Fushimi Inari, Kyoto
(03:20pm)
It was so crowded here. Had it always been like this?
We were at Fushimi Inari Shrine, where the famous thousands of vibrant orange torii gates were. If you walk through those gates and reach the top of the mountain, you'd see the whole of Kyoto. Besides that, the Shrine was huge.
Jin Yeong flashed me an encouraging smile, after seeing the uneasy expression on my face. How did he manage to convince me to go with him today?
He nodded towards the shrine, and said, "Let's pray."
We headed towards the bells and stood by each rope. I dug around my mini black backpack for some coins, when Jin Yeong reached out a hand and gave me 500 yen.
"Ah," I mumbled. "Arigatou."
He grinned and patted my head, before facing his front.
At the same time, we made a wish as we threw the coins. We then bowed and clapped twice before ringing the bell. I stared at the Shrine for a few moments. After that, I stepped back and walked towards Jin Yeong who was waiting for me.
"What did you wish for?" he asked.
Freedom.
"Doesn't matter," I answered instead. "It won't come true, anyway. You?"
The corner of his lips turned up. "I'll let you know when it comes true."
I snorted. "That's not fair. What if it doesn't?"
"See? I haven't told you yet, and you're already jinxing it."
Rolling my eyes, I replied, "Alright, I'll let it go." With a sigh, I looked around. There were people in every nook of this place. My eyes landed on a crowd of people not too far away. "Want to get your fortune?"
Jin Yeong's eyes practically twinkled as he nodded in excitement. For a moment, I stared at him. I wondered if I looked like that when I went to Seoul. But more than that, I realized he was back to his carefree self. What changed?
"It's over there," I said, pointing a finger at a distance.
We waited for the other tourists to finish first. When it was our turn, we grabbed the stick holder and shook it. At least, I shook it with all my might. And after half a minute of vigorous shaking, I took out a stick with a number on it and looked for the drawer with the same number. Then, I pulled out a paper from that drawer.
"Ha!" I grinned triumphantly, after reading the contents. "I got good fortune!"
Jin Yeong was quiet, though. When I looked at him, he had a troubled look on his face as he read through his fortune paper. I took a step closer and studied him.
"Doushita no?" What's wrong?
"Bad fortune," he deadpanned.
My eyes widened. "What does it say?"
"Nothing good."
I was about to lean forward to see, but he quickly folded it up. He shook his head at me and went to tie the paper to the nearby rod stand where the rest of the bad fortunes were.
It must be really bad for him to react that way, so I let it go. We went to the fountain next. I demonstrated how to do it, and he followed suit.
Today, he was the Jin Yeong I remembered from Seoul. It was hard to stay mad at him when he was acting like his old self. But I had to be strong.
I was completely honest with him about everything, and yet he didn't say a word. For three years, I dreaded getting married with Jesam while he knew all along who I was.
He didn't experience the stress, the worry, and the fear I went through because I had no idea who he was. He didn't have to fear getting married to a complete stranger.
"Let's go to the top," I declared, trying to get my mind out of the gutter.
With the amount of people climbing up, I doubt we had time to talk. We followed the sea of people heading to the orange gates. I noticed a lot of people were taking pictures, preventing some people from walking along.
After an hour or two, I wasn't able to keep track of time, we made it to the top. It was a long way from the ground, but I was glad there were way fewer people here.
Finally, some peace and quiet.
Jin Yeong tried to catch his breath, puffing his chest and averting his eyes from mine. He kept blinking a lot, and he was sweating too much. His already pale skin looked even paler.
"Daijobu?" Are you okay?
He nodded. "Oh."
I wasn't convinced.
He straightened up and admired the skyline of Kyoto with a smile on his face. "Daebak, this view is definitely worth it."
"Do you need some water?" I asked, watching him carefully.
Nodding, he said, "I'll get it."
I firmly shook my head. "No, I'll do it. You stay here."
Before he could argue, I left and went to the nearest vending machine. My forehead creased as I recalled Jin Yeong's face. I'd never seen him look so worn out. Was that why he was so quiet on our way up here? I thought that was strange. Because despite the amount of people, he'd still find a way to talk to me. But he didn't.
When I got back to him, he was passed out on one of the benches. My heartbeat raced in panic, as I hurried to his side.
"Jin Yeong!" I exclaimed, tapping his cheek. "Yi Jin Yeong!" I hissed again. I checked his pulse, it was pretty strong. Wait, was he sleeping?
To be sure, I pulled out my phone and immediately called our family doctor. Call it an exaggeration, but I didn't know what else I should do. I could call an ambulance, but Jin Yeong's pulse was there. And... he was snoring.
After explaining exactly what happened and describing Jin Yeong's appearance earlier, the doctor was able to give me some answers.
"It must be over fatigue from stress or lack of sleep," he speculated. "Perhaps both. Force him to drink some water and get enough rest to gain strength to go down and get back to your hotel. I advise him to get some much needed rest."
"Wakarimasu. Arigatou gozaimasu." I understand. Thank you very much.
"Do itashimashite, Yuki-sama." You're welcome, Yuki-sama.
I hung up and laid my eyes on Jin Yeong, releasing a sigh of relief. He must've been pushing himself lately. I lifted his head up as I sat on the bench, then placed his head on my lap.
"Why are you pushing yourself for something you don't even want to do?" I mumbled, gently running a hand through his hair. "It's almost as if you're not doing it for yourself."
I stilled, blinking in realization.
"You're not... You're not doing it for me...?"
There was no way that could be true. Why would he force himself to go through that just for me? I was way over my head here.
'All I could think about was seeing you again.'
I bit my lip, shaking my head.
"No, it can't be."
'I wanted to be worthy of you.'
I raised my head towards the setting sky, taking a deep breath. The back of my eyes stung, a warning that tears were daring to come out.
"Jin Yeong," I sighed. "You're such an idiot."
A tear slipped out and dropped on his cheek. I bit my lip as I wiped it off with a thumb. The movement woke him up, his eyes fluttering open.
"Yuki?"
He tried to sit up, but I could see the discomfort from his face. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back down.
"Rest a little bit more so you have energy before we return to the ground," I said quietly.
"Mian." Sorry.
"The doctor said you should get more sleep when we get back to the hotel."
He groaned. "You called a doctor?"
"Of course, I did!" I replied, feeling defensive. "I was about to call for an ambulance but you looked like you were just too tired – You were snoring."
"I was snoring?" he sounded surprised.
I merely nodded.
Jin Yeong reached a hand up and touched my cheek, before saying sincerely, "I'm sorry for making you worry."
My eyes closed, and I shook my head. I could feel him watching me.
"Yuki, look at me." He waited until I was looking at him, before he asked, "What's wrong?"
"You had the chance to get out – walk away from all this." I bit my bottom lip, stopping it from trembling. When I trusted my voice wouldn't crack, I continued, "Why didn't you? Why did you compromise your beliefs? What for?"
He turned his eyes away and watched the sky change colors, from a yellow-ish hue to deep orange. He absentmindedly licked his lips, while he thought of what to say.
The warm breeze was now colder as we enter into the night.
"For me," he finally admitted. "For the girl who made me believe in a lot of things – most of all, myself." He paused, his eyes meeting mine. "For us, because we deserve more time."
My heart pounded hard against my chest, the pain deepening with every beat.
"You gave up your freedom for more time?" I asked, horrified at the thought.
Was it worth it? Could it be worth it?
A soft smile appeared on his face. "That's just me being selfish. I knew that if I didn't agree, you'd be married to someone else – my brother, probably." He reached up a hand and stroked my cheek, tracing my jawline. "I wanted you all to myself."
The noise from the people around us decreased. All I could hear was my heartbeat getting louder and louder. All I could see was Jin Yeong's face, wearing an expression of utter... love.
He couldn't be in love with me, could he?
"You won't regret it?" I asked, when I finally found my voice.
He grinned, looking amused. Then, he sat up and faced me.
"I told you before, there's no such thing as wrong timing. That's why..." he trailed off, locking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "My last condition was you."
I blinked. My jaw dropped.
What?
"I told Abeoji that I would only agree to the marriage alliance if it was with you."
He gave me his most adoring smile.
"Nobody else."
I was frozen on the spot when he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, and all I could do was blush.
"Only you, Yuki."
_____________
Do you hear my heart breaking at the thought of what Jin Yeong went through? T_T
Next Update: Saturday or Sunday