He sat down on the sofa and tapped the empty space next to him in silent invitation.
I complied, still puzzled at the whole thing.
"The station has been asking me since last year to take over the whole news and public affairs team as Vice President," he told me as soon as I sat down. "This house is part of that offer."
"Wow! I didn't know. Congratulations!"
"I haven't accepted the offer yet."
It's my turn to frown. It didn't make sense. It was a wonderful opportunity and no one deserved it more than he did.
"Why not? You're perfect for the job!"
"Because it meant I had to stay in this town, and I had no reason to," he turned his body to face me, his eyes searching mine carefully. "At least I didn't have one before... But I may have one now."
I wanted to look away, feeling self conscious under his stare, but not able to break it off either. I stayed silent, waiting to see where this was heading.
"I was hoping you can help me make a decision," he finally continued.
"What? Why me? It's your life Paul, you should decide for yourself."
I understand he was confused and probably needed to hear differing opinions from friends, but it was a big decision and I didn't feel like I was in a position to give him an advice.
"Because it's up to you. Do you want me to stay, Elisse?"
His eyes burned with fire, silently willing me to say something. But I don't know what it was he wanted me to say.
Am I supposed to encourage him to stay and grab this kind of offer that mere mortals like me can only dream about? Or did he want me to discourage him because a free spirit like him will not enjoy being tied to a desk all day?
I groaned out loud in frustration.
"Help me out here Paul. What is it that you want me to say? I really don't understand."
"Elisse," he called out in a gutted voice. "You're slowly killing me."
"I'm sorry! I really don't know what you expect me to do!"
He stood up and started pacing agitatedly in the living room. I went to him and softly touched him arm, hoping to calm him down.
At my touch, he suddenly stopped pacing and sharply turned around to face me.
"Do you really have no idea what I'm asking you?"
"I'm sorry. I really am. But I don't understand what's going on. Tell me. Please. I'll help in whatever way I can."
"Ask me to stay, damn it! Ask me to stay. For you!"
I stare at him speechlesly, for once not able to find the right words. He was watching me intensely, and the pressure to say something, anything was building up inside me.
"But why me?!" I finally blurted out, one part of me daring to imagine the millions of possibilities, while another part was scared to hear the answer.
"Because you're the only reason for me to stay here, Elisse! Don't you know that by now?" He raked his fingers through his hair, taking deep calming breaths.
He put both hands on my shoulders and turned me around until we were facing each other, bodies almost touching but not quite.
"Haven't you ever wondered why I always come back here even when I don't really need to? Why I always reach out to you when I'm in town? Did you ever stop to think about why I even left in the first place?"
He held my eyes in his, and in them I saw how hard these past years had been. Not because of his work. But because of loneliness. Because he was longing for someone. Me.
"Elisse, say something please," he pleaded softly. I couldn't anymore endure the pain I was seeing in his eyes so I looked away.
I heard him take deep, ragged breaths . Then he spoke so softly I barely heard what he said next.
"I'm sorry if it's such a big shock to you, but I needed to know. I can't go through the same thing all over again."
I looked up and met his eyes.
"Why me?" I asked him softly.
"It's always been you, Elisse. You've always been IT for me. Always. Since the day we first met."