Dez POV
When I realize what I have done, I feel so guilty!
"Austin! Oh my god I am so so sorry! I didn't, I didn't --" I say but he holds a hand up to me.
"I have to go" he says and runs home.
Shit. I ruined our friendship! I may never have a chance with him now! Tears come to my eyes at this. I go inside.
"Mom? Dad?" I yell but I get no reply.
Tears start coming down my face like a waterfall. I run upstairs and lay face down on my face.
Why am I so fucking stupid?
"Yeah Dez why are you?" My mind says to me and I yell.
I want to cut. But I promised my mom, and my sister that I wouldn't. But I have to. But they will see my wrist.. They won't see my thighs. I grab by razor and slice it hard against my thigh.
"Damn I'm fat" I say to myself. When the blood starts pouring out I start to cry even more. I've always been afraid of blood. I guess this is why I never got away with cutting myself in silence. I scream. I guess my sister heard it, and she comes in my room.
"Dez are you -- Dez!" She yells.
"DIDI"' I cry even harder.
"What did you do?" She sounds angry as she cleans up my wound.
"I-I-"
"Dez I thought you would be alright.. I guess I'm wrong. Sleep now" she says and kisses my forehead.
I fall into a deep sleep.
------
Later on I wake up and feel very energetic, but I loose my energy as I remember what happened before. I go downstairs and only my mom his home. My sister probably went back to her college and my dad is just out.
"Hi mom" I walk over to her and give her a hug.
"Dez. I heard .. About what happened. Why baby?" She asks me.
"All about a stupid boy..." I say sadly and my mom nods. She knows I'm gay and just wants me to be happy.
"Oh Dez. You'll be fine. Don't get down over him" she says
"But mom! I love him!" I say and she sighs.
She gives me some dinner and I eat quickly.
I know I won't be able to sleep tonight