The smell of strong coffee and Jade and Fern chatting woke me from a dream filled sleep. I had dreamnt I was drowning and that my feet floating over me was the only thing I could see because the water was cold and dark and unforgiving and my skirts were too heavy for me to claw my way to the surface and back to Nathaniel.
I had dreamnt that we had been happy and it was all taken away from us by Abel.
You can be happy again, my wolf purred into my ear, all you have to do is find him.
I nodded in agreement while buttoning up the skirt I had discarded on the floor last night. The postcard was left have crumbled in the trash with words my brother would never see written on it. The door swung open rather easily and I was face to face with that happiness I had been hoping for.
Jade was sat up on the counter with a cup of coffee cupped in her very small hands, the Jackie O dress we had seen yesterday made her look so sophisticated. She sipped it in between smiled of adoration towards Fern who was dressed in a white jumpsuit that flowed around her arms like a cape and barely prohibited her from reaching up to push some of Jade's hair out of her face.
I smiled softly to myself before knocking on the door frame to announce myself to the distracted pair.
"Eve," Jade said happily, jumping off the counter," You have to try these. Fern made them- What are they called again?"
"Crepes."
"Crepes. Here, try the one with bananas and strawberry. It's my favorite."
I took the plate she shoved at me and tried it. It was very good but really something Gwen would like more. Out of the three of us cousins she always preferred fruit. I like chocolate and Jade likes pretty much anything you can put whipped cream on.
"When you've had as much time as I have to learn to cook, you get pretty damn good at making things like this," Fern chuckled from behind her coffee cup. I noted the way it turned her upper lip red and tapped my own to clue her in.
She quickly wiped it with a napkin before Jade could see.
"This place is amazing, E!"
"It is. Hey, Fern. Did you have any luck with your friend?"
She looked over to Jade and Jade looked down. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it wasn't good news.
"He said he wouldn't help us. We have no business messing with affairs from forever ago and what happened in the past should stay in the past."
Anger started to tickle at my toes. I tried to dull it and think about how he was wrong but it just wasn't working. It went up my legs and made my blood boil. We hadn't come thousands of miles and done everything we had done and gone through everything from murder to escaping hired bounty hunters to stop now.
"You can tell him I won't stop looking for my mate so either he can help me or he can watch me tear through all of Dublin looking for him because I will find him."
I didn't get a chance to see either of their reactions because I was already slamming the door.
_
Every step on the sidewalk felt like hot coals under my feet. Those maryjanes didn't hurt it was the feeling of pain everywhere. Pollution. Heart break. Robbery. Murder. Assault. Disappointment. Broken hope. Everywhere, it was inescapable.
I don't want to escape it, though. I want to go into the fire because the fire makes me stronger. It gives me power while it swallows others whole because I am no phoenix and I am no dragon. I am a pure and unabiding flame.
Right now I am burning through the streets; looking, praying, hoping for anything even similar to a mate. Wouldn't ya know, I didn't find it.
What I found was a trail of darkness following me and my roots getting darker in every shop window I passed but there's no stopping that now. I have to follow thee darkness to find the light. It's the only thing that makes sense.
The darkness led me further and further down every street, causing chaos and uproar everywhere I went. I don't want to do this but there are so few choices left.
You have to do this. This is what you were made to do.
"Stop it."
I turned another corner and caught sent of something I wanted deeply.
The smell sunk into every pore and when I turned to look at it all hope I had that it was my mate disappeared. It was a bar fight.
It was a bar fight.