"Helena what's wrong?" Johnny whispered by her ear as his lips fell to her neck pressing sweet kisses from behind. They were still in the coat cupboard. In fact they had been in there for awhile now. Her mind had been travelling back to David once again but she hadn't realised she had been so transparent in front of Johnny.
"I'm fine" she said softly turning round to look at him as he neatened up his bow tie. He could tell by the sadness hidden in her eyes that she was far from fine, he knew exactly what she was thinking and how she was feeling and for that he could only lean in slowly and kiss her lips gently wanting her to know he was on her side.
She was a soft and gentle such a caring person. Johnny knew that she felt guilty again about David and he understood completely. Again tonight she had been a little drunk and he too felt bad for sleeping with her knowing she was intoxicated by drink. But he loved her, not that that was an excuse but even so any affection she showed him he couldn't exactly say no, she made him crazy at times.
Breaking away slowly Johnny wrapped his arms loosely around her and moved closer placing his forehead on hers. "I know you feel guilty Helena"
His words had her closing her eyes painfully, she began to feel the tears spring to her eyes. There was so much she wished she had done differently, she cared a lot about Johnny but she felt she used him slightly knowing she was so unhappy with her fiancée. She didn't want to lead Johnny on but it was far too late for that, she had been reckless and unfair and the guilt she felt was not only towards David but Johnny too. She felt so numb, all she wanted was to be loved and she wasn't sure if Johnny would ever stay faithful to her, his reputation worried her.
Of course she knew it was just news paper headlines and silly articles in the press but then it seemed he had never stayed faithful to any of his past girlfriends. She wanted to love him, did love him but she didn't want to fall to deep. She was afraid he would hurt her.
"He's cheating on me Johnny" she whispered sadly to which he couldn't help but feel a little worried that perhaps she made love with him just to ease her broken heart. If that were true he too would feel broken, he hoped that she wanted him back and wasn't just getting back at David.
"I'm sorry" he said still keeping the closeness between them. "How did you find out?"
Looking at him she pulled away a little "I know he's been talking to someone called Olivia, last night I went out for some air..." she gulped sadly feeling her tears threatening to fall. "When I came back he was asleep, I looked at his phone and he was telling her how he was marrying me for my money...he told her that it wouldn't change things between them..."
His eyes were wide in disgust. "What" he whispered angrily. "Doesn't he make enough money?"
Shaking her head Helena broke away from Johnny's arms and ran her arms around herself instead. "There's something I haven't told you about my relationship with him"
Johnny could see there was something she was holding back and for that he could only frown towards her. She looked ashamed and nervous which only made him feel nervous too.
"Helena tell me" he pushed gently seeing her looking so guilty.
"I'm struggling money wise... you see David...well he gambles" she began only for Johnny to run his hand over his face and sigh loudly.
"Oh god Helena why didn't you tell me this before" he didn't need her to really explain anymore. Johnny had a friend that had the same addiction, his friend was loaded with money and lost everything over time by stupid betting and gambling. He was now struggling to put food on his plate because of his addiction....
"So David has gambled away your earnings as well?" Again he could see in her face that it was true. "How much?" He was afraid to ask but then he needed to know just what she had lost.
Looking to the floor as the tears began to softly fall Helena gulped feeling nervous and embarrassed.
"Two million" she whispered so full of shame. She had helped David with the money, had spent what ever she earnt as an actress to help pay of his debts. At first she had been horrified but David had been a mess, had told her how he would give it up but he never did.
Walking back over Johnny pulled her into his arms and held her close as she began to cry. He couldn't believe David had done this to her. Helena didn't deserve this. This man who was supposedly in love with her had been using her this whole time and she didn't even know. She had loved him and helped him when in reality David had been sharing his bed with another woman...
"Why did you allow this Helena? Why were you still going to marry him..." he couldn't get his head around it. She wasn't a fool, she wasn't stupid yet throwing away her life's work was something he couldn't contemplate.
"Because I love him Johnny....or did at one point, hopelessly....last night when I saw those messages on his phone...well I didn't know what to think..." her tears stained her faces and she tried her very best not to cry too hard.
Pulling back to look at her he frowned not understanding why she was still supposedly going through with this. "Why didn't you call tonight off?"
His question had her looking to the floor again not quite knowing what to say. "I don't know" she whispered truthfully. If she were honest she was afraid to break up with David, she also wanted to see Johnny tonight too and was worried if she cancelled then Johnny might not have come.
"Why did you really bring me in here Hellie...." he was afraid to ask yet he had to know. This was so unlike her...
Shaking her head she closed her eyes painfully again. "Because...I missed you Johnny....I've felt so alone these last few months and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either..."
Smiling sadly at her words he pulled her gently back into his arms and held her close. "Then I haven't been going mad on my own...." he said softly running his hands soothingly up and down her back.
"I'm sorry for being such a mess" she said a shy smile tugging at her lips at how he was looking at her. God it felt so good when he held her like this, it was like nothing could ever harm her. She loved him, she always had but there was still that worry in the back of her mind that he would break her heart. She knew it was probably ridiculous but then she couldn't help how she felt, he did it once before what's to say he couldn't do it agin.
"You need to break up with David Helena, and when you do please tell him to go fuck himself because no one should ever use you like that..." his anger towards David was apparent in his face and all Helena could do was look down sadly.
"I've hardly been fair myself towards him...." she said realising how stupid she was to get herself drunk enough to fall back into bed with Johnny not once but twice.
"Helena the man was going to marry you because you helped him pay for what he stupidly lost, he has been cheating on you much longer then I'm afraid you would care to know... you're not the guilty party here" he said cupping her face in her hands seeing it crumble sadly.
"I loved him so much" she broke down again her heart shattering in pain.
Pulling her close Johnny had a good mind to find David himself and beat the living crap out of him for doing this to someone as innocent as Helena. He could tell she was heartbroken, could tell she loved him enough to help pay off his stupidity. The arsehole had used her and fucked around with some other woman why Helena was left to pick up the pieces.
"I probably shouldn't have pulled you in here tonight" she whispered sadly breaking away a little to look up at him. "I selfishly needed your love Johnny, you've made me so happy over the last few months of filming....but I was cruel enough not to consider your feelings in all this, I'm sorry"
"Stop saying that Helena, please stop with this guilt ok? We've both had a little to much to drink yet again and find ourselves seeking each other's company...I only want what's best for you" he said not wanting to push her or make her feel anymore guilty then she already was. "To be honest I too should have considered your emotional state, I'm as much to blame as you"
"I love you Johnny" she whispered sadly cupping his cheek. "But I'm afraid to commit to anything"
"Helena please don't....I understand, you haven't even broken off your engagement yet I'm not expecting you to commit to anything soon....as long as you know I'm here for you and that I'll help you deal with whatever might come" his words shattered her already broken heart and all she could do was lean in and hug him tightly.
"Thank you" she whispered into his chest taking this moment to just get her head straight. She needed to pick her life back up, a life that had been slipping through her fingers so fast she hadn't realised she had lost control of holding onto it.
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David sat there glaring at Helena as if he might jump up and strangle her at any moment. She was breaking up with him! On their engagement night!
"This is because of Johnny isn't it!" He snapped across their hotel room. Everyone had left and the party was over. Johnny had his car waiting outside for Helena, waiting for her when she finished with David.
"Johnny is a part of it yes, if you must know he's the only person that's kept me sane....but I know you've been seeing someone called Olivia and I know now you were only going to go through with this whole charade because I had a steady income of money" she explained rather calmly sitting across the other side if the room.
She noticed the change in David's face, how he looked a little guilty for being caught. She wanted to cry knowing how he knew everything she was saying was true.
"I loved you..." she whispered painfully tears brimming in her eyes. "But I was stupid enough to believe you actually loved me back"
He sat there silent not knowing what to say. He had been caught, she knew everything and for that he was the guilty one here.
"You've been fucking Johnny" he snapped back like he had the upper hand which only had her scoffing and shaking her head.
"I admit that yes, he's the only one that has been able to pick up the pieces... I don't regret that David, you can't really sit there accusing me when you've been having a fling with this Olivia woman for god knows how long...not only that but you have been using me..." the fact he thought he had the right to accuse her was ridiculous.
"I want you to notify everyone that the wedding is off, I hope you and your girlfriend have a lovely life, but I won't be funding it anymore" with that she stood and removed her engagement ring off her finger. "You really are an arsehole" she whispered looking at him with such sorrow in her eyes as she placed the ring on the dressing table in their hotel room.
"Olivia is my ex wife Helena, I think I owe it to you to tell you that I never stopped loving her" he stood walking over to her as she frowned. She never even knew he had been married, so he really had been sleeping with his ex this whole time. She felt sick...
Looking at him one last time she only felt disgust and anger towards him now. "Make each other happy" she said completely hurt by him now.
Opening up the door she left and closed it behind her. She couldn't put into words how angry she was at herself for being so stupid, David had used her this whole time and she allowed it too blind with love for him to see. She had been a fool.
Reaching the front door of the Cambridge hotel they were staying at Helena walked fast over the gravel to Johnny's car and opened up the passenger side. He could see the hurt in her eyes as she sat in his car and closed the door, he knew she wasn't ready to talk and so started up the engine to his Mercedes.
"I'll take you to your mums..." he began as they drove off.
"No" she whispered gulping down hard knowing she was close to tears again. "Can I stay with you tonight? Not like you think... just to be near you? I need a friend now Johnny..." she said softly looking over at him as he drove them back to London.
Glancing at her he smiled supportively before focusing back at the road. "Of course" he whispered reaching one hand off the steering wheel to gently place over hers. She smiled shyly at the gesture and held his hand giving it a small squeeze.
"Thank you Johnny"
A/N: please let me know your thoughts❤️ also I haven't forgotten Jessica😂 she will be brought up in the next chapter!