N/B: this chapter has slight gore.
*
Whispers clouded Kimi's thoughts as he rested his forehead on the table and tried to rest. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried flushing out the various whispers; from gossips to arguments, to discussions and even sobs, everything swirled together and danced around Kimi's thoughts as he tried desperately to rest.
Can someone please tell those fishes to pipe do-
"Hey, did you hear that Qulture is to perform in Ashville," gossiped a boy as he fiddled with a crumbled paper and this caught Kimi's attention.
His ears perked up like a rat's then he concentrated on their discussion.
"Yeah. And their lead vocalist, Aurum Caedis, is finally going to perform with them after so long." A girl squealed lightly. "Isn't it awesome?"
Kimi froze, his eyes shooting open in tremendous shock. His chest tightened with fluttering emotions and he frowned, a hand placed over his swiftly beating heart.
Aurum? How long has it been since I last saw you ? Twelve years?
The boy scoffed. "Yeah. If anything it's impossible to attend the concert because Rhodes Isles is shrouded by an ogin and we don't exactly have access to tickets." He sighed in disappointment.
Kimi sighed and placed a hand over his cheek when he felt himself blush.
I don't have a crush on him!
"If anything I'll freaking wet myself if I see him," he griped in disappointment.
All was sane, until the sound of a loud pained shriek aroused everyone's curiosity and they all perked up. The classroom became cloaked by chaos as the shrills heightened, and the sound of students rushing into the hallway encouraged them out of the classroom.
Kimi just stayed frozen in his seat but shot to his feet as he heard a much heavier wail that came from various students that had piled outside. He walked to the window and stared down at the students; he tried searching for the cause of the chaos and he found it, only to walk away from the window as he spotted the old gateman from the morning, beheaded.
His world spinned like a cyclone and he held his hand tightly against his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. His breathing fastened and his heartbeat drummed in his ear like a hoard of gongs, but the sound of screams seemed to dominate the thundering sound.
Kimi dropped to his knees as flashes of blood clouded his vision-familiar blood-and he screamed for his dear life as he remembered the smell, the scene-splashes of blood everywhere:the ceiling, his hair, his face, his clothes-everything!
"This is not real!" He shook his head violently.
I still feel fear. I still feel fear. I still feel fear! I STILL FEEL FEAR!
"I still feel fear!" he roared as he shot open his eyes.
A snicker behind him caught him and he froze. He looked over his shoulder and saw the boy from earlier in the morning, his friend standing beside him.
"What a fucking girl." He tilted his head slightly. "Hey, aren't you the infamous zom-"
"Stop!" his friend warned with a deadly gaze. "Raja, stop." His friend shook his head and walked away, him following after his friend with a surprised look.
Kimi just shook as he calmed his breathing. Suddenly, his fear was replaced with anger as he digested what the boy had said. "People are just so fucking ignorant."
*
"Mother! Mother!" Kimi flung his shoes and bag off and marched to his mother's bedroom. "Mother!" he yelled as he smacked his palm against the door. "Fucking open the door!"
He flung the door open without a care and was greeted by hollow silence and emptiness. He growled as he tramped to the kitchen. "Mother!"
It was empty and he stomped his feet with a growl of livid frustration. He stomped his way to the bathroom and kicked the door open-it was empty.
"Fuck!"
He plucked his phone out of his pocket and speed dialed his mother. It went through, but she didn't pick it up. "Fuck! Woman answer your phone! Shi-"
A gasp from his room cut him short and he growled like a broken beast. He matched to his bedroom's door, threw it open and was received by the scene of his surprised mother on his bed, with a book in her hands-his diary. He froze.
Kara stood up. "Since when were you gay?"
Kimi stomped to her and dragged his diary out of his mother's hands. "Where did you get this?!"
Kara shook. "Kimi what-"
"Where did you fucking get this?!"
Kara went wide-eyed. "Watch your ton-"
"Stop fucking telling me to watch my tongue and answer my damn question! Where did you get this?!"
"Kimi calm down!" She moved to comfort her son but he slapped her hands away.
"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! Answer the fucking damn question woman! Where did you get-"
A harsh slap to his face made his words stay put on his tongue and Kara glared at him. "Don't talk to me like that, I'm your mother." She shook her head. "I-I got worried about your recent behaviours and since you wouldn't talk to me I decided to find answers myself. I..." She turned around. "Since how long have you been crushing on Aurum Caedis?"
Kimi froze.
Kara sighed. "I-I'm not upset that you're gay, in fact I'm happy. But... Why Aurum Caedis? There are better, more gorgeous, talented young men out there. But..." She turned to face her son with a worried expression. "How do you know him and what has he ever done for you?"
Kimi saw red. "You fucking dare to ask that question?" He chuckled menacingly. "Oh now you want to fucking play 'good mum'." He chuckled even more.
Kara became confused as she fiddled with her hand and stared as her son threw his diary aside and prolonged his laugh. She stretched a hand. "Kimi-"
Kimi slapped her hand away so hard that she fell on the bed. "Now you want to fucking act like a saint! Twelve! For twelve good years I had spent my life suffering alone, cursing myself, wishing my possible death, cheated on my own existence AND ALL YOU EVER DID WAS GRIEVE YOUR HUSBAND'S DEATH LIKE YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAW HIM GET TORN TO PIECES!" He breathed heavily and wiped sweat off his face. "All you did was fucking ship me around the world like a commodity, only to bring me back to my living nightmare!" He tried controlling his shaking hands by clenching them into tight fists. "And now you're worried about who I have a crush on? You're fucking cruel woman."
Kara breathed heavily as she placed a hand on her chest. "I... I... I... I-I...." She stood up with a stagger. "K-Kimi... I.... I t-thought I was doing the right by searching f-for a good psychologist."
Kimi nodded in mock. "Yeah. By fucking bringing back to the cause of my problems." He growled through gritted teeth. "Do you have any fucking idea how it felt to stay awake through the night, only to go to school the next day and be called a fucking zombie?!" He snared. "Huh? Do you?!"
Kara held her breath and her grey eyes became clouded by tears that rolled down her wrinkled, brown skin. "I... You.... We-I... You n-never said anything a-abou-"
"Is it my fucking job or yours to fucking know what is troubling me?" He placed his hands on his waist. "'Don't talk to me like that, I'm your mother'," he mocked. "A real mother wouldn't have fucking shunned her son just because he has a fucking crush on an idol. A real mother wouldn't have fucking brought her son back to this city. A real mother would have fucking known that her son was so scared that he couldn't sleep because he watched his father get torn to pieces by who knows what!"
Kara froze. "W-what..."
Kimi held up his hand. "A real mother wouldn't have fucking let her son experience his father's death fucking twice!"
"W-what do you me-" Kara swallowed thickly. "Kimi... What happened?"
Kimi rubbed his forehead with trembling hands. "Today, a man was beheaded in our school by... by..." Bile crawled up his throat with a reared head and he swallowed thickly. He looked into his mother's eyes. "I think my father's killers are still alive. I..."
Kara froze with with scared, wide eyes. "What-" Her phone vibrated and she sniffled before picking it up. "H-hello?"
Kimi watched her expression as it swiftly changed from sad to scared in a matter of seconds.
She froze. "H-how?"
The person on the other side talked more before cutting the call. She dropped the phone and let it clatter to the floor as she inched closer to Kimi but he looked away.
"Kimi... Kimi..." She raised her hand to turn his face but he held it. "Kimi... please look at me." More tears rolled down her cheek. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry you had to go through all that... Again." She swiftly wiped off her tears. "I'll... I'll be a better mother. I'll pay more attention to you. I-I'll prepare your favourite meal. I'll-We'll do anything you want, so just... just look at me."
Kimi turned, tears glistening his eyes. "Just stop acting like the whole world is against you and you owe it a whole debt. You're just..." The tears finally spilled. "You're just a coward for putting your fear above the love you have for your son." He dropped her hand and cleaned his tears. "Please leave."
"Kimi-"
Kara's bottom lip trembled as she rushed out of the bedroom, her maxi skirt sweeping her gloomy path, taking Kimi's anger with her. Kimi dropped to the floor and held his head in his hands.
"I still feel fear. I still feel fear." He moaned a cry as tears bursted out of his eyes. "I still fucking feel the fear but I didn't mean to upset her."
I'm sorry.
*
The creaking of the bedroom door made Kimi turn his back to the door; he felt bad for what he said, he felt useless-weak even-as he heard his mother's approaching footsteps. Kimi had listened to his mother cry for hours-he couldn't even drown away her wails with loud music-and he had heard her stand behind the door for minutes, trying to give herself confidence and words to express herself. Kimi felt bad for being the reason why his mother was miserable.
Kara sat beside Kimi's head-the bed sinking under her weight-and fiddled with her fingers. "Kimi, I'm sorry." She exhaled. "I know I can never ever say 'I know how it feels' to you as a mother. But... But I promise I'll make it up to you. Nothing... Nothing will ever make me forfeit my duty as a mother."
"To me or to your fears?" Kimi asked as he shuffled to look at his mother. He sighed. "Look I'm... Even if part of what I said was mostly true, I... You never ever gave up on your instinct as a mother. You knew, but you didn't want to believe and accept your son was having problems... You tried, truly you are still trying but"-he moved to take his mother's hands but thought against it with a sigh-"this is so awkward and I promise that I'll appreciate your cooking with more 'thank you's." He swiftly turned the other way, feeling weird emotions suffocate his character.
Kara blinked in surprise and sighed. "Okay, I... I better leave you to rest." She stood up and walked out. "Good night."
Kimi hummed in response and pulled the duvet over his head. But he tugged it down as soon as he heard the door to his mother's room click shut.
"I still feel fear but now all I feel is confusion." He rubbed his chest. "Where are you?"
Author's Note: Hello dear readers! ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ How was this chapter? Find any connecting dots? Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ If you did, please comment on it. Please vote, share and no harsh words! Love Yourself, Love Life, Love LOVE. BYE BYE!