Rayna caught up with me during our lunch time. She pulled me to the table with her gang. I smiled at them politely and answered their questions obediently.
“How was your first day?” asked Mia.
“Fine.”
“Did you meet any new friends?” Jeremy asked.
“Yup, some of the kids here are really friendly.”
Rayna interrupted and asked, “Alexa, there’s cheerleading tryouts today, right?”
Alexa’s face lit up as if she had forgotten, “Yes! Oh my god, Rayna you have to try out!”
Rayna grinned and said, “No worries! I will!”
“Hey, Savannah should try out,” Jeremy interrupted.
My eyes widened, “Guys, I told you I suck!”
“You never fully know unless you try!” Rayna encouraged me.
Alexa’s face had agenda written all over it. She slurred, “Yeah, Savannah, you should totally try out.” She wanted me to fail. Her face had motive written all over it.
Desperately, I whispered to Rayna, “I’m having my period.”
Rayna looked like she got caught off guard, “Don’t worry, I’ve got some tampons.”
Alexa stood up as she finished with her lunch, “Tryouts are at 5. Don’t be late!”
I stared at my food, suddenly losing my appetite.
Rayna dragged me to the gym. I tried to make it as obvious as possible that I just didn’t want to try out, but either Rayna was too blur to notice or she just wanted me to accompany her in tryouts.
Rayna dragged me into the gym. There was a clear apartheid in the gym; one side filled with guys, the other with girls. The guys were having basketball training. Max and Jeremy gave Rayna and me a wave. Rayna dragged me to the girls’ side and the combined smiles gave me a slight headache.
Alexa stood on a chair with Mia by her side. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail and finished with a huge bow. Her uniformed revealed a flat tummy and muscular but petite long legs.
“Start stretching guys! Mia and I will be leading you through!” Alexa yelled. Everyone started swinging their arms, doing lunges and cracking their necks. As the warm up progressed, we finally moved to the flexibility section of stretching.
“Right front splits first. Go as low as you possibly can,” Mia said plopping into a perfect split. I tried to stay around the same height as Rayna. Rayna grunted and was struggling. I tried to imitate her best I could.
Alexa was walking around, evaluating everyone. I wasn’t here to make the team anyways. As Alexa walked towards Rayna and I, she said encouragingly, “Ray, come on! Just push a little!”
Rayna’s face turned reddish, “Ah my legs!”
Alexa turned to me and snarled, “Is that really the best you can do?”
I shrugged. Alexa walked away, and I looked back down trying to concentrate to hold my incomplete split.
Alexa shocked me from behind, pushing me down into a full split.
“Ow!” I yelled.
“Why are you faking being bad? Or are you just really that bad?” Alexa snarled, walking away. I hear cheers in the background, I was assuming that was the guys.
Rayna’s eyes widened, “Whoa, Savannah you’re really flexible!”
I ignored Rayna. I thought I couldn’t handle Alexa and her bitchiness, it made me want to scream; like a little girl. I wasn’t going to do that. The only think I could think of was exploding. My head was spinning, I was angry.
I grabbed the chair Alexa was previously standing on and plopped my back foot on it, doing a full split and stretching.
Alexa’s mouth was left agape, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Mia gasped in surprise and skipped to me, “Oh my God Savannah, are you like some sort of cheerleading champion or something?”
I laughed. Me? A cheerleader? That was a joke.
I stood up, “Nope. I’ve never done cheerleading in my life.”
“Your bones are rubber! Alexa, we’ve got to keep an eye on this one right here!” Mia exclaimed gleefully.
Alexa didn’t look pleased. In fact, she looked furious. Her plan was to get me here and humiliate me in front of half the school. The tables have changed now. It was amazing that I controlled what happened. It was amazing, and I didn’t care that I was about to kill my shot at a clean slate here at JBA.
They taught us a simple routine. I loved doing the floor exercise in gymnastics, so cheerleading just had more dance, less tumbling and girls flying, I guess. I caught on fast and practised it a few times with Rayna.
“Just relax!” I scolded her.
“Wasn’t it you who was dreading these tryouts?” She groaned.
I laughed, “Come on, one more time before we have to show Alexa.”
When it was our turn, Alexa kept shouting and yelling at me in between our routine. Whether it was tensing my arms or not going too fast, she always had something to bark at me.
“Anyone without any tumbling experience, please step this side!” Mia waved her hand in the air.
“I don’t even think I can do a cartwheel anymore,” Rayna said glumly.
I patted her back and followed her that side. I’d rather Mia boss me around than Alexa.
Mia frowned, “Savannah, if you can do more than a 180 degrees split; surely you can do a simple cartwheel.”
“I can’t,” I pouted. Flexibility didn’t have much to do with tumbling.
Alexa marched in front of me, “Prove it. Do a simple cartwheel.”
I shook my head, “I can’t!”
She glared at me, “No one’s buying this shit. Just do the freaking cartwheel.”
I gave up. I shrugged, “Is this a simple cartwheel?”
I walked to a clear runway, aware that everyone’s eyes were on me. I did a round-off, back handspring and double Arabian pike position.
I heard the guys cheering when I striked the finishing pose.
Alexa’s jaw dropped. Mia clapped gleefully.
Alexa yelled, “You lied! You said you’ve never cheered before!”
I grinned, “I’m not a cheerleader. I’m a former All-Around World Champion Gymnast.”
I skipped to the exit of the gym, jumping and doing a straddle and split jump, waving goodbye.
That ought to give a whole new perspective on myself to everyone. Goodbye clean slate. Gymnastics, this isn’t goodbye just yet. I was glad I did it, but I knew the consequences, and the more I thought about the consequences, the more I regretted pulling something like that. The consequences from my mum, those brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know how long I ran for, but I finally found a bench nearby and just collapsed into it.
I could hear Max and Jeremy’s voice echoing my name from a distance. I slid behind the bench, hoping I’d camouflage with the bushes.
Jeremy plopped himself next to me, “Your big secret finally unravelled huh.”
“It wasn’t supposed to,” I muttered, punching myself in the face in my head.
“Why are you here?” He asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re obviously pro at whatever it is you do, why come here?”
I sighed, “I peaked at the World Championships last year, where I won the most honourable gold medal of the meet; the All-Around Champion. This year, at the US Olympic trials, I choked. I fell off the uneven bars and the beam.”
“Maybe you just had a bad competition,” he offered.
I smiled. Jeremy was sweet. I sighed, “My mom never really liked me doing gymnastics. She told me that if I didn’t make the 2012 London cut, I had to retire and live a normal life.”
“How are you so sure you peaked last year? Maybe you’ll peak again in 2016 for Rio,” he smiled.
“Female gymnasts peak young. I’ll be too old by then,” I shrugged.
“You can’t let go, can you?”
I shook my head and buried my face in my palms miserably.
“I feel like observing this girl who looks like me, but isn’t me. This isn’t me. I’m not a student, I’ve never been one!”
“Do you still want to continue gymnastics?”
“I don’t know anymore... All my life that was the one thing I knew and did. I lived, breathed, eat and slept gymnastics.”
Jeremy put his arm around me. I immediately felt awkward and wanted to push him off. He said, “Maybe your mom is right.”
I got up and retorted, “What do you mean?”
“If it was the only thing you’ve done, maybe that’s why you’re so comfortable doing it. It’s safe for you,” he suggested.
My jaw dropped, “I’ll have you know that gymnastics is crazy dangerous!”
He exhaled sharply, stood up and grabbed me by my arms, “I’m not suggesting it is physically safe. You’re used to being a gymnast. That’s all you know. Your mom just wants you to be normal.”
“Normal? So what being a gymnast makes me a freaking circus clown?!” I yelled and ran off.
I heard Jeremy yelling my name, he sounded like he was chasing me. After awhile, the yelling and the running stopped. He knew I needed space.
I slammed the room to my dorm, sank down on the floor and bawled my eyes out.