It feels so surreal, laying here in John's bed with him sleeping soundly beside me. I stare at his adorable resting face, still miles away in the world of his dreams.
I resist the urge to touch him as the memories of last night cloud my head, reigniting that passionate heat within me. It's hard to keep my hands to myself, especially when he looks so gorgeous laying there with his chiseled jawline shining in the daylight. I'm completely enthralled, getting drunk off of his features already as he wearily begins to open his eyes.
"Good morning beautiful." He whispers, his voice husky from sleep.
His mouth curls into a grin, and he leans forward to press his lips on mine, a tender welcome to the new day.
"Good morning John." I sigh into his lips.
We lay on our sides, just staring at each other and giving ourselves time to rest before facing the day.
John crosses his eyes and sticks his tongue out, making a funny face to get me to smile. I release a silly girlish giggle and he crinkles his nose with a satisfied toothy grin.
"Thank ye, Sadie." He says, rubbing his fingers along the soft skin of my arm.
"For what?" I smile.
"Letting me make love to ye." He mutters. "It's been so long."
I move closer to kiss his lips again, closing my eyes to savor the taste of his morning essence. Remnants of last nights cigarettes and tea remain on his luscious tongue. I detach myself and rest my head against his chest.
"Is that true that you haven't made love in a long time?" I ask, raking my nails gently along his spine.
"I'm afraid so." He confirms.
"That has to be bullshit! I bet you have lots of ladies lined up at your door just begging for a shag!" I joke.
"Sure there are birds who want a piece of me, but I'm done with that! I'm tired of meaningless shags. I want to be with a girl that really understands me, y'know?"
"Mmhmm" I reply.
I try to register the words coming out of his mouth. He slept with me last night, does that mean he considers me a girl who really understands him?
As I relax in his precious embrace a sobering thought creeps up to the surface of my mind. Today was my last day in New York. Tomorrow I was to get back on a plane with George to head home, and I wasn't ready for that.
I wasn't ready to face reality. Going home meant I'd have to live in my new normal without George- or John for that matter.
I wished I never had to leave this bed. Here I had no worries. With John I didn't have to sneak around for fear of getting caught by his wife. I didn't have to worry about tearing a family apart, or ruining anything. There was peace and freedom. I never had such a luxury with George.
I couldn't understand how my heart could be so broken, confused, and elated all at the same time.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sadie, it's for you!" John yells with the telephone in his hand.
I walk into the kitchen and he hands it to me. "it's George." He mouths.
"Hello?"
"Sadie hi, I'm just letting you know that a car will be picking you up round 4pm today. Will you be ready?"
"Wait, I thought we weren't leaving until tomorrow?"
"Change of plans, last minute. Everything okay?"
I clench my jaw and close my eyes, trying desperately to hold back tears.
"Fine. I'll be ready."
"Alright, see you then."
I slam the phone onto the hook and fall to the floor, burying my face into my palms to weep.
"Sadie what's the matter?" John asks, crouching down to my level.
"I-I-I have to leave tonight. I don't want to go home! I'm not ready, John! I'm not!" I wail, falling into his welcoming arms and coming undone.
"Sadie, shhhhhh. It's alright." He assures, holding onto me tightly.
"You know you're the only good thing that came out of this trip, John." I cry into his chest.
"Well the feelings mutual, Sadie. I've loved being with ye."
"What am I going to do? I can't...I..." I'm unable to formulate my thoughts correctly, so I just stop talking and focus on breathing, which is getting more and more difficult to do as time passes.
John pushes me off of him softly and holds onto my shoulders looking deep into my eyes.
"Sadie, ye will get through this, Alright? I know it's tough, but ye will. I'm just a call away if ye need me. I'll fly ye back here in a second."
I smile at him and kiss his lips hard, feeling even more hot tears fall from my outer corners.
"You're incredible, John. I mean that!" I hold onto his face, and he places his hand on my wrist.
"You might come off as a rude jerk when you're drunk but John, you've been my saving grace. I'll never forget how special you made me feel these past couple of days."
I open my eyes and see that John is crying too now.
"John?"
"Sadie ye don't understand how much that means to hear ye say that. Yer so kind hearted, never lose that, okay?"
I'm a bawling mess, and I wrap my arms around him and squeeze so tightly I swear he could snap. Our heads rest on one another's shoulders and together we let our tears dampen each other's clothes.
"Feels good to cry, I don't usually do that." John sniffles, removing himself from my embrace to get a handkerchief from his shirt pocket.
"I've done plenty of it this week and it still feels great!" We laugh.
We remain quiet for a few minutes, just staring longingly into each other's eyes.
"You'll keep in touch, yeah?." He smiles at me.
"Of course!"
We laugh some more through the tears and try our best to savor the last few hours we'll have together.
I'm not ready to leave.
~~~~~~~~~
Sorry if this seems a bit rushed, I'll probably edit it more later. I just really wanted to publish it because I was too excited lol