Kirishima walked to the kitchen, with shaky hands he got water. He gulped it down, running to his dorm before Kaminari could find him. He slammed his door, pushing all of his books to the floor.He was upset.
Upset at Kaminari.
Upset at himself.
Upset at his class.
"I should probably should cover these. I don't want them to think I'm framing him."
He bandaged himself fairly well, looking down at the bandaged arm. His lifted it up to the light of his window.
Decent enough.
He sighed and dragged over to his bed, the events replaying in his head.
He wanted to talk to someone about it, but who would believe him?
He got up and went to the kitchen. He didn't want anyone waking up.
We're too deep to come back now.
Kaminari got up from outside, entering the dorm and closing the door behind him. It was quiet, and still. Nothing how Kaminari was.
Were.
He looked around the dorm rooms, the familiar scent sending him memories. Sure, being the traitor was a job he had to do, but it didn't erase any of the memories he had created with his friends at school. Fake sentimental. It was not important.
And it stressed him out.
The quiet scared him, it was only another chance for thoughts to overwhelm him again. Like it did earlier. He almost gave himself away in front of Setsuna; gave himself away in front of Midoriya. If he wasn't careful, more people would know. Then the heroes would get involved and God knows where Kaminari would be put into.
And maybe that's the draw. When the music starts, don't stop dancing until it's over. Maybe he wanted to give himself away as the culprit so he could stop lying to the people he cared about. Kirishima was right- in a way.
He sat on the couch, holding his head in his hands. Kirishima was serious. But Kirishima isn't trusted when it comes to these sort of things.
Kaminari can't think straight anymore. He feels sick to his stomach.
Kaminari snapped out of it, holding his arms across his stomach as he felt nauseous. He looked to Kirishima, a desperate expression on his face that melted into his eyes.
He can't do that. He can't be a coward after threatening someone. He turned away, ignoring him.
But it hurt him.
His heart dropped as he looked away. He almost felt sorry for him, but it's just morals
His body relaxed. The awkward silence filled the room.
"Was... was it on your own terms?"
He kept staring out the window, one hand through his hair that was now messy, and the other across his stomach.
Stay calm, Denki. Breathe.
"What do you mean?" He swallowed. His thoughts are out of order again. He can't focus again.
He didn't know if he was acting like he always did. Kaminari was a liar. Don't let that out of your thoughts. He asked again.
"Was it on your own terms."
This time he said it in strength, in a monotone voice.
"Answer that. Just that, and we'll never have to talk"
It hurt to say, but he said it.
Kaminari's heart stopped. He knows that he called Kirishima out, he knows he used more volts on him than he usually did and scarred him, but the thought of losing Kirishima hurt him badly.
"It wasn't on my own terms. Do you think I'm that dumb?" His voice cracked at the end of his sentence, and he had to hold a hand to his mouth in an attempt to muffle it.
He breathed in.
"I'm not that bad. I'm not that bad."
Exhale.
He heard his breath. Kaminari is controlling himself. He did it awfully well. Kirishima underestimated him. Everyone did.
"...I see."
He looked at the bandages.
"The scars you gave me... They were on your own terms."
He rubbed his arm that was still sore, "It was." He concluded, trying to see if he was trying to state it to himself to make him believe it, or if he wanted Kaminari to know what he did again. He felt like he was scolding a child.
They are both children. His expression grew more grim.
"You pressured me. What was I supposed to do?"
He curled up on the couch even more, his body hunched over. He didn't want to look at the scars. He knew what he did, and it felt bad.
"Kirishima, I'm basically quirkless against you. You would've beaten me in seconds if I didn't do anything. I-"
"I did what I thought was right."
He was disgusted by his answer.
"We both know you could kill me."
He faced the stairs, "Did it have to be that many volts? Were you trying to kill me?"
He asked questions that had been piling up in his mind, "God doesn't play dice, Kaminari."
He sat up in the dorm room's living room, now turning to Kirishima with a confused and provoked look.
"I can't control the amount I discharge without my hero costume! I did what I had to!"
Kaminari gestured outside where they were earlier.
"Did you not want me to fight back?"
He frowned, "Who ever said I wanted to fight? Who ever said I liked fighting?"
He grasped his stomach, "And who said we were ever friends?"
He didn't like the words he was saying, but he needed a reaction.
"Who ever said that I even liked you?"
He was disgusted by himself. Disgusted at Kaminari's responses. Disgusted at the people who didn't believe him.
Kaminari's breath hitched, his eyes watering. They were friends. Past tense- were. He doesn't know why it hurts so badly.
He put a hand towards his chest and held the fabric tightly as he yelled back.
"I know you don't like me!"
He bit hard on his lip, trying to prevent himself from crying. He couldn't be mad at Kirishima. If the tables were turned, Kaminari would have treated him the same way.
"It was all because you brought up that stupid thing today! I thought we were over it! You said sorry! I said sorry! Did that mean absolutely nothing?"
He sputtered it out quickly, his head swimming as he spoke. Too many things were going on at once. He knows that even though he forgave him, it didn't stop his secret.
He was shocked, but still kept his grim face on. "I thought we weren't really friends." He scoffed, "I thought you would do anything to get your way."
"But here you are now. Crying." He walked up to him and pressed his shoulder, just like last time.
"You know I don't like you. I apologized?" He pushed his shoulder.
"I would never be genuine."
He paused.
What am I even saying?!
He pulled his hand off, and looked at his tear filled face.
"How pitiful."
He broke away from his face and onto the clock.
He stopped, staring down at the ground as Kirishima talked. He pulled on his pant leg, the fabric scrunched between his fingers.
He was speechless, for the most part. If anything, it was the most Kaminari thing he had done in a while today. He was clueless. He felt stupid. He felt incompetent.
He hated himself.
"If I do get caught, I'm going to hit hard. I'm going to hit you all back hard."
He was threatening the class. He didn't want to. He wasn't thinking straight.
"Kirishima, there's only one thing we have in common, neither of us will be missed."
He smiled.
"Maybe.. But when you hit back. I'll have my way, and when I'm gone, I'll still have won this game."
He looked at him.
"Times ticking, it doesn't wait for anyone."
"No more fooling around with cards, when you come back, let's play chess"
"When I come back?"
He squinted, his leg started to bounce slowly before increasing to a rapid speed. The dorm living room suddenly started to feel a lot colder to him.
"Where are they going to put me if they find out?"
"Well I'll let you figure that one out."
He could feel the heat picking up.
"Get some sleep. We don't want people being suspicious, okay?"
He crossed his arms, insecure and nervous. He's still Kaminari. He wasn't a traitor until a couple months ago. He's still the same person that they were growing up with. Did that change anything?
He looked down before nodding slightly.
"Yeah. Sleep. I know."
He looked to Kirishima's bandages. He wanted to say sorry, but the damage was already done.
In scars and in relationships.
He looked at Kaminari with a bitter look.
"Get some sleep. I might not like you, but I do care about you."
He walked up the stairs.
Kaminari blinked, nodding half absentmindedly. Kirishima still cares. He still cares and that's important.
Does he value his affiliation or friendships more? Does he turn himself in? Will he get a lesser punishment? He bit his lip.
And he bled.