Wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
___
"So you're telling me that I called the owner of the hotel a creep?" Elliott put the car in gear. He backed out of the parking lot slowly turning onto the main road.
"Yep," Brin answered.
"What is wrong with me?"
"Many, many things."
"Ignoring that. Turn on the GPS, will you? I wanna see how far we are from Elmsville."
"Gladly."
In the crevices of her mind, Brin had a hard time finding comfort in her speech. For the time being-- this was fine. This being knowing looks, caring sighs and a budding relationship.
Sure, they'd head back to the same small town but who was to say this would last?
At present it was them and only them, nothing stopping them, nothing to divide them.
Factor in attending post secondary at the end of summer, parents, hobbies morphing into something deeper
and just the confusing chaos of life this wouldn't be so easy going.
"Brin?"
Not a peep.
"Brin? Hello...are you even listening?" Elliott briefly took his eyes off the road.
"Hm...what? You said something?"
"We should be there in a few hours. Maybe under five if we're lucky."
"Great."
"You don't sound great. What's up?"
"I'm just thinking."
"About?" Elliott passed a minivan with way too many kids inside.
"What if when we get back to Clearview everything changes? Like what if the only reason we're together is based on the here and now?"
Elliott sighed, taking her hand for the second time in 24 hours."It won't. I truly like you Brin and nothing is going to change that, alright? I promise."
"But what--"
"Brin. You're safe with me, you always have been. If it makes you feel any better I've wanted this since I saw you at Clearview High. I've made many missteps in my short life but you are not one of them."
"Thank you for saying that."
"I meant it."
After an hour had passed, Elliott pulled into a gas station. He lifted the nozzle pouring gasoline into the vehicle after paying the attendant.
Before his back hit the driver's seat, Brin buzzed with excitement. Her mouth met her squinted eyes, while a hand gripped Elliott's forearm.
"Somebody's excited."
"Uh huh."
"What for? Is it because you saw me?" Elliott asked.
"While you are amazing to look at, no.
I just got an alert on my phone."
"Yeah, what about?" He smiled, hearing the engine turn over. Soon he felt the wind whipping at his hair on the two lane road.
Brin fished her cellphone out from where it had fallen underneath the seat (in her enthusiasm filled outburst) and checked the recent notification.
"No way!"
"What? I can't tell if that's a good 'no way' or a bad 'no way'," Elliott tried to sneak a peek.
"It's a good 'no way'. I can't believe this," Brin replied.
"The suspense is driving me crazy," Elliott said, his free hand drumming on his knee. "What? What is it?"
"You know the other day when we were talking about our favourite authors?"
"Yeah."
"One of the authors who I'm subscribed to just announced they're giving away signed copies of their new novel to those who pre order before the book launch this month!"
"Cool. I've been dying to read another one of Penndragon's novels. Did you know that he hasn't written a book in four years?"
"So I've heard. That must be rough...anyway. It's not Penndragon."
"Welshing?"
"Guess again."
"I give up. Who is it?" Elliott fidgeted in his seat.
"Hern."
"Is that so?"
"Uh huh," Brin nodded reading the email. Her gaze fluttered to her boyfriend's rigid posture. "I was hoping you would go with me."
"To where?"
Elliott's mind was in a fog.
"The book launch. That is if you want to."
"I'm busy that day."
"With what?"
"Various odds and ends."
"Anything I can help with?"
"No, I don't think so," he waved her off. "You'd just be a distraction."
"A distraction?" Brin repeated the statement, being knocked down from cloud nine. "I'm a distraction?"
"That's not what I meant," Elliott groaned. The words exited his mouth quickly than he thought possible and now he wished he could suck them up like a vacuum.
"Then enlighten me."
"It's complicated."
"Don't do that. It's not complicated. That's just what people say when they don't want to face something."
"Don't try to analyze the situation Brin. I said I'm busy. Now leave it at that."
"Why are you shutting down all of a sudden?"
"I'm not."
"You are," she shook her head.
"And you know what the funny thing is you're always asking me if I trust you but maybe I should be the one asking you. Must be an ego thing."
"Henderson."
Brin plugged in her headphones, exhausting the maximum volume on her phone.
She removed them when the car stalled and Elliott muttered a slew of curse words.
Smoke arose from the red trunk and the two bolted from the vehicle.
"You okay?" Elliott coughed, clutching the keys.
"Fine."
Normally Brin's answer would be followed up with a secondary question of the caring variety.
This didn't go unnoticed by Elliott who was met with dismissal.
"We better call a tow truck," he said to the one person in particular.
He waited for her to say something and waited and waited.
Scouring the truck Elliott retrieved his license, insurance and a weathered card he'd stashed for emergencies.
He pressed numbers into his phone bringing it to his ear.
"Hi...yeah. I'm going to need a tow truck. I'm off of Highway 12 at Midlan."
He hung up the phone pleased with the response.
"They said they should be here in ten minutes."
Ten minutes ticked by turning to twenty.
A pudgy man with a white shirt drenched in oil, hopped out the tow truck with a small rag on his shoulder.
"I'm Tim. What can I do for you?"
"Our car has broken down and we need it fixed as soon as possible. We're kind of on a deadline," Elliott informed Tim.
"What are we looking at here?" He strutted towards the smoking vehicle.
"See for yourself."
"Uh huh. Uh huh," he put down the hood with a thud. "Just as I suspected. You're going to need a new engine."
"How much?"
"$700," Tim said.
"I don't have that kind of cash," Elliott sighed, holding his forehead. "What am I going to do?"
"Elliott we'll figure something out," came Brin's voice. She stood behind him, unsure of what she should do.
"So now you're talking to me?"
"Elliott I--"
"This is your fault."
Elliott's tone laced with venom, lashed out at her. Without a second to spare, he was in front of Brin halting all movement.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard what I said. I didn't stutter Brin."
"I know you're upset right now but it is not fair to take it out on me. What about all those detours, huh? Remember those?"
"If you hadn't taken up the book, none of this would've ever happened. I would be home, not here, not having my car end up in the junkyard."
"Are you serious, right now? You regret this whole thing?" Brin didn't recognize her own voice. It was shaky, unsure of itself, and it hurt.
"This was a mistake."
Her mind traveled back to the first argument she'd experienced in the vehicle. She hadn't been on the receiving end but she felt everything the same way she did in this very moment.
Wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it Brin.
"I can't believe I actually fell for this, for your entire charade," she harshly smeared a tear that began falling. "How could I be so stupid?"
"That makes two of us."
"You know what?" she scoffed. "You won't have to worry about me anymore. I'm done. Go find your stupid book. I quit."
"I will. Maybe if you actually had the guts to publish something instead of being so freaking scared all the time people would actually give a damn about your work!"
Crackling radiated throughout the air when Brin removed her stinging palm from Elliott's jaw. It didn't feel like her own.
"Oh my God! I didn't mean--"
"Yes you did. In case you weren't aware Brin," Elliott's hand cupped his face. "Do you want to know why you enjoyed my aunt's book so much?"
"Why?"
"I'm surprised you didn't figure it out you being such a big Hern fan."
No.
"No no no. You're not saying what I think you're saying," she pleaded with her entire being.
"My Aunt is Cassidy Hern aka your favourite author, and you lost her newest book."