"Karlie, there's a letter for you," Tracy Kloss said when she spotted Karlie sitting on the couch in the den.
"For me?" Karlie asked confused. Who would send her mail here?
"Yeah, it's from California."
Karlie immediately ripped the envelope open.
"Taylor," she sighed with a smile on her face. Tracy left the room, thinking about how she had never seen her daughter this in love.
'My dearest Karlie,
Where do I start? I'm not sure. I feel like there's so much I have to apologize for. And I know that you just rolled your eyes at the sentence. I know you don't think I have anything to apologize for, but Kar I do. I know you'd just say, "It's fine" and we'd move on. But it's not fine. While we were together I had this recurring dream. At first it only came when I was asleep but as I slept less the dream appeared whenever I zoned out. In the dream I took a surfboard and went into the ocean. It was nighttime and there was a storm. With every time I had this dream, the storm got worse, but you know what? You came to save me from drowning every time. You saved me. Now I feel like that dream, or rather this nightmare was a pretty accurate reflection of what was going on inside of me. I was going through a really tough time by myself but you came to rescue me. Recently I came to realize though, it's not fair of me to expect you to come and save me. I realized you can't save me. Don't get me wrong here, I love you Karlie Elizabeth Kloss with all of my heart and I know that you love me too. If love was really all we needed, we would've been so happy together. But it's not. The only person who can save me is me. I know that now. And I promise you, I'll work on myself, I'll take all the time I need to heal and to become a better person. And Karlie, I know that this process is going to take a lot of time. And I don't expect you to wait around for me. I would never want to keep you from anything in your life. You deserve all the happiness and all the good things this world has to offer. I don't want you to waste your precious time on this planet on waiting for me. So I'm setting you free.
With all my love,
Taylor.'
By the end of the letter Karlie's smile had turned into tears. Had Taylor given up on them?
One month later
"Taylor Swift?"
Taylor perked up at her name getting called during the weekly mail call. Who would send her mail? She stood up and walked over to the postman. "Here you go," he said as he handed her a small package.
"Thank you," Taylor said, still surprised. She scanned the package for the address of the sender.
Lily.
Disappointment settled in her gut. She had the irrational hope that Karlie had send her something. But why would she? Taylor had set her free. Maybe Taylor just wanted Karlie to fight for her a little. Maybe she had hoped the model wouldn't give up so easily. Taylor walked to her room, the package in hand. She ripped it open and came face-to-face with a small scrapbook and a letter. She decided to read the letter first.
'Dear Taylor,
We all miss you so much!! I got together with Gigi, Ed, Martha, Emma and Karlie last night. We made dinner together but we all couldn't get over the fact that you weren't with us. Remember how we'd FaceTime you whenever we met up while you were on tour? Or how we'd FaceTime Emma when she was on set? It's just not the same when one of us isn't there.
So we made a scrapbook for you (Dixie helped too, that kid misses you like crazy). We put our favorite pictures of you and our endless cooking, baking, wine drinking, gossiping sessions in there. We all hope it makes you feel better. We miss you and we can't wait for you to come home. You mean the world to us all.
Love,
Lily, Karlie, Gigi, Ed, Emma, Martha'
Taylor put down the letter with tears in her eyes. She picked up the scrapbook. She opened the first page and let out a teary laugh. She came face-to-face with an old Polaroid of their first hangout 'January, 23rd 2014 Funniest. Hangout. Ever.'. Taylor marveled at how young they all looked. Time passed by so fast.
She looked at picture after picture. Karlie had even put some pictures of their road trip in there. Taylor found herself staring at Karlie's face much longer than the others. She missed her. She missed her more than she liked to admit.
She found pictures of the first show she had played with Ed. Lily's first fashion show she had attended. The first time she had played the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. It was all there. All the milestones they had celebrated together. All the fun nights they had had together. All the crazy things they had done together.
By the end of the book she was completely overwhelmed. She felt so loved. Yet so alone. She wanted to go home. But she couldn't until she got better.
One month later
"How come you're treating me to two nights of Broadway musicals in a row?" Kariann asked, suspicion in her voice.
"You've always talked about musicals. I mean you know the 'Hamilton' cast recording by heart, even the rap parts. I thought that it was finally time for you to see the actual show. And Taylor once said that 'Dear Evan Hansen' is awesome, too. So I thought, why not?"
"Oh Taylor said," Kariann laughed. "I see where your sudden love for Broadway is coming from."
"Shut up," Karlie said as she threw a pillow at her younger sister.
"Speaking of Taylor, how's the mission 'getting your girlfriend back' going?"
"I still have to come up with some grand romantic gesture. It's what Taylor deserves after everything. I want her to see how serious I am about us and how ready I am to be with her no matter how complicated it might get."
"Why would Taylor not want to be with you?"
"She doesn't wanna drag me into her life, basically. She doesn't want the paparazzi to be following my every step, she doesn't want shitty articles written about me, she doesn't want me to get hate on the internet. She wants to keep me save and she wants me to have a life as normal as possible. To add to that, she's also convinced she's not good enough for me."
"Then just tell her she's wrong," Kariann grinned. She didn't get why Karlie was making such a big deal out of this. From where she was standing things appeared to be so easy, so simple. Karlie loved Taylor and Taylor loved Karlie. Wasn't that what relationships were all about at the end of the day?
"You know, I actually know what I want to tell her but Kari, she's the writer in this relationship. She's so good with words. She always knows the right thing to say. I don't. You know those situations where in the moment your tongue is tied and have absolutely no idea how to react, what to say but then when you're alone a little while later you're like, 'Damn, I should've said that'? That's exactly what happens when I try to tell Taylor how serious I am about us, when I try to tell her I don't care about what happened and that I love and support her no matter what," Karlie sighed.
"Okay, so basically what you need her to understand is that you love her, despite everything she is going through and that this is between the two of you and no one else. What the rest of the world says about you two, what would change for you doesn't matter. This is between you and Taylor."
"It's only us," Karlie grinned. She finally had an idea. She was going to get Taylor back.
One month later
Karlie was coming to see her. She would finally see Karlie again. After months she'd finally see her again. Taylor was beyond excited. She had woken up way earlier than normal. She had been hyperactive during her therapy session. Her therapist giving her a clean bill of health didn't help her excitement. Now she was pacing around the garden of the rehab facility. The sun was shining in her face. Life was good. Life was more than good. Life was as close to perfect as it could get.
Taylor checked the watch on her wrist. She needed time to pass by faster. She wanted Karlie. That was the conclusion she had come to in her endless therapy sessions. She was ready to fight. She was ready to face the world. She was ready.
Over the past few months she had learned a lot about herself. She faced her fears, her insecurities, every feeling she had buried deep inside. She had written a letter to her mother and to her father, telling them how she felt. How they had made her feel. She had a long phone conversation with her mother afterwards where they finally talked about everything that had gone wrong since Taylor's childhood. Their relationship wasn't the same anymore. It had gotten some cracks once Taylor opened her mouth but they wanted to work on it.
Taylor had talked to her friends on the phone, too. She had explained her situation as well as she could and was surprised to find out that they all understood her better than she ever expected them to.
The only person she hadn't reached out to was Karlie.
"Taylor, your guest is here," a nurse said from the doorway.
Taylor followed the nurse to the visiting room, a new spring in her step. She felt light. She felt happy. She felt good.
When the door opened, Karlie immediately looked up and her breath got caught in her throat. Taylor looked absolutely gorgeous. She looked healthier. She had gained some weight. She didn't look fragile anymore. She looked good. And most of all she looked happy. Genuinely happy. Taylor was dressed in black running tights and an oversized t-shirt. She wasn't wearing any make up, she hadn't straightened her hair. It was the best she had ever looked.
Karlie's heart started beating faster. This felt like she was 18 years old again and she came to pick her crush up for Prom. This felt like a fresh start. Their eyes locked across the room. Taylor started walking in her direction. Karlie got up from her seat and met her in the middle. She wrapped Taylor in a long, tight hug. They had missed each other more than words could say.
"Hey," Taylor smiled once they had parted.
"Hey," Karlie replied.
"You have no idea how much I missed you," Taylor sighed.
"You have no idea how much I missed you too," Karlie grinned. She took Taylor's hand and led her to the table she'd been sitting at. The small smile that crossed Taylor's face when they interlocked their fingers didn't go past Karlie. She loved the feeling of holding Taylor's hand again.
"Part of me can't believe you actually came," Taylor admitted as they sat down.
"Why?"
"Because I set you free, Kar. I wrote you an entire letter, telling you to live your own life, not waiting on me. Yet, here you are."
"I used our time apart, Tay. Don't worry I wasn't just sitting next to the phone waiting on you. I fixed things with my family, I explained things to Josh, I spent a lot of time with our friends. I took care of myself, too," Karlie said.
"I'm glad to hear that."
"How are you doing? You look amazing," Karlie complimented.
"I talked a lot to my therapist, I worked out, wrote some poems and songs, I talked to my mom, I told our friends what's going on. And now I'm doing better than ever. I never thought I would make it this far," Taylor beamed.
"I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you."
"Remember when we drove to Big Sur?" Karlie asked.
"That's a rhetorical question, right?" Taylor laughed.
"Do you remember when you said you wanted life to be like a musical sometimes? That you wanted people to just randomly break into a song more often?" Karlie asked.
"Yeah," Taylor laughed. "I can't believe you remember that!"
"I remember everything that has to do with you, Tay."
Taylor blushed at that. "You're crazy."
"For you, yes," Karlie grinned, which made Taylor laugh. Oh how much Karlie had missed that sound. "Anyway, I went to see a show on Broadway, Dear Evan Hansen and one song reminded me of us and it says exactly the things that I wanna tell you but don't know how."
"I love that show," Taylor exclaimed.
"So you'll sing it with me?" Karlie nervously asked.
"Sure."
"I revived my piano skills for this," Karlie chuckled.
"There's a music room with a piano. We should go there," Taylor suggested.
"Fine by me," Karlie smiled.
Karlie sat down, took a deep breath and put her fingers on the right keys. She knew that she'd never be as good as Taylor. She knew that she couldn't sing as well as Taylor. She knew that she couldn't play as well as Taylor. But she did her best and she knew that was enough. She pressed the first few keys. A smile spread across her face. She was doing this.
"I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you
I don't need you to search for the proof that I should
You don't have to convince me
You don't have to be scared you're not enough
'Cause what we've got going is good," Karlie started singing with a soft smile on her face. She remembered crying when she first heard this song. She was shocked by how perfectly it fit their situation. It felt like a punch in the gut.
"I don't need more reminders of all that's been broken
I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget
Clear the slate and start over
Try to quiet the noises in your head
We can't compete with all that." Taylor smiled as she listened to Karlie singing. She had always loved her voice.
"So what if it's us?
What if it's us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore or matter?
Can we try that?
What if it's you
And what if it's me
And what if that's all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away?
What do you say?" Karlie raised an eyebrow at the question.
Taylor grinned as picked up a guitar and began singing her part. "I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me.
So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go
But if you really see me
If you like me for me and nothing else
Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know," Taylor got lost in the song as she sang the words to Karlie while playing the guitar.
"So it can be us
It can be us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore or matter
We can try that," as she sang those words, Taylor knew it was true. It could be them. She could be with Karlie. She was ready.
"It's not so impossible," they both sang with matching grins.
"Nobody else but the two of us here," Taylor sang.
"Cause you're saying it's possible," they sang together.
"We can just watch the whole world disappear," Karlie grinned.
"Til you're the only one
I still know how to see," they sang together again.
"It's just you and me," Taylor sang.
"It'll be us
It'll be us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore," Karlie smiled and she knew it was true. Nothing that had happened mattered anymore. This was their fresh start.
"We can try that
You and me
That's all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away
And the rest of the world falls away
The world falls away
The world falls away
And it's only us," they finished the song together and Taylor leaned in to kiss Karlie for the first time in months. "It's just you and me," she whispered as they broke apart.
"Only us," Karlie agreed.
The End