They needed her and she wasn't there. They needed her and she was at a wedding. They needed her and she was having fun. And now they were gone.
And Nadia felt responsible. She could've done something. If she had only known. She had all these dreams, but when it mattered most they were useless once again. She saw nothing about this. And now they were gone.
And she should have known. He warned her. He gave her the message. But she thought it was just an empty threat. She didn't listen and she should have. And now they were gone.
And her heart was breaking.
It felt like a dream. Like a very bad nightmare. But seeing the face of her father, his heart broken expression. It was a sign that it was very much real. They were gone, and all they had left was each other. Her mother. Her grandmother. Her grandfather. All gone. Three members of their family; three people that they loved; all gone. And they didn't even get to say goodbye.
She had been crying for days. For a while it seemed like she could never stop. From the moment she came back home from the wedding with Professor Dumbledore, the tears began to flow and hadn't stopped. Her dad was with her, both of them supporting each other as their grief consumed them. Other times he disappeared into his room as she did in her own.
She closed herself off to the world around her. Letters kept arriving, but they just sat on her desk untouched. Some of her friends had tried to come over, but she let none of them in. She couldn't. But she knew she would have to do it. She couldn't avoid them forever.
And that was made even clearer as a knock came from the other side of her door. She knew it couldn't be her father. He had left not too long ago to take care of some of the funeral arrangements. She looked over at the door, and watched as it pushed open revealing Sirius looking inside, his eyes scanning the room until they fell upon her sitting on her bed.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice barely heard, weak from all the crying she had been doing.
"You know why I'm here. You can't push me away. I'm here for you, for whatever you need, and I'm not going anywhere." He said gently as he moved to sit beside her on the bed, his arm instantly pulling her to his side.
He had given her some time. He couldn't even imagine what she was going through. But now, he couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand the idea of her going through it alone, without him there to support her when she needed it most. Even though she didn't want to admit it.
"Thank you." Nadia whispered, drawing herself closer into him, choosing to find comfort in his arms. At least a little bit of it. He kissed the top of her head, holding her close as a silence enveloped them. He wouldn't bring it up. He knew she would talk when she was ready.
"How can something like this happen? She was here to send me off to the wedding. My grandma and grandpa were here for Christmas; laughing and exchanging gifts. We were all together just a week ago. And now I'll never see them again." Nadia said, her voice breaking as she spoke, a new set of tears beginning to flow down her cheeks.
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry." He whispered, pulling her even closer as her shoulders began to shake with silent sobs. He hated seeing her like this. He hated that her heart was breaking and he couldn't help. Nothing he said or did would ever be enough. He didn't even know what to say in the first place.
"I'm scared. I don't want to forget things about them. I don't want to forget my mother's laugh, or my grandpa's voice." Nadia whispered. She knew it would happen. It was a normal process. But right now she couldn't bare the thought of such things happening.
"Hey, look at me." He gently pulled away, placing his hand on her cheek and making her look up at him. It broke his heart to see her tears, but he still spoke. "You might forget those things, you might not. But you'll still remember the most important ones. You'll remember how much they loved you, and how much you loved them. You have all the good memories. Those are what matters. They may be gone, but they are always going to be with you." He reassured her. He knew it might not help much right now, but he knew she was strong. Nadia nodded her head lightly, understanding he was right. Those were the things that matter.
She wanted to reply, but didn't get a chance as another knock sounded. It made Nadia and Sirius share a curious look as they hadn't expected it. But the answer as to who it was came as the door opened once again and a large group of people piled in.
"We know you've been turning us away, and if you want us to go we will. But we just wanted to you understand that we're all here Nadia. We all want to be here for you." Lily was the first to speak as they all entered the room.
"You can't turn us away forever, Snowflake, we're not leaving." James added on with a gentle tone. He hated not seeing her these last couple of days. He hated not being able to be there for her.
"Never." Peter added on with a soft smile. The last time something like this happened he was cruel and mean. He wouldn't make that mistake again. His friend needed him.
"Come here you guys." Nadia said, a small smile on her face as she looked at all of her friends. They were quick to rush over, all climbing onto her bed and crowding around her as they pulled her into a group hug. She felt a hand grasp her own tightly in a sign of support and looked over at Marlene who sat beside Camille, both girls giving her sympathetic looks, their actions making it clear that while they may have not spoken, they were still here for whatever she needed.
And they were; all of them. They stayed with her. Talked to her. And hugged her when she cried. Long into the night.
By the time Konstantin came back home, he wanted to check on his daughter. He felt bad leaving her alone, but he knew it would be worse if he took her with him to take care of the funeral. He didn't want to let her go through that. However, once he gently opened the door of her room, he was surprised to see a whole crowd of people surrounding his daughter, all of them sleeping around the room, and the bed had turned into a messy tangle of limbs. However, one person stayed awake and Konstantin looked at the boy with a thankful look in his eyes.
"Thank you Sirius, for being here for her. I'm glad she has all of you." Konstantin whispered, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping children. He was relieved to know that his daughter had so many people there for her, to support her and to hold her up when she needed them.
"You don't have to thank me sir. And I know it might not mean much, but if you need anything..." Sirius said. Konstantin had always been kind to him, and had accepted him into his daughter's life. He knew the man was in pain as well, and while he wasn't sure if there was anything he could do to help him he wanted to make sure he knew that.
"It means more than you know. Thank you." Konstantin said with a sad smile. Deciding to leave them all to their peaceful slumber, he bid the Black boy a goodnight before leaving the room. He took one last glance at the group before closing the door. The sight relieving the worries that had plagued his mind for the last couple of days. His daughter would be alright. As long as she had them in her life, he knew he didn't have to worry about her being alone.
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Uhhh... Sorry?
- 02nd September, 2019