“I still feel fear,” Kimi whispered as he fiddled with the shirt in his hands and bit his top lip in concentration. All was silent as he rubbed against the name Qulture that was embroided on its collar.
The night was a mix between cold and warmth as Kimi brought the cloth to his nose and inhaled deeply—like the lingering scent could save him. He meditated on the scent and closed his eyes, waiting, clawing for the least solace, comfort and encouragement he could find in the scent.
“I still feel fear,” he whispered as he dropped the cloth. “I saw those eyes. They still haunt me. Why did I ever return to this city?” He held his head in his hands. “If only you’re here then this fu—”
Barks filled the silent night and it drew Kimi to the window. The barks increased as dogs rattled violently in their kennels. Fear coursed through him as he spotted a hooded figure that treaded slowly down the street. He hid behind the shadows of his curtain as the figure tilted his head towards his house.
It was like he was drenched in ice water that numbed him as Kimi blinked in confusion, his memory blurring like scraped paint.
“What...” He held his head and moaned in pain. “I... I was...” He peered up at the walk clock that ticked silently. “Midnight.” He struggled to control his fastened breathing, but then he rushed back to his bed and covered his face with the cloth. “I still feel fear. I still feel fear. I still feel fear.”
Facing our fear is a part of our fears, a voice rang in his ear. But we have to know it, feel it, in order to face it. We are the embodiment of our fears. Its—
“—in our mind.” Kimi dragged out an exhale and squeezed his eyes shut. “Face your fears because it makes you stronger.” Kimi opened his eyes and studied the various posters of Qulture that lined the walls of his bedroom. “Fear makes me stronger.”
He leaned over his bed towards the bedside table and collected his phone together with the ear bud that was connected to it. He switched on his phone and tapped the music icon. The phone’s light glared at him and he squinted his eyes as he played the only playlist on his phone; it was titled QULTURE. Kimi fixed the ear bud in his ears and was embraced by the calm tunes.
“I still feel fear. I still feel fear. I still feel fear...” He chanted his words of encouragement, whispering them into the hollow night.
Facing our fear is a part of our fears.
*
Kimi’s walk to school was brisk, his head hooded and his grip on the straps of his bag firm. The warm breeze swayed through the trees as students and workers buzzed into the school’s building. As Kimi stepped into the school he was greeted by liveliness and grossed stares.
“Fuck!” hissed a boy in Hindi as he flagged his jacket around. “I can’t find it.” He swept ashen hair out of his face with a tight fist.
The fair boy that was stood behind him rolled his eyes. “Calm down.” He slapped the back of his companion’s head. “Check the gatehouse you nimrod,” he said in a flat tone.
Kimi zoomed out of the conversation and the world as he moved towards the main entrance. A frail grip on his shoulder brought him back and he jolted out of the grip.
“What the fucking hell?!” Kimi glared at the old man putting on a uniform and a bright smile. “What?”
“Oh young one, you’re supposed to write your name in the attendance book,” he voiced hoarsely. Unexpectedly, the old man started beating his chest harshly as he started hacking, blood dripping onto his fingers.
Kimi stepped away from the old man as he saw blood. The old man noticed this and smiled, blood painting his teeth brown.
“I’ve lived enough. The book’s in the gatehouse.” He turned to leave with an aged limp.
“Popsy!” exclaimed the ash haired boy as he walked to the man. “Have you seen my—”
“Yeah I saw it you donut. Always forgetting one thing or the other.” He motioned for the boy to follow him. “Don’t look for me when you loose your soul and can’t find it.”
Kimi snapped out of his shock as the old man led the boisterous boy to the gatehouse. He clenched his fists and locked his jaw.
I still feel the fear.
Swiftly, Kimi walked to the gatehouse and upon entrance spotted rows of books lined on the table. There were tags pasted above the books and Kimi walked to the one that had sophomore: male written on it. He picked the pen beside the book and he bent to write his name; his eyes found a pair of names and the pen slipped out of his hands.
Homer Vdélla.
Orpheus Vdélla.
“Here.”
Kimi froze as he recognized the icy voice and took the pen hastily while avoiding the person’s gaze. He quickly scribbled his name and rushed a out of the gatehouse.
I still feel fear.
*
“Welcome back students,” the teacher drawled with a smirk, “from your midterm break.” She sat on the edge of the table. “Good to see you all returned alive, in one piece yet fatter.”
Kimi was burned out as he blinked away tiredness, his focus diving in and out of concentration.
“Before the break I had given out books for you all to read, with no open window for excuses to fly through. So”—she raised a copy of the book—“can someone please summarize Animal Farm by George Orwell. Do that while the librarian retrieves school property.”
Flipping of pages instantly filled the air as students chewed on their pens and fingernails. The banging of book against wood quenched their meager attempt and they all froze.
“And if you dare spying.” She licked the top of her front teeth. “I’ll have more than enough ways to boost your scores because you all failed my test!”
Everyone sighed in unison but sat tensed and Kimi just laid his head against his palm and stifled a yawn.
“And since knowledge gives power and we lack in power.” She stood straight and cat walked towards Kimi. “Why don’t we have our fine, new student introduce himself and tell us what he knows about the book.” She dipped her head to stare down at Kimi through her spurious lashes. “Please stand.”
Kimi sighed silently and stood to his feet and unintentionally jabbed his teacher’s nose with his head.
“Dear boy please be careful,” she groaned as she rubbed her hurt nose. The class became shrouded with whispers and airy laughs and she silenced them all with a glare. “Go ahead,” she urged Kimi.
He suspired. “My name is Kimi Mikaelis and I’ve never read Animal Farm.” He gave his teacher a snippy look.
“And I’m your Literature teacher, Miss Lydia. And thank you dear for your assistance.” She waved her fingers in gratitude at the exiting librarian. “Nothing to offer?” She raised a perfectly lined eyebrow.
“I just fucking said I’ve not read—”
Lydia placed a sharp finger on his lips. “Sharp tongue.” She licked her top lip. “But watch it. I tend to buzz when I get upset.”
Someone coughed and everyone turned towards the person with a ghastly look; except Kimi who just supported his weight against the table.
Lydia turned to the person and walked to his seat, her heels clicking with a pin-like tap. “Master Vdélla.” She held her hands together. “Please tell us about what you read. Three minutes,” she ended with her raised fingers.
The boy stood up and swung his hands lazily. “Since my brother isn’t here and we’re normally a two men army.” He chuckled fearfully. “I’ll not lie, the book got burnt by two very, angry, passionate women in my house.” He shook his head and looked at his teacher. “I never got the chance to even remember the title of the book.”
Lydia scoffed and rolled her eyes. She motioned for the two boys to take their seats and walked to the front of the class and stood like a mannequin with a quipped look. “We’re having a test.”
Groans escaped everyone’s lips as they pulled out an exercise book from their individual bags, some looking around to beg. Kimi just tapped the tip of his pen against his table and waited for the questions.
Lydia exhaled like she was in heaven. “Good morning class.”
Author’s Note: she reminds me of my Literature teacher: old yet with a young fashion sense and physicality. (⌒_⌒;) And yes, this is what teachers from my secondary school do: give you makeup tests after the main test. (҂⌣̀_⌣́) Please vote, comment and share. Kisses from my side of the tinyverse ( ˘ ³˘)♥ and no harsh words! Harsh words weaken me. (╯︵╰,) Bye bye.