We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough
As you drive me to my house
I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down
You and I both have to hide
On the outside where I can't be yours and you
Can't be mine
The Perspective of Leigh-Anne Pinnock
She did it all just for me. I've never had somebody who could do the things that just amaze me. I may or may not have set my expectations low for Jade, but it's only because that's what I've always done. For everyone I've dated. This time it was different, though. She knew what she did was wrong and stupid, but she tried to fix it, make it better. My eyes fluttered open and the moon shone through my eyelids. I lifted my head off of the shoulder that belonged to the one and only Jade Thirlwall. It was perfect. We had fallen asleep against each others warm breathing as the sun set into the water. I smiled as I watched her fast asleep, soft breathing steady. I gave the brunette a chaste kiss on the cheek, chewing on my lower lip, awaiting for her awakening. "Mmmm." The Geordie hummed and I stopped chewing on my lip and began to smile. "Jadey." I whispered warmly against her ear, pushing a piece of hair behind it, as if it mattered, I just wanted an excuse to touch her. "Leighly." She whispered back before standing and I stood with her. "C'mon, let's get back to the beach house." She whispered into my ear and took the lead. We began to walk back to the beach house which honestly wasn't too far away. As we walked, I admired the moonlight and the stars that ignited the sky, such a fantasy alive.
Suddenly there was a stop in my breath and a roughness against my skin. My cheeks burned red and I couldn't breathe. I. Couldn't Breathe. There was a hand clasped over my lips and I could. Not. Breathe. At. All. I tried to bite it, knowing it wasn't the gentle hand of the one I knew and loved. The hands were rough and dry, large and stronger than I could bare. I tried to inhale but my entire breathing units were covered by that hand. I grew lightheaded and my body was trembling entirely. God forbid my death would be near if it weren't for that sweet Geordie voice that startled the dangerous person. "Leighly?" I heard her call and the person released their hand from my face. "Say something." They muttered into my ear, a deep and husky voice that could only belong to a man. "I'll be there soon!" I called to my love and she called back, "Alright be safe!" Before I heard the closing of a door and then I knew I was alone. "What do you want?" I questioned, clearly panicked with only adrenaline running through my veins and vocal cords, coming out as heavy breathing. I could tell an anxiety attack was near but I had to stay calm, stay calm. Only my thoughts could comfort and soothe me before I felt the man wrap his arms around me and pull me into an embrace. "Calm." He muttered into my ear. More panic, and now confusion, rushed from my heart to my brain and then back again. He let go and somehow I had calmed down a bit. It was too dark to see his face and I couldn't recognize his figure which only caused more confusion.
"What do you want." I repeated more flatly so it came out as a statement more than anything. The cold winds ran through my hair, riding each strand gracefully. He came closer to me and looked down at me, and for some reason I still couldn't figure out who he was. After too much silence he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear which made a sudden discomfort appear in knots in my stomach. "You." He muttered and I shook my head. "Stay away from Jade. You'll be mine soon. Mine and only mine." Mine. I hated him calling me that, I didn't even know him. "Or I'll kill her." He stated before getting closer to me, pulling a knife out of his pocket. He grazed it lightly against my neck, chuckling. "Or maybe you." He laughed hard. As if someone had told a hysterical joke, something so amusing. "Oh.." I whispered and that's all I could manage with tears flooding my eyelids before pouring out. "See you, love." He said in a low and husky voice. He kissed my cheek and I don't know where the courage in me rose. Maybe it was the thought of Jade and how only her lips belonged there. Maybe it was because mum always told her to not let strangers touch you. But I pushed him away and all he did was chuckle as he stumbled over a few rocks in the sand. "You'll come 'round." He whispered in a creepy voice which sent chills down my spine. He soon disappeared into the night and at that, I felt unsafe. I wanted to protect Jade, but I knew I was no match for the man in the night.
"Leighly!" I heard Jade shout as she rushed to me and pulled me into her arms. "Hey, love." I stated rather dully, it wasn't purposeful I was just still so shaken.
"What's wrong Leigh..?"
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"No.. something's wrong... tell me.."
"Listen, Jade, it's complicated."
"So you won't tell me just because it's complex?"
"No, Jade, it's just.."
"Leigh.." Jade whispered into my ear and took my hand, walking me over to the bed. How was I supposed to tell her that we couldn't be together? Especially after she had done something this nice for me. I couldn't just say that there was a killer out to murder her if I continued to be with her. There's just no way. I had to find a way, though. I inhaled a breath and exhaled it before biting my lower lip. "Jade.. we can't... be together.." I muttered and looked away from her. I couldn't bare to see the look on her face, I just couldn't. I felt a hand on my cheek and it pulled my face upwards. "Why?" She questioned as her voice broke and her eyes inflamed with hurt and drowned with confusion. "I...." I didn't know what to say. She looked too broken and well... I just didn't know. Why am I to trust some random man that he would kill the love of my life? I shouldn't. Should I? I wasn't taking any chances but I also couldn't lie to the love of my life. "Jade.. outside a man approached me and.." I started to cry after these words, "he... he doesn't want me to be with you and... he... wants you dead.." I whispered the last bit and she pulled me into a tight hug. "I don't care." She muttered in the hug before she pulled out of it. "I love you, Leigh-Anne Pinnock." She whispered, looking into my eyes. There were those words again.' I love you.' We looked into each other's eyes for what felt like forever. I was speechless. The words sounded true and I had been afraid of them for so long. I had been afraid of love, because I'd never been in love and only fooled to believe so. "I.. I love you.. Jade Thirlwall." I whispered and she pulled me close.
If it hadn't been in that moment, I would have said 'Don't kiss me' just to tease. Something felt right about this moment, though. It was the energy of love that connected our lips and made her hold me tight. There are always consequences to disobeying rules but there were no rules outside of school and work. We were away from both but we had been told a rule that we didn't obey. Too bad that we didn't care. We were supposed to keep it down, keep it quiet, secret. Stupid kids, weren't we? But we didn't care. We were stupid and in love. Stupid in secret love. Or well, it should have been.