Chapter 18
MARRON
"Trey." May himig ng pagsaway sa tono ni Nanay. "Don't rush Marron."
"Ang dami ko nang nasayang na oras, 'Nay. I don't have to think about this because since I was twelve, I know that it is Marron that I want to grow old with. I was young but I am so sure. And up until today, that's the decision that I know I'll never regret. My life is for Marron. This life to love and cherish her. I won't marry anyone but her.
Alam ko na nagkamali ako noon. I took her for granted. Masyado akong naging kampante na ako ang mahal n'ya at hindi n'ya ako iiwan. I sacrificed her to be the man that my family needed. I sacrificed us for the businesses and the entire family legacy. Kaya wala po akong ginawa nang magmahal s'ya ng iba. I know that she still loves me, but I didn't do anything because I know that everything's my fault. Wala akong ginawa dahil alam ko na nasaktan ko s'ya. I promised myself that if she fell in love with another man and that love could make her happy, I'll stay away.
When Marron introduced Frigate as her boyfriend, I set her free. I tried finding another woman for me. But I failed. Hindi ko kayang magmahal ng ibang babae tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. When I broke up with Lisanna, I realized that Marron might just settling for what's there for her. Baka hindi s'ya masaya talaga kay Frigate. Baka ako pa din ang mahal n'ya. Baka kahit nasaktan ko s'ya, kaya n'ya pa din akong mahalin at kaya n'ya pa na bigyang pa kami ng isa pang pagkakataon. Baka ako pa din ang makakapagpasaya sa kanya.
I made myself the man who can give the world to her. I right everything in my life. Inayos ko ang buhay ko para maging lalaki na wala na s'yang mahihiling pa. I could give her every luxury in this world. I could offer her anything her heart desires. And most of all, I could give her my time, attention and affection. I made myself the man who could love her the way she deserves to be loved, and more.
When I finally fix things in my life to be the man I want her to have, I tried to get her back. I talked to her. We made love. But in the end, she still decided to be with another man. And it broke me. Nasabi ko na wala na. Hindi na talaga. I was too late.
Gusto ko po na pilitin si Marron. Make her realized that she is meant for me. But the sadness in her eyes made me realized, that insisting on her is only hurting her more. Kaya hinayaan ko na lang. If she wants to be happy with me, she'll choose me. Nang hindi ko s'ya pinipilit.
I settled on the comforting idea that when Frigate massed up, I'll take the opportunity. Kahit maliit na pagkakamali lang, I'll make it enough reason for Marron to not to feel in-debt of that doctor. I'll make it enough for her to choose me.
At ngayon na po ang hinihintay ko na pagkakataon. This is my chance to impose that I could love her better."
Trey was looking straight to my soul while saying those words. And it made my heart swell.
Tama si Nanay na hindi ko dapat madaliin. But why do I feel... free? Bakit parang hinihintay ko lang din ito. Bakit para akong nakalaya?
Kalayaan mula kay Frigate.
"Trey, ni hindi sila nag-break. Nag-walk out lang si Frigate." Ate Casey said.
"He can't stay for Marron. And that's enough reason not to choose him." Kuya Skipper butted in.
"Trey once left Marron for his family too!" Ate Casey fired back.
"It's a different thing. All was shoved into Trey's mouth. He didn't decide for that. Iyon ang kinailangan n'yang gawin noon." Kuya insisted.
"Ito din ang kinailangang gawin ni Frigate! His sister needs him. His family needs him! You're being unfair. We should let Marron hear Frigate's side on this."
"This is supposed to be their engagement party. And the doctor left my sister. Iniwan n'ya si Marron dito para mapahiya. And Trey is here to save her face. What else to think about it?" Kuya's voice rose. "At sabihin man natin na pareho sila ni Trey na nagkamali. Now that they're on even, it's high time for Marron to choose whose sinner to love. Marron won't have to think that the good doctor hadn't do anything to hurt her. She doesn't have to feel guilty anymore. Nasaktan na s'ya kaya okay na din na tapusin na. She's free to choose what she really wants."
"Hindi porke't iyon ang gusto mo, iyon na ang makakapagpasaya sa kapatid mo!"
"And satisfying her guilt won't make Marron happy as well!" Kuya exclaimed. "Of all people, you should know that, Cassidy. You've been there, and you've done that."
Cassidy looked deeply offended that she walked out.
"This is crazy!" Tita Courtney stressed out then she walked out as well.
Tito Nex chuckled. "Well said, Skipper." He sarcastically said then tapped my brother's shoulder. He followed his wife.
Kuya Skipper sighed. "Why is it fine for them to speak their mind, pero kapag ibang tao galit sila?"
Nanay pulled me in a hug. "You don't have to decide now, anak. I'm sure Trey can wait."
"And I will respect whatever her decision will be." Trey sighed then he let go of my hand. "Let's go, Kipp. We have to have your face checked."
"Alright, babe." Kuya dramatically said then he cling onto Trey's arm. "Ang sakit dito, babe. Iganti mo ako d'on, a?"
I watched as Trey laughed without any humor.
"T-Teka!" I grabbed Trey's arm before he could walk out. "I want to clear things out with Frigate first."
Trey smiled at me then nodded. "Okay. I'll wait for you."
"How about the party?" Ram asked. "We'll be the talk of the town if we just dismiss our guests."
"Trey, be man enough for my daughter." Tatay went to us then gave Trey a challenging glare.
Trey looked like he's thinking carefully. He turned to me then sighed. From his pocket, he got a black velvet box.
I gasped and my jaw dropped as he showed me a diamond ring. "Wear this if you still love me and you still believe that I can make you happy."
Tatay was the one who took the ring from the box then slid it on my finger.
"She does love you." Tatay said in a cold tone.
"Matthew Neil!" Nanay slapped Tatay's hand.
"What? Kung si Marron, mag-iisip na naman 'yan. Baka unahin n'ya pa ang ayaw n'ya makasakit kaysa sa makakapagpasaya sa kanya." Tatay rolled his eyes. "Anak, ayaw mo masaktan 'yong doktor. Good 'yan na may concern ka sa iba. Pero 'di mo ba naiisip na sa ginagawa mo, nasasaktan mo na ang sarili mo at nasasaktan mo si Trey? Masakit na pinagtutulakan ka palayo kahit na alam naman ng lahat na ikaw naman ang mahal. At kung papakasal ka sa iba, 'di mo man masaktan si Frigate ngayon, at mapasaya mo s'ya na s'ya ang pinili mo ngayon, masasaktan mo lang din naman s'ya balang-araw. Masasaktan lang kayo parepareho dahil si Trey naman talaga ang mahal mo.
Sigurado ako dahil hindi ka magpapagalaw sa kanya kahit kayo pa ni Frigate kung hindi mo s'ya mahal."
I gasped at my father's words.
"You don't do sex for fun."
"Matthew Neil! Sobra ka na."
"If Marron can't clear her mind, I'll speak for her."
Nag-aaway na sila Nanay at Tatay. Hindi ko na nasundan pa ang mga pinagtalunan nila dahil nawalan ako ng malay.
Sa dami ng mga nangyari at gumugulo sa akin, gusto ko na lang na takasan ang lahat.
When I woke up. I found out that Tatay announced my engagement with Trey.
"I'll fix things for you." Trey promised the next day.
I shook my head. "Ako lang naman ang makakaayos ng lahat."
I know that they're right. Mahal ko si Trey. Pero parang mali na biglang maayos na kami at masaya na kami at ikakasal na.
I have to clear things between Frig and I. I don't want to be unfair with Frigate.
"Marron, when will you stop making things hard for me?" Trey asked in a serious tone. "I get it that I hurt you and he never did. Pero, 'yong ganitong paulit-ulit mo s'yang pinipili kaysa sa akin, Marron, nasasaktan din ako."
"Mahal kita, Trey. Pero h'wag mo akong i-pressure. Kailangan ko na ayusin 'tong kay Frigate. Para sa atin din naman 'to. Para kung ikakasal man tayo, wala nang gulo. We'll close the door of the past."
"Bahala ka."
"You don't have a say on this."
"Yeah. Because what I feel is not consequential to you. All you think about is him. Bawal s'yang masaktan. Ako, ayos lang kasi nasaktan kita. Ayos lang talaga, Marron. Hihintayin na lang kita. Hihintayin ko na lang kung kailan magkakaroon ulit ng halaga sa'yo ang nararamdaman ko.
"I just want to start in a right way! Babalik naman ako sa'yo e. Suot ko na nga 'tong singsing mo. Gusto ko lang makausap si Frigate muna. Isang araw lang naman!"
Nagsukatan kami ng tingin ni Trey. Sa huli ay tumango lang s'ya at umalis na.
"Bakit ang gulo mo?" Tanong ni E
Miel na kanina pa pala nakikinig. "Alam mo, Marron, sa kakaganyan mo, lahat sila masasaktan mo. Kung si Trey ang mahal mo, piliin mo s'ya. Para naman makahanap na ng iba si doc."
"Iyon naman ang gagawin ko."
"Parang gago ka naman kasi. Hinintay mo pa na magkamali si doc. Pinaabot mo pa sa ganito. Para kang si Ate. Maayos naman ang mga bagay, pinakomplikado mo pa." Artamiel smirked. "This is not a fucking fairy tail. Nakakapagod magmahal ng tulad mo. Nagkamali si Trey, pero nagsisi na s'ya at alam na n'ya kung paano itama ang lahat. Mahal mo naman s'ya, kaya h'wag mo na ipagtabuyan pa. Kapag iyan napagod, matutulad 'yan sa'yo. Nagmamahal pero takot nang masaktan. Kaya mo ba na mahalin ang tulad mo?
Dahil hindi nakakapagod ang magmahal. Ang nakakapagod ay 'yong paulit-ulit na masaktan at paulit-ulit na ipapamukha sa'yo ang mga pagkakamali mo na kulang na lang ay magpakamatay ka na sa pagsisisi.
Nakakapagod ka, Marron. Maswerte ka lang na sobra-sobra ang pagmamahal ni Trey sa'yo. The man even killed for you.
Siguro mahal ka din ni Frigate. Pero kung ako ang tatanungin, iba ang pagmamahal ni Trey sa'yo. At alam ko naman na alam mo 'yon.
Natatakot ka lang na aminin na nagkamali ka. Nagkamali ka kay Frigate. Pero ganyan talaga. Yakapin mo ang lahat ng masakit. Patawarin mo na lang ang sarili mo.
Trey tried it with Lisanna and he chose to hurt her to love you again. Why don't you try to do the same? Be honest with yourself."
Artamiel kissed my forehead before he left me in our living room.
And all I think about is...
Nagkamali ako.
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15 September 2019 - 17:38