THE EVERGREEN LEAVES sparkled against the dimming sunlight, hitting the rain spots that had recently fallen on them like a thin layer of glitter. Glenn, Ellie and T-Dog paced together, although Ellie had to stop a few times to avoid sudden dizziness. The three shared minor personal anecdotes along the way, although Ellie's mind wandered elsewhere, deeper into her empty space that her daughter once occupied.
Despite the chaos being so demanding, Ellie couldn't help but feel the ache that lingered in her heart the longer she was away from her daughter and siblings. She felt incomplete; hollow from the inside now that they were separated. But being hollow, there was no room for any emotion. However much space the air must take up, no feeling could slip through the cracks. The group remained hopeful, but Ellie, had been slipping.
A secret followed her wherever she went. Plagued, tormented and shattered by the words Jenner had whispered to freely. Well, it was certainly not her downfall. And if the world had insisted on being infected, then Ellie would simply have to be the antidote.
Fiddling with the tips of her fingers in idle day-dreaming, Ellie found herself entirely silent. Glenn's eyes narrowed in worry, though in the short time he had known her, it was apparent burying emotions had been the only way out. Instead, Glenn flashed a warm smile, shooting a nod in the blonde's direction to remind her that he would forever be by her side.
"What was your family like, El?" T-Dog questioned, drawing Ellie's eyes and smile to greet him, instead.
She smiled briefly at the question, pushing out joyous air from her nose, "They were the best..." Tucking her blonde curls behind her ears like a girl, Ellie continued with a blush, "After my dad died, Mom lost her way. She was a great mom, but... In my old job, I would have said it was psychosis. Losing Dad that way was... brutal. We didn't..."
Glenn's eyes softened, drawing his lips to a thin line, "You don't have to talk about it, El. It's okay."
Ellie's head shook hastily, refusing to bury the memory of her father once again, "He was an addict. He had been for a long time, apparently. And then one day, he just... An overdose. We didn't know. We... we didn't know."
"Hey," T-Dog's voice lowered, gentle and sweet like the man's soul, "Our pasts are just that. Our pasts. We don't gotta relive it, but use it to keep goin'."
A mere moment of electric joy. Ellie smiled widely, beaming with gratitude as the two men guided her so kindly through her uneasiness. Friendship had, finally, prevailed through all monstrous disaster the world could attempt to regurgitate into the ethos. Proudly, Ellie gave a gentle squeeze to both arms of the men beside her. Finally—an encouraged spirit free from inner demons.
Pushing onward in the discussion, T-Dog let out a gentle chuckle, "Man, my family makes yours sound like saints! The trouble we used to get into at home with my mom..." he shook his head as he laughed
once again, "Now, that was a childhood."
Yet, sadness was sure to prevail. Droplets of grief laid to rest against Ellie's skin; melting inward like an ointment of loneliness. All she could do was cup at her cold arms, rubbing at the goosebumps as if they could be picked apart and trail to the ground in heaps. Somehow, the very notion that her body could wither away at all seemed more appetising than any feast could provide. It, somehow, always managed to come back to Coda. How her hand could no longer rest in Ellie's as it should. How laughter could not stand the sound of itself it had not come from the voice of such an angelic child.
The sky darkened. Thick clouds enveloped in an embrace of Gaia formed in the sky above, pleading with daytime to bring darkness to the land. Shortly after nighttime had approached, the trio found themselves sleepily approaching the farm, suddenly greeted by the eager teenager, Beth Greene. Her babbling seemed to not reside in Ellie's head, only listening in intervals whenever Carl or Rick had been mentioned.
"Here, come inside," the blonde teenager kindly stated, holding the door open for the strangers to enter her home.
Beth promptly guided the trio to sit down at the large dinner table, providing space to relax as her father worked diligently on saving Carl's life. Holding on by a mere thread. Ellie slowly sunk into the hardened, squeaky chair of wood, thumping her body against the wooden surface with ease. Her hands cupped at her own face, mirroring how she had truly dreamed of holding her own daughter the same way. A kind hand rested against Ellie's back; unprompted and unfamiliar.
The voice pertaining to the hand revealed themselves to be Glenn, rubbing small circles along her back, "If you're going to vomit, please, direct it at T-Dog, and not me."
"Hey, man! That's racist."
"You can't play the race card with me, pal."
"Guys!" Ellie interrupted, laughing at their absurdity, though she firmly asserted, "Please, we need to focus on Carl."
Pain thrummed in her ears, playing a tune of grief that only Lori and Rick could sing on beat. They each carried a hole within them too great to fill with anything else but their own despair. Ellie's head remained buried deep into darkness, somehow, more comforted by the muffled sounds of periphery and darkness of blindness than of the comforting hand pressed against her spine.
Subsequently, Maggie joined the group at the table, and gawked down at Glenn for a while, before redirecting her attention to Ellie, "Ellie, what the heck are you doing here? Listen, you've lost too much blood today to be moving around like this. I'm takin' you to my bed."
Ellie rolled her eyes at the fussing over her, but simply shot a nod in the direction of Glenn and T-Dog to indicate she was fine with getting the rest she was entitled to. Sheepishly, she trailed after Maggie up the creaky stairs of the farmhouse, until they halted ahead of childlike bedroom, decorated with whites, pinks and light blues of innocence. Ellie could only smile at the sight of a perfect bedroom, grinning as she had forgotten what it had felt like to be in a bedroom, or even sit at a dinner table.
"You should have told us you were feeling sick," Maggie scolded as she handed Ellie some fresh clothes, "I wouldn't have allowed you to ride."
Ellie shrugged, and rubbed at her temples nonchalantly, "I had to do it for Rick," she gestured for Maggie turn around as she began to change her clothes and continued, "I... couldn't let Shane do it."
Maggie raised an inquisitive eyebrow, although remained facing away from Ellie, "Is he alright?"
Ellie sighed loudly, and allowed Maggie to turn back around, muttering through discomfort, "Honestly, you don't wan't to know. Things have only seemed to complicated more since..."
Maggie nodded respectfully, gesturing for Ellie to climb within the softness of her bed. Awkwardly, Ellie could only hesitate, slowly sinking her hand into the feathery mattress.. A breath hitched deep in her throat, stunned by the delicacy of comfort the world had stolen so eagerly.
Ellie gulped loudly, peering between Maggie's eager eyes and the soft bed before her, before suddenly allowing herself to curl into the bed, enveloping her comforted skin in the duvet provided. Decorated with pink and orange butterflies in their dance of beauty. She let out a small sigh of relief as the softness of the duvet engulfed her; the mattress welcoming her body like a cloud. A bed as comfortable as Maggie's had felt like a distant dream, rather than a memory. Entirely foreign to those survivors stuck in the wasteland.
Maggie sat down on her bed and tucked Ellie in as though she were a child, flashing her a warm smile as she inquired, "How are you feelin'?"
Ellie propped herself up on her elbows reluctantly, allowing a frown to crumple on her face as she squeaked out, "I keep losing everyone. Even before all this... I just keep... I'm a bad luck charm."
"What's happened?" Maggie questioned sadly, a frown twisting at her plump lips.
Ellie's eyes averted to the floral pattern on the duvet, refusing to connect their eyes as she bitterly explained, "My dad... died when I was young. Now, my daughter, my siblings and my mom are all missing. Everyone around me just... leaves."
Maggie sighed heavily as she nodded at Ellie, her sympathetic eyes suddenly connecting with the reluctance of Ellie's, "I lost my mom when I was young, I know you feel with that. It never gets easier but the people around you are there to help you heal. Maybe some faith?"
"I have never known anyone quite like these people. Already, we've become a... family," Ellie stated breathlessly, her beady eyes of sorrow dropping down to the duvet once again. She gulped heavily, shifting the subject elsewhere as she suddenly felt awkward, "Is Carl okay? And Rick?"
Maggie froze, allowing a brief sigh to escape her lips before she leapt to her feet, firmly ordering, "We don't know. You need to get some rest and stop worrying about other people, Ellie. You need to recuperate."
Ellie let out a groan, and pinched the bridge of her nose, "We have to look after one another. We lost three of our people not too long ago..." Ellie turned to face Maggie in frustration, her forehead beaded with stress lines, "Three, Maggie. And it wasn't even due to the walkers." Ellie's narrowed eyes noted Maggie's uncertainty at her use of the word walkers, remaining silent suddenly.
Ellie knew that it had simply been inevitable to stumble across those who denied the apocalypse; those who attributed the disastrous happenings to antisocial behaviour. Those who lived on the outskirts of propriety had been the epicentre for such disaster. Older folk had a way of blaming the youth for everything — technological advances, war. It always seemed to be the fault of something else, rather than what it actually was. Ellie was careful to observe the Greene's behaviour during the ordeal, and thus far, had duly noted Maggie's odd response.
Maggie raised an eyebrow, and softened her eyes, "I get it. But, you really need to rest to get your energy back. And then you can look after them, and protect them the way you can." Ellie paused for a moment, tucking herself into the duvet once again to indicate to Maggie she had won, "I'll send some of your folks up soon, El."
Ellie's ears eagerly awaited the sound of Maggie closing the door, awaiting the sound retreating footsteps in order to allow a desperate sob to push from her throat. Her eyes streamed with withheld tears of grief, suddenly overwhelmed with all the empty space of loneliness. It hadn't been clear whether she was crying for Coda; Luke; her sister, or even for Andrea. All she had known was the blistering agony left in the empty spaces. Broken heartstrings bled as if sliced with but a blade of survival.
The blonde slowly tucked her knees up to her chest, folding herself into a tight ball, almost as though she wished she'd be swallowed up whole by the ground. She clutched the small teddy from her pocket close to her heart, breathing in the fading scent of her daughter's existence. The pain ebbed and flowed mercilessly as she clutched the teddy close, winding her finger along the fraying fabric of the teddy. Eventually, Ellie's own tears nursed her to a tempestuous sleep.
>>>
Rattling plates against wood suddenly jolted Ellie awake in the unfamiliar bed. Gathering her bearings, Ellie's head shook instantly, blinking away the unfamiliarity as she became focused on the childhood bedroom of Maggie Greene. Instinctively, Ellie's hand leapt for the gun on the table, immediately raising it to the entity standing ahead of her.
Revealing herself to be Beth, the perpetrator shrieked, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I brought you some breakfast."
Ellie sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose, before slipping the gun back to the table, "Sorry, Beth. I'm... just a bit jumpy," she accepted the tray graciously with a warm smile and inquired, "Are my people here yet?"
"When you're ready, you can come down and see where everyone's at," Beth smiled at her, gesturing for her to eat the food as quickly as she could.
Hesitantly, Ellie's untrusting eyes darted between Beth and the food on the tray, prompting Beth to fearfully place down the tray on the bed, and kindly leave the woman to it. Once she had inspected the foot on the plate, Ellie instantaneously wolfed down the food almost in one bite, the feeling of freshly cooked sausages made her heart swell with happiness just for a moment. For a moment.
Rushing to dress in the fresh clothes, Ellie sunk her body into the fabrics, observing as clean, satisfactory clothes clung to her body like a dream. An embrace of success. Slowly, the blonde descended down the creaky stairs, shifting silently into the gargantuan house to suddenly catch a glimpse of Hershel eating breakfast at his own dinner table, accompanied by Patricia. With the exception of Otis. Shooting them a kind nod, Ellie pressed onward, catching a glimpse of the ajar door, leading to where Carl had been resting. Halting on an irritatingly creaky floorboard, Ellie knew her presence was surely alerted to the parents inside.
Cautiously, Ellie peeped inward. Her eyes trailed to the grieving couple, their sunken eyes of a sleepless night flashing with appreciation. Ellie's own eyes slowly trailed over to Carl, whose body remained unconscious and bandaged from the intense surgery his body underwent the night prior. He seemed at peace, though Ellie knew far too well the moment he were to awaken he'd succumb to the agony of his fresh bullet wound.
"Morning..." Ellie whispered, knowing far too well it had been impossible to placate the grief with the addition of "good" ahead of "morning." She cleared her throat briskly, and declared, "God. It–It's my fault, I stopped him from touching that damn deer. I... I shouldn't have let him..."
Lori instantly raised to her feet, shaking her head repeatedly as she curled her hands around Ellie's thin wrist, "Don't you dare blame yourself."
"I–I'm a bad parent," Ellie breathed out despondently, prompting Lori and Rick to exchange suggestive glances. Ellie's cheeks flushed a deep crimson shade as she challenged, "I'm so sorry. I know you're both probably—"
Lori's head shook slowly, a warm smile plastered on her lips as she ushered Ellie out of the door with a gentle order of, "We can continue talking once you've met the rest of the Greene's group."
The last thing on Ellie's mind had been introducing herself to strangers of the pristine farm. Simply another reminder that they had everything they had wanted, and she didn't. How everything she had ever desired to keep in her grasp had merely slipped away, slowly but surely.
With a gentle sigh, Ellie heeded the woman's order, and slumped out of the house as she had spotted Glenn conversing with Beth, where Maggie and T-Dog had been rapidly approaching. Internally, Ellie rolled her eyes at the necessity of communication, and feigned a receptive smile at the kind individuals she had approached.
Ellie glanced over at another blonde lady who was standing in between Beth and Glenn, facing the direction of the farmland. Though Ellie had deemed her Patricia, her eyes narrowed intensely as she had seen Patricia with Hershel inside the house mere moments prior. As she inched closer fearfully, Ellie's eyes instantly recognised the messy, blonde ponytail of their friend. Andrea Harrison.
"An... Andrea?" Ellie breathed out as she halted, awaiting the blonde woman to swivel on her heels to face Ellie. Andrea's cheeks flushed with relief, her own eyes widening with disbelief at being reunited with her friend, "You're here!"
The women folded into a tight embrace, squeezing with delight at the notion that slowly, their family had been sewn back together.
Ellie's knuckles grew white from her grip, though withdrew rapidly as her wide eyes glistened, "Please, tell me she made it, Andy..."
Like the very wind had been knocked from within her, Ellie's body staggered backward as the distant, piercing cry of, "Mommy!" punctured her lungs like a blade.
Rubbing at her aching temples, Ellie's head shook repeatedly, ensuring her eyes had been clasped shut as she muttered, "Is... is..."
Her eyes suddenly reopened at the reassuring touch of Glenn's hand on her shoulder, his voice sweetly declaring, "You earned this, El."
From behind them, the only to sound to be heard had been the comedic, breathless pants of Shane, "Alright, kid, we're almost there. You're heavy, you know. You ain't as small as you think you are."
"Shane, I want my Mommy!" the child cried once again, prompting Ellie to instantly spin on her heels emphatically, pushing forward as her eyes sighted her daughter.
A breath hitched in her throat at the sight of her daughter leaping in her direction, leaving Ellie's weakened legs to stumble in her direction. Her feet pattered and staggered down the steps of the porch, and out into the flowering blankets of grass. Buckled knees sent Ellie to the ground, immediately permitting Coda to leap from Shane's grasp and into her mother's arms with nothing but sobs of relief filling the empty spaces between them.
The duo collided instantly, with Coda crumpling into her mother's chest, prompting them both to topple and giggle with ease. Simply entranced in the joy of reconciliation—finally, reunited in the warmth of survival.
Withdrawing from the embrace, Ellie cupped lovingly at her daughter's cheeks, breathlessly questioning "I'm not imagining you, am I?"
Coda let out a small laugh, and shook her head at her mother's inquiry, "No, silly. Andrea brought us here. It was weird without you at first, but Hershel is so nice!"
Ellie could not help but attack her daughter's cheeks with repeated kisses, dotted and peppered like the very journey she had embarked on to arrive at the farm. Endeared entirely in the fantastical giggles and tiny hands that attempted to swat her away, until Ellie eventually faltered. Nothing could ever amount to what Coda had meant to the decaying world. Nothing.
Raising her glazed gaze to Andrea, Ellie choked out, "Thank you so much for keeping my little girl alive."
As if on cue, the roar of Daryl's motorcycle filled their ears like a melodic tune, along with the spluttering of the failing engine of the RV. Ellie turned her attention to Daryl, whose eyes had already found their way to hers as he pulled up his motorcycle. As soon as he brought the engine to a halt, he hurled the motorcycle to the ground in a thump, allowing it to fall carelessly as no amount of cars or motorcycles would equate to the love found in his innocent daughter. His legs strode on, so close, yet, somehow, so far, as always.
The redneck rushed to his daughter, gripping her in his arms as he breathed out in relief at the sight, grinning widely as he boomed, "I got you... I got you, girl."
"Daddy..." Coda sniffled, burying her head into his chest as he spun the two around playfully, "You came back for me."
Daryl grunted in approval, cupping at Coda's head nuzzled within his chest. Something burned in his fingers as he held her close—a notion that if she were to ever slip from his fingers again, he would simply die. He didn't know why, nor how a child as small as her; or a child he had barely known for longer than mere weeks, but Coda had awoken a painful reminder of a past world—love.
Daryl let out a shaky breath, and felt his eyes prick with tears which he quickly blinked away, "You're a Dixon, always knew you'd be strong."
Ellie giggled through sporadic sniffles, along with Coda who cackled loudly at Daryl's use of his surname. Coda gripped at his face adoringly, and roared playfully, "I'm a Dixon and I'm gonna ride a motorcycle."
Daryl snorted playfully, his head shaking at the evident reckless trait she had inherited from both of her fearless parents. Adoring her in all of her wild, untamed joy.
Daryl raised his eyebrow while stating, "You ain't ridin' no motorcycles," he shifted his gaze to Ellie, flashing her a confused scowl, "How did she get here?"
Ellie's hand adoringly rested on Daryl's chin, her eyes dropping and raising from the heights of his eyes, to the lows of his lips, "Andrea brought her here after getting lost in the woods. You... you never gave up on that hope. You must be so mad at me."
Daryl could only lean his forehead against Ellie's, drawing her closer for him to respond, "It ain't always easy. But I got you, Ellie. Always."
After their blissful moment, Ellie whirled to face Andrea with her small family, each of them flashing bright smiles of gratitude, with the exception of Shane, who only appeared to fester in his own miserable existence. Misery followed after Shane like a dark cloud, and Ellie had been merely one of many to notice.
Ellie hoarsely declared, "Andrea, we owe you Coda's life. I–I can't thank you enough for keeping her alive, it must have been hard."
Andrea's eyes welled with tears, resulting in Glenn wrapping his arm reassuringly around her as she stated, "She's a great little girl," she turned to face Maggie and Beth and nodded in their direction, "It's their hospitality that saved the both of us. Thank you, Greene's, for everything."
Their discovery had been but a splatter of relief in a much larger, darker painting. Their lives appeared hopeful, somehow resting in a palm of a greater force keeping them warm. To those like Hershel, or even Ellie, the world had been bound to a pendulum of faith. All they had to do was keep swinging, or else they would fail. But to the others, the world was sinking faster and faster into turmoil.
Ellie's eyes clenched shut, suddenly overwhelmed with the notion that everything had been running. Running out of excuses. Running out of time. Running out of life. It had all been far closer than she had wanted. Too close to stop its poison touching her skin. Too close not to taste reality. Jenner's words had the CDC had a funny way of lingering at Ellie's worst moments. Hovering like a memento mori.
"We are all infected."
[ edited ✓]