Here's a super long update! Thank you all for the kind words about both my stories, I hope you enjoy this update x
*Dakota's PoV *
It's been two weeks since Jamie told Amelia about our baby, he's been staying with me since and I've loved it. He's been nothing but caring and he cooks for me every day. I've been doing a bit of promo for the peanut butter falcon so he's been watching the house for me. So far, he's kept to his promise of making things up to me, he's even held my hair back for the mornings I've been sick. though I still make sure he sleeps in the spare room every night, none of that funny business just yet.
Today he had a meeting with a solicitor and he's picked me up for lunch and then we have my twelve week scan. He's brought me to my favourite restaurant and we're sat out the way of any attention. He's ordered us a massive chicken platter and a side of fries.
"I'm nervous, about today.." I say quietly, looking down at my plate. "It's going to be fine.. don't worry about it, it's just a check up" he takes my hand under the table, squeezing it gently before we go back to eating our food.
I nod slightly, finishing my meal. Once he pays we head out to his car, and with the radio in the background he drives us to the doctors office. We get taken straight through to the room, and the midwife soon comes through. she has long auburn hair that's tied in a pony tail, she's wearing while trousers and a nurse top, she's got a bit of make up on and a warm smile. She's really pretty.
"Hi, I believe we've met before, I'm Kelly and I'll be your midwife through your pregnancy and after" she smiles and we both shake her hand. "Today I'll be checking everythings going good so far, and we'll set you a due date. We'll then have to make another appointment and we'll go from there." She smiles as she types on the computer.
"If you'd just like to get comfy on the bed over there for me miss Johnson, I'll be right back" she smiles warmly and wanders through the door. I take my jacket off and Jamie holds it whilst I climb onto the bed, taking a deep breath.
She enters the room again holding a file and she wheels the ultrasound machine over to us and takes a seat. "This might be cold" she smiles and I lift my shirt. She squirts the gel on to my stomach and uses the same probe to spread it around.
We soon see the baby on screen, that's grown bigger since the last time I had a scan. The heartbeat filling the room. I turn to Jamie and he's got tears in his eyes, I smile shyly and look back to the screen as kelly frowns. "What's wrong? Is everything okay with my baby?" I watch her, my eyes welling up.
"Just give me one second miss Johnson, I need to get another doctor." She rushes out the door and I watch. "Somethings wrong, whats going on?" I panic, wiping my cheeks as tears fall. "Shhh, calm down... everything's going to be okay, I promise." Jamie kisses my head repeatedly and I rest my head back on the bed as another doctor comes in.
He has white hair, tall, a friendly manner that I warm to immediately. "Miss Johnson, I'm Carl, my colleague here just wants me to check something for her, if you'll relax for me, everything is fine" he smiles warmly, whilst Kelly grabs the probe and starts prodding at my stomach.
My breathing is deep and my heart is beating fast, panicking about the health of my unborn baby. I know Jamie's worried too, I can tell by his eyes. The heartbeat fills the room once more and I watch as they both frown at the screen. "What's wrong?" I whisper, my eyes filling up once more.
"It seems your baby's heartbeat is quite low.. lower than it should be" Dr Carl frowns, before looking at me with sad eyes. Kelly looks at me with sad eyes.
My world falls from my feet beneath me.
I suddenly feel faint.
"Wha.. what does that mean, like, is there anything you can do to help?" Jamie stutters from beside me, a frown across his face. "Sadly, we cant do anything about that but hope the heartbeat gets back to normal on its own.." he smiles sadly at us. "And if it doesn't?" I whisper and Kelly looks to the screen before looking at me.
"It means the heartbeat will slowly stop..." she says quietly and my heart stops. "She'll miscarry?" Jamie whispers and she nods slowly. "We'll leave you two for a few minutes for privacy, then I'll be back through" Kelly smiles sadly, giving me some tissues to wipe my stomach with before moving the machine and leaving the room with the doctor.
When the door shuts behind them I burst into tears, Jamie gently helps me wipe my stomach clean before pulling me to sit up and into his arms. "Let it all out.. I'm here" He whispers against my hair gently, kissing my head a couple of times. His voice is hoarse and it tears at my heart.
For so long I vowed I wouldn't let him back into my life, he's shown to me over and over that he wants me and he loves me, I didn't want to see it, but I still love this man, I need him, now more than ever.
"If this baby is anything like their mommy, they're going to be the strongest baby ever. The heartbeat will get strong again" he whispers and I lean away from him; gazing at his face. His beautiful face.
"I'm going to protect them, I promise" I mumble, he gently wipes my cheeks and kisses my head again. Kelly soon comes back in as I'm dabbing my eyes. Her eyes are a little red too, like she's been crying. I pout, she has the hardest job in the world.
"Did you want some water?" She offers us both but we shake our heads, taking a seat at her desk. She leans to hand me two printed copies of the scan, and I Well up again. "As we said before, there isn't anything we can do about the slow heartbeat.. but I can make you a emergency appointment for next week, we can have another check" she smiles sadly and I nod, stroking my thumb over the black and white photo of our baby.
"That would be great.." Jamie says, taking my hand and squeezing it. "If I may speak out of term, this happened with two of my pregnancies.. and I have two healthy girls now" Kelly smiles encouragingly. I look to her and smile a bit, nodding. "Thank you" I whisper.
"What're their names?" I ask and she smiles as she prints out my appointment slip. "Danielle is 5 next month and Keira has just turned 2" she smiles and I smile back, her words giving me hope inside. "They're nice names" I smile, she thanks me before handing over my slip and standing.
"Don't let it worry you, just make sure you're resting when you need to, if you need to phone me at any time then please do" she shakes our hands. We thank her before leaving.
The drive home is silent, I gaze out the window and once we get home I head to the kitchen and grab myself some water. "Things will be okay.." Jamie says and I shake my head. "You don't know that" I whisper, taking a sip of my water.
"No I don't, but I do know that you're going to do anything you can to protect our baby, because that's what you do" he reaches for my hand and I smile slightly. "I will.. I'm glad you're here with me.." I nod, leaning to kiss his cheek gently. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" he strokes my hand gently before letting go.
"I'm going to head for a shower.." I say, finishing my water. Jamie nods and I wander off upstairs. I only just manage to close my bedroom door before the dam breaks and I'm sobbing into my hands. I make it to the bed and lay with my head on the pillow, curling into a ball and letting it all out.
I'm not sure how long I cry for but I soon hear the bedroom door open, and I feel Jamie climbing onto the bed. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me back towards his chest. "You don't have to hide from me.." he whispers gently kissing my head.
"I'm so sorry" I mutter, taking a deep breath and turning slowly to look at him "hey, I won't be having you blaming yourself... nothings happened yet anyway, they're going to be absolutely fine I'm telling you.." he kisses my head and I Well up again.
"will you leave me, if something does happen?" I whisper, looking down at my hands that are tangled together. "Absolutely not" he whispers back taking my hands in his hand, I smile shyly and look up at him. "I'll protect them..." I whisper and he smiles, stroking my cheek and pulling me closer to him, to rest on his chest.
This is where I belong. This is what I've missed the most in the time we've been apart. It's been so long, too long. I let myself relax on him for the first time today, wrapping my arm slowly over his waist.
"I never did get to have a shower" I chuckle a bit, my eyes closed as he holds me close. "You smell good to me already" I feel him laugh against my hair and my heart soars. "I've missed you.." I whisper, turning my gaze to his.
"I told myself I wouldn't let you get too close again... but I've really missed you" my voice is low and hoarse. "I missed you too.. more than you'll ever know" he whispers gazing at me. He cups my face and brings my head to his, our lips connecting for the first time since he came back to me two weeks ago.
We kiss, and I pour all my love for him into it, just as he does the same. His tongue softly strokes my lip and I gasp into his mouth, opening up and allowing our tongues to dance together as one, reuniting.
He pulls back when breathing becomes an issue, pecking my lips with a slight smile before pulling back again and looking at me. "That was nice.." I smile shyly, resting my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. I drift slowly, as he holds me.
I feel Jamie move from under me, he rests me back against the bed and I stir as I feel him sit up, he gently reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "sleep baby" he whispers, kissing my forehead twice. "mmm, I love you.." I mumble sleepily and he kisses my head again before I feel him get off the bed and cover me with a blanket.
----
I stretch and open my eyes slowly, what time is it?? I remember falling asleep, in Jamie's arms.. I remember telling him I loved him.. I blush slightly, covering my face with my hands, hopefully he doesn't comment on it, though, I do love him.. I always have.
I sit up and look to the window, the sky is a mix of orange, pink and yellow. It must be early evening. I untangle my legs from the blanket and get up, the smell of dinner hits me. He must be cooking beef chilli tacos. My mouth waters. My man sure knows how to cook.. well he isn't my man again yet, but he will be.
I strip and slide on my fluffy white pyjamas, shivering as I feel how chilly it is. I head downstairs and Jamie's humming along to the sound system, he must be playing from my iPod. I head over to the thermostat on the wall and crack the heating up a few notches.
"Hey you're awake.. dinners nearly done" he smiles warmly at me, no sign of teasing about telling him I loved him. "I am.. thank you for letting me nap" I giggle, getting myself a bit of water and sitting at the breakfast bar to watch him.
"You needed it... feeling better?" He sets out two dinner plates and grabs the sour cream and guacamole out of the fridge. "I do... thank you for coming to comfort me earlier.. I meant what I said when I said I missed you" I smile shyly, fiddling with the label on my bottle of water.
"I've missed you too" he smiles shyly, dishing out our food and handing me a plate. He takes a seat next to me after grabbing himself a bottle of water and we eat in comfortable silence the music still playing in the back ground. Lewis Capaldi singing 'hold me while you wait'.
I get up to sort the plates but Jamie insists I go and relax, so I giggle as I walk to the sitting room, turning off the sound system and curling up with my feet beneath me, when he's done he comes and sits beside me, I rest my head on his shoulder as he scrolls through the tv channels.
"I... erm I told myself to not mention this, but I really want to know... earlier when you was asleep, before I left, you said you loved me.. did you mean that?" He whispers and I flush slightly, burying my head into his shoulder with a slight smile on my face.
"I was hoping you wouldn't have mentioned this.." I chuckle, covering my face. "I do.. I do love you, I always have" I whisper and peek up at him. His face splits into the biggest smile.
"I love you.. so so much.." he grasps my chin and leans me closer to his lips, kissing me lovingly; letting it linger. "I never stopped loving you" I whisper, kissing him again and again.
"I tried everything to come back to you, I never wanted to leave you, ever.. I'm so sorry I hurt you.. there's nothing I regret more.." I rest my finger over his lips to silence him. "Stop talking.. you don't need to explain to me now... just kiss me" I whisper, my voice hoarse. He pulls me into his lap and our lips lock.
I sit over him with a leg either side of his thigh, my hands tangle in his hair and I tilt his head back slightly to give me better access to his mouth. He groans and it vibrates through my body, turning me on.
Our tongues dance together in his mouth and I moan from the pleasure that radiates through my body. I feel his erection at my pyjama bottoms and I smirk into the kiss, grinding on him. It's been over three months since we last did this, and I want him so badly.
"I need you.. please.." I whimper, pulling from the kiss and kissing my way down his cheek to his throat. "I think we should take it slow Dakota.." I whispers, his eyes closed. "Please.." I beg, grinding against him once more. "Are you sure?" He groans lowly, his hands snaking around my hips.
"Yes.. you've done so much for me the past two weeks.. you've looked after me, you've loved me. Please" I whisper against his chest and we're silent for a moment, I think he's considering it; next thing I know we're up the stairs and in my room.
He shuts the door behind him with his foot, resting me on my bed after taking the covers off. My heads on my pillow as I calm my heavy breathing, watching as Jamie takes his checkered shirt off. I chew my bottom lip and watch him. He crawls over me and in between my legs, planting the softest kisses up my neck and along my jaw until he reaches my mouth.
He pulls me upright and lifts my top over my head before laying me back down and latching his lips onto mine. I groan as our tongues battle together, he tastes so good. I've missed him. I feel his hands on my back and he unclips my bra, sliding the straps down my arms before throwing it into the heap of our clothes that are already on the floor.
I pull away from the kiss when I begin to struggle breathing. My head back against the pillows as I pant and his mouth moves lower. To my breast. He kisses and sucks at my cleavage before using his tongue to tease my nipple until it hardens.
I arch my back as he sucks my nipple, moving onto the next when it's peaked. "That feels so good" I groan loudly and I feel his smirk against me, his lips moving lower, kissing down my stomach. He gets to the waistband of my pyjamas bottoms and using his tongue, licks along slowly, causing me to gasp.
I feel his hands at my hips and he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my bottoms, kneeling up to slide my bottoms and underwear down my legs. He moves my legs wide open and rests himself between them, gently blowing and then kissing the apex of my thighs.
I gasp loudly and arch my back. It's been so long. Too long. My hand tangled into his hair as he licks at my core. "Are you sure about this? We can stop" he breathes against me and I sigh. "Please" I pant and I feel his smile against me. He slides a finger into me and I groan loudly, my head back.
"Fuck.." I gasp out, his tongue and finger both lifting me higher and higher towards my climax. It's going to be quick. I know it. I ride against his finger, his tongue relentless against my clitoris. He slides a second finger into me and I buck my hips against him, my eyes closed tightly as I fall from my high and shatter into a million pieces from my climax, my legs shaking.
I open my eyes slowly, a shy smile on my face and my breathing heavy as I watch him dispose of his jeans, climbing back over me and kissing my cheeks and nose then my lips gently. He's rock hard at my hip and I gasp. I forgot how big he was. Butterflies form in my stomach and for the first time since this started I feel a little excited to be reconnected with him.
He closes his eyes, head back and mouth in a O shape as he enters me. I'm tight and he's hard, but gentle and loving. He pushes all the way in and together we cry out with pure pleasure, I close my eyes as he moves. In. Out. Slowly. Savouring me.
He buries his face into my neck and I wrap both my arms around his neck, holding him close. He keeps the slow passionate pace and I wrap my legs around his waist to find some sort of release. "Jamie... uh I need more" I cry out and he tilts his hips up, causing me to whimper and the pleasure radiates through my whole body.
"I need you to come with me, baby.. please" he whispers, his voice hoarse and breathless as he cocoons me with his body. I groan and throw my head back as I let go, calling his name. He grunts as he fills me with his climax. He rides it out and I hold him close while he holds my head in place and plants soft loving kisses over my face. My lips, my cheeks, my closed eyelids, my nose and my forehead.
Soon enough he pulls out of me, leaning to grab the covers and draping them over us. I turn to look at him, lifting the bed covers to my chin, feeling shy. His eyes are closed and if I'm not mistake a tear falls from his eye.
I frown and gently wipe it away. "I wasn't that bad was I?" I chuckle a little trying to lighten the mood and awkward silence that's fallen around us. It works. He chuckles a bit, shaking his head.
"Definitely not.. you was great" he smiles shyly, opening his eyes. "So was you" I smile shyly. "So what's wrong?". "I just... im sorry, for the way I treated you before this. You didn't deserve any of it. You only deserve happiness and love. And I love you so much" he takes my hand gently, kissing it softly.
"Let's not talk about it anymore.." I smile sadly, interlocking our fingers together. I lean over to turn the bedroom lamp off and then lean to kiss his cheek gently. "Let's just focus on us now, and our baby" I smile shyly, resting my head against his shoulder. He wraps his arm around my naked body and holds me close. For the first time in what feels like forever, I fall into a peaceful sleep.
Comments appreciated as always xx