"So are you moving into Joan's house too?" Ruth asked one afternoon in August when Lauren came home to get a change of clothes.
Most of Lauren's things were at Joan's house, but they were in the wash, and she was going out to dinner with Joan, Wren, Henry, and a few of his friends that Lauren had grown to like. He was always throwing impromptu parties now aided by his co-host Wren, and Lauren was in the thick of it these days. She felt she could be herself among their diverse group of friends. She considered most of them her friends now, and they were better friends to her than Hope and most of the girl's at her church had ever been.
"I still live here," Lauren said with a forced smile as she sat on her bed and packed a few things in her backpack while Ruth leaned against the door frame. She hadn't knocked as usual. "I'm just enjoying my summer. You should try it sometime."
"... I'm enjoying my summer."
"You stayed inside all day and read," Lauren said with a laugh. "It's almost over, and you never did anything, but go to the library."
"God forbid I educate myself."
"Hey, I love to read. Joan even has her own library so I'm reading a lot more these days, but it's summer, Ruth," Lauren said. "Get out and do something! You never even swim in the pool, and it's just outside the back door."
"Yeah..." Ruth said slowly. "I am a little depressed, I guess. There is the whole Wren situation, and you're never around now. Plus I miss Alex as much as it pains me to admit."
"You do?" Lauren asked, and she felt ill thinking about Ruth reconciling with him.
"I think I miss having a boyfriend more than anything else," Ruth said. "I don't miss the way Alex treated me a lot of the time, but we had fun sometimes. I miss having someone, you know? I hate being single."
Ruth looked wistful as she watched Lauren zip up the backpack. "So do you miss having a boyfriend?"
"Well... no," Lauren said slowly. "Sometimes I get sad that I don't speak to Jake any longer, but it's nice not to have that burden on my shoulders any longer."
"He was a burden?"
"After a while he was," Lauren said, "but not because anything he did. I don't think I loved him as much as he loved me. Pretending you feel that way about someone is definitely a burden."
"That's what I was doing, I think."
"So why don't you go out with the girls, and you can meet some guys?" Lauren asked. "I know there are a lot of nice guys in this town, and ones that are probably thrilled to hear you're free this summer. Remember Michael from high school? Didn't he used to write you poems?"
"He did," Ruth said, and her lips slowly grew into a smile. "I still have a few of them. Alex would get so jealous when I talked about Michael. I have to admit that's why I would bring him up. Michael was sweet though. Remember when we all went to Six Flags together? He held my hand on that one roller coaster you guys dared me to ride."
"He's back for the summer from NYU," Lauren said. "I saw him the other day at the Dairy Queen which is why I brought him up. He's back doing his old shift there."
"Oh my goodness!" Ruth laughed. "He's working there again? He used to give us so much free ice-cream. I'm surprised he didn't get in trouble for it."
"Well, his uncle owns it so I don't think that was an issue," Lauren reminded her as they laughed together, and she thought how nice it was to have a normal conversation with her sister for once. "You should go say hi sometime. He asked about you, and I said you were doing okay."
"... What did he say?"
"He said 'good' and that was about it."
"You really are a brilliant conversationalist," Ruth said with a sigh.
"Hey, it isn't my fault you like boring guys," Lauren said as she grinned. "Really though I have to go. I'm going to dinner with Joan, and some of her friends."
"Mind if I tag along?" Ruth asked after a moment. "I am pretty bored here."
"I don't know..." Lauren admitted. "Wren is going to be there with Henry."
"I don't mind seeing Wren," Ruth said although she openly flinched at the name.
"What do you have against her?" Lauren asked suddenly. "She's twenty years old. It isn't that insane that she's living with her boyfriend."
"She isn't married Lauren," Ruth said after a moment. "I know it's college, and there are a lot of temptations, but that doesn't mean it's right just because it's normal among the people you're hanging out with now. It isn't for us. That isn't the why we were raised. I know some of Henry's friends too. He doesn't hang out with the best people."
"If you think they're so terrible I don't think I want you at dinner with us," Lauren said calmly although she wanted to smack Ruth across the face. "Do you think Joan's a horrible person too, or is she okay?"
"Joan has some issues," Ruth said with a shrug, "but I think you're a good influence on her."
"You sound like Dad," Lauren said with a disgusted scoff. "I'm not Joan's friend to be a good influence. I'm her friend because I care about her, and I like her friendship. You know, you should stop being so judgmental all the time so then you might not have to sit in your living room all day."
Ruth turned. "I have plenty of friends, thanks! It's just some of them are acting like totally different people these days, and it's disturbing to me."
"Go hang out with the girls from church then," Lauren said. "And stop trying to tag along with my friends who you don't think are good people."
"I didn't say that!" Ruth objected.
"You basically did," Lauren said as she tried to control her anger and not yell even though she wanted to. "
"Maybe it's harsh," Ruth said, "but you know it's true. Monroe, Hope and I feel like we barely know you these days. Are you going to be following in Wren's footsteps?"
"I'd rather follow her than become anything like you," Lauren said as she picked up her purse. "Oh, and I'd warn Monroe that her boyfriend was over-heard at a party the other night telling a group of his frat buddies that his girlfriend gives great blow jobs."
Lauren didn't hear Ruth's reply as she slammed out the door, and she set off for her car. Ruth followed her outside, but Lauren ignored her sister's shouts as she drove down the street and towards the restaurant where Joan, Henry, and Wren were already waiting for her.
Henry was putting straws up his nose as he always did, and she noticed his hair was purple now. He and Wren were doing hair color experiments. Wren's hair was a very unattractive shade of gray with some bits of pink. She seemed to like it although Joan said she always thought a weird little lady was in her kitchen in the mornings before she remembered it was only Wren.
"I ordered for you," Joan said as Lauren sat down.
"Oh, you guys are going to be one of those couples," Henry said with clear distaste.
"I know what she picks at all the restaurants in this city," Joan objected. "It isn't a big deal."
"It isn't, but maybe she wanted to try something else," Henry said. "Ever think of that?"
"No, she doesn't," Joan said impatiently while Lauren and Wren laughed. They loved when Henry and Joan got into one of their arguments. "She picks the same thing every time. She's very boring."
"That's a mean thing to say!" Henry said with a gasp. "I take offense to this. Great offense, I say! Don't worry, Ginger. I'll stand up for your honor."
"I appreciate that, but she's right," Lauren said, and she was smiling although she was still fuming inside from her fight with Ruth. "I do always get the same thing. I'm boring. We cook enough weird recipes. I need some normalcy sometimes, and the lemon chicken here is my favorite anyway. That is what you ordered me, right?"
"Of course I did," Joan said smugly, and she stuck her tongue out at Henry.
"Not right now as I'm eating, but maybe later," Henry told her, and he took a big bite out of a bread stick as Wren laughed at them.
Lauren's temper started to cool as she sat with her friends, and she listened to their mostly inane conversations. Henry told stories about his day at work, Joan and Wren had an argument about a character on some soap opera they liked to watch together in the afternoons, and they all talked about the upcoming school year. Henry told them all about volunteering at the local soup kitchen which he just started doing, and he wanted them to consider helping out too.
The thought of Ruth calling him and his friends trashy made tears come to Lauren's eyes. Henry was such a sweet person, and his friends were all so accepting and fun. Sometimes it made her mind whirl as she realized how little of the world she'd known before. It was as if she were sleeping before, and now she was awake. She couldn't remember feeling strongly about anything at all before.
She loved her friends and her family, but she had being going through life unconscious. It was just day to day, and focusing on the trivial and waiting for life to start. And then there was Joan.
"Do you want to go see Brent's band play or not?" Joan asked after dinner as they walked out into the hot summer night towards the van while Henry and Wren skipped along ahead of them.
"He has a band?" Lauren asked.
"Well, sort of," Joan said. "They're really just three guys who play together. The group members are always changing because Brent is such a dick."
"He seemed nice to me."
"That's because he wanted to get in your pants."
"He knows I'm with you though! Well, he's seen me kissing you anyway."
"Oh, he knows, but he doesn't care. He's like that."
"Nice," Lauren said with a smirk.
"He's okay for the most part, but he's impossible to be around after a short period of time," Joan explained. "We only put up with him because his Dad owns the club where he plays. It's that shitty little place down the street Lang's. I'm sure you've seen it before."
"Is it the one with the really old movie marque?" Lauren wondered.
"That's it," Joan said. "So do you want to go? There are some other bands playing that I'm sure will be much better than Brent."
"Sounds fun," Lauren said as she looped arms with Joan. "My Dad would kill me if he knew I was going there. He was always full of stories about the bad things that go on there apparently. Our preacher used to organize groups to go hand out pamphlets and witness to the kids there. I actually went one time, but I didn't go inside and instead stood outside in the cold with my arms across my chest. I was so freaked out by all the Goth kids that were there for some horrible band that just seemed to be a lot of screaming and insane drumming."
Joan threw her head back and laughed. "Wouldn't it be funny if I passed you that night? I used to go see shitty bands there all the time."
"Let's just hope no one from my church is there tonight," Lauren said as they started down the sidewalk.
The club was packed, and they almost didn't get in, but Henry called Brent on his cell phone, and he came to the front door to personally tell the bouncer it was okay. Lauren tried not to get annoyed as Brent hugged her, and he playfully refused to let go. Joan threatened him with bodily harm though, and Brent let her go.
Lauren had never heard of the band on stage, but the crowd went crazy as they started to play. Lauren was sitting on Joan's lap, and her hand was sliding up and down Lauren's thigh as they sat around, and they tried to talk, but it was no use. The music was too loud so Lauren decided to save her voice. She sat back, and she enjoyed being held by Joan. It felt so daring and free to be affectionate with Joan in public. She couldn't see anyone she knew, but it was still dangerous.
"Do you want to dance?" Joan asked between bands as they played some softer rock songs.
"Sure!" Lauren said, and Joan led her out onto the dance floor.
"You look so sexy in that white skirt," Joan said as she put her hands on Lauren's hips as they found a spot on the crowded floor of the club by the stage. There were surrounded by couples dancing; gay and straight.
"It's the one I wore on Valentine's Day. Do you remember?"
"Of course I do!" Joan laughed. "It's the first time I got to second base."
"Actually you almost scored that afternoon," Lauren corrected her, and they burst out laughing.
"I mean it," Lauren said as Joan brought her closer.
"I believe you," Joan said with a smile, and kissed Lauren on the lips.
They made out for a while, and Lauren was inwardly stunned for a moment at how daring she was being, and then she lost herself as the music blared in their ears as they kissed. They weren't the only couple who were making out on the floor so they didn't stand out, but it was still the craziest thing Lauren had ever done in view of other people.
"If someone saw us..." Joan said as they ended their kiss, and laughed at the stunned look on the others face.
"God, I know," Lauren said. "You would think the whole van incident would have taught us a lesson."
"That semi-public making out is really fun?"
"That and we shouldn't," Lauren said laughing. "Hey, how about we get out of here? My ears really hurt."
"We've only been here for an hour!"
"I know, but my ears are bleeding!"
"You just want to get me alone," Joan said with a teasing smile. "Okay, we can go. Let's tell Henry, and Wren though so they don't worry."
They told Henry, and Wren they were leaving, but they were too busy making out at the table to take much notice. Laughing; Joan, and Lauren made their way out of the club and back into the night.