Chapter 44 (Ava)
When I saw the crowd of people, I knew where Dumbledore's body was.
I stopped for a moment, hesitating, and Fred reached out to take my hand again,
“You don’t have to look if you don’t want to. If you want to remember him alive and breathing, don’t look.”
I shook my head,
“I- I’d rather know that he’s at peace.”
I pushed my way through the crowd of students, expecting irritated mutters in response.
But I didn’t get a response from a single student. The only noise I could hear was sobs and shouts of those around me when they could see what had happened.
I finally got to the front of the throng of students, and the moment I saw Dumbledore’s limp, lifeless body on the floor, my legs gave way and I fell to my knees. I lowered my head and sobbed quietly, not wiping away the tears on my cheeks. I felt Fred crouch down beside me, but he didn’t say anything.
Slowly, I reached my hand out and place it on top of Dumbledore’s chest, taking a deep breath,
“I tried my best to save you, I really did. Both of us- I think we both convinced Draco. He wasn’t going to do it. I just… I didn’t realise that Snape wasn’t on our side. You trusted him…”
I shook my head and gulped,
“But in the end- in the end, didn’t I do the right thing? The look on your face when I… when I stood up to Fenrir- I can only describe that as pride. I did do the right thing; I just did it too late.”
My final two words were quiet, too quiet for even Fred to hear,
“I’m sorry.”
I pulled my hand away but stayed where I was, silently sobbing. My hair concealed my face from everyone else apart from Fred. He didn’t reach out to comfort me, possibly because he knew that I needed a moment alone. I was fine with that.
I stopped hearing the sobs and shouts of everyone around me as a wave of guilt crushed me. Things could have gone differently- I could have told Dumbledore about everything in the first place.
Why hadn’t I?
“Fred? We need to go to the Hospital Wing- I was sent to find you and Ava.”
I straightened and turned around at the sound of a familiar voice. George was standing there, looking slightly dishevelled with his hands in his pockets and a couple of cuts on his face.
I stood up,
“George- I wondered where you were.”
I stepped forwards and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. After a moment, he pulled away,
“Do you need a few more minutes? Or are you okay?”
I glanced back over at Dumbledore’s body and shook my head slowly,
“I think- I think I’m okay.”
Fred stood up too and the three of us started to walk in silence to the Hospital Wing. I felt like I was stumbling through a fog, my whole body still numb. I realised with a gasp of pain that my ankle was swollen- though I didn’t remember spraining it.
George paused for a moment, and finally broke the silence,
“Bill’s in the Hospital Wing. Seriously injured.”
Fred’s head shot up and he gulped,
“What happened?”
His twin turned away,
“Fenrir Greyback. He… uh he attacked him. He won’t become a werewolf because it wasn’t the full moon… but the scratches on his face… they won’t heal.”
Fred shivered, but didn’t say anything.
The Hospital Wing felt eerily silent, as everyone was sitting down by beds or standing at the end, their faces pale.
I limped in through the door and caught sight of Harry talking with Ron and Hermione. He looked up at me, and I froze. What did he think of me now? Did he hate me?
“Harry, I’m so sorry-”
I was cut off as he pulled me towards him into a tight hug.
“You didn’t deserve anything that happened to you this year. I should have known that there was a deeper problem.”
I shook my head,
“It’s my fault, Harry. I could have told you to begin with-”
He whispered in my ear so softly I had to strain my ears to hear him,
“At the cost of another’s life. You made the right decision… in the end.”
I pulled away from the hug and looked at his pale face, at the dark shadows under his eyes- and I knew immediately how much Dumbledore’s death had crushed him. I just wished that I could change things.
I squeezed Harry’s hand and turned away from him to look at everyone else in the Hospital Wing.
“Ava?”
A familiar, husky voice that I hadn’t heard in a long time caught my attention and I looked up.
“Remus!”
His name came out as a half-sob, and I stared at him for the briefest of moments before limping towards his outstretched arms.
He caught me as I half fell onto him, and held onto me tightly, lifting me off my feet as he gulped,
“I didn’t think I would see you again- I was sure the Death Eaters were going to take you. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you too.”
It dawned on me how much Remus had gone through over the past fifteen years with my parents and Sirius dying. He must have felt so alone.
“I miss Sirius too,” I tried to keep my voice steady.
I felt Remus’ shoulders drop a little at the mention of his best friend’s name, and I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. After a moment, I bent up on my tip toes and whispered in his ear,
“Love you, Uncle Remus.”
I felt him smile, and I let go of him,
“I won’t leave anytime soon, I promise.”
Remus nodded, and turned away for a moment to hide his face. I realised with a jolt that he was wiping away tears.
I turned around, taking a step away from him to give him some privacy and I gasped when my arm collided with someone else’s. I glanced up at Fred,
“Sorry. I wasn’t-”
“Hey, it’s okay.” His voice was soft, and I had to glance away from him for a moment to stop my eyes filling with tears. The freckles scattered across his nose and the way his ginger hair stuck up all over the place reminded me of the old days- the days before he left.
I took a deep breath and finally plucked up the courage to look into his dark brown eyes,
“Do you think…”
I trailed off, not sure how to word the sentence. I shook my head and tried again,
“Maybe… Maybe we should start again.”
Fred’s forehead creased in confusion,
“What do you mean?”
I held my hand out between us and smiled,
“Ava Potter. Nice to meet you.”
Slowly, Fred reached his own hand out to touch mine and shook it gently,
“Fred Weasley. And at least you have the decency this time to tell me your full name, so I don’t choke on my dinner when I find out that you’re Harry Potter’s sister.”
A genuine laugh bubbled up out of my mouth,
“At the time I just hadn’t realised how famous my brother was in the wizarding world. But now I know.”
We finished shaking each other’s hands and I pulled mine away with a small smile.
I lost my balance for a moment and I heard Fred call out,
“Ava- are you alright?”
Everything from the past few hours had finally caught up with me- the emotions and the memories- and my eyes started to slide shut.
Just before I fell to the floor, I felt Remus’ strong arms wrap around my torso, catching me just in time.
And in that moment, I knew that I was safe.