, yes, but she was honorable. She stuck to her beliefs despite what anyone else said or did.
"Deathwatch are as un-Mandalorian as you can get. They are terrorists. They sneak attack innocents, children! They lie and murder. There is no honor or glory to be won through terror." Skywalker nodded in agreement.
"Now, what does Satine have to do with Obi-Wan?" Shan asked. Her words had a bit of an edge to them due to her frustration with Mandalorian politics giving her clan a bad name. Anakin rubbed his neck.
"Satine and Obi-Wan had met when he was still a padawan. He and Master Qui-Gon were protecting Satine from insurgents. They had became... close." her friend explained. Shan immediately understood his meaning. "And when Deathwatch came, Obi-Wan had returned to Mandalore to help out."
"And that rekindled some feelings that Maul exploited." she finished for him. This knowledge sat awkwardly within her. It shouldn't have, but it did.
"Yeah. He killed Satine to spite Obi-Wan. Right in front of him." Shan throat was tight. That explained a lot, his out of character impulsiveness, the reckless way he dueled against the Zabrak. Maul had taken away two of the few people Kenobi truly cared about.
Considering that her order was now down to a handful of members, she could relate. She diverted her thoughts, since the idea of Kenobi and Satine brought up feelings she did not wish to focus on. It would only cause issues and those were something she and Obi-Wan were already in good supply of. They did not need another.
"Your question?" Sahrea asked as she looked up at the statue across from them. She immediately felt extremely dimwitted. The Jedi she thought she hadn't recognized was actually one she knew well. Very well. How had she not seen it? After all, the same blood ran through both their veins.
"What holocron did Maul take?" Skywalker asked as the Gray stood up and stepped over to the statue of Bastila Shan. She was in a warrior's pose. Feet spread apart, left arm stretched out, double bladed crossguard saber behind her. A determined look on her beautiful face.
Sahrea had hoped that maybe she would have looked a little like her when she was older, but as far as she could tell, there was no similarities between her and the legendary Jedi. She didn't even inherit her affinity for Battle Meditation. That went to Lano.
And the dark sided, brooding Revan was known for? Nyla. The Gray sighed. She looked up again. Here they were, Sahrea Shan and Bastila Shan, as face to face as they ever could possibly be. Rumor has it the council had a few ancient holocrons of Bastila buried somewhere in the temple. Maybe they would let her see them.
"It's not a coincidence." Sahrea said suddenly and cryptically. She turned to Anakin. "We have dozens of holocrons in our possession. Out of all the holocrons Maul could have stolen, he took the one with the blueprints to the Starforge." she said. Skywalker raised an eyebrow.
"Ok, the Starforge I get. That was the massive Sith base above Rakata Prime during the Jedi Civil War. What is this about coincidences now?" he asked quizzically, not following. Shan left her ancestor and returned to Anakin.
"Me. Everything. Something big is coming." she said, trying to find the right words to make him understand.
"I am the descendant of Bastila Shan and Revan. I am a Gray, therefore I live in Bindo Village, named for Jolee Bindo, one of their comrades. My mother grew up in Ordonia, named for Mandalore the Preserver, Canderous Ordo, another one of their comrades." she explained. "They were all instrumental in the destruction of the Starforge." Skywalker mulled this information over. "That is a lot of coincidences." he said finally. Shan continued.
"That was one of the reasons why the Elders did not want me or my siblings falling to the Dark or Light. There were too many coincidences. They knew something big was coming." she explained, her words rushed with anxiety. Anticipation? She didn't know. She just knew that she was jittery with the knowledge that things were going to change.
"What kind of something?" he asked in a way that reminded her very much of Obi-Wan. Shan shrugged, leaning back on the bench and propping her foot up.
"I don't know. Between that and the war, anything could happen." she admitted.
"Maul did say a new era was coming." Skywalker copied her, leaning against the back.
"At least we got the holocron back." he said. She plucked it off her belt. In the bright sunlight, the pale purple glow of the diamond was barely visible. It felt fragile in her hand, like just touching it could make it shatter. It was unwarranted, because she was pretty sure if she dropped it, it wouldn't even chip. Anakin reached out his hand to see it.
"Your second question?" she asked as she passed it to him. Skywalker thought for a moment. She immediately sensed something like anxiety from him.
"How would one become a member of your order?" This took her off guard, so much so she recoiled at the question.
"Wai... Wait what?" she said, wide eyes blinking. She dropped her foot and sat forward immediately. Skywalker looked uncomfortable. She shook herself out of her daze.
"Why do you ask?" she asked cautiously. Sahrea had always noticed something different about Anakin Skywalker. Yes, he did have more dark in him than most Jedi, but there was something else. A burden or a weight. A secret.
He hid it well though. She doubted even Obi-Wan knew it was there. She figured it was the Dark Side training in her that alerted her to it. She had been taught how to look for weaknesses, both physical and psychological. What that secret was, however, she didn't have a clue.
"I was just wondering." he replied nonchalantly. A lie. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"You aren't telling me the truth, but I will answer your question anyway." she stated. "We are much like the Jedi Order in the sense we prefer to teach from birth. To go from the Dark or the Light to the middle is absurdly difficult.
"Bodies like stability. They want to be Light or Dark, not teetering in the middle going from light-dark-light-dark. It's contrary to their nature. That's why it's so hard to walk the center, why each Gray has a leaning." she explained.
"So you won't take someone on later?" he asked, turning the diamond over in his hands. "Not necessarily." she said, watching as the light bouncing off the holocron winked and snuffed out. Wink, snuff out.
"My mother was a full adult when she joined the order and she had no prior Force training. Just the will. It truly depends on the person." she explained.
"Some people can handle it, some can't." Skywalker squeezed the holocron. He was mulling something over. He probably figured out that Shan realized why he was asking.
"What about me?" Sahrea stared him down, trying to decode his reasoning. His eyes were sharp. Brows pulled slightly together. Jaw and mouth tense.
"You would want to abandon the Jedi Order?" she questioned. Anakin looked conflicted.
"Yes, no, I don't know!" he admitted. She cocked her head at him.
"Why?" This she genuinely curious about. Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, Jedi Knight, Republic General, poster boy of the Council, wanted to leave the Order? Skywalker shifted again. This was clearly something he had thought a lot about before asking her. He was silent for a long while.
"It's... a lot of things." he finally said. His shoulders slumped.
"You can tell me. We both know I'm good at keeping secrets. Just ask the council." she said with a smirk. Skywalker didn't respond. Clearly his intentions were something he didn't want known and in her experience, that usually made them less than noble. She thought back on his original question.
"No." she said. Anakin gave her a shocked face. "Not right now." She sensed confusion and anger come from the Jedi. He buried it well though. Where most people were a slow build up and release, Skywalker was like a volcano. He was going to hold that rage in until he blew. Again, in her experience, not a good coping mechanism.
"What do you mean, not right now?" he asked, trying to keep the negative tone out of his voice. Shan leaned her elbow on her knee.
"You're not ready." she replied simply, flicking her wrist up as she spoke.
"I sense the struggle in you Anakin. You cling to the Light yet have a Dark streak in you that you have not yet learned to control." Skywalker made a sour face at her. She ignored it and continued.
"We are taught from a young age how properly have an attachment, how to not let them influence your decisions and how to let them go when necessary. Being a Gray isn't a best of both worlds kind of deal. In many ways, it is much much harder." Sahrea balled up the material of her cloak sleeve.
"I wish I were a Jedi sometimes. Having no attachments means no pain, no betrayal, no abandonment. No grief." Her dead family flashed before her eyes. She altered the direction of the conversation before continuing.
"I sense you are doing this for more or less selfish reasons. If you were to give into the Dark Side right now even a smidge, you will fall fully unless you learn to control that Dark streak." she said. Skywalker gave her an irritated look.
"Then teach me." he replied bluntly. She looked at him wistfully before sighing. "You are too impulsive. Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the rest of the Jedi will teach you much better than I would. You need more time at the Jedi Temple." she said. She tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear.
"Look, if you decide in a year that you still want to pursue this, we will talk. I'll assess, see how things are. If you can prove to me that you can handle this, meaning, letting go of your attachments, learning to deal with your anger, and being less reckless, there's a good chance we can seriously consider it. We will definitely not say no to a new member." she said.
"I just don't want you making any rash decisions, Anakin. I want you to come to us for the right reasons, not selfish ones, and be sure this is what you want." she finished gently. She put a hand on his shoulder. He yanked it away from her touch. He got up and went to go get his droid back.
"If anyone asks, I forget what we talked about." she told his retreating back. Even from this distance, she could feel the negative, cold aura radiating from that man. She bit her lip.
Something was happening indeed.