Compromise
My thumb rolled down on the flint, a flame igniting from the wick. I watched the blue fire that gradually became a bright orange, huffing when it disappeared a moment later. Shaking up the lighter, I pressed on the thumbwheel once more, quickly setting the brilliant red to the rod. The tar and paper began to burn instantly, and the filter was put between my lips, the light color on their surface leaving an imprint on it.
With a deep inhale, the smoke filled in my lugs. I held it in for a minute, slowly exhaling in a blurry fog through my parted mouth. I could feel my eyes burning, tears forming from the sting of the fumes, but I made sure to blink them away before my vision could be completely covered.
I unzipped my purse, throwing in the lighter and pulling out my phone, clicking it open.
Where are you?
The cigarette held between my fingers was pulled away after another drag, and I slid my touch across the screen, lazily replying to the brief text.
Will you pick me up?
A simple ‘I’m on my way’ was the reply I received, and I let the phone drop back in my purse, holding back the cough that was scratching at my throat. I let the butt hang from my lips, a hand running through my hair.
It was Thursday, 3:45 PM, and there I stood, in the only bus station in Hartford, under a run-down waiting area with holes in the roof that did nothing to shield the sun from burning my skin. The memory of my calculus exam lingered in the back of my mind, and I scoffed while recalling not understanding most of the material on it. The former brightest student in Hartford High was now barely pushing through, and with only one day left of school, I couldn’t have been happier to finally be done for good.
My knee bobbed up and down, and I tried to cross my legs to halter the nervous habit, to no avail. I brushed my hair away from my neck, feeling along my collarbones and removing the perspiration on my skin with the collar of my shirt.
My hand acted as a fan while I took a longer drag from the smoke, my lips clamping shut while I forced myself to accept the disgusting taste and not heave it all out. I rested my forehead against the palm of my hand, looking down the street in hope of spotting the familiar car that belonged to Harry. I could only dream of air conditioning and a nice, cold shower as it felt so far from reality.
My eyebrows rose at the sight of a red car, driving down the road with a speed accelerating the limit. It came to a halt before me, and my awestruck expression stood still, not changing while the tinted window rolled down.
My lips curled around the filter, and I lowered the sunglasses that stood perched on my nose.
“Hop in, darling.”
Amusement fell from my face, and my features hardened at the site of an aged person looking beyond their years. His dirty-blond hair had become lighter as summer had neared, just like it always did, and the blue in his eyes was prominent against the tan surface of his skin. I saw his fingers curl around the rolled-down window, orbs persistent.
“No.” I sighed, my legs uncrossing while I stood up. Just as I began to walk away, I heard the car door open, footsteps trailing from behind me in a hurried pace. I was about to pick up speed, only to pause when a hand softly captured mine. I jerked away, spinning around. “If you want to keep that arm attached to your body, don’t you ever fucking touch me again.”
His hands rose in defense, eyes wide while a smirk played at his lips. “My apologies, sweetheart. I just want to speak to you.”
“We all want things we can’t have.”
I heard a sigh escape from him. “Avery, just let me talk to you for a few minutes. That’s all I need.” I stared up at him, and the cigarette at my side was lifted up to my mouth again. I took in a deep inhale. “I see you’re smoking again…”
Letting it fall from my fingers, I pressed the toe of my sneaker on the cylinder. The hot smoke was blown into his face, and he closed his eyes, lightly shaking his head. “I don’t have a few minutes. Sorry.”
“Avery—”
“Fuck off, Anthony.” With a roll of my eyes, I turned on my heels, trying but failing to walk away once more.
“I’m not going to ask nicely again. Get in the car.” The tone of his voice made me stop mid-step, and my tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth to stop myself from snapping something in return.
I inspected him shortly. He wore a pair of overly cleaned jeans and a black shirt, a leather jacket hanging from his shoulders. “You have 10 minutes before Harry comes.”
He shrugged, although his eyes snapped around for a brief moment before leading me back to the red vehicle. I pried open the passenger door, stepping inside and twisting my body so I was facing him. Almost immediately, the all-too-familiar scent of the feminine perfume that always stuck to Sarah’s skin hit my nose, and I scrunched up my face, hating the presence of her without her actually being there.
He closed the door after himself, rolling the window back up. His hands rested on the steering wheel, lightly tapping. My arms were tight against my chest. “Nine minutes.”
His eyes narrowed, and I watched him struggle to speak for a few seconds before finally being able to form the right words. “You promised to stay away from him.”
I looked off to the side, already knowing that the entire conversation would turn out to be ridiculous. “I was tied to a bed, and you wouldn’t have let me go unless I agreed to whatever you said. Obviously, I lied.”
“Fair enough.” His fingers captured his bottom lip, and he slightly dragged it out before his vision snapped to mine. “Do you love him?”
My eyebrow rose again. “Why do you care?”
“Because it’ll explain why you’re around him when you know that he’s not a good person and that he’ll hurt you.”
A scoff left my lips. “Harry has never hurt me.”
Without warning, he suddenly grabbed onto both of my hands, holding them out before my eyes. “What the fuck do you call this, then?”
I felt my skin burn where he touched me, and I quickly yanked myself away from his hold, gaze harsh. “I did that to myself. He had nothing to do with it.”
“You hurt yourself because you were trying to escape from him. It is his fault.” I didn’t bother to ask how he knew that I had tried to run away from Harry twice during our New York trip, but I was up to the point where nothing could ever surprise me any longer.
I didn’t reply, and he took the silence as his opportunity to continue. He reached over, brushing my hair back from my forehead. “This scar right here,” he tapped my temple where a light-pink gash had healed over rather crudely; “it wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for him.”
“Jeffrey shoved me against a tree. If anyone is to blame for that, it’s him, not Harry.” I was quick to be defensive, not liking the tone of his voice or the way his words came out.
“You don’t get it, do you? None of it would have happened if it weren’t for him. If you would have just listened to Sarah when she told you to stay away from Harry, none of it would have happened.”
“At least he hasn’t tried to kill me.” I felt my nails digging into the skin of my forearms.
“The only thing I ever wanted to do was scare you off. At first, I did want to kill you for being so damn stupid, but I soon realized that I cared too much for you to lose you forever.”
My face fell as his voice lowered, his fingers falling from my hair and letting it lay back in place. “This isn’t the time for you to make heart-felt confessions. You became dead to me the second you chose to continue living the lifestyle you do. We are done, and you need to stay out of mine and Harry’s life. I have done nothing to you.”
His sudden burst of laughter stifled me. “Oh, darling, I know we’re done. I don’t want to be with you, but I want you to be safe. You’re not safe with Harry. Believe it or not, he’s part of the same business I work for, and you are fucking delusional if you think we’re different from one another. He’s no better than me, but I, at least, have the decency to tell you the truth; Harry will get you killed. Stay away from him.”
It was my turn to laugh, my hand slapping to my thigh. “You really think that I’ll waste a minute of my time believing a word that comes out of your mouth? Harry isbetter than you. He has never hurt me, and he never will. And he doesn’t blackmail me with bygones of the past.”
Anthony’s head fell to the side, and I could make out a smile beginning to form on his lips. “You mean the pictures? That wasn’t me blackmailing you, darling. That was just part of the compromise that I’m going to make you today.”
“What compromise?” I questioned, feeling my interest peak.
He sighed, leaning back against the seat of the car. “I told you that if you stayed away from Harry, I would leave you and him both alone to live your lives in peace. You obviously broke your promise, so I have another offer for you before I make up my mind about what the hell I’m going to do about Styles.”
My eyes were slightly wide, and I felt a thick lump in my throat, hard to swallow while my vision shifted back and forth between his orbs. “What do you want: Money? Drugs?”
A light chuckle escaped his lips. “Oh no, darling. Since you can’t seem to stay away from him, no matter the cost, I obviously don’t want to break your heart by killing him off. Therefore, answer me this one question: Are you going to Prom tomorrow night?”
I knew in my every bone what his next proposition would be, and with pursed lips, I slowly shook my head. “I’m not.”
“Well, now you are.”
“And if I say no?” I questioned. He simply smiled, and I knew the answer before he had to speak it. “Fine. I’ll be there.”
“You look kind of pale. You okay?” Harry’s voice was careful as he glanced at me every few seconds. I couldn’t remember if I had blinked at all in the past minute, staring out the windshield, unmoving.
“I think I failed my exams.” I covered my true worries rather quickly, and Harry raised his eyebrows at me.
“You’re smart. You didn’t fail, trust me.”
I couldn’t help my giggle. “How would you know? You weren’t even there today!”
He shrugged. “I have an extra sense, you know?”
I shoved his shoulder, seeming to finally come back around, my bones unfreezing and slightly relaxing. For the first time, I noticed that the car I sat in was different from the one that Harry usually drove. It was an older model, and I could have sworn to have seen it before, although I could not recall ever being inside it.
I tried to think back, and I let out a gasp when realization hit me. “This is the car you were trying to fix, isn’t it? The one from the junkyard?”
The grin that took over his face was one that I had named rare, dimples showing and fully reaching his eyes. He looked like a little kid who’d just gotten a new toy. “I thought you didn’t notice. I finally got this baby running this morning. I’ve been working on it all day. It’s not perfect just yet, but I don’t think it’ll stop in the middle of the road or anything.” He winked, showing that he was only teasing.
My jaw dropped, and I let out a laugh, reaching over to feel against the little crooks of it and the leather of the conjoined seat. I tried to push back the nagging voice in the back of my head that was scolding me for being completely oblivious to my surroundings when I had first stepped inside. I didn’t want to believe that I was starting to go a little crazy.
That’s what happens when you hold in all your secrets, my subconscious hissed.
Harry lightly patted the place next to him, and I quickly undid my seatbelt, sliding over and wrapping my arms tightly around his torso. He left one hand on the wheel, the other falling over my shoulder. I felt his fingers scratching against my arm, and I had the sudden urge to be even closer to him, although it wasn’t nearly possible.
“Love, you’re squeezing me to death.” He smiled down at me for a second, glancing back at the road.
I ignored his grumble, only holding him tighter. My head rested on his shoulder. “I have to tell you something,” I whispered.
“My first.” He cut me off, turning the wheel as we were pulled into a different road.
My eyes closed, and the courage I had built to tell him about my plans for tomorrow night completely vanished. “Mhm,” I hummed.
“You know that I’m not a citizen here, right?” I nodded against his neck. “Well, I had to send all these papers in so that I could be granted legal rights to reside here, and…” I leaned back to look at him, and his face had suddenly fallen, serious while his lips pursed to the side, “they declined. But they extended my visa until October. After that, I have to head back for a few months.”
My lips slightly parted, my eyebrows pulling in. “Are you… Are you serious?”
I had never given much thought to how Harry had been able to come to America. In a way, I figured that he was as legal here as I was, and it never crossed my mind that he’d ever have to go back to Britain.
He shook his head. “Babe, don’t even worry about it. We have half a year ‘till then.”
I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that there was suddenly a large countdown tattooed onto Harry’s forehead, and that every time I would look at him, the only thing I’d be able to see would be the seconds quickly decreasing.
“Just… don’t think much about it. Six months is a long time from now, and even after I go back home, I’ll be back before you know it. You can come visit!” He gave me a soft smile while I stood in utter bewilderment.
I watched his eyes roll, and he reached over, pinching my lips between his fingers. “Don’t make that face.”
“This is ridiculous.” I spoke in a muffle, swatting at his hand. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”
He sighed, a hand passing through his hair. “Uh— marriage and kids; I have neither. And anyway, those processes can take years.”
“Shit, babe.” I blew out a deep breath.
“It’s going to be okay,” he reassured me, and I scoffed at his cliché words. He shoved me away with a laugh.
I resumed my position into his side, my finger tracing imaginary patterns into his leg. It was then that I noticed we had taken a different turn than the one that lead to Harry’s house. “Aren’t we going to your place?”
“It’s yours too, Ave…” His tone almost sounded offended. I didn’t reply, pressing my lips to the crook of his neck. “I have to drop something off at the place I work. I’ll just be in and out, and we can go home after.”
I nodded, feeling my curiosity spark. “Where do you work?”
“Just a small business.”
“Oh.” I moved back across the conjoined seat, not bothering with the seatbelt when I felt the car slow down and enter through a smaller road. We drove down the rocky gravel for a few minutes before Harry pulled next to the sidewalk by a large building, looking abandoned from the outside.
It was located in the center of an old block, small stores on either side with a few people moving around. Harry shut off the engine, reaching around the back seat to grab a paper bag before pressing a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll be out in a few minutes. Don’t wander off, okay?”
I nodded with wide eyes. “Yes, sir.”
He chuckled while shaking his head, stepping out and slamming the car door shut. I watched him step over the sidewalk, towards the building where he punched a code into a screen next to the handle. He stepped inside, shutting the door tightly behind.
My lids narrowed, but I sighed before pulling my knees to my chest. The sun was reflecting off the windows, hitting my skin and making me want to jump into the nearest cold water source available.
After ten minutes passed and Harry still hadn’t returned, I pulled my phone out and scrolled through the notifications, deleting one after the other. I blew out a raspberry, pulling my hair back and playing with different braids until the curls got too messy to untangle. A groan escaped my lips, and I was soon lying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling of the car.
After doing that for a few minutes and thinking I was about to lose my mind, I tried the radio which surprisingly worked. Some 70’s station was playing, but there was only so much singing along to Deep Purple I could do before my voice turned scratchy and my throat was dry. I looked inside the empty compartment of the car while switching to different stations, finally settling on one playing classical music.
And so there I sat, sweat on my eyelids and below my bra, face screwed up at the violins in the background.
I felt like crying from boredom, but instead tried to focus on what I was going to wear to Prom tomorrow.
Although I felt an utmost guilt at the idea of going to Prom with Anthony of all people, I knew that I still had time to tell Harry. He wouldn’t take it great, not at all. But I didn’t have a choice. Once again, if I didn’t do what Anthony had told me to, Harry would get hurt, and I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to him. Anyway, it was only a few hours, and then it would be done. Anthony would leave us alone, just as he promised. That was his compromise, and I had agreed to it.
I tossed around the thought of going in my jeans and a nice shirt, but decided that the last thing I needed was to be the victim of the night as everyone I knew would laugh at me. That didn’t entirely sound as bad as attending the dance with whom I was going with.
Dances were never my thing, considering how lovely the last school dance had gone. Not only had I found out that Jeffrey was dead, but Harry had also arrived with the great news that he knew who had been terrorizing me for the last few months; fucking Anthony.
I knew that if I sucked it up and simply showed up, I could most likely avoid him for most of the night and then be home in a blink. Sarah was away to God-knows-where, and Matt wouldn’t be going seeing as he didn’t have a date. I would be in the clear, and the only thing left to do would be to gently break the news to Harry.
He’d probably throw a few things and try to warn me not to go, and I’d apologize, and then he’d get over it. It would all be okay.
I started searching through my phone for dress ideas, finding a few pretty ones in stores nearby. Placing a bookmark on the page, I looked at the time on the console. 30 minutes late.
I let out a huff and finally decided to step out of the heated car and into the fresh air instead. There wasn’t a significant difference in temperature, but the occasional wind helped to cool me down the slightest.
I leaned against the side of the car, arms snug into my chest while I glanced towards the building, my foot tapping on the dirty ground.
“Hey!” a voice called, and I almost jumped out of my skin, spinning my head around to look back forward.
As if my day was filled with people whom I wanted to avoid, I forced a smile and wave at the sight of Chase, watching as he skipped towards me, kicking a rock and come to a halt before the car. “Hi, Chase.”
“Hey, Connell. What the hell are you doing here?” He smiled, pressing a hand to his forehead in a shield.
“Uh— Harry had to drop something off. I’m just waiting for him to come out.” I watched the light bounce off his blond hair and the way his brown eyes looked almost golden in the sun.
His face fell, and a look of fright took over his features. “Wait… He’s in there, — right now?”
“Mhm,” I spoke, confused at his worried expression. Fuck, he was so damn pretty.
“Shit, shit, shit. I’m supposed to be in there. Fuck! He’s so gonna kick my ass. Fuck.” A hand pulled at his locks while his orbs widened and he slightly jumped on his feet, most likely trying to come up with a plan of sorts.
“Why would he be mad?” I questioned, leaning away from the car so that I stood closer to him, my eyes squinting. “Aren’t you guy’s coworkers or something?”
“Hell no.” He was quick to respond. “He’s my fucking boss. If he knows I came late to work again… Shit.”
“Hey!” I waved a hand over his face, trying to calm down his nervous ranting. “Isn’t there a back door? Just sneak in and pretend you were there the entire time.”
He glanced down at me, lips pursed while his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans. “Good idea, Connell. Say, you aren’t half stupid.”
My lips parted. “Last semester I had a 5.0 GPA.”
He pulled a face, like he knew I was lying for a fact. “There’s no such thing as a 5.0… is there?”
I nodded. “Sure is. If you have all AP classes, it’s very much possible.”
He blew out a whistle, letting out a small laugh. “Damn. I graduated high school with a 3.4 thinking I was all smart and shit. You’re real badass, Connell.”
I brushed back my grown bangs, shrugging. “Don’t mention it.”
I waited for him to run around the back in his hurry, but he appeared less worried and calm, instead moving over to stand next to me. I leaned my side against the door, watching as he did the same.
“I’m already late. Might as well be really late.” He shrugged with a smile. I giggled, shaking my head. “You know, you’re different.”
His statement took me aback, and my eyebrow rose. “Oh?”
“From the other girls that Harry’s been with before, I mean.”
“Oh.” My face dropped into a grimace.
“Not in a bad way, I promise!” He raised his arms. “You’re better. You make him… happy. And trust me, seeing that kid smile is like a breath of fresh air. It doesn’t happen too often.”
The side of my mouth twisted upwards, and I licked my lips, looking away from him. “How… How many were there before me?”
I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to hear the answer, but knew that it would give me closure, strangely enough. It was a question nagging at the back of my mind for a longer time than I wanted to admit.
Chase’s lips thinned. “If I remember correctly, not too many, actually. Yeah, there were a few hook-ups with some girls at random bars, but actual girlfriends? I can recall two.”
My attention was suddenly on point, and I leaned slightly closer to him, marking all his words in a mental notebook. “How long was he with them?”
“Well the first one was before we all came to America. We had a job in Romania for some weeks, and the woman there are very frumos— that means beautiful, by the way. Amazing bodies, and don’t even get me started on the accents. I thought Harry’s accent was hot, but…”
I let out a giggle, but kept my mouth shut, not wanting to interrupt his story.
“Her name was Andreea with two e’s. Fuck, that girl was hot. Harry had just turned eighteen, and I was 22. Kind of funny how my boss is younger than me, huh? Anyway, we had to deliver… something to her, and it was like the second Harry’s eyes landed on Andreea, he was fucked over. Completely in love. If you ask him now, he denies ever even having a girl before you, but we all know.
“She tagged along with us for a while. He spoiled her so much. But in no time, reality kind of caught up with her, and the next morning she was gone. Harry didn’t even react to it, but you could tell he was hurt. He really liked that girl.”
“Wow,” I mouthed, and punched down the slithering jealousy that crawled up my body. I had no reason to be jealous. Andreea was gone. “What about the second one?” I coughed, pulling my hair away from the skin of my neck.
Chase sighed, in deep thought for a moment before holding a finger up. “Alright, I remember now. The second one was when we got to New York. I don’t really know how they met or if they had anything emotional going on. All I know is that she played Harry’s fuck-buddy for a long time. I think her name was Lindsay or something. Once he started school, he just kind of dropped her, and Lindsay was never heard of again. Can’t say I was sad. She had the most obnoxious moans.”
I cringed, my eyes squeezing shut. “Alright— no more, please.”
I felt him pat my shoulder sympathetically, although I could tell he was trying to hold back laughter. “Anyway, Connell, I should probably go in, but… it was nice to see you again, honestly.”
My gaze shifted up to him, taking in his large figure. “I don’t want to hold you back any longer, but could you please tell me what the hell this ‘business’ is?”
He shrugged, taking a step back. “Sorry, princess. That’s up to Harry. He’s the one that runs everything. And oh! How are the things holding up?”
It took me a second to understand what things were, and my mouth parted in realization. “The things are stuffed inside my boot, which is hidden in a shoe box, which is hidden in a dark corner of the closet. I think I’m just gonna toss the thingsdown the toilet now that you reminded me of them.”
“Don’t do that, Connell. People pay thousands for that shit, and you got it for free. Make good use of it, okay? It makes sex feel amazing.”
With that, he turned around on his heels and jogged to the building, not bothering to take the back entrance as he punched in the code before stepping inside. I bit my lip, looking down at my phone. 50 minutes late.
“What the hell?” I hissed under my breath. I opened the car door and leaned inside, grabbing the keys from the engine and pulling them out before locking the car. I put the keys and phone inside my bag, skipping over to the sidewalk. My steps halted outside the door, and I crouched down on the ground, trying to look through the small hole in the knob, I closed one eye, but all I got was black nothingness.
A few things seemed to happen at once, and I was suddenly heading face-first for the ground inside the building, the door having been ajar and sliding wide open. I quickly moved so that I would land on my side, groaning at the pain that brushed against my ribs. “Shit.”
I quickly stood up, cursing myself for being so loud, and slowly pushed the door completely shut, meanwhile keeping a hand to under my rib-cage, already feeling a bruise about to form. I brushed down the back of my jeans, finally looking up straight ahead. There was a long corridor with a few doors at either side, a larger one being at the very end of the hallway. That one was slightly cracked too, and I could see a beam of light shining from it.
Quietly, I walked towards the large portal, feeling hesitant while my hand rested on the frame. I gradually pushed it open, peeking inside. At first, all I could see were moving shadows and hushed chatter, and I figured it was safe enough to open the door just a little more.
What I saw wasn’t exactly anything I had ever expected. There were numerous stations set up, each one holding a table and bulky guys standing over it, wearing clothes that looked like they were smudged with paint and goggles, silver tongs and thin knives held in their hands. Before them stood numerous bowls and plates, each holding different substances with different textures and colors. They carefully stirred them, reaching over with gloved fingers to brush the powders. Off to the side stood pots of odd-looking plants, and I spotted someone spraying them with some liquid that I could only hope was water.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t any of that that caused me to gasp in absolute horror; it was the girls that surrounded the men, hardly in any clothes and touching their shoulders as sly giggles escaped from their lips. This was where Harry worked?
I finally stepped all the way inside, but I seemed to go unnoticed as a fairly substantial shelf stocked with folders and documents stood right before me, hiding much of my body from view.
And I finally spotted Harry, standing off to the corner, not looking at all phased by the scenery as he silently talked to the man before him, eyes narrowed while he rubbed his chin. I could only make out a few of the things he was saying, one of them being “I don’t care”.
I then realized how much time I spent looking at Harry’s lips and the way he formed words. They looked different on him due to his accent, but his mouth moved softly, never harsh.
Just then, he smacked his hand down against the desk next to him, and everyone stilled, glancing up to stare in his direction. “I gave you time, Mike! I gave you a lot of fucking time. I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses, mate! Either give me the money, or you don’t get out of this place with a fucking neck.”
The tone in his voice was one that I had never heard, ever. It wasn’t his voice. It didn’t sound at all like Harry, but strangely, it was him saying the words.
“I don’t have the fucking money, Styles! I already gave you all that I had. If you want to kill me, then fucking do it! WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE?”
‘Mike’ was shoved against the wall behind him, Harry’s hand clutching around his neck, fingers squeezing tightly as I spotted the vein in his forehead pop, his teeth clenched back.
“I didn’t want to have to do this, Mikey, but you’re a fucking pussy. You’re a cheat, and you’re far from being a man. A real man keeps his fucking word,” I heard him whisper, his face inching closer to the Mike’s. I saw a few feet begin to step Harry’s way, only to stop and return back to their station.
Harry’s hand shifted to the top of the guy’s head while his other moved up to his chin, and I spotted a hint of a smile playing at his lips. “You deserve to die, you fucking low-life. It’s my fault I wasted my time on you.”
Mike closed his eyes, and by now the tears falling from his eyes were enough to cover his cheeks. Harry took a single step back, his arms extending, and before he could do it, before he could snap the guy’s neck, I let the word out before I even realized I had, and the quiet was enough to hear a pin drop.
“STOP!”
His eyes snapped up so quickly it could have given him a whiplash, and the look on his face was as strange as everything else surrounding me. He no longer looked like himself, and I could have sworn that he was seconds away from exploding from how red his skin appeared.
My ears couldn’t catch the words that he silently mouthed to me, almost like I had gone deaf and there was a pitched frequency in my eardrums. While my shock started to wear off, I winced at the scream of his voice.
“GET OUT.”
The growl in his tone was enough to stun me, still me in place. For a moment, I considered doing what I was told for once in my life, but I simply couldn’t. I couldn’t let Harry kill someone over money. I couldn’t let Harry do something stupid, because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to forgive him. Most importantly, I couldn’t let him do it, because if he did, then he really would be no better than Anthony.
“Don’t you dare hurt him,” I hissed through clenched teeth, and I heard the intake of breath rush throughout our audience.
I saw Harry’s eyes widen at me like I had said the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard before they glanced at Mike, who was now slowly starting to turn into a bluish color. I watched his chest contract while he took in a deep breath, his fingers loosening around the guy’s neck just slightly.
“Chase,” Harry called without looking over his shoulder, where Chase stood with a shocked expression by the back corridor. He didn’t speak another word, but Chase seemed to understand exactly what Harry meant, and his eyes met mine, sending a silent apology before he began to walk my way.
My lids widened when he tightly grabbed onto my arm, beginning to tug me away with a punitive force. I dug my heels into the floor, trying my best to refrain from moving, but he had more strength on me by a long run.
“I’ll never fucking forgive you,” I yelled towards Harry’s direction, knowing what would happen the second I was out of sight and not being able to bear the thought of it.
Too many people were gone. Too many people had left. I didn’t have a fucking clue who ‘Mike’ was or why he couldn’t pay Harry back, but he was still a human being that would be six feet under in a few hours if I didn’t put a stop to it.
Chase halted as my words seemed to catch Harry’s attention, and it gave me enough leverage to withdraw from the grasp against me. I took a few steps forward, and Harry took in a deep inhale, his eyes closing while his nostrils flared. He motioned with his head from Chase to Mike who was now gasping and wheezing for any remaining ounce of breath. Chase stepped forward, taking Harry’s place while Harry walked up to me with quick steps, his face set in a hard expression.
I matched his narrowed eyes and flushed face, feeling rage towards him. Once he was inches away from me, he raised his arm, pointing to the door. “Fucking leave, Avery. Right now.”
“No.” I shook my head.
“FUCKING LEAVE, AVERY.” He screamed, veins visible in his neck and eyes black.
“DON’T YELL AT ME, YOU PRICK!” I screamed back, hands balled into fists while the hair on the back of my neck stood fully alert.
His face fell, and for a sheer moment there was a diversion in his eyes, only to be replaced by anger that I had only seen so little times in the past. The line was crossed, and a few steps were taken even further away from it.
His head moved to the side, and his tongue lightly skimmed the corner of his mouth.
All too suddenly, I was thrown over his shoulder, and I shrieked while he quickly walked out of the room and into the corridor, my hands slapping against his back and fists curling around his shirt, my nails digging into his skin. “Let me down!”
He didn’t even flinch at the pain that was imposed upon him, continuing his path down the hallway and out through the front door of the building. He rather irritably set me down, my hair flying over my shoulders and my purse falling on the ground.
I watched him with a gaping mouth for a split second before my hand rose to smack across his cheek. The side of his face stood facing me, his eyes closing while he lightly touched his fingers to his skin.
I was immediately overcome with a sense of guilt, but couldn’t deny how much he had deserved it for what he had done.
Harry looked at me before his hands reached for my hips, shoving me back against the car, his body pinning me to it. I gasped, gazing up at him while he glared with a madness I had never seen in him. “You think you can fucking come into my work and yell at me in front of my men, slap me, and insult me and get away with it, don’t you? Well, that’s where you’re fucking wrong. If you’re going to act like a fucking bitch, then you’re going to get treated like one.”
He shoved me harder into the car, and I felt the pressure of his weight on my side, where I had landed earlier. I let out a whimper, face scrunching up. “Let go of me. You’re hurting me,” I breathed out.
I tried to reach upwards with my arms to push him away, but he was too quick, catching my wrists and pinning them up over my head. It seemed as if the few people who were out earlier had disappeared, and I cussed my life under my breath.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Harry grabbed onto my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Huh?!”
“You’re a fucking asshole,” I spit out, teeth gritted back into a scowl.
“And you’re a fucking cunt, so I guess we’re even.” He glared, and I felt bewilderment rush through my body at his words. Harry had never insulted me, ever, and strangely, it hurt to hear his words more than the physical pain of being pinned to the car.
“Take me home,” I finally said, looking down at the ground instead of at him.
He seemed to have had enough; too, as he didn’t argue, instead just leaving me to hand him the keys and walk back to the passenger door, my face expressionless. I shut the frame while he stepped inside the driver’s seat, my hand running through my hair and pulling at the ends.
We drove inside the hot car in complete silence, and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest harshly, shaking my whole body with every beat. As we began to cross a familiar street, I forced myself to speak, despite the fact that my throat felt tight. “Stop at my house. I need to grab something.”
He didn’t ask any questions or comment, much to my relief, simply slowing down as we neared it and pulling into the driveway with ease. I immediately stepped out, the air inside the car too tense to freely breathe, and walked towards the house. I reached into the soil of the plant on the porch, finding the spare key and using it to unlock the door.
I stepped inside, slightly hesitant, calling out Matt’s name but receiving no reply in return. With a clean target in mind, I jogged up the stairs of the foyer and down the hallway, to the door of my old bedroom which now stood mostly bare of everything but the furniture that held nothing on them. No, I hadn’t taken every possession of mine to Harry’s. There still stood some small things of no value or that hadn’t fit in my bags. I didn’t linger too long to stare at the bedroom, knowing that I would get emotional at the site of it.
Instead, I hurriedly stepped toward the bathroom at the corner, switching on the light and pulling open the cabinets under the sink. I reached my arm inside, feeling around for the tissue box at the corner. Once I touched it, I pulled it out, resting it on the counter and removing the few scraps of tissue that were only there as a cover-up. With the box in hand, I turned around and flipped off the light, stepping back inside my room.
My feet froze, holding me in place. Harry stood leaning against the door of my room, arms folded into his chest. “What’s in the box?”
I didn’t find a reason to cover to truth, finding it easier to just tell him my thoughts. “Money. A lot of it.”
His eyebrows rose. “Why?”
My forehead wrinkled. “Because I’m moving out and getting my own place.” He didn’t have time to respond, and my body moved past him and back out into the hallway. I tried to ignore the look of complete horror on his face or the way his eyes had softened at my words.
“Avery…” he gently called after me, but I didn’t listen. I knew that I had to get away from him.
All that I thought I had known about Harry— all that I had made peace with— was ruined. I no longer knew who he was or what his intentions were. Who the hell was he? A fucking drug lord? Yes, I had known that what he did wasn’t necessary legal, but I had never known the depth of it. Chase said that Harry was his boss. Did that mean that Harry owned whatever business they were part of? Was he the leader?
I felt like I was seconds away from caving over and throwing up, my stomach a mess from everything I had witnessed. Who the hell was I dating; a British run away or a criminal?
My head was spinning as I reached the front door, stuffing the box securely inside the bag that hung from my shoulder. I pulled on the handle, and just as the portal creaked open, it was quickly shut by Harry’s hand slamming against it.
I stared up at him with wide eyes, and he looked back with an emotion I couldn’t name. Regret, maybe? “What, Harry?” I said in a calm voice, although my breathing was still harsh with anger that had yet to dissolve.
“Why are you moving out?” he asked, and the tone of his voice made my brain halt for a long moment. I could have given him a list pages long about why my staying with him had been a horrible idea in the first place, but instead I kept my mouth shut, not quite sure of how to word myself.
I could have been straight forward: “You’re a criminal, and we shouldn’t be together.” But the stupid part of me that sat on my shoulder with red horns and a tail called out the bullshit in that statement. I did want to be with him, more than anything. It was to the point where nothing could be said or done that would change my feels about Harry.
“You’ve hardly been there for a few days,” he continued, and I took a step away from the door, needing more space than he was allowing.
“Harry, I… I need some time to process everything. I can’t just… You were about to kill someone, Harry. I guess my attempts at saving the poor guy’s life were useless because Chase or whoever else works for you probably already killed him.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while his eyes shut. “I could stand here and explain to you why firstly, it’s none of your goddamn business what I do at my job and whom I kill. I could try to explain why you coming in there was the stupidest thing you could have done. I could stand here for hours and try to get it through your stubborn little head that this is what I do, and sometimes lives will be lost.
“No one will give two fucking shits if Mike dies! He’s a fucking meth head that wasn’t going to last the week before probably overdosing to his fucking death!”
My jaw had slightly fallen, and I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. “He’s a human being, Harry. And you were going to kill him in front of everyone like it was just another day at the office. And why the fuck were there prostitutes all over the place?!”
He pulled at his hair, eyes narrowing at me. “I don’t control what the guy’s do. If they want to pay for entertainment, then I’m not going to stop them.”
I shook my head. “Aren’t you afraid they’ll tell the cops what goes on in there?”
I could tell I was getting on his nerves, but I needed answers. “They’re not going to tell anyone, as far as I’m concerned. The second they open their mouth, the first word that comes out will also be their last. They know that.”
“So what the fuck are you? A drug dealer? Please tell me because I have never been so confused in my life.” I set my bag down on the counter by the front door.
“It’s complicated,” he began, not meeting my eyes.
“Entertain me.” My lips thinned.
He sighed. “Two years ago, my parents, my sister, and I all came to New York for a holiday. My dad worked at a car dealership and they were thinking of transferring him over here for a while. We wanted to check out the place.”
I leaned back against the door as he spoke, shifting uncomfortably on his feet, and I had a feeling that I knew why. “Um, I had just turned seventeen, I think. Anyway, my sister, Becca, she met this boy while we were staying here. My parents got bloody pissed, mostly because they didn’t want her dating some American without manners.” He chuckled at the memory, biting against his lower lip. “We had rented this house that we were staying at, and Becca brought him over for dinner. Of course, I didn’t approve, either. I never liked the thought of my sister dating someone.”
I smiled, my arms loosening at my sides. I didn’t know much about Harry’s sister apart from what she looked like and that she was a few years older than Harry. I liked the way he talked about her. It made me want to meet her one day. “So here comes this guy with messy blond hair and these eyes that freaked you out after a while, and he says, “Hello, I’m Chase Marshalls!””
My mouth falls open, and my hand reaches over my face, pressing to my forehead. “Holy shit. Chase is dating your sister?”
He quickly shakes his head, a disgusted look on his face. “God no. Not anymore, at least. They broke up before we left to go back home, but… Anyway, I grew to like Chase. He always had a spliff handy when I needed it, and even some harder shit that I couldn’t imagine how he’d gotten a hold of. He then started taking me along with him to deals, and the rush of it was my favorite part. He taught me everything I know…”
I wanted to ask him why Chase had said that Harry was his boss, but I didn’t want him to know that I talked Chase in the first place. He wouldn’t like it, at all. Harry coughed. “About a month after we came here, my parents were coming back from some dinner. It was late at night.”
He stopped talking, staring down at his fingers. "My parents died in a car crash two years ago. I had nothing left back home, and I wanted a new start.” I remembered him telling me a few weeks after we had first met, at a small diner while we drank disgusting tea from old mugs. My heart squeezed too tightly together, shattering into pieces at the sight of him looking lost while he continued to ignore my gaze.
“We don’t really know what happened. They said their brakes failed, but I don’t know. I kind of went crazy after that, and we went back home for the funeral. Chase came with us, even though he and Becca were over by then. He saw what their death did to me, and when he said he was leaving, I said that I’d go with him. We built our business from there, and it just kind of spread. I never looked back.”
I slowly shook my head, my arms crossing into my chest. “So… Who’s the leader of it all?” I asked the question nagging at me.
“I am.” He smiled, but offered nothing else as an explanation.
“Oh.” I curtly replied.
“Any more questions you have, Miss?” Harry raised his eyebrow at me, and I took a step towards him.
“Don’t act cute with me. I’m still pissed at you.” His face fell at my words, and his jaw noticeably clenched back.
“You shouldn’t be the one mad. What you pulled today wasn’t acceptable.”
“I’m sorry. Was I meant to act any differently?” I raised my arms in bewilderment.
He rolled his eyes. “Come on. We have to go. We’re technically trespassing and could get arrested if we get caught.”
“As if that will be the reason you get arrested.” I immediately regretted the words as soon as they escaped, and in a flash, the small moment that we shared together vanished. He frowned.
“Watch that smart mouth of yours, sweetheart. It will get you in a lot of trouble someday,” he warned, but I wasn’t having any of it. Every event that had occurred today had piled a tense amount of stress on my shoulders, and I was slowly starting to corrupt under its weight.
“You know what, Harry? Fuck you. I’m done with being intimidated by you. You think you have some spell over me and that I’ll do as you please, but you are so wrong. Not only are a fucking asshole, but you’re also a criminal.”
I walked past him, my shoulder bumping into him while I paced through the living room and out of the back door that led to the back yard. I was stunned for a second as I looked up at the sky, having turned a dark blue during our time inside the house.
I heard his footsteps casually follow after me, and he shut the door that led outside. I turned around to look at him. “That’s really quite funny, love. You don’t seem to mind my criminal ways when I’m fucking you, do you?”
“That’s a low blow.” I shook my head, disbelief in my tone.
He shrugged. “Are you coming?”
“No!” I suddenly screeched, feeling my anger seep out through the cracks in my wall. “I don’t want to be fucking near you! I don’t want to see your fucking face! Now go! LEAVE!”
“Avery—” He took a step towards me, and I instinctively took one back, only to stop when my feet met the rough edge of the pool that stood behind me. Fuck, I thought. The pool cover had been on last week, not nearly warm enough for swimming.
“Stop. Don’t come near me.” I frantically shook my head.
He didn’t listen to a word I spoke as he was now standing right before me. “I’m sorry,” he said, much to my surprise.
“Don’t,” I sternly spoke.
“Kiss me,” he suddenly said, and my eyes widened.
Before I could respond or correctly react, his lips were on mine, and in a rush to pull him away from me, I let go of my balance, and his weight fell heavy on my body, causing me to tip backwards and sink into the cold water of the pool.
My ears were surrounded by the sound of the filter and splashing, my hair floating before me and blocking my vision. I kicked my feet, quickly swimming up to the surface and gasping for air. Harry followed right after, shaking out his hair and causing droplets of water to hit me. “You fucking idiot!” I screeched, smacking my hands against his shoulder in absolute rage.
“It’s not my fault you’re clumsy!” he defended, and as badly as I wanted to hit him again or maybe dunk his head into the water, I no longer held any energy left in me. My body was drained, and I couldn’t force myself to be mad at him.
And so we floated in the water in silence, and I wanted to punch myself for everything that I had said and done. Harry was right; it was none of my business what he did, and even then he had still opened up and told me more about how he got started doing what he does. I was expecting too much from him, and I knew that he had given me all he had.
I saw his hand reach towards me, and he gently pushed back my hair so that it no longer stood sticking to my face. His head cocked to the side. “You kind of look like a raccoon.” At my expression, he laughed, his eyes lightly squinting. “I’m kidding, love. You look beautiful, even with makeup dripping down your face.” I let my forehead rest on his shoulder with a pout, and he carefully pushed me into the wall behind, holding me against the corner of the pool. “Baby… I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.” I mumbled into his shirt, and only then I began to feel the discomfort of wet jeans. “I can’t believe you made us fall into the pool.”
He chuckled, grabbing my chin and tugging so that I was facing him. “Give me your lips, and you’ll be forgiven.”
I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck to lift myself further up, being significantly shorter than him in the unsteady water. His mouth pressed to mine, and just like that, everything was forgotten. I didn’t care what he was or what he did. I didn’t care about anything but us. And I loved him. I swear I did.