And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do...
Zayn woke up the next morning to the sound of bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do blaring from his phone. "Liam," he whined when Liam didn't immediately stretch over him to silence the alarm, as had become their custom. He bucked his shoulder back to get his attention, only to realize that his back was cold and the bed was empty, and well. That was no good. He fumbled for his phone, turning the alarm off before dropping his head back onto his pillow.
A quick glance around the room told him that Liam was no where in sight, but before he had time to regret the loss of their morning cuddles Liam was pushing the door open and bounding into the room. He hopped onto the bed, straddling Zayn's stomach and bouncing lightly with way too fucking much energy for such an early hour.
"Time to rise and shine, buttercup," he sing-songed, looking down at Zayn with a bright smile. "Places to go, people to see."
"No people. No places," Zayn groaned, pulling Liam's pillow over his face and closing his eyes once more. "Sleep."
"But Zayn..." Liam started, pulling the pillow out from his grasp and tossing it to the side. "It's tomorrow."
It took Zayn's tired mind a few seconds to realize what the hell Liam was talking about, and despite the fact that remembering what he had to do today made him want to get out of bed even less, he did the opposite, propping himself up on his elbows and shooting Liam a small smile.
"Shit, sorry. I'm up."
Liam scooted back a bit, pulling Zayn with him until he was sitting upright. "I made us some sandwiches and packed a cooler, and downloaded some songs for us to listen to on the ride, and I-"
"Jesus Christ, Li, how long have you been up?" Zayn asked, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand and trying not to yawn.
Liam shrugged, looking sheepish. "Couldn't really sleep," he admitted.
Zayn could feel the energy pouring off of him, and he wished that he could match his enthusiasm. But he couldn't, dread already weighing him down, so he patted him on the leg instead, urging him to move off of him so that he could get up. The sooner the day started the sooner it would be over, and at this point that was the only thing Zayn could ask for.
In his haste to stand Zayn had forgotten that he'd slept totally naked, and that, combined with the fact that it was morning and Liam had just been straddling him, left him standing half hard in front of Liam, a flush spreading up his neck as he watched Liam's smile turn wicked.
He pulled Zayn down onto the bed in an instant, blanketing his body with his own, a thigh pushed between Zayn's legs as he ran a hand through his hair. "Just think, by this time tomorrow I could be fucking you into the mattress," he murmured, stroking along Zayn's jaw with the back of his fingers, his hips pulsing minutely against Zayn's. Zayn brain short circuited, because yeah, that was something he could work up a little enthusiasm over.
He looked up at Liam, resisting the urge to kiss his bright pink lips. It felt like Liam was doing the same, his eyes lingering over Zayn's mouth before his gaze traveled lower, his eyes widening comically as his body tensed.
"What is it?"
Liam swallowed, not looking Zayn in the eyes. "Um," he said, before swallowing again. "You remember how we agreed that I'm your favorite person in the whole world?"
"I most definitely did not agree to that."
Liam ignored him. "And that you could never, ever be mad at me, because I'm so wonderful? I'm going to need you to keep that in mind when you look in the mirror."
Zayn pushed him off and rose to stand, grabbing his boxers from the floor and pulling them on before hurrying to the mirror above the dresser so that he could see what had caused Liam's sudden change in mood. A quick glance revealed half a dozen angry red marks on his throat, starting just below his left ear and trailing down to his collarbone.
"What. The. Fuck," he growled, poking at the largest of the marks and wincing at the sting. "I haven't had a hickey since high school and you decide to do this, on today of all days?"
Liam sat up, looking contrite. "I didn't know then that today was going to be the day," he reminded Zayn as he stood and started towards him. "I guess I just got a little carried away."
"A little?" Zayn asked, turning to face the mirror and gesturing to his neck. "I look like I was mauled by a bear!"
Liam reached him, his hand finding Zayn's chin and forcing him to look at him. "Would it help," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss Zayn's cheek, "if I said that I was very," a kiss on his other cheek, "very sorry?" he asked, placing a kiss on the tip of Zayn's nose before stepping back, not looking sorry at all.
Zayn closed his eyes, willing his anger away. He couldn't really blame Liam for not having been able to control himself, since his own self-restraint was pushed to the limit every time he was around him. "It's- it's fine. Do you have like, a turtleneck or something I can wear?"
Liam shrugged a shoulder as he thought about it. "I think I have a bandana? You could wrap it around your neck," he suggested.
Zayn rolled his eyes. "Do I look like a fucking cowboy, Liam? You got some assless chaps for me too?"
Liam grinned, knocking Zayn out of the way with a light shove so that he could get to his dresser. "Just wear this," he said, pulling out a hooded sweatshirt and handing it to him. "It should cover most of them, and you can wear a scarf to hide the rest. Just means you'll have to keep your coat on, I guess. No breakup sex for you," he added, looking pretty pleased with himself over this guarantee.
Zayn huffed, grabbing the sweatshirt and a clean pair of boxers and jeans before stomping into the bathroom. He showered quickly, then dressed and made his way into the kitchen. "Oh, thank god," he said as Liam handed him a cup of coffee as he passed.
"Please, just call me Liam," he told him solemnly.
Zayn groaned at the dumb joke, staring Liam down, but Liam just smiled in return, and he couldn't help but smile back when he took a sip of his coffee and discovered that it was nice and sweet, just the way he liked it. He set the mug down on the counter so that he could grab the lunches he'd packed for the girls the night before from the fridge, then sat down at the table with a napkin and pen and started sketching a quick doodle for Safaa. She came into the room just as he was putting it into her lunch box, her skirt tucked halfway into her tights and her hair sticking out in a million different directions.
He fixed her skirt as she climbed up onto a chair, then took the comb she handed him and began brushing her hair.
"Morning, Saf," Liam said as he placed a bowl of cereal in front on her.
"Morning, Liam," she said from behind a yawn, dropping her head onto an arm that was stretched out on the table.
"You gotta hold still for me," Zayn reminded her. He was trying to french braid her hair, but it was difficult, what with her head lolling around. Liam wasn't helping his concentration, leaning over the counter and swaying his hips from side to side as he looked over his shoulder at Zayn.
"Is that really necessary?" Zayn asked him, not bothering to take the comb out from between his teeth.
Liam feigned surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is my cute butt distracting you?" he asked, wiggling it further to make Safaa to giggle.
"Don't know what you're laughing about," Zayn told her. "This is all your fault."
Safaa jumped up in her seat, like she was just remembering something, and Zayn barely had time to tie a rubber band around her braid before she was scrambling away from him and running out of the room. She was back a minute later with her backpack, smiling brightly as she reached into it and pulled out a piece of paper.
"It's for you," she told Liam, shoving it into his hand. Zayn walked around the table, resting his chin on Liam's shoulder so that he could see. He was pretty sure that the big yellow blob she'd drawn was meant to be Liam in his fire gear, if the Leeyum written at the top of the paper in giant crooked letters was any indication. "Ms. Jenna wouldn't tell me how to spell it. Said I had to sound it out. Did I do good?"
"Why, it's the most magnificent picture I've ever seen," Liam assured her, his voice deep and booming like a sports announcer's as he dug around in a junk drawer for a roll of tape. "These colors! Those details! It's a true work of art," he finished as he secured the drawing to the fridge.
Safaa beamed, and Zayn found himself smiling just as big as he noticed that Liam's fridge was no longer blank, two other drawings and Doniya's work schedule also taped to it. "Guess I need to get some magnets," Liam said when he saw where Zayn was looking.
"Guess so," Zayn agreed quietly, taking another sip of coffee. He kind of liked the way Liam said it, like he was planning on keeping them all around long enough that he'd need a lifetime's supply worth. He leaned back against the counter, knocking his hip into Liam's as he looked up at him. He looked so handsome in his stupid tight shirt, a green one this time that made his eyes look rich and dark in comparison, and Zayn wished that he could kiss him. He settled for skimming a knuckle along his freshly shaved jaw instead, noting that Liam looked like he wanted to kiss him just as badly.
"Ugh, there are minors present," Waliyha groaned as she came into the room. "Here, need you to sign this."
Zayn reluctantly stepped away from Liam, pulling out a chair across from Safaa and taking the paper from Waliyha. "What's this?" he asked.
"Permission slip," she told him as she sat down and took a bite of her cereal. "We're going to a museum."
Zayn signed it quickly, then noticed the cost. "Thirty bucks just to look at some art?" he asked incredulously, though he was already reaching for his wallet.
"You can't put a price on education, Zayn," she said with a smile, taking the paper and cash from him. "Wait, you gave me too much," she told him, trying to hand a ten dollar bill back to him.
Zayn waved her off. "Keep it. In case you see a souvenir or something," he added when he saw Liam looking at him fondly. "What?" he asked him as he got to his feet and started gathering the dishes to bring to the sink.
Liam raised his shoulders in a small shrug. "You're a really good brother, you know that?"
Zayn rolled his eyes, but he could feel his cheeks heat and hoped that Liam didn't notice. "I'm good at everything, remember?"
Liam laughed, then leaned in so that the girls couldn't hear, placing a hand on either side of the counter where Zayn stood facing the sink. "Guess we'll find out soon enough," he murmured, biting Zayn's earlobe before stepping away. Zayn's eyes fluttered shut, the promise of Liam's words making him feel hot all over, and he decided that the dishes could wait. He had places to go and people to see.
He helped Safaa into her coat before shrugging on his own, then grabbed her backpack and headed towards the door. Liam stopped him just before he walked through it, tugging him back to stand in front of him. "Can't forget this," he whispered, trying not to wake Doniya where she slept on the sofa as he wrapped a winter scarf around Zayn's neck.
"Thanks," he whispered back, placing his hand over Liam's for a second.
They were all in Liam's car and headed towards the girls' school a minute later, and Zayn couldn't believe that he was actually going to break up with Clark in a matter of hours. Except that he kind of could, because he really, really liked how happy Liam looked as he smiled over at Zayn, and the sound of his easy laugh as he joked around with his sisters. He really, really liked pretty much everything about Liam.
"Unh unh unh," Zayn called out as they pulled into the drop off line in front of the school, turning around in his seat to stop Safaa before she could get out of the car. "I think you're forgetting something," he said, tapping his finger against his nose.
"Oh yeah," she smiled, placing her hands on his cheeks and leaning in give him an eskimo kiss. Liam smiled at the exchange, his eyebrows popping up in surprise as she turned to him next, grabbing his cheeks with both hands and smushing his face together as she rubbed the tip of her nose against his.
"Bye Liam! Bye Zayn, I love you!" she yelled loudly as she hopped out of the car and ran to take Waliyha's hand. Zayn sighed as he opened his door so that he could get out to shut hers, calling out a quick goodbye to both girls before climbing back into the car. They waited until they were inside to pull away from the curb, and when Zayn looked over at Liam he saw that his face was tinged pink, like he was embarrassed by the whole exchange.
"Sorry about that," Zayn said quickly. "She's never been shy."
Liam's mouth straightened into a thin line, his eyebrows pressing down.
"What?" Zayn asked, confused as to why Liam was looking at him like that.
"You're always doing that," Liam began, sounding exasperated. "Apologizing for them, like it's a bad thing that getting to know you means having to spend time with them."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that there's no reason to apologize for them, because they bring out the best in you. You're like, all kinds of adorable around them."
Zayn sat back in his seat, staring straight ahead. "I am not adorable. I am rugged and manly and extremely handsome, but I am not adorable," he insisted in a clipped tone.
"You really are though," Liam argued with a smile. "Like, I thought you were hot from the first moment I saw you on the field - don't smirk at me like that, you cocky bastard - and I knew I wanted to hook up with you after I tackled you, but-"
"You totally did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"Pretty smooth, huh?" he asked with a grin before continuing. "But it wasn't until I saw how you were you with your sisters that I decided that I actually wanted to get to know you."
Zayn knew that he shouldn't press for more, but he couldn't stop himself from asking, "And now that you know me?"
Liam cocked his head to the side to look at him, like he was considering the question, before facing the road again. "Think I might keep you around for a while."
Zayn tried not to smile at that, he really did, but a grin found its way onto his face anyway. He turned away from Liam, looking out the window as they pulled onto the highway, trying to work up some excitement. He'd loved road trips as a kid. He'd spent countless hours bundled in the backseat with a pillow and a Capri Sun, a comic book in his lap, the seats pushed back so that he and Doniya could stretch out. They'd make fun of their parents as they sang along to the radio, laughing their way along the miles as they traveled to see their grandparents, who always had a glass jar of candy on their coffee table and a five dollar bill for Zayn.
He didn't love road trips anymore.
But with Liam he found that they weren't so bad. He pointed out landmark after landmark along the way, places that wouldn't have meant anything to Zayn if they hadn't been accompanied by stories from Liam's childhood, when he'd seemed to do nothing but travel. His storytelling was animated to say the least, his hands never staying on the wheel for long as he gestured dramatically, and Zayn found himself wishing that they could take a real trip together.
But maybe they could. Think I might keep you around for a while. Zayn liked the sound of that. A lot. Like, maybe a little too much, the idea that Liam might want this thing between them - whatever it was - to last making him feel happier than he had a right to. He felt a warmth in his chest whenever he looked over at Liam, and it felt incongruous with what he was heading to do. He avoided looking at him for this very reason as they traveled north, guilt flooding through him over how happy he was to be with Liam when he was about to break Clark's heart.
His own heart felt full in a way it never had before, and it was all because of Liam. Liam, who was currently annoying the hell out of by singing along - loudly - to one of the songs from what he'd cryptically called "The Before Playlist."
"Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean...Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine...Can you handle the curves, can you run all the lights...If you can baby boy, then we can go all night-"
"Who sings this song again?" Zayn interrupted.
Liam looked over at him, incredulous. "It's Rihanna," he answered, and Zayn could see him mentally tacking on a duh at the end.
"Why don't you let her sing it for a bit then, 'kay?"
Liam laughed, tossing his head back, then immediately started singing again, only twice as loudly this time.
Zayn shook his head, pressing his lips together to keep from smiling. A few minutes later he found himself singing along too, laughing as he realized that all of the songs playing were about driving, and that Liam truly was the biggest dork in the world. The hours passed by easily this way, until they were almost to Buffalo. The minutes seemed to slow down as they neared their destination, panic building inside of Zayn as he began to recognize landmarks from the one other trip he'd made this far upstate.
He closed his eyes and chewed on his thumbnail, willing his heart rate to slow down and trying to remind himself that it was just a normal road, and nothing more. But it felt like a lot more, and he wondered if he should just feign sleep, keeping his eyes closed until they got to Clark's, or if that would just make it worse, his imagination and memories far more haunting than anything he would see now, so many years later.
He should've been more prepared. It had been four years for fuck's sake. Four years in which he should have recovered enough to drive down a stretch of highway. But as they neared the road where it had all happened, he realized that he wasn't prepared, not one bit, not at all. Not for the memories that were already flooding back to him, of broken glass and bloody pavement and Safaa's cries as he rushed her and Waliyha to the side of the road, leaving a one year old and an eleven year old to fend for themselves so that he could check on his parents, who were already beyond saving.
He was snapped out of his dark thoughts when he heard Liam turn on the blinker, his eyes darting to the exit ramp he was heading them towards in confusion. "No, this isn't the right exit. We've still got a ways to go."
"I thought we might take some back roads instead," Liam said. His voice was calm and steady, but something in his tone and the pointed way he wasn't looking at Zayn told him that this hadn't been a last minute decision.
"How did you know?"
Liam shrugged. "I asked Don. That's not a place you should have to revisit, ever."
Zayn was at a loss for words, struck stupid by a rush of affection for the man sitting next to him. A simple, "Thank you," was all he could manage without letting all of the things he wanted to say to Liam spill out of him. He knew that it wasn't enough - not nearly - but Liam seemed to understand, giving him a small smile as he reached over to rest his hand on Zayn's where it lay on his thigh.
"Is this just you still fighting for me, or are you actually this perfect all the time?" Zayn finally asked, thinking back to what Liam had said to him when he'd first found out about Clark.
"Honestly, it stopped feeling like a game a long time ago," he admitted quietly. "Though I'm definitely winning," he added quickly, like he thought he'd said too much and needed to lessen the weight of his words with a joke.
Zayn suddenly felt terrible. Despite his best efforts to hide it, he knew that Liam was well aware that Zayn liked him. But he had no idea just how much, or how often Zayn thought of him, and how those thoughts never failed to make him smile.
But he couldn't tell Liam any of that. "You definitely are," he agreed instead, and he was glad that he'd said it when Liam's face brightened.
They were quiet as they neared Clark's, but they never stopped holding hands, and Zayn felt slightly calmer than he'd expected to as they pulled up to her place. He tilted his head back, looking up at the apartment building he'd heard so much about but never visited.
"Are you sure she's home?" Liam asked suddenly, as if it'd just occurred to him that they could have traveled all this way just to find out that she wasn't there.
Zayn nodded. "I texted her before we left. She said she'd be home all day."
"So she knows you're coming?"
Zayn turned away from Liam to look out the window again. "I wanted to give her some warning, you know?" The truth was he'd tried to warn her in other ways too over the past couple of weeks, by not texting her back right away or telling he loved her as often. And he knew that Clark had gotten the message, her own texts and calls becoming more and more frequent as she felt him pulling away. He felt like shit for how he'd been handling the situation, but was at a loss as to how to end things without hurting her.
"You okay?" Liam asked, drawing Zayn's attention back to him. He looked like he was genuinely concerned for Zayn's feelings, his soft smile reminding Zayn of why he was doing this.
Zayn didn't answer, because he wasn't okay, not really. "Meet me back here in an hour?" he asked, reaching for the door handle.
"I'll be here," Liam promised.
The knowledge that Liam would be there waiting for him at the end of all this was the only thing that gave Zayn the push he needed to get out of the car. He waited until Liam'd driven off to head towards the building, letting out a deep breath before pulling open the door to the lobby. He ignored the elevator and headed for the stairs instead, needing to burn off some of the nervous energy building inside him.
He could do this. He told himself this again and again as he walked up the three flights of stairs, and he'd almost convinced himself that it was true as he raised his fist and knocked on the door to her apartment.
She opened it almost immediately, like she'd been waiting just on the other side, and she looked so upset already that Zayn had to force himself to walk over the threshold as she stepped back to let him in.
He couldn't do this.
He couldn't, but he would, for Liam. And for Clark, because she deserved to find someone who wanted to be around her as much as he wanted to be around Liam.
She didn't try to hug him, or even say hello, just led him into the living room and sat down on the sofa, tucking a leg beneath her. She watched him warily as he sat down a couple of feet away from her and looked around the room.
They'd Facetimed often enough that the apartment was familiar to him, though it was different seeing it in person. Clark looked different to him too, the happiness he usually saw in her face when they were together replaced with anxiety. She had dark circles under her eyes, and Zayn hoped that she hadn't been staying up nights worrying about him.
"I know why you're here," she said quietly, looking down at her lap, where she was wringing her fingers.
Zayn swallowed. "You do?"
"Yeah, and I just want to know why. I don't understand what's changed," she said, finally looking up at him. "We're good together, Zayn. We always have been."
"I just think we need some time apart, to try other things," he said, as gently as he could.
"Don't you love me anymore?" she asked.
Zayn felt a lump form in his throat at how hurt she sounded, pressure building behind his eyes. "I do, Clark. I'll always love you," he told her truthfully.
"Then what is it? Is there someone else?"
Zayn stood up, unable to sit still as the speech he'd planned died on his lips. "Clark, I..."
"It's Liam, isn't it?"
Zayn took a step back, his surprise at hearing her mention Liam's name almost knocking him off of his feet. "What? How...why would you think that?" he asked, confused.
She let out a hollow laugh, a harsh, bitter sound that was so unlike her usual soft giggle that Zayn had to look away, not wanting to remember her like this. "A blind person could've seen the way he looked at you, and I noticed how you reacted to him, but...I never thought you'd actually-" she cut off, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. She was taking big, heaving gulps of air, like she couldn't get enough oxygen, and Zayn had to physically restrain himself from reaching out to her, knowing that it would be the last thing she'd want.
"I'm so sorry, Clark. I never wanted to hurt you. I- I thought it was just like, a phase, or something I could get over, but-"
"But now you want to be with him and not me," she finished for him, her voice breaking.
Zayn didn't want to hurt her further, so he didn't say anything at all.
She stood and started pacing the room, running a hand through her hair. "And you've been staying with him, oh my god," she said, coming to a stop. "Have you had sex with him?" she demanded.
"No," Zayn assured her emphatically.
"But you've hooked up, haven't you?" she pressed, her voice rising with every word.
"Clark, please don't do this," he begged. He didn't want to have to tell her that he'd cheated on her, but he wouldn't lie to her either.
She closed her eyes, shaking her head from side to side, and Zayn knew that she was trying not to cry. He could see the battle raging inside her, as she fought between being hurt and being angry. Anger won out in the end, and her eyes were dry when she opened them to look at Zayn.
"Did you come here to confess, or to break up with me?" she asked, her voice hard.
Zayn didn't say anything, which was answer enough.
"Get out," she ordered.
Zayn first instinct was to refuse, to stay right where he was until he'd had the chance to tell her again that he still loved her, and that he always would. Until he'd earned her forgiveness, and made her promise that they could stay friends. But instead he nodded slowly and did as she asked, because it would have been selfish for him to stay when she wanted him to go, and he didn't want to be selfish with her anymore.
He was sitting on the curb when Liam pulled up, his arms draped over his knees and his head hung down between his shoulders. Liam didn't ask any questions when he climbed into the car, and if he noticed how red his eyes were, well, he didn't say anything about that either.
They were quiet for a long while, and almost an hour had passed by the time Zayn realized that he wasn't the only one who was upset.
"Are you okay?" he asked, noticing for the first time how tightly Liam was gripping the steering wheel, and the nervous glances he kept shooting him.
Liam hesitated, darting his eyes towards Zayn and then quickly looking back at the road again. "Listen, I...I kinda did something, and I don't want you to get mad."
Zayn felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise, a sliver of fear causing his stomach to sink. "What'd you do?"
"Just promise me you won't get mad and I'll tell you," he said, holding his pinkie up in the air.
"I'm not promising shit, just tell me what you did, Liam," Zayn demanded.
"Okay, well. While you were doing, you know, what you had to do, I kinda went to see my parents."
"Why would that make me mad? I think that's great."
"Yeah, so we kinda made up, I guess, and I...I got this," he said, reaching above his head to pull something out from his visor.
Zayn took it from him, his chest tightening as he saw that it was a check from Liam's father, made out to Liam but obviously not really for him at all, since it was for the exact amount that the repairs to Zayn's kitchen were going to cost. He opened his mouth to speak but found that the words were caught in his throat, all of the million things he wanted to say seeming too inconsequential in the light of such generosity.
"Pull over," he finally managed to get out.
Liam looked over at him warily. "Look, I know you want to fight me on this, but if you'd just think about it-"
"Liam, can you please pull over? I don't want to fight you, you big dummy."
"You don't?"
"No," Zayn said exasperatedly. "I just really, really need to kiss you. Like, right this fucking second."
The next thing Zayn knew the console was digging into his side as Liam swerved the car to the right, slamming on the brakes as soon as he was out of the road.
"Yeah?" he asked as he put the car into park. "You're not mad at me?"
"Actually I am extremely mad at you. But I also need to kiss you so fucking bad I can't stand it," Zayn told him, already reaching towards him.
Liam held up a hand to stop him from getting too close. "Did you do it?"
Zayn nodded, knowing exactly what Liam was asking him. "I'm all yours," he breathed, before adding, "If you want me."
"Oh, I want you," Liam assured him, unbuckling his seat belt and leaning back against the car door. "And you wanna kiss me, so bad you can't stand it," Liam teased, raising his eyebrows suggestively but not coming any closer.
"Liam..." Zayn warned, unbuckling his own seat belt.
"You think I'm great, don't you? You probably say to yourself, 'that Liam, he's half man, half amazing.'"
"And humble too," Zayn added, rolling his eyes.
"He's my hero," Liam continued, imitating Zayn once again.
Zayn pulled a face. "You're really ruining the mood here, Liam."
"Some might even say a superhero," he went on, his Brooklyn accent getting thicker.
"Seriously. I'm gonna need you to shut up now," Zayn told him.
Liam raised his eyebrows, pointing at himself. "Me? You want me to shut up?" he asked, finally giving in and moving closer, one elbow edging onto the armrest. Zayn took the opportunity presented to him, sliding a warm hand over Liam's, moving from his wrist to his forearm, a hard grip on soft skin. Liam responded in kind, twisting his body so that his other hand could grasp the back of Zayn's neck, fingers weaving into his hair and forcing him closer. "Why don't you make me?"
Zayn paused just before they kissed, their noses brushing and pressing in, breathing each other in, until the anticipation of their first guilt-free kiss was too much, and he couldn't wait any longer. Couldn't hold back anymore, not when there was nothing left to keep them apart.
Zayn gasped as their lips finally met. The kiss was like a dance, choreographed to perfection without even trying, their heads angling from side to side as their mouths met again and again, Zayn's tongue sliding between Liam's parted lips almost immediately, needing to be as close to him as possible. He felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks, the time they'd spent not kissing seeming like an eternity. Because this was what they were meant to be doing. What they were made for, their lips and mouths and hands and bodies designed to fit against the other's, in a way that no one else's ever could.
Zayn tried to press closer, groaning in frustration when the console got in his way, the check clutched in his hand crinkling as he pulled Liam halfway over it. He could feel Liam's fingers tracing along the pulse in his neck as he deepened the kiss. He knew that it must be beating wildly, and he hoped that it didn't give away too much. About how much he wanted Liam. How much he liked him, and the fact that he always wanted him around, despite what he sometimes claimed. He hoped that it didn't give away his heart.
"I can't believe you did this for me," Zayn mumbled in between kisses, smiling against Liam's lips.
"It wasn't just for you. I was being stupid, staying mad at them just because they wanted me to go to college, when I know that you'd give anything for the chance to talk to your parents again."
Zayn rested his forehead against Liam's, trying to catch his breath. "What'd you say you needed the money for?"
Liam shrugged, like it was no big deal that he'd borrowed several thousand dollars from a father he hadn't spoken to in months, all for Zayn. "I told him that someone special to me needed it."
"And am I your someone special, Liam?" Zayn asked cheekily.
Liam rolled his eyes. "Actually, I was talking about Doniya."
"Haha," Zayn put on a pretend pout before growing more serious. "Thank you for doing this, Li, but I still can't take your money," he said, handing the check back to him.
"I thought you might say that," Liam said with a deep sigh as he dug his phone out from his jeans. "Guess I'll have to go with plan B."
"What's plan B?"
"Don't worry about it," was Liam's only response as he sent off a text and hooked his phone up to the aux cord, hitting a few buttons before dropping it into the cup holder. "Time for The After Playlist," he said with a smile.
"Tell me what plan B is, Liam." Zayn tried his best to sound threatening, but the easy smile on Liam's face told him he wasn't succeeding. "You really are amazing, you know that?"
"I am?" Liam asked, clearly delighted.
"Yes," Zayn said, sitting back in his seat and folding his arms over his chest. "Amazingly annoying."
Liam laughed, looking Zayn up and down, and a second later he was scrambling over the console and into the back seat.
"Get back here," he ordered, crooking a finger at Zayn.
"We're in the middle of the road, Liam," he pointed out.
Liam surged forward, capturing Zayn's lips with his own, his hands cupping his cheeks. "I just need a minute, to feel you on top of me," he told him, and how the fuck was Zayn supposed to say no to that? He was only human after all.
"This is probably illegal," he told him, though the words carried little weight since he was climbing into the back seat just as eagerly as Liam had.
"I guess that makes you a pretty terrible cop then, huh?" Liam muttered, pulling Zayn onto his lap.
And then they were kissing again, and Zayn didn't care if they ended up in jail for it, because he never wanted to do anything else. That was until Liam gripped his waist, pulling him down so that he could rock against him, and suddenly all Zayn could think about was all of the other things he wanted to be doing. A song drifted out from the speakers, and though he didn't recognize it he could tell that it was about sex, and he was really fucking okay with the mood Liam was trying to set with this new playlist, like he knew as well as Zayn did that they wouldn't be able to wait until they got home to hook up.
Liam's hands slipped under his sweatshirt, sliding up his back to wrap around his shoulders, allowing him to move Zayn's body against his own. Zayn moaned as his hard length brushed against the bulge in Liam's jeans. The touch was electric, sending sparks across his skin and shivers down his spine.
He wanted more.
"I'm gonna need you to break whatever traffic laws it takes to get us home as soon as possible," he panted against Liam's open mouth. Already the windows were fogging up, and Zayn was almost positive that despite his last words there was not a chance in hell that he was going to be able to make it all the way back to Liam's without getting both of them off. "Need to fuck you so bad."
"Unh unh," Liam said, shaking his head no even as his hips rocked up against Zayn, clearly saying yes.
"What do you mean, unh unh?" he asked, confused as to how Liam could even be considering denying giving him what he needed most.
"Not gonna- oh fuck," he cut off as Zayn reached between them to unbutton his jeans. "Not gonna fuck you until we go on a date," he managed to finish.
"What?" Zayn demanded, pulling back so that he could stare at him incredulously, his hands frozen on his own zipper.
Liam looked wrecked already, but his words were steady when he spoke, like he'd been planning on saying this for a while.
"I don't think we should have sex yet. Not until I've taken you out on a real date."
"Liam, we're grown men. I know I've only ever been with one person, but are you really telling me you've never had sex with someone you weren't dating?" he asked, trying to ignore the jealousy that surged through him at the thought of these theoretical hookups.
"That was different. You're different. I want it to be perfect," he said, reaching up to brush Zayn's hair out of his face. "You deserve perfect."
"But we already went on a date," Zayn whined. "We went to that restaurant, the first time we hung out, remember?"
Liam shook his head. "That wasn't a date."
"It kinda felt like a date," Zayn argued. He didn't mind admitting the truth if it meant he might get some.
"You thought I was trying to hook up with your sister. That automatically makes it not a date. And you an idiot," he added with a laugh.
"What about the club? We even kissed afterwards, which is a very end of date type of thing to do."
"Harry was there. And Niall. And Doniya. Not a date," he insisted, drumming his fingers on Zayn's thighs.
"Fine," Zayn groaned, fisting the front of Liam's t-shirt with both hands. "You want a date, I'll give you a date. Let's swing through a McDonald's and get this thing going."
"That's not the kind of date I have in mind, and anyways, I've got to work tonight."
"What?" Zayn asked, his voice high and needy as the night he'd fantasized about for so long slipped further out of reach.
Liam looked rueful. "Shift starts at seven."
"Why didn't you say something? I'm not sure we'll be back in time," Zayn said worriedly, twisting back to look at the clock on the dashboard.
"Believe me," Liam said, squeezing Zayn's sides to get him to look back at him, "everything that's happened today will make getting written up well worth it."
"Well then when are we supposed to go on this stupid date?" Zayn grumbled, though he kind of liked the idea that Liam wanted to make it special for them.
Liam smiled shyly, fiddling with the hem of Zayn's sweatshirt. "How about I get ready at the station tomorrow, and I'll pick you up as soon as I'm off? Say about seven fifteen?"
"It's a date," Zayn agreed, unable to hold back his smile as he said the words, his heart fluttering at the thought of going on an actual date with Liam, not to mention what might happen afterwards. And then his smile promptly fell, because that meant that he had to wait more than twenty-four hours to finally have sex with Liam.
"You know what's no fun?" he asked, climbing off of Liam and folding his arms over his chest. "You, ever."
"Hey, I'm loads of fun!" he protested.
"No, you're not. Because if you were then you'd be inside me right now, letting me get off on your cock," he pouted, running a hand over where he was still half hard.
"Come on now," Liam urged, bumping him with his shoulder. "I wouldn't say no to a hand job..."
Zayn shot him a look, his lips pursed.
"Maybe some road head?" he tried with a hopeful smile.
"I didn't break up with her to get your dick in my mouth," Zayn reminded him.
Liam chuckled, looking away from him, but it sounded forced to Zayn's ears. And he didn't miss the way Liam's muscles tensed for an instant, before he forced himself to relax.
"Hey," Zayn said softly, lifting a hand to Liam's chin to get him to look at him. "You know I didn't break up with her just so we could have sex, right?"
Liam waved a hand in the air. "Yeah, of course," he agreed unconvincingly.
"I mean it, Liam. I needed to break up with her anyway. Being able to do this," he said, trailing is hand down Liam's chest and stomach to the front of his open jeans, "is just an added incentive." He curled his fingers around Liam's length through his boxers, stroking him until he was fully hard again.
"Yeah?" Liam asked, his breath hitching.
"Yeah," Zayn confirmed, tilting his head to bring his lips to Liam's throat.
Liam arched his neck, giving Zayn more skin to kiss as he got even harder under Zayn's hand. "Can you think of any other incentives you might be interested in taking advantage of?"
"Mmhmm," Zayn murmured into his neck, kissing his way from his birthmark up to his lips. "Maybe something like this?" he asked, pulling Liam's cock out of his boxers with one hand while sliding the other to the back of Liam's head, pulling him closer as he started to jerk him off faster.
Liam pulled back, looking around quickly to make sure that no one could see them. "It's a good thing these windows are tinted."
"A very good thing," Zayn agreed, pushing Liam back against the door so that he could fit between his legs.
His mouth was on him a second later, a thrill running through him as Liam moaned above him.
"Oh fuck," he said, banging his head back against the window. "Fuck, it's been so long."
Zayn looked up at him through his eyelashes, sucking in his cheekbones so that the sides of his cheeks dragged along Liam's length as he moved him in and out of his mouth, gagging as the head of his cock nudged the back of his throat.
"Oh my god, don't look at me like that. Gonna make me come so fucking fast," Liam grunted. Zayn moaned at his words, his own hips rocking forward, desperately searching for friction and finding none. He fumbled with one hand to push his pants down enough to get a hand around himself, already feeling dangerously close to coming. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed doing this. How much he loved the way Liam tasted, and the weight of him on his tongue. How much he wanted to make Liam come undone with just his mouth.
He redoubled his efforts, sucking Liam down and fucking into his fist at the same pace. "Fuck Zayn, you look so good sucking my cock," Liam praised him, his hands gripping the sides of his head to hold him still. He lifted his hips off of the seat, pushing farther inside Zayn's mouth as Zayn's hand began to move faster, his orgasm racing towards him. "Not gonna last long," Liam warned him, his words matching Zayn's thoughts.
"Tell me how good it feels," Zayn pulled off to plead.
"So fucking good, Zayn. Want this to last forever," he moaned, and Zayn didn't know whether he was talking about the blow job or whatever was happening between them, but either way Zayn agreed wholeheartedly. He wanted this - Liam hard and wanting him, gasping and moaning and falling apart because of the way Zayn was making him feel - forever. But he also wanted road trips and family dinners and first dates with him. He wanted it all, and he hoped that Liam did too.
"Yeah baby, just like that," Liam breathed, his hips stilling as his cock pulsed on Zayn's tongue, spilling into his mouth. His orgasm seemed to last forever, his breathing labored as he filled Zayn's mouth to the brim. Zayn swallowed every last bit of it, not wanting to waste a drop, and as soon as Liam let go of his head he was climbing onto the seat on top of him, his hand a blur on his cock as Liam lifted his t-shirt up to his chest, just in time for Zayn to start coming, streaks of white landing on Liam's abs.
Zayn fell back onto the seat when he'd finished, feeling better than he had in weeks. His head rolled to the side, and he chuckled softly as he watched Liam staring at the mess on his stomach. "You should leave it. Little something to remember me by while you're at work."
Liam looked at him with half-hooded eyes. "It's a good thing you're so pretty, 'cause you sure are a pain in the ass," he told him, wiping at his stomach with a towel he'd grabbed from the floor.
Zayn batted his eyelashes. "You love me," he teased.
Liam looked at him for a long moment, the silence stretching out between them, causing Zayn's offhanded comment to sound like more than he'd meant it to. "Maybe," Liam said finally, before looking down to button his jeans, like he hadn't just blown Zayn's mind.
Maybe. Zayn could work with maybe.