I am in front of the phone. I shouldn't be here. I wasn't here a second ago. I look around me and see no one. Not a nurse. Nor a patient. No sound. No smell. Not normal.
Where was I before? I think I was eating. Pasta. Without sauce. It's taste tainted by the meds I had swallowed before.
There are not buttons on the phone. No tonality. Only the nurse can transfer a call from outside. Between 2 and 6 p.m. What time is it? And why am I here? I realize the lights are dim. As if it was past bed time. But still. The nurses should be in their office. I should hear some TVs.
I start walking toward my room. I feel like I haven't slept yet. « No you haven't! » I say to myself. « You were eating. »
Where did the time go?
I am still wearing my clothes but am bare feet. Why? Suddenly, the phone rings. I turn toward it, the sound of my blood pulsing in my eardrums. It's an old school ringing. It's shrilling and irritating. I look around. Still nobody. It shouldn't be ringing. Nobody can call on that particular phone.
Are the nurses making fun of me or what?
One step after the other, I walk toward it. I want the ringing to stop. But if I pick up that phone, I know something bad will happen. I know it in my bones. My guts tells me I shouldn't do that. « But if I don't, it won't stop ringing! » I plead to myself.
I pick it up. But I don't put it to my ear yet. The sensation in my hand feels wrong. It's too cold, too heavy! It feels sticky almost. And alive. I don't know why but it feels fucking alive. Like it knows who I am. And that I picked it up.
« Come on girl, » I say out loud. « It's just an object. »
But deep down it feels like it's not true.
There is a breathing on the line. I can hear it from afar. A rasp, deep and animalistic breathing. Waiting.
I can't. I let go of the thing and get back. But when I start walking towards my room again, the ringing. It restarts. Even though the phone is hanging on its cord.
« A bug » says my reason. « They wan't you » screams my madness.
A flash of anger rushes through me. They want me? They gonna get it. Infuriated, I pick up and put the cold black thing against my skin, shivering.
« DON'T GO! »
A savage, desperate, tortured scream. A howling full of pain and fear. A voice that cracks painfully. My own voice.