Flashback continues
Day Seven - 24 March 2016
Eco Lodge Dining Hall
8.30 am
Ishita waved across the room at Raman as he strode into the dining hall, his eyes searching for her.
She had not seen him since his confidences of the previous night, and she had been wondering how he would be this morning, and how she should act when she did see him. It was his son's birthday today, after all. He must have woken up with his son on his mind, thinking back to the time of his birth. He must be wondering how his son would celebrate this milestone birthday. And he must be so conscious of the fact that he could not share the day with his little boy, could not celebrate the day when he had become a father.
She had felt so much empathy for him yesterday, had finally seen and understood the pain he hid underneath his gruff exterior and his sarcasm. And she had felt close to him, had truly felt as though they were friends. But everything about last night had such a dream like quality. She hoped that the closeness she had felt to him, the friendship that she believed they had developed, had not just been an illusion of the twilight. She hoped that he did not feel embarrassed or awkward that he had opened up to her, had told her the hidden secrets of his life, the truth about his son and his estranged wife.
But there was no awkwardness in him as he sat down opposite her.
"Phir ghaas poos" (Grass again) he wrinkled his nose at her plate, as one of the waiters came scurrying over to him.
"Aap ka roz ka breakfast ladoon sir" the young man said eagerly. "Aap ka chai, toast aur fruit."
(Shall I bring your usual breakfast sir? Your tea, toast and fruit)
"Nahi yaar, aaj toh mujhe aloo ke paratha khane ko man kar raha hai. Double makhan laga kar." (No buddy. Today I feel like eating aloo paratha. Buttered on both sides)
He looked pleadingly at the young man, who immediately nodded his head. "Mein chef se kehta hoon sir. Aap ke liye zaroor bana denge."
(I'll tell chef sir. I know he will make it for you)
The waiter scurried away and Ishita chuckled as she shook her head at him, relieved to hear his banter. He seemed okay. He seemed normal.
"Kaise karlete ho yeh sab aap?" She mock scolded him. "Sab aap ka kaam karne ko taiyaar ho jaate hain"
(How do you always do it? Everyone gets ready to do whatever you want)
"It's called charm Dr Iyer" he looked at her thoughtfully, his lips curving into a smile.
He had woken up this morning thinking of Adi, it was true, but there had not been the despair, the hopelessness of yesterday's awakening. He had not been dreaming of Adi leaving him. Instead, he had been dreaming of Adi coming back to him. There was renewed hope, renewed vigor in him, and he thought, he believed, that it was partly because of her. She had offered no unnecessary words of advice, no trite cliches the night before, but just unloading his sorrows to her, having her arms around him, had comforted him in ways he could not understand. He was grateful, and he was hopeful. And so he smiled.
It was the first smile that he had ever given her that reached his eyes, a slow sexy grin that shed years from his face, enhanced his handsomeness and that spoke of true happiness. And it sent a shiver of warmth coursing down her body. A burst of pure joy, an irrational happiness that blindsided her with its intensity.
He was right. He had charm. But why was she getting charmed? She wasn't some silly girl like Mona, she was a professional woman, a dentist, she was smart, she was sensible...and she was floored. She looked away, confused, chiding herself as she bent her head to her own toast.
"Ishita, listen"
His urgent tone made her look up again and she wrinkled her brow as she saw how serious, how earnest, he looked.
"Thank you, for last night. For listening to me. It helped, talking about Adi."
"I told you Raman, that's what friends do." She wondered again at the warmth that spread through her when he looked at her in that way. He infuriated her, but he also made her feel so vital, so alive. "What does Adi look like?" she asked hurriedly, to cover her confusion. "Does he look like you?"
"Here" he said, flicking through his phone gallery until he got to the photo he was looking for. He paused for a second, lovingly caressing the photo montage on the screen, before passing his phone over to her. "You tell me if he looks like me. This is Adi"
Ishita looked at the two photos side by side – one of a chubby faced toddler, snug in his father's arms. A younger, chubbier, bespectacled Raman. And the same toddler a few years later, in a football jersey, smiling broadly, his face leaner, looking so much like his father did today.
Her eyes threatened to fill with tears as she saw the pride in his younger face in the photo, reflected in the pride in his face as he watched her reaction to his son's photo. He obviously loved his son so much. How cruel was his estranged wife, this ... Shagun, he had called her... to keep such a loving father away from his only child.
She passed the phone back, smiling tremulously at him, but thankfully, he did not seem to notice her incipient tears as he put his phone back into his pocket.
"He looks exactly like you" she said softly, and he smiled that smile again.
"Ten is such a momentous age Ishita" he said reflectively. "I wish I could do something worthwhile to mark Adi's birthday. I cant call him, cant wish him, cant celebrate it with him, that's true, but I could have done something better than to spend my evening in a bar like I did yesterday. Anyway...ah, here's my paratha."
The waiter had returned with a grin, and put a plate with two steaming parathas on the table before Raman, before withdrawing unobtrusively. Raman called out his thanks and then fell ravenously on the piping hot paratha, oozing with butter, as Ishita stared at him thoughtfully.
What he had just said had given her an idea. An idea that was definitely worth pursuing. But if she told him now what she was thinking, he would stop her. She did not know him well, but almost a week of acquaintance had taught her somethings about him. So she needed to keep her plans a secret from him, to give him a nice surprise. She did not stop to wonder why she wanted to do something for him, she only knew that her heart sang with joy at the thought of making him happy, of being the reason for his smiles.
"Raman, just give me that photo again" she stretched out a hand.
"Kyun?" He asked in some surprise. "Pyar ho gaya mere bete se?"
(Why? Have you fallen in love with my son?)
"Hai toh bahut pyara" she said, still keeping her hand out. "Lekin mujhe uske daat dekhna hai. Woh latest photo mein. He's got a very interesting shaped tooth."
(He is very lovable. But actually I want to see his teeth. In the latest photo? He has very interesting teeth. )
He looked at her in stupefaction and then threw his head back and laughed, bringing up the photo before handing her his phone
"Tum paagal ho, tum jaanti ho? Bilkul paagal."
(You're crazy you know? Totally crazy)
She took the phone, looking at the photo from one angle then another, zooming in, as thankfully, the waiter came up with another paratha. Then, surreptitiously, while his attention was engaged, she took a quick shot of Adi's photo with her own phone. And then one of him as he gestured to the waiter. It was part of her plan.
She waited until after he had finished breakfast, when he was waiting for her to join him in the group gathering by Raju Guide's side, to tell him that she wasn't joining him on the walk that day.
"But why?" he asked concerned. "Arent you feeling okay? Doctor ke paas lekar chaloon mein?" (Shall I take you to the doctor?)
"No" she said with a smile, as her heart leapt at the concern in his voice. Why did it matter so much when he seemed to care? "I'm fine, mujhe bas town se kuch cheez lena hai, aur thoda rest bhi karna tha. Kitni exercise ho gayi in cheh saat dinon mein. I'll just spend a relaxing day, go to town..."
(No, I'm fine. I just need to buy some things in town. And I want to rest a little bit too. We've done so much exercise in the past week. I'll just spend a relaxing day, go to town...)
"And how will you go?" he asked, concern still evident in his voice. "I'll drive you."
"No Raman, please" she said firmly, willing her eager heart to calm down. "Aap apne walk par jaiye, please. Kal bhi aap is tarha se aa gaye theh..bechaara Raju naraaz ho jayega agar hum dono nahi gaye. Mein ne taxi call kiya hai, aati hi hogi. Aap jaiye, please."
(No Raman, please. You go on the walk, please. Yesterday you left early too. Poor Raju will g upset if both of us don't join him. I've called for a taxi, it must be coming. You go please.)
So he had reluctantly left her, joining Raju and informing him loudly that he would be his boyfriend for the day. He had turned back to wink at her as Raju had guffawed nervously, and she had blushed as she remembered the misconceptions that she had been harboring about him, the nonsense she had blurted out to him on the previous day. She hoped what she was going to do for him today would go some way towards being an apology for her uncharitable defamatory thoughts about him.
She waved goodbye as the group moved away and then headed determinedly towards the Managers office. It was just after 9 am, but she had so much to do. Raman would be back in four to five hours, and everything had to be organized by then. First things first though. She needed to get Mr Lobo's permission, enroll his assistance, and then she needed to make things happen.
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Five Hours Later
2pm
Ishita looked with satisfaction at her handiwork.
She had taken over one of the activity rooms in the hall, and with the enthusiastic support of Mr Lobo, had coopted a few of the staff to help her. She had not been able to find everything she needed in Shimla town, and her budget had been quite limited, but it would do, she decided, as she cast a critical eye over the decorations.
There was a large iced cake and snacks on the table, and balloons and streamers decked the walls. A bunch of gaily decorated presents were heaped on the side. The presents were just inexpensive toys, books, tennis balls and dolls that had cost just a few rupees each. But she knew they would give much pleasure to the little guests who would join them in a couple of hours.
First though, she had to go and pick up her present for him. The artist she had given the commission to this morning had assured her that he would get the painting finished by 3pm. It wouldn't be anything great, she knew, but she had heard about the quick portraits these talented men were able to churn out in a mere hour or so, while their subjects posed for them at the various Shimla scenic spots. She had asked Mr Lobo when the idea had struck her this morning, and he had been able to put her in touch with one of those street artists. It had been challenging negotiating a price - but she had finally managed to get the artist down to an amount she could afford. Although even that was a lot for her and it meant that she had would not be able to pick up any souvenirs for her family, she realized with a pang. Still it was for a good cause, she told herself, not daring to analyze her motives any deeper than that.
She needed to get going if she was to pick the painting up , and get back in time for the children's arrival at 4.30, she reminded herself. Mr Lobo had assured her that he would have the children, the offspring of the Lodge security and cleaning staff, who stayed in the nearby village, picked up at around 4pm for the party. He had also assured her that he would make sure that Raman did not wander into the room by mistake. Although there wasn't much chance of that. After his walk was the time he usually spent on his calls to his office and catching up on work, so she wasn't too worried.
She gave a final look around the room and rushed out.
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4.40 pm
Raman put away his phone and laptop and stretched his arms, cracking his knuckles as he sat back on the sofa.
The trek hadn't been the same today without her, he realised. The Hungarians were lovely people, but their English was too limited for any meaningful discussions. And Raju and his assistant, who he could speak to, didn't have the wit or quick intelligence to respond to his barbs in the way that Ishita did. And they weren't as easy on the eye either of course.
But she was more than just smart and sexy, he had come to realise. She was also a really good human being, a really nice person. She had been genuinely concerned about him yesterday. Mr Lobo had told him this morning how she had come to Mr Lobo the previous day, demanding that a search party be sent out.
He had gone out of his way to annoy her, to hide his attraction to her, but she could still find it in her heart to care.
He wondered just what she was doing, just where she had gotten to. He had wandered over to the hall when they had returned from the trek, and he had discovered she was not in the cabin, but then he had found out that she had gone back into Shimla town. Just what did she have to do in town all of a sudden, he mused, wondering why he was so bothered about her absence. Why did he miss her so much? After all, what did he know about her? That she was a madrassan dentist from Delhi. That she was a neat freak who woke up at the crack of dawn. A vegetarian yoga devotee. But those were just external things. He did not know who she really was, what she was doing here in Shimla, alone. What she was running away from that was so distasteful to her that she had agreed to share a cabin with a strange man, an action which he knew was innately alien to her evidently conservative background and nature.
He had shared parts of his story with her yesterday. He realised that he wanted to know her story too.
He got got his feet and glanced at his watch. It was 4.45pm. It would get start to dark in an hour and half. Where the hell was she? He grabbed his keys and moved towards the door - he would go and look for her.
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Meanwhile, over at the Activity Room in the Main Hall
Ishita smiled at the excited children sitting quietly on the edges of their chairs around the table, eyeing the huge cake and snacks, and the brightly packaged parcels that were piled up in the corner . There were over twenty children in all, the sons and daughters of the men who worked as security guards, gardeners and waiters at the Ecolodge. They had been picked up at their village by the staff bus some ten minutes earlier, arranged by Mr Lobo. The bus would be back to take them back home in two hours time. In the meantime, they would help Adi's papa to celebrate Adi's birthday.
She had better go and get him, she realised, as she noticed how hungry some of the children looked. As soon as he got here and they cut the cake, the children could eat and then they could distribute the presents and play games until it was time to go home.
She gestured to one of the three waiters who Mr Lobo had delegated to help her.
"Bachon ko sharbat do, mein Mr Bhalla ko bula kar laati hoon, phir cake ko katenge"
(Give the children some juice. I'll go and call Mr Bhalla and then we can cut the cake)
The young man grinned and nodded and she walked over to the door. It was time to see whether Mr Bhalla liked her surprise.
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Raman had just reached the entrance to the hall when he saw Ishita coming out of one of the activity rooms.
He strode towards her, wondering why he felt such a sense of relief and joy, almost, at seeing her. He had known her for six days. He had nothing in common with her. So why this feeling of companionship, this recognition, as if he had found someone his soul had been searching for, for aeons. Stop being a fanciful idiot Raman he chided himself. Life isn't some Ekta Kapoor saas bahu serial.. You just think she's hot. This is lust my boy, pure and simple.
And yet he couldn't stop his heart from singing as he approached her, a smile lighting up his face.
She stared at him nervously, wishing her heart would stop thundering. That smile, the way his eyes crinkled .... why did it make her heart skip a beat? Just what was happening to her? Just what was the matter with her? But more importantly right now, would he like what she had done? Or would he be angry that she had made assumptions on his behalf, had roped all these children in to help celebrate his son's birthday. It's true he had said he wished he could mark Adi's birthday in a meaningful way, but he had also said he couldn't, didn't, talk about Adi. Should she have done this? Would he be angry? The questions chased themselves across her mind as he reached her.
He saw the nervousness on her face, and his smile froze.
"Ishita? Kya hua? What's wrong. Is everything okay?"
She heard the concern in his deep voice and her heart gave another flip. Aiyoo Murugan, she sent up a silent prayer. Please don't let him be angry. Please make him like his surprise.
"Ishita" he repeated urgently. "Why are you staring at me like that? What's wrong?"
She took a deep breath.
"Raman..." she started hesitatingly. "Do you remember yesterday that you said you wished you could celebrate Adi's tenth birthday more meaningfully, that even though he wasn't with you, you wished you could do something to mark his day? Yaad hai aap ko?"
"Haan" he said cautiously, his eyes narrowing. "Mujhe yaad hai, Lekin mein ne yeh bhi kaha tha ki Adi mera personal matter hair. Mujhe apni jazbaaton ki numaish karna pasand nahi hai Ishita. I don't want to make a circus out of my life."
(Yes I remember. I did say that but I also remember that I said that Adi is my personal matter. I don't like to make a public display of my personal life and my feelings Ishita. I don't want to make a circus out of my life)
"Not a circus" she said quickly, her heart sinking slightly at the grim look dawning on his face. "Just a few children from the village. The children of the unestablished staff here. They don't have much and I thought if you shared a cake and some small presents with them today, it would bring them so much happiness and they would bless Adi too."
He continued to look at her in silence and her heart sunk further.
"I don't know Ishita" he finally said. "It's not easy for me... I told you .....besides, it's too late to arrange to get the children here now, and who is going to organize the food and presents and everything?"
"I've already done all that" she said hurriedly and then watched in dismay as a thunderous expression settled onto his face.
"You've done it?" He asked incredulously. "Without asking me first? What the hell? You're the one who talks about boundaries and now you've ... you've gone and done something like this. Who the hell do you think you are?"
"I've just organized a party for the children Raman" she retorted, stung at his negativity while wondering why her heart hurt so much at his attitude. Would he really refuse to take part in the party? Was he going to storm off? "I haven't said anything about Adi. That's not for me to do. You can come in, and make this into Adi's birthday celebration, or else the children can just have a party. Either way, the children will be happy, and I'm going to go in and enjoy myself with them."
Her eyes stung with angry tears as she glared at him. After everything she had done for him, all the effort she had put in....not to mention the gift she had gotten for him. She wiped her eyes angrily and then threw up her hands in despair. "I can't force you to do anything Mr Bhalla" her voice was shaky, brimming with tears. "And I'm sorry, I'm really sorry if I've overstepped my boundaries, but I just wanted to do something nice, to collect some...some blessings for your son."
She wondered why his anger hurt so much. Why it felt as if someone was twisting a knife in her heart. Snap out of it Ishita she told herself angrily. Serves you right for trying to do something for him. Who is he to you anyway? She gave herself a mental shake and pirouetted on her heels, heading back to the activity room. Let him stay here and stew in his self righteous anger. She would go and have fun with the children.
She had only taken two steps though, when one of his hands shot out, holding her left arm in a vice like grip. He looked at her, his expression inscrutable.
"In there?" He gestured towards the room she had come out of.
"Yes" she said, refusing to look at him.
He looked at her for another few long seconds, then shaking his head, he let her go and strode towards the door leading to the activity room.
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Raman took a deep breath before he opened the door. He hated this he told himself. Hated having strangers know about his personal pain, his personal grief. He should never have told her, why the bell couldn't she have kept Adi's birthday to herself, what right did she have... He shook his head and opened the door, and then froze as he looked in astonishment at the sight before him.
The room had been decorated with streamers and balloons, a table groaning with food, including a big cake with Happy Birthday Adi written on it, and a pile of gaily wrapped presents on a side table. And around the table sat some twenty or so children, dressed in old clothes and scruffy shoes, but with clean shining faces and neatly tied hair. They were drinking juice, from glasses held carefully in little hands, and they were eyeing the food, some surreptitiously, others openly.
Some of them would be of Adi's age, some were younger. And as he stared at them, he realised that his son would be sitting amongst a group of children today as well, celebrating his birthday. He would be smiling and laughing, receiving gifts, accepting congratulations - but none of those gifts, none of those congratulations would be from his papa. So if his papa couldn't wish him, couldn't bring him happiness today, couldn't he do it for these less fortunate children instead? Wasn't that so much better than wallowing in his grief and self pity?
He looked around the room again, noting the care with which the decorations had been arranged, the heap of wrapped presents that must have taken so much time to prepare. She had really gone all out, the paagal madrassan. And she had done it so he could mark his son's birthday in a way that had meaning. She had given up an entire day of her holiday to organize this party. Had spent money that she probably couldn't afford to spend. All to collect blessings for a child she had never met and to bring happiness to a man who she barely knew.
Who did something like that in this day and age? Something so selfless for others. She was something else - something unique, something out of his experience. And he was so grateful that he had met her.
He turned to look behind him and smiled, that sweet smile that crossed his face so rarely, and that denoted a happiness that came straight from his heart.
"Thank you" he mouthed.
She forgot her annoyance, forgot her anger at that smile, and she smiled back at him.
"You're welcome" she said softly. And then she followed him into the room.