Your body clock, so used to rising early, roused you just before dawn. Dutch's arms were tightly wrapped around you. You wriggled, and opened your eyes, unaware of your surroundings.
Dutch kissed your collar bone, "go back to sleep," whispered.
"But..." you started.
He chuckled, "no buts, your not going anywhere." his hand brushed your thigh, as he slipped it under the shirt you were wearing, and he rested it gently on your stomach. You trembled, and moaned, pressing your back into his chest, as you felt your heartbeat race. But as the warmth of him radiated your body, you smiled. You had missed this more than you realised.
"I nearly lost you once, I'm not losing you again," he purred.
You closed your eyes, as you felt his hand starting to rub circles on your stomach.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice cracking.
He hushed you, and your kissed neck, "close your eyes, sweetheart."
You did as he asked, without any hesitation. It was still dark, and sleep came easily.
The brightness of the room, woke you. Although you screwed your eyes shut, trying to keep the light at bay. You had slept longer than you had for weeks. Your head hurt, mostly due to the suns rays. If you were honest, you hadn't seen much of the sun, whilst you were in St. Denis. Rising before dawn, and being stuck inside the stables, until almost sunset.
You weren't sure why, but you were surprised to still feel Dutch's warmth next to you.
You were laying on your side, your head resting on his chest, your hand draped across his stomach. His hand was tracing patterns up and down your back.
His other hand gently stroking your cheek.
"You ready to wake up yet," he chuckled.
You groaned, "head hurts."
Dutch hummed, "you're too thin, Blair. We need to get some meat on your bones."
Your brought your hand to your forehead, and groaned. "too much sleep."
Dutch chuckled, "get used to it, you're going to be resting lots, until you're well."
You pulled your hand away, and forced your eyes open, frowning. "I'm not ill!" you retorted.
Dutch Sat up, gently removing your head from his chest, and laying it on the bed.
"You're as weak as a kitten, you haven't been eating enough, your body had started to shut down." he lectured.
You sighed, "I'm just a bit tired, is all," you protested.
Dutch took your hand, "come with me." he urged.
You climbed off the bed, your hand in his. Dutch lead you to the opposite side of the room. He started to unbutton the shirt you were wearing.
"What are you doing?" you asked, trying to stop him.
He hushed you, "just trust me," he whispered.
You let him finish unbutton the shirt. Once he had, he stood behind you. You were standing in front of a mirror. Dutch gently slid the shirt off your shoulders.
"look," he whispered.
You looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn't actually recognised yourself. You were painfully thin. All your bones were sticking out. Your face looked pale. Your short hair, making it look worse.
A tear escaped your eye. "what happened to me?" you sniffled.
Dutch wrapped his arms around you, "don't worry, we're gonna fix it?" he soothed, as he kissed the top of your head.
You sighed, and your shoulders sagged, "I look awful."
Dutch turned you to face him, so your back was to the mirror.
He cupped your cheek in his hand, tilting your head gently upwards. "No, Blair. You're beautiful, you've always been beautiful." He gently pressed his lips to yours in a gentle kiss.
When your lips parted he smiled, and he wrapped his arms around you, pressing your body into his.
You rested your head into his chest, "I missed you so much," you whispered, a tear trickled down your cheek. "I'm sorry...for everything."
Dutch hushed you. "I missed you too," He kissed the top of your head, and wiped the tear away with his thumb. "C'mon, get dressed, then you can have some food and I'll show you around."
You pulled away from Dutch, heading towards the chair, were you're new clothes lay.
Even though the clothes that Hosea had bought for you were in your size. At least the size you were before you left. They still felt loose. You sighed, as you finished getting dressed.
Dutch smiled at you, in an attempt to make you feel better about yourself, but it really didn't work.
His arm wrapped around you, which helped a little more.
As you made your way outside, you glanced back at the large plantation house. It was strange, being in a house in the middle of nowhere. There were still some tents, campfires, and of course, Pearson's wagon. Which is where Dutch was leading you.
Thankfully, Hosea had advised eating little and often. Otherwise you could imagine Dutch expecting you to eat massive meals, just to get some weight back on you.
You still found it hard to believe, you had got so thin. Both Hosea, and Dutch were annoyed to say the least regarding what had happened, whilst you worked at the stables in St. Denis.
More the fact that they thought the stable owner, and the woman who ran the lodgings were taking advantage of the poor workers. A dollar for the food she was providing, was tantamount to robbery. Nor were they impressed with the wages, or the number of hours you were expected to work. They also thought that both the stable owner, and the landlady, were fully aware of the fact that you weren't a boy. But still they thought it ok to work you into the ground.
You didn't argue with them. You didn't really have the energy.
You sat at the table, with Hosea and Dutch eating your stew. You glanced around the camp. Everyone was walking around, doing chores and different things. But you felt like they were avoiding you. You saw no sign of Arthur at all.
You sighed, "why is everyone avoiding me, do I look that awful, actually don't answer that, I know I do."
Hosea chuckled, "its true you don't look well, but I told everyone to leave you alone, so you can get fed, and rested up. Once you've eaten you need to go and have a rest," Hosea insisted.
You scowled, "that's ridiculous, I slept all night and half of the morning nearly!" you argued, stifling a yawn.
Dutch smiled, "I saw that yawn. Don't try and fight it Blair, you've hardly been eating, you've hardly slept. How many times did you miss supper, when you were staying at that god-damn lodging house."
You felt your face flush, "a few times," you mumbled.
Hosea narrowed his eyes, "it was more than a few, wasn't it?"
You ignored him, and quickly changed the subject.
"Where's Arthur. Are you two being civil to one another now?" you questioned, Dutch.
Dutch rolled his eyes, "I'll talk to you about Arthur, in private."
You frowned, "Why? Is Arthur alright?" you asked, slightly worried.
Dutch smiled, "he's fine. But a lot of things happened before we moved. I just want you to be properly rested, first."
You sighed, "I don't suppose I get a choice?"
"No! You don't!" Dutch and Hosea echoed together, chuckling.
You rolled your eyes, and stood up. As you turned to head back into the house, you noticed Dutch was following you.
"I'm quite capable of having a nap, by myself!" you huffed.
Dutch put his hand on your shoulder, "You're also quite capable of throwing yourself in a lake, running off to St. Denis, and almost starving yourself to death!" he exclaimed.
You sighed, "I'm under some sort of house arrest then, am I?"
Dutch gently squeezed your shoulder, "No, but I do intend to look after you, whether you like it or not."
You said nothing, even though you were slightly annoyed. The main reason was because as he guided you up the stairs to the bedroom. You could feel your eyelids growing heavy again.
When you reached the bedroom, you sat on the edge of the bed. You went to pull your boots off, but Dutch stopped you.
"Here, let me." he suggested.
After he'd pulled your boots off, you lay on the bed.
"Did Hosea put something in my food, I'm feeling sleepy." you asked.
Dutch sat on the edge of the bed, and stroked your forehead. "Just a little something, to help you relax,"
You groaned, "Its a conspiracy! You, Hosea, probably Josiah as well."
Dutch smiled, "we're just looking out for you, we care about you."
He kissed you on the forehead, "now close your eyes," he whispered.
You didn't need much telling, as your eyelids were heavy anyway. As you drifted off, you could feel Dutch's hand stroking your face, soothing you off to sleep.
You slept soundly for several hours. When you woke it was still light, you had no idea what time it was. But in reality, it didn't really matter as all you seemed to do at the moment was eat and sleep.
When you opened your eyes, you were surprised to see Dutch and Arthur in the room, talking to one another in hushed voices.
As soon as Dutch saw that you were awake, he came over to the bed.
"We didn't wake you, did we?" he asked, a look of concern on his face,
You shook your head, looking at Dutch, then glancing at Arthur, "what's going on?"
Dutch smiled, "Arthur just needs to have a little chat, with you."
He stood up, and patted Arthur on the shoulder, "go on, son. I'll go and get her some food."
Arthur nodded, and headed towards the bed. He sat down on the edge, smiling at you.
You frowned at him, "Hats going on?" you asked, sitting up.
Arthur gently took your hand, "you don't look so good, whatever happened?" he asked.
"I know, I look terrible," you looked down at the floor, and sighed.
Arthur put his finger under your chin, and gently tilted it upward, "even on a bad day, you look more beautiful, than anyone I've ever seen," he said, smiling.
You felt your face flush, "have you and Dutch stopped hating each other?" you asked.
Arthur nodded, but he frowned at you, "what happened after I left you at the lake, Blair?"
You sighed, "I thought if I wasn't around, that you two would stop fighting over me."
Arthur shook his head, and smiled "this world doesn't deserve you Blair, Your so beautiful, innocent and kind."
Arthur stroked your cheek with the back of his hand, "you have to listen to me now." he whispered.
You looked him in the eye. They were so blue, that's what you first noticed about him.
Arthur chuckled, "the last time you looked at me like that, Blair..." he hesitated, gazing at your face.
"I can see why Dutch has fallen in love with you," he concluded smiling.
You frowned, "he has?"
Arthur nodded, "he may not have said the words to you yet, but he has."
You felt your face heat up, you probably knew it already, the hurt look on his face when you had told him, you wanted to marry someone you loved.
"Do you love him?" Arthur asked.
You shrugged, "I don't know what loving someone feels like, I missed him though."
Arthur smiled, "How would you feel, if you could never see him again, or if he didn't want to be with you anymore?"
"I...I thought you said he loved me," you stuttered, a veil of sadness crossed your face.
Arthur chuckled, "he does, and I think you probably love him too. He has no intention of leaving you, or being with someone else."
You let out a sigh of relief. "What about you, Arthur? Have you fallen in love with me too?" you whispered, not really wanting to hear the answer.
Arthur smiled, "I'm sorry Blair, you're beautiful, but I don't love you like that. I'd take you to my bed in an instant. Your so sweet and innocent, and you have the most gorgeous body, but I love someone else, who sadly doesn't love me."
You blushed, "I'm sorry, that she doesn't love you, but I guess Dutch is happy you don't love me."
"He'd be more happy, if he knew you that you loved him." Arthur smirked.
You didn't have time to respond, as Dutch walked in the door with a plate of food.
You gazed at him, your face was still as red as a beetroot, and the colour didn't really stand any chance of fading. Your heart was beating so hard, you thought it might explode out of chest at any time. You wondered if Arthur was right. You wondered if you had fallen in love with Dutch, without even realising it.