...
amara woke up - when she was supposed to, this time - to someone shaking her awake.
" 'ey, yous alright?" the figure asked, and amara was too tired to decipher the voice.
"wha-" she rubbed her eyes, yawning a little. her eyes refocused, seeing jack standing in front of her, his expression a cross between worried and confused. "what's wrong?"
"nothin', yous were just shakin' in your sleep," jack said simply, hoping it was nothing. "come on, the bell's a ringin'."
amara reluctantly obliged, taking his hand to jump up, but immediately groaning in pain. her leg hadn't gotten any better, and there were bruises on her stomach that made it difficult to sit up. "fuck," she whispered, biting her lip.
jack's eyes widened. "yous okay?"
amara didn't answer. she didn't know.
running a hand through his hair, he exhaled. "yous gonna stay here, at least until yous get better," he finally said, his tone serious.
"but-i's gotta sell-" amara began, but immediately getting shut up by jack.
"not when your leg is like that. i ain't letting yous get any more hurt. understood?"
she nodded a little. this was probably one of the reasons why jojo said jack was like a mother.
"good," jack smiled softly. "i's can get one of the boys to check up on yous."
amara scoffed. "i's can look afta myself."
he tilted his head. "i ain't riskin' anything," he laughed a little, giving her a light shove. "meanwhile, i don't want yous goin' out an sellin'. okay?"
"okay," amara grumbled mockingly, rolling her eyes.
jack nodded and turned away to the other boys in the room. " 'ey!" he shouted above all the commotion, not continuing until everyone was quiet and paying attention. "if yous haven't already met 'er, this is amara," he pointed to the girl on the bunk, who waved a little. "be nice to 'er and say hi when yous can," he paused, making sure everyone was listening.
a chorus of "hi amara" 's erupted in the room, and jack laughed.
"like i said, be nice to 'er, and DON'T try anything. looking at you, romeo," he pointed to a boy who was busy fixing his hair in a mirror. the room snickered at that, and romeo stuck out his tongue. jack stuck his tongue out back, rolling his eyes. "now what are yous all looking around for? yous got papers to sell, move it!" he shouted, the room immediately going back to what it was like before.
amara grinned softly, resting her head on the wall, closing her eyes. it was an unusual thing to like - noise - but it drowned out all her thoughts. it was good sometimes to just sit somewhere loud and just let herself just slip away with the tide. and other times it was nice to be sitting in the quiet, but now, it was relaxing to hear the world moving around her while she sat where she was.
" 'ey," a soft voice interrupted amara's constant stream of, well, it wasn't thoughts. "can i sit here?"
amara looked up, catching someone's eye contact. there was a short boy standing next to amara's bunk, a little smile on his face. he was leaning on a wooden crutch and his eyes seemed to twinkle in the light. "of course," amara smiled back, shuffling over so there was room for him to sit.
the boy grinned a little more, sitting down next to her. "i'm crutchie," he held out his hand for her to shake and amara took it gently, shaking it.
"amara," she replied.
"i know," he laughed, waving over to where jack was standing. "sorry if he's a bit over 'da top. he likes makin' an impression," he explained, rolling his eyes.
"i's don't mind," amara looked over in his direction. "he can hold a conversation, i's admire that."
crutchie scoffed. "if he's too much, just tells me. i's the only one he seems 'ta listen to," he grinned, turning back to amara.
"oh?" the girl raised an eyebrow.
crutchie's cheeks tinted quickly. "no, not like that!" he almost squealed, hitting amara in the shoulder.
"sure," amara teased, laughing.
"i mean it," his statement didn't hide the fact that his face was a rosy pink. he looked up quickly, as if he heard his name. "i thinks i'd better be off. you stayin' again t'night?"
she shrugged. "maybe. i's got family, though. i'll try," amara suggested rather guiltily.
the boy nodded, using his crutch to pull himself up. "see yous around," crutchie grinned, face still pink as he went down the hall. amara gave him a small wave and let her head fall back against the wall.
what was she going to do?
her eyes scanned along the walls of the lodging house, dancing along every swirl in the ceiling or crevice in the floor. one window - which looked like it was probably a fire escape - had a lock that looked a little loose. amara made a mental note to go up there when she could walk properly.
the room fell awfully quiet, as all the boys had left, and there was a sudden realisation in amara's mind that she was all alone. she didn't mind alone, alone was good - alone was peaceful. she didn't like lonely, though. she found that she could sometimes be lonely with people, and that was the worst feeling of all.
the sound of two boys, arguing rather loudly, took away that lonely feeling - at least a little bit.
"i ain't doin' it! i got papers to sell!"
"yeah so do i, asshole! you ain't the only one here who's gotta eat!"
"that ain't what i said!
"why is you even arguing anyways? you know she's cute!"
"why'd yous hafta say it like that?"
"ay, you know i's right."
"...shuddup."
amara laughed a little.
the arguing stopped, and amara shook her head with a smile, knowing they heard her.
"see," the first voice said again, quieter as if he wouldn't be heard. "she heard yous."
amara heard the second boy clicking his tongue. "you're on ya own. later," he said quickly, and the girl heard footsteps as he ran out of the door. there was a sigh, and footsteps getting closer. amara tried to straighten her posture, but immediately winced in pain.
the figure turned the corner, and amara was met with racetrack's stupid face with his stupid cheeky grin. "jack sent me here-" he began, but amara cut him off.
"don't act like yous wasn' just shoutin' at the top of ya lungs," she rolled her eyes, whining softly as she shifted on the bed as racetrack sat down. "that was some conversation yous had."
"i-uh, it was nothin'," racetrack mumbled as his cheeks tinted a light pink, and amara folded her arms, careful not to injure herself any more. "you alright?"
"mentally, no. m' brain's a bit bruised," amara joked softly. "its not 'ta only thing that's bruised."
"is 'ya ego alright?" the boy teased, eyes sparkling a diamond blue.
"shuddup!" amara shoved him in the shoulder, but whining a little as there was a bruise on her own shoulder that hadn't healed much.
"can't make me," racetrack teased, sticking out his tongue. there was a thought of maybe i's can make you, that passed through amara's mind, but she didn't say anything. " 'ey, be careful."
"shoulda said that to oscar," amara spat his name like a sour aftertaste on her tongue. "fuckin' bastard don't know how 'ta treat someone." the girl's eyes squinted as she remembered how he threw her to the ground and pushed her up against the wall. sure, she won against him, but for how long? it was a pathetic effort. one more punch, and she would have been out. spot wouldn't be happy.
racetrack tilted his head, eyes softening. "can i's see? 'ta bruises, i's mean," he said quietly, not wanting to be super creepy or anything. "i's just might be able 'ta help."
"uh," amara thought about it for a second, knowing he wasn't being rude, but feeling a little uncomfortable. "i's dunno."
"it's alright," racetrack looked down at his hands quickly, blushing. "i's don't wanna make yous feel awkward, i's just do this for 'ta boys sometimes."
without really thinking it through, amara slipped her suspenders down her waist, taking off her shirt so she was only in her singlet. her shoulders and some of her back were now exposed, and she turned a little so racetrack could see.
the blonde boy looked up, and he gasped softly under his breath. painted up and down her back and shoulders were little purple marks, like someone took a paintbrush of dark paint and slammed it down vertically on her skin. some of them had gone a little yellow too, so it looked like flowers. they were a pretty contrast against her soft pale skin that was splattered with little brown freckles. they looked like stars - constellations. it looked like a painting - she did. she looked like a painting. why wasn't she in a museum? wasn't that where art was meant to be?
"race?" amara asked softly, and the boy realised he was staring.
"uh, yeah?"
amara felt like the opposite of what racetrack was doing. judged - critiqued. "i's better go," amara said quietly, slipping her shirt back on before he could say much else. he was still in a trance, he barely knew what was going on until amara whined as she got up from the bed.
"where yous goin?" racetrack asked, tilting his head and jumping up beside her. "jack said yous had 'ta stay here."
"well jack ain't here now," amara shot back, her voice a little sharp.
racetrack didn't have a snarky remark to reply to her with, instead he just sat back down on 'her' bed and watched her hobble out the door.
what the hell just happened?
...
when amara got back to brooklyn, it was near one in the afternoon, and she was in so much pain, she thought she was going to faint. she wasn't the only one who was on the verge of collapsing - spot rushing up to her the second she got to the bridge.
"flo!" he shouted out, hair frizzled and breathing heavily. "where the hell were ya?"
the girl took a second to reply. "manhattan," she said quietly.
"why were ya there? ah, forget it, i's just glad yous back, 'ta kids were drivin' us crazy," spot went on and on, dragging amara over to the lodging house, despite the groans and whimpers that escaped her lips. he probably didn't hear her, he looked like he was about to send a lost and found party out for the girl.
the girl, however, would have much rather be lost.
scratch that, she already was lost.