It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe we're fireproof...
Zayn didn't want to be melodramatic, but this was the worst thing that could possibly happen. Liam and Clark could not both be in the same place at the same time. They couldn't. All of the nervous energy he'd felt moments before was gone, replaced by legitimate fear over what would happen when they met.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he stood frozen in the doorway, watching as a huge smile spread across Clark's face, her eyes going soft as she spotted Zayn. He hadn't seen her since her semester had started back in September, but she looked just as pretty as ever as she moved Safaa off of her lap so that she could stand.
He couldn't believe that she was actually there, and he realized with a start that he hadn't thought of her for hours, Liam the only person on his mind since the moment he'd seen him on the field. If he was being honest Liam had been the only person occupying his thoughts for days, or maybe even weeks, but that really wasn't fair, because Clark had been right there, in the background at least, texting him hello every morning and asking him about his day every night.
Clark was walking towards him, already holding her arms out for a hug, but he couldn't help risking a glance at Liam. He looked so happy, cheeks still tinged pink from Doniya catching them in the hallway, like he didn't know that Zayn's carefully constructed world was falling apart at that very moment.
"Here Benjamin," Liam called as he bent down to pat his knees, earning a squeal of approval from Safaa.
"He's right there, silly," she laughed, pointing at his feet.
Clark reached Zayn just as Liam crouched down to pet Benjamin. He wrapped his arms around her automatically, her head tucked under his chin and the scent of her shampoo reminding him of home. Not the home that he was standing in now, but the house he'd grown up in, countless hours spent on the sofa with Clark, doing their homework and watching movies side by side until his parents got home and they all had dinner as a family. Clark was family, and a scalding shame burned through him at the thought of what he'd just done with Liam.
Liam looked up from his spot on the floor, his eyes flitting to where Zayn's arms were still wrapped around Clark's waist. Zayn dropped them to his sides at once, his hands shaking a bit because this was actually fucking happening.
"Hi," Clark said brightly, giving Liam a little wave.
"Oh shit, sorry," Zayn mumbled, his mind searching desperately for a way to get out of this situation and finding none. "Um. Clark, this is Liam Payne. Liam, this is Karma Clark."
Clark cringed, poking Zayn in the side. "Please call me Clark. Just because my parents are hippies doesn't mean that I am," she told him, sounding exasperated as she held out her hand for him to shake. Liam took it, a friendly smile on his face. "How do you know Zayn?" she asked him.
Zayn cut in before he could answer. "Liam's in the football league too. He uh, he gave me a ride home from the game."
"That was nice of you, Liam," she smiled sweetly, sliding an arm around Zayn's waist and resting her head on his shoulder, her movements comfortable and familiar. "I told him he shouldn't even play today considering his injury, but you know how he is."
"I do," Liam agreed. He was still smiling, but there was a tightening around his eyes that belied his easy answer. "I'm sorry, but how do you two know each other?" he asked as he looked back and forth between the two of them. His eyes settled on Zayn, but it was Clark who answered.
"I'm his girlfriend."
Liam looked at her as she spoke, then turned his head slowly towards Zayn, as if hoping that he'd call her a liar. But Zayn couldn't call her a liar. Couldn't do anything but watch as his two worlds collided, the meeting threatening to destroy everything he cared about.
"Huh. Funny you never mentioned her to me, Zayn. And here I thought we were friends," he murmured, his voice turning a bit sharp on the word friends.
Zayn's teeth worried at his lower lip as he shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out to either of them. "Are you sure? I thought I had," he said quietly, the lie getting stuck in his throat.
"Pretty sure I would have remembered that," Liam said, and this time there was no mistaking the edge in his voice.
Zayn turned quickly to Clark. "Listen, I left my phone in Liam's car. We're gonna run down and get it and I'll be right back," he told her before grabbing Liam's sleeve and pulling him towards the door, needing to get him out of there before he said anything more.
As soon as they were in the hallway Liam yanked his arm out of Zayn's grasp. He stormed away from him, jerking the door to the stairway open without a second glance back. Zayn ran after him, finally catching up to him on the second floor landing and jumping in front of him so that he couldn't go any farther.
"I'm sorry; I had no idea she was coming."
"That's what you're sorry about?" Liam yelled.
Zayn shushed him hurriedly. "I should've told you, I know. I'm sorry, okay?"
Liam was quiet for a moment, staring intently at Zayn as he deliberated, and his voice was troubled when he spoke again. "Just tell me I haven't been wasting my time chasing after a straight guy."
Zayn could see the anger lurking just under the surface of Liam's calm exterior, and he knew what was causing it. He knew there were guys who played gay when it suited them, claiming to be straight but still wanting to know what it was like to be with a man. Guys who wanted blow jobs from boys with pretty mouths, but who never seemed to be down for returning the favor. Zayn was well aware of how pretty Liam's mouth was, but when it came to Liam he wanted to give as much as he wanted to get.
"You haven't, I promise," he assured him.
"So you like guys?" Liam pressed.
"That's what I just said, isn't it?" Zayn said, rolling his eyes.
"Zayn..." Liam coaxed, taking a step towards Zayn.
Zayn felt like his whole body was on fire, and not in a good way. "Yes, I like guys, okay?" he hissed. "In theory," he added quietly, looking down at the floor.
Liam moved forward, narrowing his eyes. "In theory? Do you like them or not?"
Zayn looked up at him, jaw twitching. "You're really fucking annoying, you know that?"
Liam took another step forward, close enough now that Zayn could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest. "Answer the question, Zayn."
Zayn let out a deep breath. "Yes, Liam, I like guys, fuck. And for some unknown goddamn reason I might even like you."
Zayn hoped that this admission would be enough to satisfy Liam, but he must have forgotten who he was dealing with, because Liam wasn't letting up, closing what little distance there was between them, pressing Zayn's back against the wall. "But..." he urged.
Zayn huffed, exhaling through his nose and looking anywhere but at Liam. "But I've never been with one, okay? I've never been with anyone but Clark."
Liam cocked his head to the side, his eyes going wide with wonder. "How is that possible, when you look like you do?" he asked, resting one hand on the wall next to Zayn's head while the other came up to his face, the backs of his fingers trailing slowly up and down Zayn's jaw.
"We've been together since we were fifteen," he said, moving to look at Liam as Liam slid his hand into the back of his hair.
"So you've never done anything with a guy?"
Zayn shook his head no, noting the way Liam's eyes darkened at his admission. Liam's lips were parted, his breath fanning out over Zayn's face, and Zayn had never wanted to kiss him more. He turned his head to the side, his heart pounding wildly as he fought against the temptation that was Liam Payne. "I never wanted anyone but her, until...until you," he murmured, the words feeling like yet another betrayal.
"Fuck," Liam groaned, forcing Zayn to look at him so that he could rest his forehead against Zayn's. "That should not turn me on as much as it does."
Zayn closed his eyes, trying to regain control of his breathing and promising himself that he and Liam were through, even as he brought his hands up to clutch at Liam's shoulders.
"Do you know how much I could show you?" Liam asked, tugging lightly on Zayn's hair to make him tilt his head up. "How good I could make you feel?"
Zayn let out a tremulous breath and forced himself to shake his head. "We- we can't. Me and Clark...we've got history."
Liam released him at once, and Zayn regretted the loss of his touch immediately. Liam looked just as upset as Zayn felt, and Zayn couldn't help but reach out to him, bringing him closer once again, his hands sliding around Liam's neck as Liam's arms held on tight to his waist.
"Just tell me that you don't like me, Zayn. Tell me you don't want me and I'll leave you alone," Liam breathed, tucking his head into Zayn's neck and skimming his lips along the sensitive skin just below his ear.
Zayn opened his mouth to say the words that he needed to say and that Liam needed to hear, but found himself speechless as Liam kissed his way up Zayn's throat and along his jaw, pausing when he reached his lips, his eyes searching Zayn's for any sign that Zayn didn't want this. He found none, and they were kissing an instant later. Zayn melted into it, every nerve in his body attuned to the way that Liam's lips were moving against his own.
Liam hands moved to the back of Zayn's thighs, lifting him up and hooking his legs around his back. He pushed him up against the wall, moving against him slowly, rhythmically, until all Zayn could feel, all he could think about, was how much he wanted Liam. And then suddenly Liam was setting him down and stepping away, leaving Zayn a confused, breathless mess.
Liam, on the other hand, looked totally in control as he gazed at Zayn, his eyes bright with mischief.
"You might not have noticed, but I kinda like to win," he smirked, slinging an arm around Zayn's shoulder as he started walking them down the stairs. "And if you're the prize, well then, I really don't see myself giving up any time soon."
Zayn felt an uneasy weight settle in his stomach, at the same time that a frisson of excitement shot through him. "What does that mean?" he asked tentatively, just as Liam pushed open the door to his building, a blast of cold air hitting them as they headed towards his car.
"It means I'm not going to kiss you again, or touch you again, while you're with her, but I'm gonna show you what you're missing out on every chance I get," he told Zayn, hooking his arm tighter around Zayn's neck to bring him closer, speaking his next words into Zayn's ear. "I'm not going to make this easy for you. In fact I'm gonna make it very, very hard for you."
Zayn let out a nervous laugh as Liam released him and unlocked his car. He had no idea what Liam was getting at, but he knew that it was without a doubt going to lead to nothing but trouble for him.
"What're you talking about, exactly?"
Liam smiled as he held out Zayn's phone. "Don't worry, you'll see soon enough."
But Zayn was worried, nerves filling him to the brim as he turned to go back inside and realized that Liam was right behind him. "Are you...are you coming back up?"
"Of course. Unless you wanted to be alone with your girlfriend?"
"No," Zayn said quickly. "You can come in, if you want."
"Oh, I want to, Zayn, I really do."
Zayn didn't say anything to that, torn between wanting to tell Liam that it was a bad idea and not wanting to hurt his feelings. But it was a really fucking bad idea, something Zayn realized as soon as they got back to the apartment, when Liam immediately plopped down on the couch next to Clark.
"Where's the pizza?" Safaa whined.
"Sorry sweets," Zayn said, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "The uh, the line was really long. We're gonna order some now. Right, Liam?"
"Right. What does everybody want? How about you?" Liam asked, turning his attention to Clark. "Karma was it?"
"It's Clark," she reminded him, her smile tight. "Zayn and I always get plain cheese."
Liam turned to Zayn, the smallest suggestion of a smile on his lips. "Is that what you want, Zayn? Or do you want to try something new? Maybe some sausage?"
Zayn choked on his tongue. "Just get me pepperoni," he gritted out after a moment, refusing to pick a side.
Liam smiled knowingly as he stood up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I really think you'd prefer the sausage," he murmured as he walked by Zayn on his way into the kitchen. Zayn ignored him, taking his place on the sofa and turning to face Clark.
"How's school going?" he asked her, trying his best to focus on her and not the way Liam was bending over the kitchen counter as he ordered the pizza, his head turned so that he could look over his shoulder at Zayn.
"It's great. Well, super busy, but great. Professor Lockwood - you remember I told you about him?" Zayn didn't, but he nodded his head anyway, trying to look at her and not at Liam, who'd picked Safaa up and was dancing around the kitchen with her. "He's the one who recommended me for the internship over the summer, and he says that he thinks they'll offer me a full-time position as soon as I graduate."
"That's awesome, babe. Congrats," he murmured distractedly.
"You know what that means, right?" she asked, leaning in closer and lowering her voice so that only Zayn could hear her. "It means that we'll be able to afford a place of our own."
Zayn jerked back, his attention solely on her for the first time. "But what about the girls? I can't just leave Don to handle everything."
"No, of course not," she agreed readily. Zayn let out a deep breath, thankful that they were still on the same page. "Between both our salaries you'll still be able to help out with money. And we can get a place that's super close, so that you can visit all the time."
He opened his mouth to speak but didn't get the chance, Liam choosing that moment to come back into the room, sitting down on the floor in front of the coffee table, Safaa right beside him.
"What are you two love birds talking about?" he asked with a sweet as sugar smile that Zayn wasn't buying for a second.
"Clark's school," Zayn said quickly, trying not to think about Clark's plans for their future living arrangements. He knew that it wasn't fair to expect her to want to live with his sisters for the next ten or fifteen years. No one would want that.
"Where do you go?" Liam asked her, his interest seeming as genuine as his smile.
"The University of Buffalo."
Liam's smile faltered a notch. "UB? My uh...my family is very involved in their alumni programs."
"Wait, Liam Payne? Like, as in the William Statler Payne Academic Center? Is that your dad or something?" Clark asked with a laugh.
Liam scratched the back of his head, sheepish. "My great-grandfather actually," he finally admitted. "I'm the first in a long line of Paynes not to go to school there."
"Oh, where'd you go?"
"Nowhere. It didn't-," he cleared his throat, "doesn't - sit well with my parents, but I always knew I wanted to be a firefighter. Pretending to want anything else seemed like a waste of time," he added, looking right at Zayn.
Zayn looked right back at him, realizing just how much Liam had given up when he'd moved to the city. "Is that why you-"
He didn't get a chance to finish as a knock sounded at the door. "Pizza's here!" Liam smiled at Safaa, his eyebrows raised high. "I'll get it," he said as he stood up.
"I'm coming too!" Safaa insisted, scrambling to her feet and grabbing Liam's hand as he started towards the door.
Zayn's fingers twitched as he watched them, part of him wishing that he was the one holding Liam's hand. Which was really fucking ridiculous, because they'd held hands for a total of about two point three seconds, and it hadn't even been that great.
Doniya and Waliyha joined them for dinner, and luckily for Zayn they handled the bulk of the conversation, since he was too busy waiting for Liam's next move and watching Clark for any hint of suspicion to say much.
"Mmmmhhhh," Liam moaned dramatically, sitting back after the last piece had been finished and sucking his fingers into his mouth one by one. "That sausage was delicious. Almost the best thing I've tasted today."
Zayn really hated him sometimes.
Safaa leaned over to put her hand on Zayn's knee, drawing his attention away from Liam, who was now licking his lips, the fucker. "Dessert?" she asked hopefully.
Zayn smiled down at her. "I'm sure we can find something."
The problem was, the only things Zayn could find for dessert in their cramped freezer were popsicles, and no fucking way was he trusting Liam with one of those after the display he'd just put on with his fingers.
But Liam, because he was the devil, was right behind him, snatching the box out of his hand before he could shove it behind a bag of frozen broccoli.
"Ooh, I love these. Good call, Zayn," he murmured, giving Zayn's waist a quick squeeze before heading back into the living room to hand out the popsicles. Zayn followed him, sitting back down next to Clark, who leaned into his side.
"What color do you want, Zayn?" Liam asked, holding to box out to Zayn. "I know you like red."
"I'm not hungry," Zayn said, trying to keep his voice light.
"How about you, Clark? They're low calorie."
Zayn turned his head sharply towards Liam, but thankfully Clark just laughed. "I'll take a purple."
And then they were both sucking away, and Zayn didn't know where to look. But he did know that it would be a really bad fucking idea to look at Liam - he could already hear him slurping loudly - so he focused on the TV instead, grabbing the remote so that he could see what was on.
He could see Liam typing on his phone out of the corner of his eye, but he forced himself to look away, not wanting to think about who he might be texting. It was Saturday night after all, and it wasn't like he could expect Liam to just sit around waiting for him when he had a girlfriend. Liam was perfectly free to text whoever he wanted to, or even to go out with someone else if that was what he really wanted.
The thought made Zayn a little sick.
He felt a little better when his own phone buzzed in his pocket, the realization that he was the person Liam had been texting bringing a small, satisfied smile to his face as he opened up the message.
Liam: Did I ever tell u that I don't have a gag reflex?
Zayn's head shot up to look at Liam - he couldn't help it - just in time to see Liam's lips wrap around the tip of his popsicle. Zayn turned away quickly, before he could see just how good Liam was at deep throating, his promise of how good he could make Zayn feel still fresh in his mind.
He turned his attention back to the TV, settling on a football game, the teams' blue and red jerseys reminding him a little of his and Liam's.
"Never thought I'd see the day that Zayn Malik would willingly watch a football game," Clark teased, turning her head to the side to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"It's not so bad," he murmured quietly.
"Did someone say football?" Liam asked, looking up from where he was coloring on the floor with Safaa to glance at the screen. "Good choice, man," he praised Zayn, his smile fading as his eyes caught sight of something just past Clark's shoulder. Zayn followed his gaze, to where he was slowly winding Clark's ponytail around his hand, a habit so ingrained that he hadn't even realized he'd been doing it. He let go of her hair right away, but it was too late, Liam already standing up.
"Wow, I didn't realize it was this late," he said, looking at Doniya and Waliyha and basically anyone who wasn't Zayn. "I better be going."
"Liam, wait," Zayn started, standing up from the sofa and taking a step towards him.
"No, really, I- I've gotta go," he insisted quietly, holding a hand up to stop Zayn from coming any closer. He was out the door a second later, and Zayn was left standing there, his girlfriend behind him, tugging on his hand to bring him back down to the couch.
"Is he always like that?"
"Like what?" Zayn asked, still looking at the door.
Clark shrugged. "He's just kind of strange, isn't he?"
Now it was Zayn's turn to shrug. He didn't want to talk to Clark about Liam.
"I should really get going too," she said with a sigh.
"You're not staying the night?" he asked, feeling more relieved than he should have.
"I wish I could, but I'm supposed to have brunch with the girls, and then I've got to work on my project for Principles of Finance."
Zayn nodded understandingly, even though he didn't have a clue which girls she was referring to, or what her project required. Not for the first time, it hit him that she had this whole life - friends and classes and parties - that he knew almost nothing about.
"I'll walk you down."
He waited by the door as she hugged each of his sisters goodbye in turn, smiling fondly when Safaa told her that she loved her.
"I love you too, Saf," Clark said, blowing her a kiss as she held her hand out for Zayn. He took it, trying not to compare the way it felt in his own to how it had felt to hold Liam's hand. She chatted excitedly about her plans for the week as they walked down the stairs, but he stayed quiet, trying to remind himself that liking Liam didn't mean that he loved Clark any less.
And as he looked down at her and she looked up at him, her pretty almond-shaped eyes shining bright in the moonlight, a smile playing on her lips as she stood up on the tips of her toes to kiss him goodbye, he knew that he did still love her. But, as their lips met for a kiss - one that was sweet and familiar and like everything about Clark, felt like home -, he realized that the opposite was also true: that loving Clark didn't mean that he liked Liam any less.
Doniya was alone when he got back upstairs, the book in her lap doing nothing to hide the fact that she was waiting for him. He knew there was no way to avoid her, the sound of splashing of water coming from the bathroom telling him that Waliyha and Safaa wouldn't be bothering them for a while.
"What're you doing, Zayn?" she asked, looking up at him with worried eyes.
He sat down on the sofa, slumping against her, his head resting on her shoulder. "I have no idea," he admitted.