May 3rd
9:51 PM
I slumped down in my chair, watching my milkshake slowly melt. Aria sipped hers, while Abaddon and Reaper had already finished their own. Sarinna had declined to have one. We sat around a table in the center of the crew quarters in smothering silence, my question hanging in the air as if I'd just threatened to shoot them.
"Why don't you tell us what you saw first," Reaper shot back harshly, having been in a foul mood ever since being put through Cioase's test.
"Kaeya," I snapped. "I saw Kaeya, and I let her put her hand clean through my chest, nearly killing me. I couldn't even consider killing her to protect myself, even once I'd realized it wasn't really her."
Reaper whistled, "I suppose that's not surprising."
I glared at her, "Oh yeah? What about you? Did you pass the test?"
She grimaced, the test clearly an unpleasant memory for her. "Yeah," she answered, "I did. I tore apart Leo's chest before I even realized who it was I was firing at, and then I got to spend four minutes talking to him as he died." She raised her voice angrily, "So yeah, I passed that test with flying fucking colours!"
Abaddon put his hand on hers and she grabbed it tightly, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths.
"I read his mind. He had genuine thoughts, as if he really was Leo. He was worried about how I was doing, and wanted to know if I was happier now. He was wondering how his old crew was doing, and wanted to tell me how proud of me he is." She sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with one hand. "That wasn't a test," she growled, "that was torture."
She rose from her chair a walked over to the milkshake machine in the corner of the room, pouring herself another one.
"I saw my mother," Aria said quietly. "I was lucky enough to realize that it wasn't really her, though, since my mother never went anywhere without her rifle. I still can't get the sound of her exoskeleton shattering out of my head..." She looked at me, her face twisted in disgusted confusion, "Why did they put us through such a thing?"
I sat back in my seat, taking a sip of my milkshake as I thought about what Cioase had told me in our conversation. "She told me that they were testing people to see if they could kill the person they loved the most," I answered, "when that person was a danger to them."
Abaddon frowned, staring at his empty cup. "That's an awfully specific trait to test for," he said, puzzled.
I nodded in agreement, "It is, but she refused to tell me why they were testing for it. Who did you see?"
He stared at Reaper -who was still at the milkshake machine- for a long moment. "I saw my mother," he answered finally, "and I just couldn't bring myself to shoot her. I ran from her instead."
I looked between him and Reaper, and decided that he was lying. I didn't see any reason to press him, though.
I looked at Sarinna, "What abou-"
"My brother," she spat, interrupting me. "I could feel the psychic energy of the creature that was imitating him though, so I was under no illusion as to who I was really looking at."
"So you passed your test?" I asked as gently as I could.
"No," she responded sharply. "I immobilized the creature with my powers and then just... Enjoyed having my brother beside me, even if I did know that it was just a fake copy."
I stared at my milkshake, "I can certainly understand wanting to do that..."
"So wait," Abaddon piped up. "Doesn't that mean that only two of us passed? If we failed their test then why did they decide to give us the cargo?"
"She mentioned seeing great potential in my future," I said as I sipped on my milkshake. It tasted much better half-melted.
"Potential?" Aria asked, confused. "Like, you're a psychic or something?"
I shrugged, "She didn't specify."
I took another sip from my milkshake, the icy cold painfully freezing the roof of my mouth.
Reaper set her new milkshake down on the table and dropped into her chair, sighing deeply. "So what comes next, Kalani? The Grezma are waiting for their delivery, and in return they will tell us where Kaeya is, but what if she's being held somewhere in the Federation that we can't reach?" She gestured around the table, "We're not exactly upstanding citizens by their metrics."
My brain-freeze was lasting a lot longer than I liked. "Viliana's ship is equipped with a stealth core. If needed to, I will ask her to help us."
Abaddon leaned forward in his seat, his interest piqued, "A stealth core? You mean like those cloaking devices in movies? You guys actually have stuff like that?"
"Yeah," I replied, "though it was new technology even by Teracon standards. It won't help in a fight, but it should let us infiltrate nearly anywhere in the Federation."
Abaddon let out a low whistle, and I could see that Reaper was thinking about the ways she could use such technology.
"What if Viliana isn't willing to help?" Reaper asked slowly.
I took another sip of my milkshake, apparently not content with letting my brain-freeze go away. "Then we go in with my ship."
Sarinna shook her head, "You didn't seem like a fool to me, so surely you understand that that would be suicide?"
I looked her dead in the eyes, "I might as well already be dead without Kaeya."
"So you are foolish. Why are you so obsessed with this Kaeya? What about the people next to you? Do you care nothing for them?"
I jumped to my feet and seized my milkshake in my hand, throwing it to the floor in rage.
Oh no.
"You are nothing compared to Kaeya!"
This was wrong.
"You will never understand me as she does, never share in my life as she does!"
Share in my life? I hadn't seen her in decades.
"Do you think that I should just abandon her to rot in some Federation prison?! To be tortured every day until she dies?!"
Sarinna doesn't even know any of this, it's not fair to get angry at her.
"What do the people next to me matter when the one person in this entire galaxy that cares about me is missing!?"
That's wrong, they do care about me, I know that.
I turned to storm out of the room and tripped over my chair, crashing to the floor with it. The fall shattered my anger, and the tears escaped.
I didn't want to show them this.
I tried to stand up, pushing up off my sideways chair, but my knees were too weak to support me and I slumped down. The dam inside me burst.
They needed a leader, and leaders didn't cry. What would they think of me now?
I started sobbing, all my fear and isolation and loneliness and refusal to admit it all finally escaping me. I couldn't stop it anymore, and my tears flowed freely.
Then Aria walked over to me, bent down, and gave a warm, strong hug. I cried harder. The world around me dissolved into nothing, and I just let all my pent-up emotions out into that void. I couldn't be strong anymore; had I ever been strong?
Aria's arms around me were strong, Reaper and Abaddon's joined hands were strong, Sarinna sacrificing her legs to save my life was strong, Rylie's dedication to healing people was strong; I had been weak. In the last month I had seen more compassion and selflessness among pirates and enemy soldiers than I had seen in my entire life, and I had rejected that compassion. I had responded by distancing myself from them and viewing them as nothing more than tools, and that was the farthest thing from strength that I could think of.
I kept sobbing.
I didn't deserve anybody's help. Reaper had originally offered to help me because I had her life in my hands, though she seemed genuinely interested in helping me rescue Kaeya now. Abaddon was here for Reaper, but his intelligence and knowledge had helped me greatly, and no matter the reason, he was helping me immensely despite owing me nothing. I had put Aria in harm's way half a dozen times in the short time that we'd known each other, yet she loyally followed me like I was her saviour. Rylie joined us despite us hitting him with a grenade, and he had already saved several lives -likely including my own- since joining on with us. Sarinna risked her own life to save that of someone she only knew as an enemy combatant, and now she was training Reaper for nothing more than the opportunity to escape the Order of Traya.
It was disgraceful of me to think that I was their leader. Leadership was something you earned, and I hadn't earned anything.
"I'm sorry," I managed between sobs. "I'm so sorry..."
Reaper crouched down beside me, and Aria gently let go of me. I looked at Reaper, sniffing, "I almost killed you when we first met."
She titled her head left and right, "To be fair, I attacked you, so you were pretty justified there."
"You didn't have to help me afterwards," I scratched out, my hiccups and sobbing making talking a difficult endeavor. "You could've broken your end of the deal after we defeated your mother."
She nodded, "Yes, I could have. But you also could have simply killed me and not risked your life helping a destitute pirate."
I chuckled through my tears, "I'm still not sure I made a good decision."
"You probably didn't," she said, smiling, "but we're here now and I would like to meet Kaeya."
"I would too," Aria added. "If you're willing to do so much for her, then she must be really special."
I rubbed my eyes with my fists. "Yeah, she's pretty special... I can't possibly thank you all of you enough for helping me."
"We aren't helping you for thanks," Aria said, "we're helping you because it's the right thing to do." She offered me her hand and I took it, pulling myself back to my feet.
Sarinna crossed her arms, watching me carefully. "What is it that I've gotten myself involved in?" she asked bluntly.
I told them all my entire life story.
-----
"So you think the Federation has captured her and her crew and ship?" Sarinna asked.
I nodded, "Like I said, she told me herself that she was in a Federation prison."
"And the Grezma pirates are going to find her in exchange for you delivering whatever is currently in the cargo bay of this ship?"
"Yes."
"And then you're going to go and try to break her out, even if it's likely to cost you your life?"
"Mhm."
She looked at Rylie, who had joined us shortly after I'd started sharing my life story, "As a doctor, shouldn't you be opposed to such a dangerous plan?"
They tapped their empty milkshake cup, "Actually, I've been thinking a lot recently, and I got in contact with my old network."
"That doesn't sound like condemnation to me," Sarinna said.
They looked at her, a passion and fierceness in their eyes that made them unrecognizable as the person that had given up on life barely a week ago. "Since meeting you guys I have already saved over a dozen lives, and watched as you marched onwards even in the face of overwhelming foes. I know more about the Federation than almost anyone, and that means that I know damn well that they need to be destroyed. I need to face my own overwhelming foe."
"Wait, do you think that their plan is good?" she asked them incredulously.
"I think that their plan is just, and I trust that they aren't going to go and pointlessly get themselves killed for nothing."
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, and then slumped back in her wheelchair, "You're all crazy."
"I think that everyone is a little bit crazy," I said to her, smirking. "Certainly in the past I would've thought anyone crazy if they told me that I would find myself working with multiple pirate groups, an Order of Traya captain, and a Federation investigative doctor in my search for Kaeya."
She looked around at each of us, but found that she was alone in her dissent, and she threw her hands up, "Alright! I guess we're storming the Federation!"
"We'll discuss the exact plan once we know where specifically she's being held," I said. "What were you talking about though, Rylie?"
They gave me a bittersweet smile, "I'm going to return to the Federation."
"Isn't that incredibly dangerous?" I asked.
"Whether it's dangerous or not doesn't matter; I have to do this. I swore an oath to ensure the well-being of my patients, and to stand idle while the Federation egregiously violates all ethics and human rights in the pursuit of their own personal profit is to break that oath. There's a revolution brewing and I'm going back to join it."
I stood up and walked over to Rylie, holding out my hand. They took it firmly. "We were lucky to meet you, Rylie. Will you need help getting back into the Federation?"
They shook their head, "I appreciate the offer, but I've already arranged for transportation. I'll be leaving shortly after we get back to your station."
"That's a shame," I said jokingly, "we are probably gonna be in need a doctor after we rescue Kaeya."
"Oh, that reminds me," they said suddenly, grasping my hand with both of theirs. "If you encounter a Dark-Ops team while rescuing your fiance, you need to get out of there immediately. They will kill all of you if you don't."
"Wait, wait," Abaddon interrupted, "I thought that Dark-Ops teams were just a myth that Ernwich Entertainment brewed up to scare their citizens into line."
Rylie shook their head, their expression grave, "I wish they were. I've seen the aftermath of their work in my investigations, and I can assure you that they are most definitely real."
"Avoid fighting Dark-Ops," I summarized, "got it. Any other hidden threats you know of?"
Rylie grinned, "Diabetes. Cut back on the milkshakes."
Everyone burst out laughing as Aria feigned horror at the suggestion, and we all talked into the late hours of the night.
May 7th
6:00 AM
We arrived home early in the morning, Dushel station relatively quiet. The second half of our trip was much smoother than the first half, and we were slightly ahead of our initial schedule.
The Grezma had arrived early anyways.
They were floating about a kilometre off the station: three small frigates and an unusually blocky heavy cruiser. They pulled in to dock alongside us, and we had the early morning pleasure of walking off our ships to the piercing noise of their ridiculous trumpeting.
I glanced around, confirming that my ship was fine and that Viliana's was still here, and then went to greet the same power-armoured Grezma representative as last time.
"How have you been," I asked her casually as I yawned.
"You have the cargo?" She asked back unenthusiastically.
I pointed at Reaper's crew, who were currently moving the cargo into the docking bay with Aria's help, "It's all there."
The woman pulled out a grey, heavy-duty tablet and handed it to me. "The information you asked for."
I felt my heart speed up as I stared at the tablet, the knowledge that I was so close to rescuing Kaeya both exhilarating and unnerving. "Thank you very much," I said.
She simply nodded and left, leaving me standing in the middle of the docking bay holding the key to rescuing my fiance.
"Welcome back, Kalani," Alizabeth said through my armour's interface.
"Nice to hear your voice, Alizabeth. We've finally found her."
"I've already downloaded the data on the tablet, and there's more good news," she said cheerily. "Kaeya is currently being held in an orbital station on the southern border of the Federation. It's only four jumps away from us."
"Perfect," I replied, setting off towards my ship, "I was worried about moving through Federation space with the bounty on my head, but it looks like we won't have to. Ready the fabrication array, I need to fix the armour that Kaeya left for me."
"Roger that," she confirmed. "I'll load it up with the minerals we've been mining from the asteroid belt, there should be enough."
"And can you call Viliana to my ship once she's awake? I need to ask for her help with what comes next."
"Will do, Kalani."
Five days. In five days we were going to rescue Kaeya.