Chapter 17
Marron
Tonight is my engagement party. I am feeling nervous.
"Marron, okay ka lang ba?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Ate Casey nang pasukin n'ya ako sa silid ko.
Nilingon ko s'ya at pilit akong tumango. "Medyo kabado lang ako."
Truth is, I don't know if this is really what I want. Hindi pa 'to kasal, pero ganito na ako.
'No, Marron, you know what you want. You just can't let go of that guilt.'
Yes. I can't hurt Frigate. Hindi kaya ng konsensya ko.
"You look so beautiful tonight." Ate Casey gently smiled at me. Inayos n'ya ang diamond necklace ko at hinaplos ang braso ko. "H'wag kang kabahan."
Nang mag-debut ako ay nasa ospital si Tita Maine kaya hindi namin magawang mag-celebrate. Simpleng dinner lang ang ginawa namin noon. I was not on the mood to party when I graduated kaya wala ding ganito. Nang pumasa ako sa board exam, second take ko na kaya ayoko din ng party. Kung maghahanda man para sa birthday ko, palaging sa bar o kung saan man. Ngayon lang ako magkakaroon ng party na ganitong kagara at dito sa mansyon gagawin.
I pouted. "This is the first time that a party this grand is for me. Saka isa ako sa pinakatahimik na Vergara. Ngayon lang din malalaman ng lahat ang tungkol sa amin ni Frig. Tapos engagement agad."
Mahinhin na humagikgik si Ate Casey. "Hindi ka kasi sumasama sa mga social events. Hindi tuloy naipapakilala si Frigate na boyfriend mo. Pero okay lang, Marron. People were always drawn in mysteries. And Frigate is someone you can be proud of. Hold your chin up high. You're beautiful and this party is for you."
I smiled back at my cousin. She's really a charmer. Parang minsan ang hirap maniwala na anak s'ya ni Tita Courtney at ni Tito Nexiel. Parang mas bagay silang magkapatid ni Nixon kaysa sa kapatid n'ya si Elai. Parang mas si Castiel pa ang anak ni Tita Courtney.
"Kanino ka kaya nagmana?" Wala sa sarili na tanong ko kay Ate Casey.
"Sabi nila, kaugali ko daw si Lola Nat." She proudly said.
I giggled. "Baka ampon ka."
Umirap s'ya. "Baka nga. Ako lang kasi ang mabait na Vergara sa generation natin."
Wala namang kontra doon. Malayo si Kuya sa pagiging mabait. Si Ram ay tahimik pero may kamandag. Si Candice, naglayas. Si Artamiel, malakas ang topak. Si Eladriel, may isang gallon na dugo ni Satanas. Si Nixon, parang matandang binata sa kasungitan. Si Kuya Nexus, daig pa ang kunehong in heat n'ong binata s'ya. Ako, alam ko na hindi ako mabait.
Sinamahan ako ni Ate Casey sa kwarto at dinaldal ako hanggang sa mawala na ang isip ko sa kaba ko. Lumabas lang kami ng silid ko nang may kumatok na kasambahay sa pinto ko at sinabi na dumating na si Frigate kasama ang pamilya n'ya.
"Your prince is there." Ate Casey grinned at me.
I smiled then we left my room. Ilang hakbang pa lang paglabas ng silid ko ay nakasalubong namin si Trey. Nag-aalalang binalingan ako ni Ate Casey. I acted casually.
I can feel my heart skipping some beats. He still have his effects on me. I haven't seen him in months. He changed. I can see how indifferent he is now.
"Hey." Trey started. He's in an all-black suit with a glass of liquor in one hand. He grew some stubbles and his eyes look fierce. He looked ruthlessly handsome and serious. "Congratulations on your engagement." He said in a formal tone then he walked pass us.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Ate Casey.
"Well, we can't expect him to be happy for you, Marron. At least he's acting civil." Ate Casey comforted. "In this life, you can't expect everything to be on your favor."
I took a deep breath then forced myself to smile. Itinuloy na lang namin ang pagbaba ng hagdan.
Sa sala ay nakita namin ang pamilya ni Frigate. Mrs. Harriet Santillana looked regal in her old rose evening gown. Si Hannah naman ay naka baby pink lacy cocktail gown. Kausap na sila nina Nanay at Tatay.
"Woah. You look so beautiful." Frigate murmured as he approached me. He held me in the waist then kissed my cheek.
He's in a three piece tuxedo with old rose bow tie. He's so handsome and look so neat. Bagay na bagay maging doktor.
"Pakitawag ang mga anak ko." Narinig ko na utos ni Nanay.
"This is my daughter, Hannah." Pakilala ni Tita Harriet.
Mukhang hindi kumportable si Hannah. Bakas sa kanya ang pagkailang.
"Pasensya na. Medyo mahiyain po ang kapatid ko." Singit ni Frigate at nilapitan ang kapatid. Nagbibigay ng suporta.
"Hello, hija." Nanay gently said. "Mukha s'yang manhika, Mrs. Santillana."
Tita Harriet looked proud. "She is my living doll."
"It made me miss my youngest." Nanay sighed.
"Hindi ko pa nga nakikilala ang mga kapatid ni Marron." Tita said then frowned at me.
"Oh! Here's one." Nanay smiled. She motioned Marjoram.
My brother stood next to our parents with Lavi at his arms.
"This is Marjoram and his daughter Lavender." Pakilala ni Nanay.
"Good evening po." Magalang na bati ni Ram. Si Lavi naman ay ngumiti at kumaway nang bahagya. Nagpababa s'ya at inabot ang kamay ni Tita Harriet para magmano. Mukhang natuwa naman si Tita sa pamangkin ko.
"Ang bait na bata." Magiliw na sabi ni Tita.
"She's only three." Tatay proudly said then he lifted his granddaughter up.
"Ram, this is Tita Harriet, Frigate's mother, and Hannah." Nanay introduced.
"Hello, nice to meet you." Ram smiled in a formal way. He extended his hand to Hannah.
Nagulat kaming lahat nang bumalatay ang takot sa mukha ni Hannah at mabilis na sumiksik s'ya sa gilid ni Frig.
Ram looked offended. Naguguluhang tumingin s'ya sa amin at mabilis na binawi ang kamay n'ya. Umtras din s'ya at doon lang kumalma si Hannah.
"I'm sorry." Mahinang sabi ni Hannah na halos bulong na. Nanginig din ang boses n'ya.
I cleared my throat. Alam naman nila Nanay ang sitwasyon ni Hannah.
"Ahm." Nanay tried to smile. "My youngest, Candice, is abroad right now. She's busy and can't make it to this party. My eldest is already on the way. He's with his wife and in-laws."
"Hello!" Tita Courtney came with Tito Nex, Artamiel and Elai. "It's nice to see you again, Harriet!" Nag-beso-beso s'ya kay Tita Harriet. Nang bumaling s'ya kay Hannah ay namilog ang mga mata n'ya. "You must be Hannah." Tita Court smiled. "You look so beautiful, hija!"
Nahihiyang ngumiti at nagpasalamat si Hannah. Mukhang gumaan ang pakiramdam n'ya kay Tita Courtney.
"Oh! You already know my husband, Nexiel." Tita Court continued. Si Tito Nex ay nakipagkamay sa Mommy ni Frig. "That's my firstborn and unica hija, Cassidy." Tita pointed Ate Casey. Tita pointed at the far end of the mansion. "And that's her husband and two sons. Ipakikilala ko din mamaya." Tita pulled Artamiel. "This is Artamiel."
"Good evening, Madame." Artamiel charmingly said. Before he could flirt with Hannah, Tita Courtney already pushed him backward.
"And this is my pahabol na anak, Eladriel." Tita giggled.
"Thanks, mother, for the wonderful introduction." Elai sarcastically said.
We laughed a little.
"It's a delight that you have a big family. Sa amin kasi ay tipid magsipag-anak at sa pamilya naman ng asawa ko ay madaming mga tumandang binata at dalaga dahil mas mahalaga ang propesyon."
And that's what we're most proud of. Our tight-knit family bond.
"Tito Miel!" Guin came running towards her favourite uncle. "I want a scorpion! Buy me a dozen."
Artamiel picked Guin up then kissed her forehead. "We'll buy tomorrow, princess."
"I'm not a princess. Dada said I'm a little queen." Guin pouted.
Artamiel chuckled. "Sure, our little tyrant queen."
"What's tyrant?" Guin frowned.
Tita Court cleared her throat. "This is our granddaughter Guinevere."
"Calliope Guinevere Vergara." Guin corrected with a raised brow. "I'm the little queen."
"With a big attitude." Elai butted in.
"She's so cute." Tita Harriet commented.
"I'm not cute. I'm regal." Guin corrected. She's frowning but then her mouth formed an 'O'. "Po." She quickly added. "I'm regal po." She's stressing her 'po'.
Oh, my crazy family.
"Mama Mira!" Guin exclaimed. Agad-agad na nagpababa s'ya at sumalubong sa mga bagong dating.
Tito Tee's family entered our living room. Kuya's with them.
"Oh, here's my eldest." Nanay smiled.
"No!" Hannah suddenly panicked. "No! No! No!" She cried frantically.
Lahat kami ay naguluhan at nabigla.
"Hannah!" Tita Harriet panicked with her daughter.
Frigate tried to calm his sister down but Hannah forcefully pushed her brother away. Hinablot n'ya ang isang vase at nagulat kami nang tumakbo s'ya kay Kuya at hinataw n'ya 'yon sa mukha ni Kuya.
"You're a demon!" Hannah cried. "You're a demon, Clint!"
"Hey!" Tricia pushed Hannah away then attended to my brother who got his head bleeding.
Hannah stumbled on the floor. Frigate and Tita Harriet was quick to be on her side. Pumagitna na ako sa kanila at kay Kuya. Hannah is shaking in fear and rage while my brother is frowning in confusion.
My family was quick to take the kids away. Ang natira na lang ay sila Nanay, Tatay, Tito Nex at Tita Court. Si Tita Mira ay umalis din para ilayo si Guin.
"Your brother is Clint?" Frigate asked me.
Naguguluhan man ay tumango na din ako. "Kuya's name is Skipper Clint."
"That's him, Mommy." Parang batang sumbong ni Hannah at yakap na yakap sa Nanay n'ya.
"W-What's happening?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
Kumuyom ang panga ni Frigate. Ngayon ko lang s'ya nakitang galit. Kahit nang may nagawa akong kasalanan sa kanya ay hindi s'ya nagalit sa akin. Pero ngayoon, mukhang namumuhi s'ya habang nakatingin kay Kuya.
"Hayop ka!"
I was stunned when Frigate charged at my brother. Bumagsak si Kuya sa lakas ng suntok ni Frigate.
Pinigilan s'ya ni Tatay at Tito Nex nang akmang susugod pa ulit s'ya. Nakayakap na sa gilid ko si Nanay.
"Hold your Ate." Mariing utos ni Tito Tee kay Theo. "Explain, Skipper."
"I don't know, Dad!" Kuya spat out the blood in his mouth then he pushed himself up. I was about to throw myself at him to stop him from attacking Frigate when Trey stopped him.
"Hold your horses, man." Trey calmly said. "You're scaring your wife."
Mukhang nakalimutan na ni Kuya na galit s'ya dahil bigla s'yang sinuntok. Agad na nilapitan n'ya si Tricia na puno ng pag-aalala. "Are you alright, baby? I'm okay. Don't worry."
Trey sighed then he faced the raging Frigate. "What is that for?"
"Kulang pa 'yan sa putang inang lalaking 'yan!" Frigate hissed. He's far from the calm doctor I knew. He's beyond furious.
"Watch your mouth. You don't insult Nanay Cleo in this house." Trey warned.
"You think I care?" Frigate smirked. "That asshole violated my sister!"
Mas lumakas ang hagulgol ni Hannah.
"What? I don't even know you!" Kuya exclaimed. "And I never violated any woman. I'm not a rapist."
"Frigate, can we all calm down and talk about it?" Tatay said.
"How can we calm down? That demon tainted my daughter and left her after getting in her pants!" Tita Harriet said. S'ya naman ang sumugod kay Kuya at pinagsasampal ang kapatid ko.
"I don't know who you are, but Skipper is my son now." Tito Tee said. "We'll press charges for this."
"At kayo pa ang magkakaso?! Ang kapal ng mukha n'yo." Akmang sasampalin ni Tita Harriet si Tito Tee nang pigilan ni Tiana ang kamay n'ya.
"You don't hurt my father." Tiana said. "Let's get out of this scandal. It's not good for Ate's heart."
"Don't wanna hear about Kuya Kipp's 'rape case'?" Theo asked. They sure don't take this seriously.
"I'm sure that's a delusion." Tiana said in a sure tone. "Come on, Ate. Let's just wait on the garden. We're here for an engagement party, not for a circus."
Tito Tee agreed and forced his daughter to go with them. "You stay here and fix your mess, Skipper." Bilin n'ya kay Kuya at umalis na sila ng mga anak n'ya.
Nagwawala pa din si Hannah at Tita Harriet. Nabasag na nila ang ilang vase at figurines ng mansyon namin. Si Frigate ay pilit na kumakawala para manugod kay Kuya. Si Kuya ay pinipigilan ni Trey na sumunod sa asawa n'ya at sa pagsugod kay Frigate.
I sobbed. This is a mess.
"Calm down!" Dada's voice echoed in the living room.
Natigilan ang mga tao maliban kay Hannah na patuloy ang malakas na iyak. Inaawat s'ya nila Ate Casey at Tita Courtney.
"Skipper, ano'ng atraso mo sa pamilya nila?" Dada asked.
"I don't know Dada!"
"You don't know?" Dada looked mad. "Look around you, boy. This house was built and design by my parents. Pinaghirapan 'to ng Lolo at Lola n'yo. Nakita mo ba kung gaano nasira ang sala. These were not just material things! These are memories from our ancestors. And we wished to pass these down to generations but everything were shattered! And you're telling us that you don't know?"
"Bakit ako?" Kuya spat out. "Those freaks did that! Marron, ano ba 'yang papakasalan mo? Mga baliw!"
Nakakawala si Frigate at mabilis na sumugod s'ya kay Kuya. Muling tumama ang kamao n'ya sa mukha ni Kuya pero ngayon ay mabilis na nakaganti si Kuya. Gaganti pa ulit si Frig pero tinulak na s'ya ni Trey at mabilis itong pumigil sa sugod ni Kuya.
"Kipp, if they can't calm down, you should!" Trey shouted at my brother.
"E tang ina, Trey. Hindi ko nga alam e! Hindi ko sila kilala. At kahit kailan hindi ako namilit ng babae. Ano'ng rape?" Galit na sabi ni Kuya at namumuhi na din s'yang tumingin kay Frigate. "Ang lakas ng loob n'yo na magalit at mag-akusa. Kayo ang nanggugulo dito. Nagsira kayo ng mga gamit dito sa bahay namin. Nag-aakusa kayo na rapist ako. May sakit sa puso ang asawa ko! Kapag inatake 'yon, hindi ako titigil hanggang hindi kayo nagbabayad."
"Ang kapal ng mukha mo!" Hannah cried then charged at my brother.
Hinawakan ni Kuya ang magkabilang palapulsuhan ni Hannah. "Sino ka ba?"
Humagulgol si Hannah.
"Tang ina. H'wag mo akong iyakan!"
Hinila ni Frigate ang kapatid n'ya at ikinubli sa likod n'ya.
"Hindi mo maalala? Pinaglaruan mo ang kapatid ko. She's living a simple life but you wrecked everything." Frigate said, with voice shaking with rage. "She just entered college. A nursing student. She's living a typical college life, but you flirted with her. You're years older with her. You manipulated her mind and pretended your lust was love to fuck her!"
"That was never me! Gago! Babae ang lumalapit sa akin." Kuya wiped the blood on his forehead. "I won't deny that there were things I wasn't proud of. Gago ako dati. Mapaglaro ako sa mga babae. Pero kahit kailan ay hindi ako namilit. May Nanay ako at mga kapatid na babae ako. Hindi ko aabusuhin kahit sinong babae. Lahat ng naka-sex ko willing. Wala akong pinilit. Kaya mag-ingat ka sa mga paratang n'yo dahil ang laking eskandalo ng ginagawa n'yo."
"You're Clint!" Hannah insisted. "I did nothing but to love you. I gave you everything. I gave you my body. But you left me."
"Body is not everything, miss." Kuya sighed. "I honestly don't know you. Kung isa ka man sa mga naka-sex ko dati na umasang may higit pa sa sex, sorry. I never lead a woman on. I made it clear na sex lang."
"Paano mo nakalimutan? You're my first." Hannah cried.
Mukhang napapaisip si Kuya.
"Gago." Mahinang sabi ni Trey.
"Ah. You're that?" Kaswal na sabi ni Kuya na ikinagalit ni Frigate. Muli s'yang sumugod pero naharang na s'ya ni Ram.
"Sobra ka na." Sabi ni Ram.
"Si Lavi?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Nanay na kanina pa umiiyak sa tabi ko.
"Kay Tatay. Stressed na daw s'ya." Sagot ng kapatid ko.
Ngayon ko lang napansin na wala na sila Tatay. Ang nasa sala na lang ay ang pamilya ni Frig, si Tita Court, Nanay, Ram, Kuya, Trey, at ako.
"You're that woman. Ikaw ang sunod nang sunod sa akin. You even offered a one night stand. I refused your offer. Sabi ko mukha kang nene. 'Di ko na maalala kung paano pero may nangyari nga sa atin. When I discovered I'll be your first, di ko na tinuloy. I left you on that hotel. Wala namang nangyari talaga. Foreplay lang, 'di ba? Kasi n'ong nakita ko na may hymen, ayooko na.
Lalaki akong may pangangailangan pero 'di ko 'yon kukunin sa'yo. Naniniwala kasi ako na espesyal 'yon sa mga babae. At 'di 'yon magiging mahalaga sa akin kasi 'di naman kita mahal. Kaya walang nangyari."
"Schizophrenia." I murmured. "That's your sister's case." I cried.
"And she's making everything up. You know it yet you're letting yourself be blinded by the facade of protecting her. Can you really call yourself a doctor?" Trey smirked.
"No!" Hannah lose consciousness.
Frigate lifted his sister up. He looks so worried for her.
"There will be no wedding. I can never let my son marry someone from the family of the man who ruined my daughter's life." Tita Harriet announced.
I sobbed. Nanay held me tighter. "It will be alright."
I waited for Frigate to look at me and give me assurance. But he didn't. Walang imik na umalis s'ya buhat ang kapatid n'ya. Ilang sandali na tumitig pa ng masama si Tita Harriet kay Kuya bago s'ya sumunod.
Humiwalay si Nanay sa akin at nagmamadaling dinaluhan si Kuya na dumudugo ang ulo na hinataw ni Hannah ng vase, at putok ang labi at maga ang pisngi sa suntok ni Frigate.
"'Di mo man lang ako pinagtanggol." Sumbat ni Kuya. Hindi ko alam kung kanino.
Kanya-kanyang usap na sila. Pero pakiramdam ko ay naiwan na akong mag-isa.
I found myself taking steps. I want to talk to Frigate.
"Stop it, Marron." Trey stopped me.
I cried on his chest.
"It's the end of it all. Come back to me, Love." He whispered then I felt him kissing the crown of my head. "Kaya ka lang naman hindi makaalis sa kanya dahil ayaw mo s'yang saktan. He was a good man that you can't bring yourself to hurt him. You don't love him, Love. You're just thankful. Pakiramdam mo lang na may utang na loob ka sa kanya. Pero ako ang mahal mo. Ako lang, Marron Ninel. And now, he set you free. You're free now to choose me. You're free now to choose the one that you really love."
What to do?
"Do you love me, Marron?" Trey asked as he held me in his arms.
I untangled myself from Trey. I looked around and I saw my family watching us.
"Do you love me, Marron?" Trey asked once more.
I bit my lip. Damn. I do. He's right. Frigate is my calmness. He's giving me peace of mind. I tried to settle for that. Pero ngayon na nagkakagulo na. There's no calmness. No peace of mind. And after what happened, there will be a rift between our families.
I am a selfish woman. But this conflict made a way for me to get out of Frig's hand. I tried to break up with him, but he refused. Hindi ko na na-insist dahil hindi ko alam kung paano. He's too good para saktan ko lang.
"You don't love him, Marron. You loved the ideal relationship he provided. You didn't stay with him because you love him. You stayed with him because you felt in-debt for his affection for you. His happiness is not your responsibility. It's your happiness that you're responsible of."
I sobbed. Bakit mas kilala pa ako ni Trey kaysa sa sarili ko?
"Marron Ninel, do you love me?"
"You're brainwashing her." Kuya Skipper commented.
"Should we call the party off?" Tita Courtney asked.
"No, Tita. It's an engagement party." Trey announced. "We'll push it through."
_____________
01 September 2019