Reason 10. . .
Xiao Zhan never arrived at that day or the following day or even the next day after that. Wang Yibo was worried since Xiao Zhan never gave him an update. He also felt frustrated, maybe Xiao Zhan actually cut all of their connections and didn't want to talk to him anymore. He didn't get to show him his painting.
Everyday, Wang Yibo would visit the galleria, asking if Xiao Zhan passed by or something but the answer is always, negative. But that didn't stop him. He still hopes that he'll eventually come one day.
Riding in his motorbike as he went pass the busy streets, he made a turn and arrived at the galleria once again. He stepped down and approached the guard, "Did he come?" Wang Yibo asked.
"Ah, I'm sad to say sir, he didn't come today as well," the gaurd replied and Wang Yibo just gave him a polite nod and went inside. People were visiting the studio from time to time, taking pictures, writing articles and discussing about the paintings displayed.
What everyone wanted to know was, what was hidden under the black cloth? No one dared to move it, since there was also a warning sign. Wang Yibo checked the room where it was placed and some people were standing there and talking about it.
"Did the artist make this as well? How come it's still covered?"
"I know right? The opening has been a week," a woman said as she talked with her colleagues.
"Didn't you know that the artist never came at the opening?"
"Seriously? How come?" A man question as they kept talking with lowered voices and Wang Yibo is listening to them, not too far.
"I'm not sure, some say something happened to him and I also heard he was a lovely gentleman!" Another woman said as she squealed. Wang Yibo frowned at her sentence and approached the group of people talking.
"Excuse me," he starts, "Do you know more about what happened to him?" All the people in the group turned to the person who spoke and gasped. "Oh my! A-Aren't you, Wang-ge!?" A girl squealed.
Maybe it was a bad idea to ask them. The other people who heard the girl squealed, immediately, people started swarming around Wang Yibo.
"Wang Yibo oppa!"
"Kyahh! It's really him!"
"Can we take a picture?"
Wang Yibo excused himself and immediately fled out of the room as other people were following him. He rushed out of the building and quickly rode his motorbike.
"Ah he got away!" his fan girls disappointedly said.
As Wang Yibo drove his motorbike, he went straight back home and sighed. Where are you, Xiao Zhan?
Upon arriving at his house, he threw his keys at the couch and went outside the balcony. Taking a bit of fresh air with a deep inhale and then exhaled.
He sat down on one of the reclining chairs outside and took out his phone. It seems that Fangxin isn't home yet. Too bored to scroll down to his social media, he opened his gallery. He saw some pictures when they were still planning out and making the galleria. He kept swiping through the screen when suddenly he saw a very familiar face.
It was Xiao Zhan. Smiling so genuinely and his cute bunny teeth were showing. His eyes were crecent as he smiled and his pretty features were looking elegant. Xiao Zhan was glowing, he looked so happy like he wasn't the crying man who Wang Yibo was facing everytime they talk or argue. He felt mixed emotions swell inside him, his chest ached as he felt it twist for an unknown reason.
Fangxin must have taken the picture when he borrowed Wang Yibo's phone. Yibo felt like an idiot. Why is he even looking at his ex's picture for 5 minutes straight? It's not like he'll suddenly appear if he did stare any longer. He was about to put his phone down when suddenly, his phone rang and vibrated. Zhang Fangxin is suddenly calling him. He picked it up and answered.
"Fangxin? What is it?" Wang Yibo asked as he sat up.
"Father!" Fangxin cried from the other line.
"What happened?" Yibo asked with a hint of worry in his voice. "Do you know where Zhan-ge is?"
"No," Wang Yibo answered, "He didn't tell me anything."
"F-Father, Zhan-ge is..." Fangxin's words died down as he whispered something. But Wang Yibo heard every single word and couldn't help but widen his eyes.
Wang Yibo immediately took his coat and dashed outside his house. He quickly went inside his car and started the engine. His hands felt sweaty as he tightly gripped the stirring wheel, he didn't even get to end the call with Fangxin as he immediately threw his phone in the front seat.
Wang Yibo drove down town as fast as he could, not bothering about the traffic rules. He never felt so anxious before and his heart was racing.
He arrived at the building and quickly got off his car. Wang Yibo ran to the entrance and asked the people in white for a person he's been looking for.
Most of them answered that they don't know until someone replied and pointed him at a direction.
Wang Yibo couldn't wait any longer at the elevator and quickly took the stairs. He was catching his breath with all the running but he can't afford to lose a minute. Not even a second.
Upon arriving, the door was obviously locked and the light on top wasn't turned on, it was to indicate if the room was being used or not. He dumbly stood in front of door and thought, why is it lock and no one is using it?
"Excuse me, sir?" A woman's voice was heard behind him. Wang Yibo turned around and faced her. "Yes?"
"Are you Yibo?" She asked. Wang Yibo doesn't know if he should answer or not. He doesn't know who she is and how did she know his name. But in the end he answered.
"Ah, it's nice to finally meet you," she said as she smiled at him. "I've heard a lot about you-"
"Where is he?" Wang Yibo cut her off before she could finish her sentence. As she heard those words, she avoided his gaze. Wang Yibo felt like his a wave of uneasiness hit him. "I asked you, where is he?"
"Where was he?" She whispered.
Wang Yibo felt his world crumble and every noise he was hearing seemed to disappear like he'd gone deaf. He gulped slowly as his adam's apple moved in his throat. His hands started to sweat even more and now he suddenly felt so suffocated and trapped. "I'm asking you one more time, where is he?" Wang Yibo asked rather loudly this time.
"I don't think you want to go there," she croaked out. "Just take this, come back when you're done," the woman said as she handed a soft pastel red notebook and an old looking camera with a few scratches in it. "I told you-"
"Please! Do it for him!" The woman pleaded with a shakey voice as tears were starting to form on her brown orbs. Wang Yibo couldn't say anything and the woman immediately left as Yibo received the items.
Where is he? Why can't he see him? What is happening?
It was Wang Yibo's turn to wonder. It was his turn to have a million questions in his head without receiving any reasons.
Wang Yibo went back to the parking lot with a heavy heart, it seemed that things didn't sink in yet. He felt extremely numb and sat inside his car.
He traced the camera with his finger and turned it on. It's actually an old looking camera that Xiao Zhan used to film and take pictures when they were back in college, that's why it looked so familiar. Wang Yibo didn't know it still works.
Upon opening it, there were a series of videos, about 5 videos in total. He checked the dates and started with the oldest one. The oldest video was back from December 18, 2018. They still didn't break up yet. How come he never knew about this?
He pressed the play button and immediately Xiao Zhan appeared in a place looking like a clinic.
"Mr. Zhan, it's already filming," a woman's voice said, it seems like she's the one holding the camera. Xiao Zhan laughed a little and Wang Yibo felt a pang in his chest.
"Ah? Is that so? You started too early!" Xiao Zhan said as he fixed himself. "Alright, first of all, you're wondering why I'm filming this. Hello, uh, Yibo," he starts as he looked directly at the camera. "You may also be wondering where am I, well, I'm at the clinic! So today, I was feeling a bit dizzy and not feeling well," Xiao Zhan continued, "And I was diagnosed with..." Xiao Zhan paused and looked away at the camera for a while. "Phenylketonuria. Never heard of that before? So did I," Xiao Zhan said with a laugh. "Mr. Zhan..." the woman said worriedly. "It's okay, Mianmian," he said.
"Guess what, Yibo? I already had Phenylketonuria since I was born, it's genetic error actually. It's a condition in which my body cannot break down one of the amino acids found in proteins. Which is the phenylalanine," Xiao Zhan explained. "That's why my mother doesn't want me to keep eating sweets and especially chocolates."
As Wang Yibo heard those words, he tightly held the camera and felt his heart ached. Then why do you keep eating chocolates?
"I can't seem to bring up this topic to you since you always give me a lot of chocolates and I sincerely appreciate them. You're too sweet," Xiao Zhan said with a genuine smile. "That's why I'm filming myself, just in case, if something happens. Haha! Don't worry though! So that's it for now, bye!" He said as he waved goodbye at the camera.
Wang Yibo immediately turned to the next video. The video started with a white background, there was bit of clacking noise until finally someone appeared in front of the camera. It was Xiao Zhan looking tired and sleep deprived. "Ah, hello. It's me again," Xiao Zhan started, "I went back to the clinic again and the doctor said I'm a bit weak. I wasn't listening to his instructions to fix my diet," he said with a dry laugh. "Yibo, sorry for keeping this from you, I just don't want you to be worried. It's nothing serious at all, I promise," Xiao Zhan stated as he rubbed his eyes."Also, I wanna question why you left so early?" He said with a pout. "Anyways, I'm feeling tired so I'll stop the video right here." The video immediately ended and he clicked for the 3rd one.
"Yibo, are you surprised that the background is different this time?" Xiao Zhan asked as he was holding the camera in one hand. It looked like he was in the park. "I just went from the clinic and the doctor said I'm doing well! I'm gonna celebrate with some ice-cream, don't tell him," he said with a chuckle.
"Mianmain isn't here to accompany me today, besides, I'm working on a very special piece today. I wanna sketch it out first," Xiao Zhan said as he continued to walk and immediately arrived at a near by bench. Sitting down, he said, "Hey, Yibo, since you've been quite busy with being an actor, I'm feeling a bit lonely, so hug me when you see me," Xiao Zhan said happily and laughed. The video ended and Wang Yibo switched to the next and he felt a wave of emotions hit him. Xiao Zhan was keeping a lot of secrets from him and he never felt so betrayed. But who was he to complain? Wasn't he the same? Keeping secrets and not giving any reasons.
"Hello! It's me, Xiao Zhan! Guess what?" A Xiao Zhan with red and puffy eyes said in front of the camera. His voice has a hint of deep sarcasm as he rolled his eyes. "Fuck you, Wang Yibo! Can't believe you broke up with me for no reason!"
"Ah shit, I just got home and now I caught a cold, I was on my way to the doctor today when you suddenly called and then did that," Xiao Zhan said angrily and huffed. His hair was wet and so was his clothes.
He stayed in the rain? Wang Yibo thought and he felt even more guilty.
"Well, don't worry about me. I said that a few times, right? In my earlier videos? Guess you won't be seeing this video either. I wouldn't be so angry if you gave me a valid reason!"
"I'll give you a parting gift," he said as he wiped his hair with a towel, "I'll write 10 fucking reasons why people shouldn't fall in love with you in this damn notebook!" Xiao Zhan angrily said and showed a soft pastel red notebook in front of the camera.
"I'm gonna show everyone how a jerk and a weirdo you can be!" The video ended and there was the last video. Wang Yibo looked at the date and was surprised. It was from 3 days ago. Wang Yibo felt very anxious all of the sudden. This was the last video. The very last.
He played it with a click of the button. Xiao Zhan immediately flashed on screen. As Wang Yibo saw him, he couldn't help but feel his heart break into a million of pieces. Hot tears started to form in his eyes as he look at the man on the screen. His shoulders shook as he stopped himself from crying, he felt extremely bothered and suffocated as he couldn't help but do nothing.
The man was sitting in a hospital bed with an oxygen tank supporting his breathing and some machines at his side. He looked horribly pale and extremely weak. It was such a painful sight and his heart clenched and couldn't hold on any longer, the tears streamed down his face.
"Mr. Zhan it's now filming," Mianmian's voice said and Xiao Zhan nodded. "Hello, Wang Yibo. You may be wondering what happened. It seems that not only Phenylketonuria is my sickness but also a heart disease that was just diagnosed about 2 months ago. My chest has been hurting a lot lately. But anyway, I want to start off with, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for not appearing at the opening of the galleria. I collasped at my apartment at 5:00 AM in the morning that day, I was immediately rushed at the hospital and now I look like this, I've always wanted to see what you were gonna show me," he paused for a while with a cough. "But I also want to say sorry for being petty everytime we meet, I'm just so salty that we broke up, okay?" He said with a laugh barely audible.
"Yes, I still didn't move on. I tried but I can't. I'm so sorry for that."
"Stop apologizing," Wang Yibo whispered to himself. "And sorry that I didn't contact you. I just didn't want you to come here seeing me like this, since I look very pathetic," Xiao Zhan stated as he was trying to hold back his tears. "And lastly, sorry for keeping this from you. I was too scared to see your face, but I was glad we manage to have a good talk before I left at the galleria."
"Mister Zhan..." Mianmian said at the background. "Anyways, I've always wanted to tell you that I'll never be sorry that I fell in love with you. Just don't blame yourself if things didn't work out like the way they are now. Also, if you're actually watching this, thank you," Xiao Zhan as he started crying, "T-Thank you, really, for listening to me for the last time."
The video ended with a black screen and Wang Yibo is silently crying as he slowly leaned on the stirring wheel. His heart hurts so bad and it was hard to breathe, his nose is running and tears kept flowing. This wasn't the future he asked for.
Remembering the notebook, he picked it up and opened it. Indeed it was titled 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Fall in Love with Wang Yibo. He flipped through the pages and read every single reason that was written until he stopped at the very last page.
• • •
Soft and creamy white hands were shaking. His chest felt tight and tears were forming in his eyes and he was on the verge of crying.
He really is a stupid man. Why can't he stop loving the man that hurt him so much? Why is he still thinking about him?
Closing the notebook slowly, he heaved a soft exhale. "I wonder what is he doing right now," the man said quietly.
A knock was heard from the door. "Come in," the man sitting in his hospital bed said softly. With a clicking sound, the door opened and a nurse came in. "Mr. Zhan, are you ready?"
Xiao Zhan smiled and glanced at the window from a far for a while. Then answered, "Let's take the chance?"
• • •
Before entering the operating room, he said with a voice barely audible, "Don't forget to give it to him."
• • •
He read the last reason and he couldn't help but cry even harder, even though his heart and mindwas already breaking and hurting too much, he can't stop the amount of emotions he felt as he cried.
Wang Yibo immediately started the engine and drove back to the galleria. He saw a note saying, Go back and see my greatest masterpiece.
Upon arriving at the galleria, he didn't stop to greet the guard, he didn't care if he hit other people as he dashed towards inside. He was like a mad man searching for something, people were looking at him and gave him weird looks as he quickly paced inside. Finally arriving at the room where the huge canvas is covered with a black cloth.
More tears were flowing as he stepped closer. Wang Yibo didn't give a flying fuck if people looked at him or took pictures of him. His reputation isn't important, someone is more important and that's Xiao Zhan.
He removed the black cloth in one pull and immediately fell down on his knees. It was a painting. A painting of him.
Wang Yibo shouted as he cried out loud in front of the wonderfully painted portrait. The people in the vacinity were all surprised and couldn't help but feel sympathy.
Why didn't you tell me you were suffering all this time? Why do you have to keep it to yourself? Why do you need to pretend that you're strong? Wang Yibo's thoughts ran wild as he cried helplessly on the floor. If you were to see it with your own eyes, a scene like that will surely make someone cry.
• • •
I know I said 10 Reasons, but I can't bring myself to push those reasons to stop someone from loving him. Because I, Xiao Zhan, still fell in love with this very man. All those 10 reasons are part of him and that will never change, he won't be Wang Yibo without those reasons, and I love him for that. Everyone has faults and no one is perfect. I had fun, Wang Yibo. Thank you for everything and I love you.
Reason 10. Wang Yibo is the best man you could ever love.