You couldn't be sure what time it was when you next woke up.
You knew that it had been afternoon when you were last awake, but as you stared out the windows, only darkness could be seen. Early in the morning or late at night, you concluded, after a moment of thinking.
Either way, a decent amount of time had passed. Saeyoung, still next to you, was in different clothes and his hair was washed, the fiery red now tamed and combed neatly. "Saeyoung?" You asked, using your voice to stir him from his slumber rather than your body, too afraid to move and bring forth a new wave of pain.
His eyes scrunched up and then opened, surprised. "You're awake?"
He sat in the bed and helped you into a sitting position, bringing a gentle hand to your cheek as if you were going to break at any second. "How do you feel, (Y/N)?" He picked up a glass of water and brought it to your lips. "Are you ready? The doctor is already here. We had him explain everything to Vanderwood so you don't need to worry about protecting your identity. We'll have the doctor on standby in case something goes wrong, but for the most part, Vanderwood will administer the-"
"My identity? Why would my identity need to be protected?" You asked.
Saeyoung looked away. "Let's talk about that when the Elixir is out of your system. We still don't know what it's doing to your mind."
The redhead extended an arm toward you, and you took it, allowing him to guide you toward a room you had never been in—Vanderwood's.
You poked your head in, surprised. The sheets had been changed and a tarp had been placed over the floor, the entire room converted into a makeshift hospital. There were several large pieces of equipment, and Vanderwood stood in the middle of it all, his hair pulled back into a low ponytail and his hands gloved. He pulled a surgical mask over his face. "Sit on the bed," He instructed.
You hesitated.
The only time you'd even come close to being in a hospital was when your orphanage had handed you off to a pediatrician's clinic for a week, and the worst of the machinery there was the needles they used to draw blood.
"What are you going to do?" You asked, not moving from your place.
"We'll filter the Elixir out of your blood. It's a pretty simple process...your blood goes into the machine and back into you. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. The doctor didn't give us any anesthetic, though, so..." Vanderwood nodded toward Saeyoung. "You should stay here with her, Lucie- erm, Saeyoung. This might hurt."
The redhead nodded, gently pushing you toward the bed, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead when you'd finally laid down on it. Knowing that he'd be with you the whole time made you feel a little better. Surprisingly, the fact that there would be no anesthetic didn't scare you much. After your primary and secondary commitments, and then having the Elixir directly in your bloodstream, you had built your tolerance for pain up. When Vanderwood made the first cuts into your skin, you barely felt the scalpel as it pierced your skin.
Saeyoung squeezed your hand.
You thought about telling him you were be fine, but then realized that if you did...he'd pull his hand away. In all honesty, the thought of him doing that disturbed you more than the notion of pain, so you kept your lips shut and squeezed his palm back with a small smile.
Interestingly enough, your mental state had stabilized a bit between when you first were injected with the Elixir and now. Originally, the pain was so unbearable you could do little other than groan and shake, but it was as if your body had built grown accustomed to the pain. Is that a good thing, though?
You turned your head away as Vanderwood began pulling back the skin on your arm, easily grossed out by blood.
"Does it hurt?" Saeyoung asked, worry written on his normally relaxed face.
You chuckled. "Not as much as you probably think. I can handle this much." You flashed him a grin, as if that would prove your words, but Saeyoung still looked nervous.
He was about to respond when Vanderwood interrupted the two of you.
"Alright, everything's set up," The brunette took a step back and began removing his surgical gloves. "All we need to do is wait for the machine to filter your blood over the next few hours. Saeyoung, just monitor the numbers on the screen, and if you think something looks even a little wrong, make sure you tell me so that I-"
"I know, Vanderwood," Saeyoung said, chuckling. "I've helped you with medical missions before."
Vanderwood sighed, running a hand through his hair. Even he had his eyebrows scrunched up a little more than usual. You smiled. He cares about me more than he lets on, you realized.
He grumbled in protest, but Saeyoung ushered him out of the room.
"He acts all indifferent about you, but he he has a soft spot for you, ya know?" Saeyoung blurted the second the man was gone.
You grinned, having reached the same conclusion only seconds before. "Yeah," you mused.
"Everyone in your life cares about you, (Y/N). I hope you know that," Saeyoung mumbled, getting serious once more.
You bit your lip.
There were certainly exceptions to that. MC seemed to hate your guts, V (kind as he was) knew about the hostage trade and didn't stop Saeyoung. The Savior obviously resented you, and perhaps worst of all, you still had no news of Saeran.
Would the boy always think you had abandoned him? That you had never cared and that it was all a lie?
You could bear the thought of the others hating you, but no matter what happened...Saeran would always hold a special place in your heart.
"I want..." You began, unsure of how to communicate your desires. "I want to talk to Saeran."
Saeyoung's eyes widened, but you went on before he could say anything.
"You...You said he was here. At the cabin. I've been wanting to speak to him but," You laughed softly, but not in humor. "But I don't think he feels the same. I haven't seen him once since...since getting the injection."
Saeyoung's eyes rounded in surprise. "(Y/N), I promise you, Saeran doesn't feel like that. You've been awake for less than an hour in total over the past two days, so you might not have noticed, but he's checked on you every day. Even when I was with you, he came in and asked about your vitals and if you'd been drinking water and if-"
"Really?"
What Luciel said brought you so much hope.
You'd thought that your relationship with Saeran was unsalvageable. That with all the wrongs you had done against him and all the ways he had wronged you, he'd still be bitter.
For years now, he's been your closest friend, and often the only person to stand by you without fail. The past two months had been disastrous, a special circle in hell crafted just for you, but that didn't change the fact that Saeran and you had a history together.
And you were willing to do as much as was necessary to make sure that your friendship didn't go to waste.
"Should I bring him in?" Saeyoung offered, seeing the new light in your eyes.
You nodded your head and began mentally preparing yourself for what you'd say.
Barely thirty seconds passed before the twins were before you again, and as you stared at the two, you wondered why you hadn't realized earlier that they were related.
Truly two sides to the same coin, they were copies of each other, the only differences being the stark contrast in hair color and eye color.
And the look of horror and pain on Saeran's face as he gazed down at you.
"Saeran, you're..." Saeyoung murmured softly, not willing to complete the sentence that you all knew the answer to.
Crying.
You watched for the first time ever as silent tears ran down Saeran's cheeks. He'd never been this vulnerable in front of you. Never.
"Don't..." Saeran began, the word sounding raw and shaky. "Don't look."
He took a step back, and you thought he was going to leave the room, but he simply hit the light switch and the room darkened. The only light source was the computer monitor which displayed your vitals, something that wouldn't be shut off any time soon.
The sound of sniffling filled the room, and you found yourself at a loss for words.
"(Y/N), I..." Saeran began. "I'm so sorry."
In that moment, you wanted to rip the tube out of your arm and run to the boy, hug him and hold him and cry with him. Instead, you bit your lip
"Saeran..." You said, not sure where to begin. But the boy took your hesitation for anger.
"No, (Y/N), you don't have to say anything. I understand if you never want to see me again. Everything that happened was my fault, if only I could have been stronger, none of this would hav-"
"Saeran." Your eyes widened.
You had been the one who opened your mouth to interrupt, but Saeyoung had beaten you to it.
"Saeran, don't blame yourself," The older twin murmured. You couldn't see it, but you had no doubt that Saeyoung was hugging Saeran. "You were under the Elixir. I saw you. If you had enough in your system to be vomiting blue afterward, then there's no way you can be blamed for what your mind tricked you into doing."
You frowned, surprised by this revelation. "You...you were under the Elixir?"
The boy didn't respond, but his silence was an answer in itself.
You let out a sigh of relief. "How...how long, Saeran?"
You heard Saeyoung nudge him, and Saeran finally responded. "The Savior began giving me higher doses around the same time MC joined the Mint Eye. It doesn't excuse what I've done, (Y/N), I know that, and I'm so..."
You let Saeran ramble for a moment, giving him the opportunity to apologize when he didn't need to.
He was on the Elixir, you thought, the revelation giving you hope. Every time he ignored me and hurt me...it wasn't out of free will. It was all the Elixir.
It was a cruel liquid, the Elixir of Salvation.
The Savior used it for everything. She used it to brainwash disciples who questioned her authority. She used it to convince believers into believing in the magenta. She used it as a test during Primary and Secondary commitment. She used it to torture those she thought deserved punishing.
How many times did she give Saeran the Elixir? You wondered, slowly beginning to understand why he had looked at you with blank eyes so many times. Eyes are windows to the soul. When he cared for you and loved you, you saw affection in his eyes. When he was angry or disappointed, you saw the frustration in his eyes.
Over the past two months, though...his eyes had been blank. As if his mind were possessed by something else entirely. In your desperate search for answers as to why Saeran suddenly seemed to hate you, you had assumed that the blankness on his face was a product of his anger to you but now, you realized that the whole time, it was the Elixir.
Even when he injected you with the Elixir, it had been a decision reached under influence.
That goddamn liquid, you thought, suddenly more worried for Saeran's health than anything else. If the boy was throwing up blue, something you hadn't done during even your secondary commitment, the Savior truly must have gone overboard.
"(Y/N), please...I won't ask you to forgive me but just..." Your ears perked up as you heard Saeran's broken voice continue. "Just please don't die. I've caused you so much pain...but if you die because of this I won't be able to handle it. I know I deserve the pain and the blame and the grief, but please...please."
You wanted the lights to be on. You wanted to look Saeran in the eye and tell him everything would be okay.
That you were already feeling better and your life was most likely no longer in danger.
But you knew he wouldn't believe you, so instead, you simply said, "Saeran, come here." The boy moved forward, standing a foot away from you, unsure.
But you didn't waste a moment in hesitation. You grabbed his hand and pulled him into your bed, right next to you, and embraced him.
It had been nearly two months since the two of you had this level of closeness, and that seemed to push Saeran over the edge. He returned the hug for a moment, resting his head in the crook of your neck before the tears began flowing from him all over again.
Saeyoung left the room, shutting the door quietly, leaving the two of you.
It was a peaceful moment.
No words needed to be said.
You closed your eyes and shushed him as he mumbled apology after apology, holding him close for what felt like the first time in forever.
There was still a lot to talk about. A lot. But for a moment, it really felt like everything would be okay.
Word count: 2.2k
Notes: Avatar: The Last Airbender is suchh a good show everyone should watch it
Comment & Vote
Next Update: 3/12/20
I do not own the rights to Mystic Messenger or any of the characters within it.