SUPERPOSITION
DANIEL CAESAR
If I should die before I wake
Oh, please, do not resuscitate
I know I didn't live my life in vain
The rest of my life's in a state of chaos
But I know I'll be okay
Exist in superposition
Life's all about contradiction
Yin and yang
Fluidity, and things
Haneul opens her eyes at the sound of the gunshot, a raw, guttural cry of pain emitting from the depths of her stomach, tearing out her heart as it leaves her lips. No, she wasn't shot. Not yet, anyway. But she might as well be, because there's only one other person who could be on the receiving end of the barrel, and it's the one person Haneul would take a bullet for. Jeongguk. His name is on the tip of her tongue and dissolved like the salt in the tears that stream down her cheeks and embroidered on her racing heart as she struggles against the bouncer's suffocating grip around her neck.
But then her teary vision focuses and she sees him.
Standing, breathing. Eyes trained on the open door, and Haneul doesn't know what's out there, but Haneul's grandmother, who looks terrified for the first time Hanuel has ever seen, is looking at it, too. And then she sees that the gun that was once pointed at Jeongguk is on the floor, and her grandmother is clutching her hand to her chest. Crimson liquid drips down the skin of her wrist. And then, a tall, blue-haired figure cautiously walks through the door with a gun in his shaking hands.
"Taehyung." Jeongguk breathes out, and Taehyung nods to him, though his gaze doesn't leave Haneul's grandmother. Even the bouncer seems surprised to see him, because he doesn't move to defend her grandmother.
"Ah, yes. Taehyung. Nice to see you again." Mrs. Choi hisses, cradling her injured hand. Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows, probably thinking the exact same thing as Haneul: Again? Taehyung grits his teeth, a sweat breaking out on his brow.
"You lied to me." He states, trying to keep his voice calm, but it still quakes. "You said you were old friends." Mrs. Choi lets out half a laugh, clearly in pain from her gunshot wound to the hand.
"People lie about a lot of things." She says knowingly, glancing at the raven haired boy. He has been inching ever so subtly closer to Haneul, taking advantage of the lack of attention on him, but he stops when she speaks her next words. "Don't they, Jeongguk?" He stiffens visibly, trying to push all thoughts of Jimin out of his mind. He can't afford to focus on him, or more importantly, the terrible, awful, agonizing truth. Noticing Jeongguk's internal conflict, Taehyung speaks up again.
"Leave him alone. You've already tortured him enough." He protests, but Mrs. Choi just glares at him.
"How can you want to help someone like him? Disregarding the fact that he is a Wanderer, all he's ever done in his life is hurt people. He hurt you, Taehyung. You were always there for him, always cared for him. You loved him." She says, and Jeongguk turns to Taehyung, who has tears brimming in his eyes. Everything falls into place for Jeongguk then, and his heart aches for the kind boy, knowing he deserves love more than anyone and feeling guilty for not reciprocating it. "And he chose someone else over you. Don't stick up for someone like him. He broke your heart Taehyung, what don't you understand?" Taehyung is silent for a moment, long fingers readjusting themselves on the handle of the gun.
"What I understand is that revenge is never the answer. Especially not this kind—the kind where people get hurt. I mean, that guy is pointing a gun at your granddaughter's head under your command. No matter what someone does to me, I'll never stoop to your level." Taehyung says, tearful eyes cold as they rest on Mrs. Choi.
"Wouldn't you, though? Because you're pointing a gun at me right now. Hell, you shot me in the hand." She counters, and Taehyung's breath audibly falters. "And you lead me right to Jeongguk." The tears in Taehyung's eyes spill down his cheeks silently, his hands holding the gun shaking uncontrollably. "Technically, you already have stooped to my level. You're no better than me, Taehyung. You despise Jeongguk just as much as I do, you just won't admit it."
"I'd never hurt him. I never wanted any of this, you can't make this my fault." Taehyung insists, voice weak. "It's not my fault." He repeats quietly, as if to convince himself more than to tell Mrs. Choi.
"It's not your fault, Tae." Jeongguk speaks up, carefully moving behind Taehyung to place his hand on his shoulder to reassure him. Seeing Mrs. Choi's gun on the ground, he ever so subtly moves it closer to himself with his foot. Taehyung melts into Jeongguk's touch, trying his best to believe him. The more Mrs. Choi speaks, the more he starts to listen to her.
"I'd shut your mouth if I were you, before I tell him to put a bullet through your little soulmate's skull." Mrs. Choi practically hisses at Jeongguk. At the mention of Haneul, the bouncer tightens his formerly relaxed choke hold on her. Jeongguk connects teary eyes with her as she feels the cool metal of the barrel press against her temple.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Taehyung blurts.
"Try me." Mrs. Choi cocks her eyebrow in a challenge.
"If you don't let her go, I'll shoot you." Taehyung chokes out, trying his best to be strong. Mrs. Choi has the audacity to laugh.
"No, you won't." She says. "No one would hurt a poor little old lady, least of all you. You don't have the courage. In fact, you're weak, Taehyung. Letting Jeongguk walk all over you, letting him use you, only to come to his defense because you're still head over heels for him—"
"Stop. Please." Taehyung murmurs, courage faltering.
"Stop? Why should I? You won't hurt me, you're too weak. Too naive, too scared." She taunts him still.
"Maybe he won't, but I will." Jeongguk says firmly, eyes narrowed on Mrs. Choi. Her eyes widen at the sight of him—the typically empathetic, kind person, innocent despite his years with a look that could wither flowers, the gun she had dropped on the ground in his hand, aimed straight at her. But she regains her composure as quick as she lost it.
"Please. I've lived a long life. I'm not afraid to die. My death wouldn't benefit Haneul, though. Your punishment for ruining everything you touch will come soon enough, Jeon Jeongguk, and there's nothing you can do about it." Mrs. Choi says, a sick and twisted smile on her wrinkled face, but her words resonate with Jeongguk.
Your punishment for ruining everything you touch will come soon enough, Jeon Jeongguk, and there's nothing you can do about it.
"Oh, there is one thing I can do." He says, cocking the gun with a calmness and clarity he didn't have before. His hands don't even tremble as they change where the gun is pointed—shifting steadily from Mrs. Choi to himself. A strangled sound escapes Haneul, and the bouncer stifles it with a strong grip around her windpipe. Taehyung swallows dryly in utter fear, and the brief panic Jeongguk saw on Mrs. Choi's face before is back in full force.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She asks, desperately hanging on to any ounce of intimidation she has, but it's slipping between her fingertips as she watches Jeongguk's finger tap the trigger teasingly.
"Avoiding punishment, of course. You cannot punish me if I'm dead." He says nonchalantly, trying his best to ignore Haneul's cries of terror behind him. He feels clarity amid the madness in this moment—he has control.
"You wouldn't dare." Mrs. Choi says, but it comes out as a statement rather than a threat. The lack of conviction in her voice brings a sadistic smile to Jeongguk's lips.
"I would, though. I've had a long life, too, you know. Much longer than yours, and much harder than yours. I've been through endless times of pain and despair in my years, enough for a thousand lifetimes. But I'm satisfied. I've done everything you could possibly imagine. I've made perfect, amazing friends." He glances at Taehyung, who's begging Jeongguk with his eyes not to do anything. "I've had not one, but two great loves." Jeongguk continues, glancing at Haneul, who thrashes helplessly in the bouncer's grip. She believes him, he can see it in the unadulterated fear in her eyes and tears dripping down her cheeks. They all do. Even Mrs. Choi, who is profusely sweating under the pressure he's putting on her. "Dying now wouldn't be so bad for me."
"You entitled son of a bitch." Mrs. Choi spits, and Jeongguk chuckles a bit.
"But you could change all that. If you just let Haneul go." He responds calmly to her insults. "If you let her go, and let her and Taehyung get out of here safely, I'll let you punish me however you deem fit." Jeongguk can see the cogs of Mrs. Choi's mind twisting and turning as she processes his offer.
"But letting her go defeats the purpose. Killing her was your punishment." Mrs. Choi thinks aloud.
"There are other ways of torture." He informs her, and she looks skeptical. "Physically, mentally, emotionally—look. The bottom line is that you've been wanting to make me suffer for years, and I'm giving you an opportunity. Any punishment is better than no punishment, right?" He says, gesturing with his free hand to the gun. Mrs. Choi sighs, debating internally, but Jeongguk knows that even her consideration of his proposal means a guaranteed success in the plan.
"Fine." She relents, and Jeongguk lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding. Taehyung and Haneul have the opposite reactions, though—Haneul's sobs ring throughout the apartment.
"Take it back. Take it back, Jeongguk." Taehyung pleads to him in a low voice. Jeongguk blocks both him and Haneul out.
"Let her go, and put the gun down." Mrs. Choi orders, and the bouncer does as instructed. Haneul gasps for breath and stumbles a bit as she gravitates to Jeongguk as fast as possible. Her sobs are less muffled now, and her lips speak words that make Jeongguk's heart ache with the pain he's putting her through. Her hands tug at his bicep, pull at his wrist, desperately trying to get the gun away from him, but he doesn't budge.
"I love you. Everything's gonna be okay, darling. I promise." He says, trying his best not to give away his plan but also to reassure her.
"None of this is okay! Jeongguk, you can't do this! You can't!" She rambles brokenly, and Jeongguk manages a small smile.
"I promise, everything will be okay." He repeats, before looking to Taehyung. "Everything will be okay. Tae, will you get Haneul to the front door, please?" He asks, and Taehyung shakes his head firmly, but Jeongguk sighs in exasperation. "Please, Taehyung. I need you to do this one last thing for me." He pleads, and underneath his gaze, Taehyung complies, tears escaping his eyes. He passively walks over to Haneul before using his male strength and sheer body mass to bring Haneul, fighting tooth and nail to get to Jeongguk, to the front door.
"Wow. You're more stupid than I thought. Giving up everything for one person's safety." Mrs. Choi, says, but follows it with a brief pause. "You're brave, Jeon. Stupid, but brave. I'll give you that." She admits, and Jeongguk smiles once more.
"I've been told I'm pretty brazen."
"All right, enough with the antics. Put the gun down, Jeongguk. You got what you wanted. Hold up your end of the bargain." Mrs. Choi demands, and Jeongguk nods, sighing. Slowly, he bends down, gently rests the gun on the floor, and straightens up once again, empty handed. The triumphant smile for his demise on Mrs. Choi's face makes his stomach do flips.
"You were right earlier, by the way." He says offhandedly, and Mrs. Choi stares at him blankly.
"What?"
"No one would hurt a poor little old lady." He repeats her words from earlier. "I wouldn't hurt a poor little old lady." He clarifies, and before she can process, he speaks again. "But I can make an exception for you." He deadpans, and follows it up with a kick that sweeps Mrs. Choi's feet out from beneath her and into his arms, and throws her frail frame over the couch and into the bookshelf against the wall. He spins around as quick as he can to the shocked Taehyung and Haneul, running towards them, exclaiming, "Go! Run!"
But Haneul stays frozen to the spot with terror as she watches tragedy happen like she would a car wreck in slow motion—seeing every painful detail perfectly, but being unable to do anything to prevent it. She sees the bouncer over Jeongguk's shoulder. She sees him retrieve the gun from the floor. She sees him aim at Jeongguk's back as he runs to meet them at the door—
And she sees him shoot. She sees the pure agony flash on Jeongguk's face, sees his steps falter as his knees buckle from the impact. She sees him go to shoot again, but Taehyung raises his gun in a hasty decision and pulls the trigger, bullet implanting itself in the bouncer's thigh. Her own screams ring in her ears as she rushes to Jeongguk alongside Taehyung, who looks pale and mildly terrified at the fact that he just shot a gun. They help Jeongguk stand, crimson blood staining his dress shirt, plastering it to the toned skin of his abdomen as he clutches his wound, letting out moand and groans of pain.
On instinct, they support Jeongguk's weak frame as they exit the apartment, put pressure on his wound as they stand in the elevator on the way down to the main floor. Haneul is trying her best to use her medical knowledge, but her brain is in a panic induced haze. They stumble outside, holding up a bleeding Jeongguk.
"Where's your car?" Haneul asks Taehyung, but Taehyung looks around just as frantically as she does. He glances down at the watch on his wrist and lets out a string of profanities.
"Not here yet." He sighs in exasperation.
"Not here yet? The bouncer could come down the stairs any minute! What do you mean your car isn't here yet?" Haneul shouts, her fear getting the best of her, but Taehyung doesn't take it to heart. He only smiles, eyes set on something in the distance. Haneul follows his gaze to a car, swiftly approaching. The tires squeal as the driver tears into the parking lot. The tinted black window rolls down, and Jeongguk's half conscious mind doesn't know if he's hallucinating or not when he sets eyes on the driver's face.
"Get in!" Seokjin shouts.
that was so chaotic but i hope you liked it, i've been working on this chapter for a while because i wanted it to be as good as i can make it...
considering there's only one more chapter in this book.
i love you guys!!
edited 05/07/20