"Astronomy is so neat, don't you think?" Lily gave a bit of a blissful sigh, as the Gryffindors headed back to their tower after class.
Remus shuffled along, really tired since he hadn't gotten a nap in the evening and hadn't slept well the night before. More nightmares. He had woken up multiple times, shaky and sweaty though thankfully not screaming. His Occlumency lesson had been pretty rough due to the full moon looming; he couldn't help dredge up memories of previous full moons. Of the pain, of the sorrow, of the transformations. Fawley had only been able to take take delving into his head about three times before she had to stop, too shaken up with thoughts of her deceased sister.
Lily continued talking, the words just barely floating into Remus's consciousness. "I think it's especially fascinating since it's one of the things magic and Muggles have in common! Learning about the stars, I mean."
"Did you l--learn about it in muggle school, then?" Remus asked with a bit of a yawn.
"Uh-huh though not as in depth as this, it was just in science class and didn't have a whole class devoted to it, but it doesn't really affect the Muggle world as much as it does the magic world."
Remus smiled. "Maybe it d-does and Muggles just d-don't realize it."
"That's true," Lily giggled. "I can't wait until class next week.."
"How c-come?"
"Oh, there will be a full moon! Surely Professor Spring will have us studying the moon that night! I love the moon. It's so pretty."
Remus kept the smile on his face while his insides turned to worms. "Y--yes," he managed to say, trying to sound innocent. "I can't w-wait either." He really hoped the others didn't put two and two together if Spring focused on the full moon with him not there.
Lily grabbed Remus's sleeve. "Did you ever see any footage of the Americans landing on the moon?"
"Huh?"
"Have wizards ever been to the moon?"
"What?"
"Muggles haven't been to the moon!" James laughed, listening in to their conversation. "What a load!"
Lily spun around. "They have so! The Americans did. Muggles go into space all the time! Have wizards really not gone in? Ooh, so Muggles are more advanced than wizards in that sense?"
There was a hush over the Gryffindors until suddenly Struthers began laughing. "She's got you there!" he said.
"Potter's right, Muggles are too--too backwards to have gone into space!" said Twycross.
"Are not!" Lily said defensively. "Muggles have gone into space a lot! Americans have walked on the moon!"
"Liar!"
"She isn't!" Struthers snapped. "Just cause wizards can't figure it out doesn't mean Muggles can't!"
"Magic is cool and all but Muggles have science!" Lily added with a stomp of her foot.
Remus stepped back as a loud argument broke out. James, Twycross, Spinnet, and Magpie--all purebloods or near enough in Spinnet's case--were the loudest on the magical side while Lily and Struthers--the only two Muggleborns in the group--argued right back. Then to Remus's surprise, Peter actually joined the Muggle side of things, saying he's seen programs about space and his Muggle grandfather showed him stuff all the time. Then Veronica McNab who had Muggle relatives joined in the Muggle side, insisting that the Muggleborns were right.
Remus, Sirius, Inkwood, Nettle, and Colgate just stood aside, watching with wide eyes, though Remus did hear Sirius mutter, "Muggles can't have." He was about to argue that Muggle science was pretty advanced when he heard footsteps rapidly approaching. To everyone's horror, Filch appeared at the top of a nearby staircase.
"What's all this then?" the caretaker demanded, lifting his lantern. All the Gryffindors went silent. "A whole group out of bed, eh?"
"We were coming from Astronomy," James said casually, taking the position of leader in a heartbeat. "Go ask Spring if you don't believe us."
"Why are you all just standing around then, hmmmmm?" Filch leaned in close to James. "I know you, you're one of the troublemakers."
"Peeves was bothering us," he replied, turning to point at a spot in the air. "He was, at least. I think he said something about knocking some trophies over or something."
Filch glowered at James then began sneering. "Get to your tower immediately. Filthy little brats..." He hurried off, muttering about Peeves.
"Quick thinking, James," Sirius said, patting James's shoulder.
"We better get to the tower, before he comes back," Lily added nervously.
The thirteen students hurried off, the argument long gone. Remus was just glad everyone had shut up about the moon.
*
Dear Remus, 27/10/71
I know this is your favorite time of the year however you also know it is my least favorite. A week ago. I stayed up all night crying, wishing you were here where I could hold you and keep you safe. I know you are safe there, I must trust that you are. Seven years now. It's so hard for me to believe.
I had a nightmare. Of that night. Of what I saw. Of you. My precious baby. I see it so often. It makes it even harder waking up, finding your bed empty. I know I failed, as your mother. I couldn't protect you then. But I will do anything and everything I can to protect you now, you understand that, don't you?
One plus side of it being that time of the year, it's even closer to the Christmas holidays. Closer to when you'll be back where you belong, even if it's only for two weeks.
I cannot wait for you to be in my arms again
Love, Mother
There was a package with a dozen freshly baked pumpkin-chocolate-chip cookies. His favorite. He was tempted to shove half of them in his mouth right away but... Remus hesitated, then divided them up. "H... here..." He offered his new friends two each, planning on giving two to Lily, breaking up one to feed Arthur, keeping three for himself. The smiles from Sirius, James, and Peter made Remus feel good, warmth blossoming in his chest. It was the first time that he actually felt like a real friend, not just a hanger-on. After excusing himself (which he wasn't sure if he was supposed to or not, his friends rarely did that. Was it weird?), he went down the table. "M--my mum made these. I th--thought I'd share with you," he said, offering the cookies to Lily.
Next to her, Colgate and Inkwood began giggling. Lily just smiled. "Thanks!" she said, accepting them. "They look really good."
"My m-mum's p-pretty good at cookies," he replied, wondering why the other two girls were giggling even more now.
"Thanks," she said again, grinning. "Wanna sit with us?"
"N... no thanks, I'll see you later." As he walked off he could hear the girls whispering furiously to Lily. One of them said, I think he likes you! Remus just frowned at that. Of course he liked her, they were friends, weren't they? That seemed a very odd thing to say. Back with the boys, he realized James was smirking until Remus couldn't take another second of it. "What?"
"Nothing," James said while Sirius began snickering. James glanced down at Lily then back at Remus, leaning in close. "So, is she your girlfriend?"
"WHAT? N--no!" Remus yelped, horrified. The song James and Sirius had taunted with him came back into his head. That had been over a month ago. "No! Wh--what--no! Don't you dare st-start that again, or else!"
James threw his hands in the air. "Okay, okay! I wasn't gonna. Was just asking."
Is that what Colgate meant? he wondered, realizing it probably was. Trying not to blush, Remus sat back down, shoving Arthur off his plate. "No, you already got a cookie, buddy." Arthur hooted, nuzzling Remus. "Maybe a little." He picked up a piece of sausage for Arthur to eat. Why does everyone think that? He looked over at Lily whose cheeks were faintly pink. Can't girls and boys be friends? Besides, we're only eleven. He shares his cookies with James and Sirius and Peter and it's nothing. He shares with Lily and it's suddenly ooh you must like each other. That's... weird. And gross. He broke off another piece of sausage for Arthur, trying not to dwell on the whole thing.
*
On Friday in Charms class they finally started learning the levitation charm which pretty much everyone was looking forward to. As soon as Remus and Peter partnered up, he pointed his wand at the feather, said the spell, watching with a smile as it floated up.
"Whoa!" Peter's jaw dropped. "Amazing!"
"Very good, Mr. Lupin!" Flitwick said. "First try!"
Remus ducked his head, faintly blushing. It hadn't been his first try. He realized earlier in the week there was nothing stopping him from practicing curriculum spells in advance, and had been doing the levitation charm all week. He could already lift up to half a pound with enough focus and concentration. A feather was nothing.
"Now I'm gonna look totally stupid," Peter said which made Remus felt a little bad. "Wingardium leviosa!" The feather didn't move. "Wingardium leviosa! C'mon..." He bent in close, wand poking at the feather. "Wingardium leviosa! How did you do it so easily?"
"Here... hold your w-wand like this and... move your wr--wrist like this..."
"Like this?"
"No, more like--like this." Peter kept flailing then Remus did something he never expected to do: purposely touch someone else, be the one to initiate the touch. He reached over to nervously, gently take hold of Peter's hand, adjusting his grip, then doing the movement with him. "Like this. Try again."
"Wingardium leviosa!" But still nothing, and Peter's face fell.
Remus glanced around the room to see who else had managed. He already knew James had gotten his done on the first try as Flitwick had congratulated him too. Lily's feather was about a foot off her desk, her eyes shining brightly. She and Remus exchanged a smile.
Then there was a sort of whooshing sound as the desk next to them caught fire, causing Remus to jump. The entire top of the desk. Sirius was holding his wand, looking a bit awkward. "Errrr, whoops."
"How did you manage to set the entire desk on fire?!" James shrieked as he flapped his arms, making the fire bigger.
Sirius stared at the fire then up at James. "Talent?" Flitwick quickly put the fire out, frowning at Sirius who just smiled back. "I think we need another feather."
By the end of class most the students could levitate the feather even a little bit, except for Peter who was practically in tears as they left. "I'm such a failure!"
"No you're not," James said, elbowing him. "You're just... you need a little more time is all."
Peter gave a little moan. "No, I'm a failure."
"Least you didn't set the desk on fire," James laughed.
Sirius snorted. "Fire just likes me, all right? Maybe I'm really just a... really good fire conjurer. Maybe that's my talent. My... fort."
"F... forte?" Remus asked.
"Yeah, that too."
"I'm the only one who c--couldn't do anything!" Peter pointed out, lower lip stuck so far out like a small shelf. "I'm a failure at Charms and--and Transfiguration and--Herbology--and everything! What am I good at? Nothing."
"You're b--better at flying than me," Remus said. "And Potions."
Peter stopped in his tracks, swiveling to look at Remus who worried he had said the wrong thing, but slowly Peter began smiling. "I guess... yeah..."
James clapped Peter on the back. "You're not a failure, you just haven't found your... er, fort."
"Forte," Remus corrected.
James made a face. "Forte."
Remus wondered if maybe he shouldn't correct them. Was it annoying? He wanted to ask them, but also didn't want to draw attention to it. Do other people do that? he wondered as they headed to Herbology. Maybe I won't do it again... He then wondered if there was a book somewhere. How To Be A Normal Human. That laid out social norms, how to talk, what not to say. His parents never corrected him on anything, so if he said wrong things he didn't know. The only thing they ever told him to never talk about was his curse but he knew that.
He hesitated as panic began rising up in him, thinking of all the ways he could break the mask, watching the backs of the three boys walk ahead of him. I need to be careful, more careful.
"You coming, Remus?" Sirius asked, realizing he was falling behind.
"Yeah, c--coming."
*
Halloween morning dawned rather cold and drizzly, but it didn't dampen the students' excitement. It was a Sunday which meant no classes on the holiday. An entire day to do whatever they wanted, celebrate however they wanted. Except for the Gryffindor Quidditch team who had practice in the morning, as well as James and Sirius went out to watch. They invited Peter and Remus along but Peter didn't want to go out in the rain and Remus had less than zero interest in Quidditch, so the two black-haired boys just went together. Peter yawned and rolled over, going back to sleep.
Remus was rather tired with the moon coming up but he didn't really feel like sleeping any more so he got dressed and went down to the Great Hall for a nice hearty breakfast. A few of the decorations were already up. Great big cobwebs in the corners of the room with huge spiders wriggling around, their legs twitching. Remus shoved food in his mouth, watching the spiders move, wondering if they were were real or not. They looked real enough.
Once in the library Remus sought out books full of scary stories. He found a few then crawled under a table--one with a tablecloth, hiding him--to read for the rest of the morning. He was so enthralled he didn't even realize how much time passed until his stomach started hurting bringing him back to reality at mid-afternoon, lunch long gone. After checking out one of the books, he went to the kitchens. The house-elves were running around, preparing for the feast, but one of them took some time to get Remus a sandwich to sustain him until the feast started.
"Where have you been all day? We were looking for you," Sirius said when Remus went up to the dorm room. They were preparing for the feast too: firecrackers carefully laid out, organized by size.
"L--library."
"We looked there," he said with a frown. Remus just shrugged, not wanting to admit he had been underneath a table. "All right so what do you think, should we go by size or by color?"
"Telling you, we should end with gold and scarlet fireworks," James said, tapping two of them.
"Yeah but they aren't that big, we should end with a bang!" Sirius replied, hands spreading out to indicate an explosion.
"How are you g--getting them in?" Remus inquired, very curious about that.
Both boys exchanged looks. "Robes pockets," James answered. "We can fit them all between three of us."
Remus raised his eyebrows, hoping they weren't meaning him to be the third. "And set--setting them off? Without being seen?"
"Under the table." James tapped the side of his head with his finger. "We've thought this through, don't you worry."
Remus very much so doubted they thought it through, but he didn't day anything in response to that. He just nodded, hoping the rockets wouldn't upset the spiders too much.
Sirius, James, and Peter put on their school robes over their casual clothes so they could begin filling the pockets with the firefrackers. It was interesting, in Remus's opinion, how their 'casual clothes' differed. Peter in regular jeans and a simple striped shirt, James in bellbottoms paired with a very 60s shirt that said GROOVY in tie-dyed lettering, and Sirius in nicely pressed black slacks and a silky looking black button-up shirt. All their clothing looked new, aside from James's shirt, making Remus feel even more pathetic with his faded, torn, ratty jeans and the ancient Beauxbatons sweatshirt his father had as a teenager. He considered changing his clothes but all his newer stuff was still old looking from being bought from secondhand shops, plus they were all so big it swallowed him up (of course the Beaxbatons sweatshirt was big on him too since his father had gotten it when he was thirteen).
Down in the Great Hall things were in full swing. Spooky sort of music was playing, coming from all corners of the room at once. There were floating pumpkins everywhere with flickering lights; the ones over Gryffindor were giving off an eerie red light (Ravenclaw blue, Hufflepuff yellow, Slytherin green). The cobwebs crisscrossed over the entire ceiling now which gave the spiders free reign. In each corner of the room were very huge pumpkins that bobbed and swayed to the music. Along the tables were candles being held in what looked like skeleton hands, whose fingers moved slowly on their own. There were orange and black streamers fluttering freely in the air, and the night sky was brighter than ever with the near full moon. Remus hesitated when he saw it, knowing it wasn't full enough to effect him but still feeling a bit frightened.
The feast appeared across the tables, platters full of scrumptious looking food, most of it fancier than their normal dinners. A lot more like what they got on their start-of-term banquet. Remus couldn't help but lick his lips as he began piling food on his gold plate. He thought maybe the other boys were too awed by all of this and changed their mind however after about half an hour, Sirius and Peter slipped off their robes like they were too hot. A few minutes later James disappeared under the table.
When the fireworks started going off, most the students jumped then began clapping, assuming this was part of the feast. The teachers began frowning while McGonagall got a rather pinched-face sort of look. Dumbledore looked rather amused. In fact, if James and Sirius thought they were actually going to be pulling a big prank they were sorely mistaken because once the last one went off with a huge shower of purple sparks, the kids cheered. Dumbledore himself clapped.
"What the heck?" James grumbled, as he reappeared in his seat. "No! They're not supposed to react like this."
"They think it's what the headmaster planned," Peter said.
Sirius smacked his hand against the table "Ugh! Told you we should have used dungbombs."
"Or hair growth potion in some of the food," sighed James.
"If it's any c--consolation, the teachers know s-something's up... McGonagall's looking r--right at you," Remus said. The two of them glanced up at the teachers table where McGonagall had her narrowed eyes focused on James and Sirius.
James reached over, patting Remus's arm. "Thank you, that does make me feel a lot better."
He felt even better after the feast when McGonagall confronted them about everything. They cheerfully admitted they had set them off, and both lost a few points. Remus just shook his head when they told him that, wondering why on earth they were so pleased with getting into trouble, like it was some sort of... award.
That night the four of them stayed up in the common room, telling scary stories. Remus mostly just read out loud from the book he checked out (skipping over one about a werewolf being the monster) but Peter had a few fun Muggle tales to tell them that none of them had ever heard before. One of them gave Sirius an idea. At midnight they all crowded in the bathroom so Sirius could lean in front of the mirror and say 'Bloody Mary' three times. For a split-second there was nothing but silence, then Sir Nicholas popped out of the mirror screaming 'BOO!' sending them running and screaming to their dorm, under their covers, while the house ghost bellowed his laughter after them.